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Disclaimer: I don�t own "Buffy;. I just borrowed some of the characters. Rated: NC-17

Ulterior Motives

Chapter 16

Giles snarled softly, he wasn't pleased at all. The Council was pushing him to make direct contact with the Master of the Hellmouth. He didn't want to go to a vampiric court, especially since he knew that Willow, Tara and Buffy would insist on going too. He fingered the letter for a moment then tossed it down on the round table in the corner of the Magic Box and forgot about it.

Ten minutes later he was wishing he hadn't. Buffy had found it and read it. Now she was demanding to be allowed to come with him when he went to court.

"Buffy, if I do let you come, and I'm really not sure I should. You can't disrespect Spike. If you do, he'll have to respond in order to keep control of the court. I don't want to deal with it. I'm supposed to, I believe the phrase is, mend fences with Spike. You causing a scene won't do that."

Buffy didn't pout, she just shrugged. "I won't start anything. If he can control himself, I can do the same. And you know that Willow will want to go. Try turning down the puppy dog eyes of doom. I dare you."

Giles polished his glasses and sighed. "Good lord, how does that girl do that? She manages to look like it's the end of everything. But she never looks like that when it really is."

Buffy shrugged. "Haven't a clue. I've practiced and practiced and I've never managed to master it. My lip doesn't tremble right."

Giles gave Buffy a stunned look. "Are you sitting there, telling me that you practice that look? Heaven help us all."

"Yes."

Giles just picked up a book and stuck his nose in it. He wasn't dealing with this, at all, ever. The ways of American girls were incomprehensible at times. And this was one of them.

Buffy cheerfully dumped her books on the table, and as she sorted through them, she remarked. "Well don't have a spaz. We'll figure it all out. Or, you will."

.

Xander had eaten a huge breakfast, had a short interview with Master Bruce, and was now seated at his desk. He took one look at the work load and grumbled, "How the hell did I go from a carpenter to a translator of demony gobbledy gook? And messages? Neat idea, have to compliment Syl on that. And what happened to the first lady?"

Sylvia was standing in the door and heard. "I think she went out and never came back. Slayer got her."

Xander sighed, rubbed his face with one hand and just settled in his chair. "That sucks. Tell you what. See if you can't get yourself used to bagged stuff. I really don't want to lose you. Ok?"

Sylvia smiled. "Um ... I never did human. I like dog." Xander blinked at her then made a face. "It works." Sylvia shrugged, handed Xander the tape recorder and left.

Xander listened to his messages and thought hard. Buffy's message was short and contained an apology and a bit of rambling about how she was in college and yada yada yada. Tara's made him smile. All she said was she was sorry and to call her if he was over being mad. He couldn't be mad at Tara, she'd always done her best but she was a follower and in love with Willow. Willow's message just irritated him. She babbled, wibbled and whined. She managed to somehow blame it all on either Spike, bad karma or his own incompetence. Xander shrugged his irritation off.

He picked up the phone and called Tara first.

"Hi, Tara. Just wanted to call you first."

Tara blinked for a second then just replied softly. "Oh, hello. I'm glad. Are you ok?"

"I'm fine. How are you?"

Tara sniffled a bit. "Sad. I'm sorry. I should have made Willow ... do something."

Xander snorted. "And how could you do that? Willow in stubborn head mode is immovable. She should have wanted to do something instead of trying to shove it under the rug. I'm still a bit pissed at her. But I forgive you. I'm sure if you'd realized you'd have been more insistent. Right?"

Tara allowed that she would have. They visited a bit more then Xander asked to speak to Buffy if she was there. She was and had been nearly dancing with impatience.

"Xander! I'm so sorry. I really am. But what I was supposed to do I don't know. Not a mojo person. Give me something to kill, I'm good. Stinky weeds and glowy things and I'm sunk. So anyway, you tell Spike I said be good to you or else. Ok? And Willow's nearly snatching the phone out of my hand so are we good or what?"

Xander allowed that they were as good as they were going to get for a while and said to put Willow on.

Willow took the phone and said, "Xander? I'm sorry. Really, really sorry. I messed up real bad. And I can't fix it I've researched and researched you're stuck with Spike. I ..."

Xander, who had been calling Willow's name, finally got her attention. "Willow, I'm not in the mood for a genuine Willow babble. You messed up. You promised that you wouldn't work any mojo on me and then you did. I'm still kinda pissed at you."

