"What do you mean you kissed him!" Jess held the phone away from her ear as Jenna's voice shrilled across the phone lines. "You're ENGAGED Jess! You're getting married in less than a month! Or did you forget that?" Jess sighed and waited until her roommate calmed down, then put the phone back against her ear. "I know I'm practically married Jenna…but as soon as I saw Nick…he looked so lost Jen, so alone. I did that, I made him look like that." Jess's voice cracked as the tears started to fall. "Jessa, you didn't do that…he hurt you…" "But that was so long ago!" Jess interrupted her friend, "It was almost 2 years ago Jen, and it's been almost a year since I've seen him…not since…" her voice trailed off as she recalled their nite together. "I know Jess, but still…you kissed him? And you waited almost 2 weeks to tell me!" Jess paced the floor with the phone, trying to define her feelings to her friend, although she couldn't even define them to herself. "Things have been…nice Jen. I'm really happy right now, here. I had to wait to tell you, I had to figure out how I felt. I can't marry Dylan Jen, I don't love him. I've known that for months now. It's not fair to him is it? To let him believe that my feelings will change when they won't!" Jen sighed and Jess could almost picture her shaking her head with frustration. She didn't care that Jess wasn't in love with Dylan, she cared that Dylan had money and prestige and that she was a friend of his wife-to-be. "Jess…you cannot dump this man! Do you have ANY idea what that would do to your career! To break up with one of the most prestigious designers a month before one of the biggest weddings planned in the industry!" "I'm not like you Jenna, I don't care about what the modeling world thinks of me! I DON'T LOVE HIM!" Jess's voice almost screamed into the phone. "You are going to fuck everything up Jessalyn Carter! Do you know that! EVERYTHING!" Jess listened as Jenna slammed the receiver down, then hung up as she heard the dial tone in her ear.
Jess sighed, realizing she was alone in her decision. She'd hoped Jenna would understand, would listen to her, help her decide how to tell Dylan she couldn't do it. She'd hoped Jenna would be a friend to her…and the call only made her realize she didn't really have any friends. Jenna was the only person she really had considered a friend. She'd confided in her when she first started modeling, the two of them eventually moving in together. But she knew Jenna never wanted to hear about Nickolas, not caring about her feelings for him. Jenna cared about one thing, making it big as a model. And when Jess had gotten engaged to Dylan Bryant, one of the most respected and sought after fashion designers, Jenna had done nothing but bless the relationship. Trying her best to make Jess forget about Nick and the nite they'd spent together back home. Jenna had continually told her that what had happened was nothing more than "a one nite stand" and that "mistakes happen."
But Jess knew in her heart that Nick wasn't a "mistake" that he was the one she was meant to be with. But she'd felt obligated to Dylan. He'd been a support for her through so much, in the beginning, had helped her career soar. Because of his designs, as well as his name connected with hers, she'd become one of the most desired models in the industry. And she knew that the minute she turned her back on Dylan, her career would be over. And she no longer cared. She'd learned that Dylan wasn't the wonderful man she had once believed him to be. The more her popularity rose, the more demands he made on her. And Jess was drained both physically and emotionally. And when she had come home for her friends wedding, she had told her mother that she planned to move back home. She hadn't gone into details, knowing her mother would respect her decision in the end. Her mother had never really liked Dylan anyway, Jess couldn't help but smile remembering her mother's face when she told her she was planning to leave him. She could tell her mother was holding back as she just nodded when Jess had told her. She could only imagine how quickly her mother had called Nickolas's to share in the news. Neither of them had approved of Dylan. She wondered if Nick's mother had told him about her impending break up. Jess walked to her window and glanced across the yard and smiled. Nick was in his front yard working on the lawnmower; probably the only remaining gas powered machine on the planet. She stepped back from the window and headed for the stairs.