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Waiting Wondering
As I stand here waiting
For you to wake,
I stand here wondering
If it is to late,
Too late to save you from
The light.
The light is getting stronger
With every step you take,
But I can’t afford to loose you,
I can’t afford to wait.
I will be here until the end
when I too must travel that road.
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Doom
Fantasies torn apart
By words of a stranger.
He calls himself hope,
But in reality he is doom.
It used to be a wish,
Now just a mere memory.
All will be nothing.
I won’t be here long.
As I am leaving for the next
My wish will be forgotten
In a maze of haze
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Dream
This is the perfect reality
A reality I see only when in sleep.
I dream of all the happy things
A perfect life in which I be
Then I wake and see her next to me
But then I sleep and realize it
Was all a dream
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Forgiven?
Mommy why did you leave me here?
Haven’t I been good?
I never meant those things I said.
Why can’t you hear me?
Please take me with you,
I don’t want to be left with him.
Is there any way that I will ever
See you again?
Please forgive me…
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Forgotten Dreams
Forgotten dreams and empty memories come
Back to fill me with hate and misery
They remind me of what I have dreamt of
but never received. All the time spent
Thinking of you is wasted as I see the
Fire reducing to embers. My feelings reduce
To nothing and all hope of rekindling the flame
Has diminished like the empty memories now
Forgotten. As I sit in my room thinking of you
I can’t stop myself from asking what if it had
Been different?
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Gentle Touch
Waiting on your gentle touch
To find me in my life
To set me free and allow me to be with you
To mend the wounds and scars of the past
To allow a light into the future
To provide aid when I might have fallen
To answer the questions of my heart
To hold me close in the long winter nights
To be able to hold you close till death
Tightens its grasp
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Goddess
And out of the ashes
Comes a new
A new love
Better than before.
Like a goddess
She rises from the sea,
Her hair is gold
And glistens with
Unreal radiance,
Her skin is pale
Like the moon on
A cloudless night,
Eyes of the forest
Take in everything
They touch.
And as I watch her,
Her beauty mesmerizes me.
As I walk to her
And stare into her
I seem to find myself trapped,
Trapped in a place
I don’t want to
Escape from.
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Her
I am warmer now with her in my arms.
I never needed you.
You are the type I most despise,
And you shall soon find the person for you,
But I assure you it will never be me.
It never truly was me.
Only an illusion, creations of your mind.
Fate is close at hand,
And I hope I am not there when the cards are dealt.
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Him
You have lost the battle,
And I have won the war,
there is no hope for you any more.
I have come to replace you,
But I will be more than you,
I will be the one that never leaves.
You are but dust of the ages,
Something that needs to be swept out.
She is lost to you now.
Belonging to no one not even me.
But I will always be there for her,
As friend, guide and lover,
Something you will never be
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Death
In a box that is as old as life,
I wait out the years before I take flight.
For what is time, but the drop of water in the sea,
And being here feels like an eternity.
Like gazing into a mirror,
What we do in life will follow us into eternity.
In the coffin we do sleep cuddling with all
Of our precious memories.
Times we hold dear and things we fear
Will not escape our grasp,
But instead will stay within close reach
And will haunt our dreams of what
We once had.
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Destiny
The gun is loaded,
the knife is sharp,
the water is deep.
My life has ended,
I feel no sorrow,
I will not be here tomorrow.
Left my belongings for my friends,
Because they were there until the end.
My choice made, it is my final answer.
And as I stand before them,
I can remember I was in control of
My destiny.
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Imperfect Reality
There is no measure
Of time I want to be with you.
I would like to be with you,
To you will be here,
But my dream is shattered.
An imperfect reality.
I watch it get destroyed.
Time is all but nothing,
Space is everything
For I become master,
Master of all.
I watch from the shadows
Of an imperfect reality,
Watch you,
Caught in another’s embrace.
And as I slip among us
As I wait for impending doom.
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Lost & Found
The old pain of loss is returning,
And I don’t want to lose what I have,
For it is better than any thing I have known.
And what if I did leave?
I know you care,
But would you want to change
Anything you did or didn’t do?
I would hope you would accept
Me with open arms and a smile
And say you love me like I do you,
And maybe dreams can come true.
Maybe someday it will happen.
But until that day, and even after,
Know I will always love you.
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My Dreams
Watching as you fade
Off into distant lands,
Realms I visit at night
But where I cannot be with you.
You are there sometimes,
But that is me,
My thoughts, not you.
Your presence is felt
And the choice is mine.
My wish to be with you.
Never wanting to see the truth,
But living in the false,
For you lay beside me,
But that is only momentary.
Imagination lasts forever.
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Mystery
A girl of mystery
Haunts my dreams.
Learning the truth
From concealed lies.
I still love you
Even if we are
Shrouded in darkness.
No past,
No present.
A future bright
With the two of us,
Together in eternal embrace.
I feel nothing when I
Am with you
I only feel your
Body against mine.
As we find peace
In solitude…
My heart is yours.