Willow sniveled and Tara put an arm around her, even if she did agree with Xander. Willow handed the phone to Giles.

"Xander, I'm sure you're still aggravated with Willow but there's no need to be unkind. Please think before you speak." Giles pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, he hated being a peace maker. Their childish arguments got on his nerves. He really wanted to let Ripper loose on them sometimes.

Xander, for his part, was trying not to go ballistic on Giles. Then he decided ‘why not'

"Excuse me? Aggravated? I'm aggravated? Doesn't quite cover it. How ‘bout pissed. Or furious? You ... and Willow both left me hanging out to dry. Do you have any idea what it's like to be a thrall in a vampire's court? No, of course not. I'm the only one who does but I'm expected to show sympathy. Get over yourself. And don't send me any translations. Do them yourself." His voice had gotten colder and colder with every word and now he seemed to be dripping icicles. He started to hang up but Giles called his name and he decided to give it a bit.

"I'm sorry if I seem unsympathetic but it's Spike after all. He's chipped, what can he do?"

Xander sputtered for a second then just snarled. "Coming to court, aren't you? You'll see." and hung up.

The sound of hands clapping startled him. Spike was standing in the door clapping his hands. He swaggered over to Xander, the effect not spoiled a bit by the absence of his duster.

"Well, that was a treat, pet. Only, now what?"

Xander smirked at Spike. "Now we put on a little show. Buffy won't dare do anything so I say. Let ‘er rip."

Spike gave Xander an evil grin. "Really, pet? You sure?"

Xander nodded. "As long as it doesn't really hurt."

Spike gathered Xander into his arms. "There, there, pet. You know better. Only time I'll ever really hurt you is if you do something stupid. Right?" He ducked his head to look Xander in the eyes. "Right?"

"Right. I know that. I ... damn!" Xander swiped at the tears in his eyes. "I'm going all girly."

Spike just petted and cooed as Xander wept into his shoulder.

He finally got himself under control. "Dammit, I can keep zombies from blowing up the school and fight demons and keep apocrypha from happening but I can't ... I just wish they'd realize ..."

Spike filed the zombie comment for later. "Pet, they'll never get it. They have a picture of Alexander LaVal Harris in their heads and it'll take blasting to get it out. So we blast. Ok?"

Xander sighed took the handkerchief Spike handed him and nodded. "You're better at this than I am so ... up to you. Make ‘em squirm."

Spike gave Xander a kiss, a hug and a really evil smirk. He sauntered out to make preparations. This was going to be fun.

.

Xander entered the room with a large tray and set it on the coffee table.

"Coffee? Or..."

The being didn't let Xander finish.

"Are you trying to poison me? My people are allergic, for lack of a better word, to caffeine." The being turned to Spike. "Master, control your slave."

Spike sneered at the being. "I'm not under your orders. The boy wouldn't have any way to know that Usura demons are allergic to caffeine. I didn't know." Spike turned to Xander and addressed him in kindly tones. "And what else is on that tray?"

Xander leaned over to open two pressure pots. "Apple juice, milk, and I can bring plain water if you'd rather. Coffee, master?"

Spike gave the Usura demon a pointed look and it had the good grace, or sense, to look embarrassed. It accepted a glass of juice and settled back. Xander handed Spike a cup of coffee and raised an eyebrow at him. Spike just nodded.

Xander left and came back a moment later with his own cup of espresso. The Usura demon blinked once and Xander realized that it had nictating membranes. It was a little freaky. He knelt on a cushion next to Spike and took a sip out of his cup.

Spike ignored the demon, turning to Xander instead. "I'm going to have a special harness made for you. I want you to be sure that the measurements are right. Understand?" Xander nodded and took another sip of his coffee. Spike sniffed. "What's up with that? Your coffee smells completely different from mine. Why?"

Xander settled back in seiza, getting comfortable. "I used a slow pull for my cup and a fast one for yours. It affects the flavor."

"Slow pull, fast pull? All right, pet, I give. Wot the bloody ‘ell are ya talkin' about?"

Xander grinned at Spike's slip. "The machine you got me, and I can never thank you enough for it, is manual. The slower you pull down on the handle the stronger the coffee. And I used a real slow pull on mine. You want another cup? And do you want me to make it special or will the pot do?"

