I wish iI hadn't told ANYONE at all. I think I jynxed myself...
It's all over.
I woke up at around 4am with pretty bad cramps. I just 'knew' something had happened. I lay there hoping like crazy it would go away.
But it didn't.
Everything happened so fast.
It was all over within a few hours. By 7:30 this morning, my fears were confirmed.
My baby is dead and I'm miscarrying.
The doctor I saw wasn't very sympathetic. It hurts like crazy to be told that I was losing my baby.
Now there's nothing. No one to hold in my arms, to love, to nurture, no one to call me 'mummy', like I have so longed for, no one to say the things children do. I was ready for this.
I was ready to be a mother.
I have run out of tears- I cried them all this morning...before I went to school.
Yes, I actually went to school.
I just told mum it was "...for English..." and went to the hospital from there.
I feel hollow, numb, but mostly shocked.
I've cancelled Saturday's appointment.
There's no point now.