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Tanya
She is the flower,
And I am the bee craving the nectar.
You drive me wild,
And make me feel like doing anything.
She is the candy,
And I am addicted to her sugar.
I can’t get enough of which
There is an endless supply.
Like a fly trapped in a spiders web,
Nothing maters while you are near.
Strong and beautiful,
And always there for me.
She is a satin blanket,
Like silk caressing my skin.
Holding her near and
Never letting go.
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Reality
Sweet intolerable fragrance of the beloved,
Dulls the scenes and toys with the mind,
Intoxicating body and soul with
Never-ending exotic memories;
As warmth surrounds you,
You are engulfed in a sea of torment,
As waves of pleasure wash over you.
When the waters recede you are left with
One question…
Dream or reality?
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Restoration
As I look into your eyes I dive into your
Soul, I see something once full of life
Now weak and desolate. With every
Second that passes I see more of you
Wither away and die. I try to gather
The pieces in hope of restoring what was
Once there. Like a rose with nothing left
Turns black and looses all it once had,
Your soul too goes black and dies. Now
As I hold your cold hand I wait for
My time when I can be with you again.
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Someone Like You
Burying the remains of my life
Along with the things I hold dear.
Forgetting what I once knew,
Knowing now there is nothing left.
I live now as I wished many to be,
And I am no longer blind to the world.
Faded dreams remind me I was once
Someone like you…
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Can Will When Why
Can there be a perfect lover?
Always there,
Never doubting.
Will there be an end to the chaos we call life?
Death to us all.
When will we wake up and be blind no more?
Sometime never,
But always we sleep.
Why does the world hate me so?
DOOM
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Who Are You?
Who are you to say you are the one?
The only. The power.
Controller of my life.
Sin, Devil, even you
Are but a dream.
A dream that everyone
Shares.
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Seekers
Looking in the dark
For the wish of life,
Will leave you
Blind and confused.
Stray not from your path,
It will flow straight
And true in the end.
What you seek
Only finds you,
When you think
There is nothing left.
Not easily understood,
Not easy to grasp,
Love will find you,
At last.
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Torn
Torn in two,
No place to go.
What am I supposed to do?
Sit crying,
I can not decide.
What is there anywhere else?
A match made in heaven,
Is my only reason.
But can it last?
It used to be different,
Longing for someone else.
It is all over now.
I long for you,
I need you.
But I feel torn from you.
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My Failure
Taken from hell by an angel’s embrace,
And frozen in time and space.
But what is time against infinity?
Being with her is bliss,
And I never want just one last kiss.
Can we be alone together forever?
She has given me the key,
For what I want to be.
But all I have is the choice…
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Hope
I feel I need to get away
From the life that I am in
Bor I live in my own hell,
And everyday is a waking nightmare.
Pain and torture are my closest friends
Because they let me know I am alive.
You are a dream come true,
A angel from heaven,
And now that I have you
I cannot let you leave.
Now I long to see you,
To know I have something to live for.
You have become all that matters now,
You are my ray of light.
Time goes by, and there is not a second
That you are not on my mind.
We will be in this forever,
You and I.
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Lost Love
They say things change for the better,
Things get good over time,
If you just take the time to look.
It is not always true.
To have love and lost
Is better to have never loved at all,
But why is that true when you
Lost the one you truly love?
Though I may move on,
I may continue,
I will never love another
Quite like you!
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My Void
Where have I failed?
What have I done wrong?
Too little reasons,
I don’t know why.
Unexpected things appear
And me left alone.
Now to seek another.
But where can I find
The answers I so dearly crave.
Who can teach me
What I want to know?
I guess you deserve better,
Hope your luck brings you to.
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"X"
I feel lost and confused
After trying to be your eveerything.
So twisted and used
I now don't know what to do.
You tell me it is all the same
And nothing will ever change.
You have left before
And it seems I am loosing you again.
I wish you could see
The truth behind my words
When I say
I will love you forever more.
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Beautiful
Wow...
You are beautiful,
Did you know?
Yes, beautiful,
Heart and soul.
You pick me up
When I am down.
Always seem to find a smile,
When all I do is frown.
What makes you like this,
So sweet and fine.
To find a guy like me,
And treat him one of a kind?
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Close Your Eyes
Close your eyes,
Let go,
I'll Catch you, sall you fall.
Close your eyes,
Dreams come fast,
Don't hide, I can make them real.
Close your eyes,
Call me,
And I will be at your side.
Close your eyes,
Sleep now,
Leave this world behind
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Autumn
Slowly do I watch
As death tightens its grasp.
Peace.
Like autumn,
It is the last breath of life,
Before finally giving way.
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Shayna
Come on,
Embrace me,
Let me stifle your fears.
The raod seldome taken,
Leads on to desire,
I'll show you the way.
No screaming,
No crying,
No hiding in shame.
I will be there,
Will find you,
And take away your pain
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Torn Pt. 2
See now you are torn
Just like I was,
And I am.
You see what it is like,
Because there is only pain.