Spike handed Xander his cup and shook his head. "No more. I don't need the extra caffeine and neither do you."

Xander grunted then put his cup down half finished. "As you wish, but I only get two cups a day anymore. Could I please finish?" Xander gave Spike a slightly pleading look. Spike told him to go ahead, so Xander picked the cup back up and sipped again.

Spike turned his attention to the Usura demon. "I want harness for my boy. Carefully padded. He gets one blister, even so much as a chafe mark and you're dog food. Understand?"

The demon nodded, paling as he realized that Xander was prized by this notorious member of the Scourge of Europe. "As you wish. I need to touch him if my measurements are to be accurate."

At Spike's nod Xander clambered to his feet, setting his empty cup aside. He turned and twisted, squatted and bent. The demon measured things that made Xander blush, but never lingered longer than was absolutely necessary. He almost did once and Spike's feral snarl let him know in no uncertain terms that he'd better move on quickly. When he was finished, he sat back in his place, spoke to his assistant who produced a sample book and settled back to allow Spike to examine the samples.

Spike blinked at the scarcity of the samples. There were only three colors black, white and red in an endless seeming number of weights. He made a face.

"Not what I was thinkin' of. Got anything else?"

Xander fingered one of the samples and grimaced. He didn't like any of them either. The demon snarled then stilled himself as Spike reared up like a cobra about to strike.

"I have a few more samples but no one ever asks for them." He flapped a hand at his assistant, who produced four more samples on a bead chain. Spike held one up against Xander's cheek. He snarled and tossed it aside. "Not what I want."

Xander scratched the back of his neck. "So ... do you know what you want?"

Spike jumped up and started pacing. "Black, black, and bloody more black. I wear black, you don't. Period. It's too ... stark. Too cold. You're all ... warm and ... I don't know. I just don't like it." Spike turned on the demon who trembled and cringed. "Figure it out. Not black. Red don't suit him and bloody hell not white."

The assistant rummaged in his huge bag and produced a ring of pieces of latigo leather strapping. He held it out to Spike with a trembling hand. "Perhaps Master might find one of these pleasing."

Spike took the scraps and flipped through them impatiently. He fingered several bits but didn't find what he wanted.

"This is nice but it's a bit stretchy. Got anything else?"

The assistant took the ring and flipped to one piece. "This is the best. It's alum tanned latigo. Very strong but we can work it until it's soft. And ... the padding could be this very nice dark yellow chamois. I think the brown is perfect for your man."

Spike fingered the piece then held it against Xander's cheek. Xander gazed at him with trusting brown eyes.

Spike nodded. "Yeah, that'll do. Remember ... so much as a chafe mark an' I'll have your guts for garters."

The two demons whimpered a bit then scrambled their things together and got out. Xander couldn't help a soft, ‘eeewww.'

Xander eyed Spike. "I'm not sure I like that. While I was out, you didn't pick some totally kinky something or other, did you?"

Spike shook his head. "No ..." He started then snarled, "Bloody hell. I forgot the chains. I'll call that prick back."

Xander gazed over Spike's shoulder. "Don't have to. There he is. Make nice."

Spike just snapped at the demon. "Here. Chains. Gold plated, got me?"

"Yes, master. I was just about to suggest something in a nice heat treated diamond cut steel."

Spike thought for a moment. "Diamond cut?" The demon nodded hesitantly. "Make ‘im glitter, yeah? Sounds a treat. Do it." The demon scuttled back out before Spike could change his mind, or eat or disembowel him. Spike snickered.

Xander just snickered too. Spike realized that his boy did have a very dark spot. Considering his parents it was a wonder he wasn't a psycho.

"Evil git."

Xander frankly laughed. "Look who's talking."

"Takes one to know one, yeah?" Spike grinned at Xander.

.

Xander dragged Spike to the old filling station and showed him around. Spike dodged the sunbeams pouring through the skylight with a hiss.

"Don't worry about that. I'm going to put in an awning sort of curtain thing. Open for sun, close when you're around. Ok? Can I have it? Please? Can I?"

Spike examined the place carefully while Xander nearly danced with impatience. When he was done Spike shrugged. "Don't see why not, pet. Hoists need some work. Don't use ‘em until they're checked out by an expert. Got me?" Spike pinned Xander with a stern glare.

"Right. Don't use a hoist until it's checked out. Seems good to me. Don't fancy squished Xander. Like all my bits where they are."