You will understand you
Canot have both,
And in the end,
Only one will be your friend.
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If Only
What does it all mean?
Do I go on just for you?
I would hope there is more,
More truth to the meaningless.
Hope that something, someday
Will be snigifant.
I would wish for the
World if only,
If only...
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Infatuation
It is such a dirty word
It means I love you,
But I can never be with you.
You are my obsession,
My obsession.
I would love to
Tear you apart
And make you one
Of me.
But I am bound
Bound by loyalties,
I have to be true to my nature
But I can't be true
To Myself
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Memory
As I lay here lacking the love we once shared,
Now only a distant memory in a dream of despair.
For you all the memories we once shared,
Can be tossed away into a pile with out a care.
But for me that is not the same,
Because memories are precious no matter who's to blame.
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Face
Through this have I see a face,
A face that reminds me of
A love I once had.
Now I see through this haze
And realize there is no face,
No love,
Only hate.
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Someone
I am lost in
An overwhelming
Sea of darkness
Where the water is constantly
Rising, and will
Soon be above my head.
I need someone to
See me, to hear me.
Someone to help me
Overcome these problems
That I am faced with.
But when I call,
My words fall on deaf ears,
And those who hear
Don't understand.
I need someone to help me,
Someone to hear me,
Someone to pull me to land,
When others watch me
Drift to sea.
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Amanda
Now all I have to
Do is wait.
Wait for you to leave
Him, and come to me.
For I am waiting,
Waiting for a chance
To know you,
To love you.
But I cannot offer
More than he can,
Except for my knowledge.
My knowledge about
The world, and what
Makes people happy.
I want to please you,
To be there for you,
And to fall in love
With you.
I know I could love you,
It would be so easy…
All I would need to do
Is open my heart to you.
But what I am saying is:
I love you,
Please love me…
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Two Roses
Two roses intertwined
Are no less beautiful
Than you.
You are the joy in
My life.
The person I wake up from
Every morning,
And the person I see
Every night.
Your love completes me,
And your kiss entreats me.
Needless to say
Your love is all I want,
You are all I need.
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Amanda Part II
It is more than a mere fantasy,
It is a burning desire.
My love for you grows day by day.
And also my scorn for those who
Hold you.
I couldn’t treat you bad as you
Say you want to be treated?
I could only hold you and bask
In the feelings I get when I am around you.
And I guess I am more loyal than
I give myself credit for,
Or is it that I forget how it
All begins.
I don’t remember how it all starts.
How to make it all begin,
But maybe I never did.
I have so much to learn,
And I was wondering…
Could you teach me?
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T & R
Tears would stream down
My face if I could
Only cry.
For I have lost a
Gift more precious
Than gold, and sweeter
Than sugar.
I have lost my love.
She is with another
For a promise
But what about the
Promise to me.
That you would
Return?
You see I will wait,
And it is all ready
Unbareable to watch
From afar.
It is unbareable to
Know that of which
Is my own fault.
Everyday brings me
Closer to the edge
Without you by my side.
Can you please see
That you mean everything
To me?
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San Diego
I’ve been dreaming
Of the ocean,
Of white sand,
And blue water.
Down past the rocks,
Where the creatures rest,
Is where I want to be.
I want to relax with
The waves lapping at
My feet.
Even if it is for just
One more moment.
I want to be home.
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Truths
I am tired of
Bing broken,
It has only proven
True, that which
I thought.
I want you,
I don't care about
The others.
I found my own
Truths.
And the truth is
I cannot see myself
With someone else.
I can't see myself,
With anyone but you...
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Light and Dark
You are the light
That shows my path.
You are the dark
That brings desire.
In every moment I
Will remember you
In every moment I
Need you.
You are my sense
Of compassion,
My level head
You are my head rush
The one who brings
Me to my knees.
You are old
But you’ve never
Been young
You are young
And will never
Grow old
I would die for you
If only I could live
I would live for you
And never let you die.
In the end
You are my angel
In the end
You are my devil.
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Void
There,
Do you see the black
Beyond the spiraling madness?
It takes and takes
And leaves nothing behind
No light escapes,
Nothing ever does
Why does it have to be like this?
Why do you do
What you do?
I was spinning
Faster
Faster
Only their own special
Light save me
Thank you
I have a clear head now
And a lot of righteous anger
I need my space
I need to sit with
The moon and the stars
Again,
Thank you…
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Art
Johnny received a box in the mail today
Didn’t say who it was from,
All it said was “I love you.”
He took it up to his room,
And a few minutes later…
A gunshot was heard
When his mom found him crumpled on the floor
With his brains covering the wall
All she could say was… “Art.”
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(No Title)
You call me sweet,
And I miss your smile.
Distances separate us
But I can still remember
Just the way you feel.
How I have always
Wanted you next to me,
You have always wanted me too.
Why did I never comply?
Did I not see you crave...
How could I be so selfish?
And now I see the error
Of my ways.
Someday I hope,
That I will no longer
Have to dream.
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