Spike snickered. "Careful there, pet. You're starting to sound like me."

"And that's bad because?" Xander gave Spike his best wide-eyed innocent look.

"Because I sound like me an' you sound like you. You only need one bay for your truck, wot ya gonna do with the other?"

Xander stretched carefully while Spike admired the play of muscle in Xander's t-shirt clad back.

"I'm going to put my wood working stuff there. The bench along the wall will hold all my small stuff and the main bay will hold my table saw, router, chop saw and workbench. It even has enough plug ins for everything. The room I'm using now is cramped, dark and has just one plug plate. The only reason I'm using it is it's insulated. I can use it anytime I want without waking anyone up."

Spike just shrugged. "Use it any time you want wherever you want. Anyone complains they can talk to me ... if they can talk at all."

Xander blinked, then snorted. "What are you going to do, rip out their tongue?"

"Yeah."

Xander did a double take, realized that Spike meant it and grinned. "Evil undead vampire."

"That's me, pet."

Xander snickered and just led Spike to admire the rest of the station.

When they were finished Spike told Xander that he had some ideas for the station as well and that he'd have plans drawn up for his, Xander's, approval. Xander couldn't help giving a little skip as they headed back down the long hall. "Thanks, sounds great. Now. Question. Why were you so rude to that Urusa demon."

Spike tapped a cigarette out of the pack and lit it. Drawing in a deep breath he exhaled slowly. Xander possessed himself in patience, realizing that Spike was using that small ceremony to gain time to think.

"Usura ... Well, see, pet. It's like this. You know anything about Japan." Xander gave Spike a ‘well, duh.' look. "Sorry. Marital arts. Well, demon relations are all about ‘face'. Who has it. Who's lost it. Lessening theirs and increasing yours. See?" Xander nodded. "He's beneath me, but he had the nerve to accuse you of intentionally trying to harm him. So, I sort of rubbed his nose in the fact that you love coffee a lot. And that you thought you were doing something nice for him. Pillock. He could have just said, ‘can't drink coffee, makes my people ill' or summat. So. I put him in his place and lessened his face. Got it?"

Xander nodded. "Yeah, I do. And that's why you sometimes have to punish me in public, right?"

"Yeah. Don't like it. But, and this is a warning, if I lose my temper, there's no telling what I might do. I'd be sorry later, but my temper gets the best of me something awful at times. Especially when I'm scared. So ... you're warned."

Xander nodded. "Yeah, but I'm really trying to be good." He gave Spike a sideways look. "And ... are we going to ... um ... Buffy. You know?"

Spike knew exactly what Xander was trying to ask. "Her face is going to fall, big time. In more ways than one. And the Watcher is gonna have a cow. As to Red and the Little Wicca. Red's gonna wanna curse my nuts off. The Little Wicca, she's the one I'm worried about. She'll feel really bad an' I'm not sure I like that."

Xander shrugged. "She'll be the only one to really understand. Might be some way to give her a head's up?"

Spike nodded. "Good thinking. I'll see what I can come up with. When you wanna do it?"

Xander thought about that, about how to increase Spikes face. "Next court. Rub their faces in my pathetic situation." Spike snorted his amusement, looking rather dragonish as smoke shot out his nose. "Right in front of your court. Ya think?"

Spike swatted Xander on the back of the head, making him complain, "Hey!"

Spike smelled the bug spray and asked, "What's that ruddy awful smell?"

"Roach spray. You should have seen it ..." He got a deer in the headlights look. "Oh, fuck me."

Spike couldn't help replying. "Soon, pet, soon. But what's wrong."

"You are so gonna punish me, I swear I forgot all about it. You'll have ... well, you better ... only please don't be too mad. Ok? Please?"

Spike took a deep breath. "Pet! I'm gonna be mad in about three seconds if you don't tell me ... WOT THE BLOODY HELL IS GONIN' ON!"

Xander just opened the door. Spike strode in coat tails flapping around his ankles. One look told him all he needed to know. He nearly fell over laughing.

"Damn. The watcher's been wetting his bloomers for weeks and this is what it turns out to be? Oh, priceless."

Xander bit his lip. "You're not mad? Really?"

Spike turned on Xander. "I'm mad all right. An' I'm tellin' ya now. The next time I find out ya been out fightin' incursions without me knowin' I'll take a belt to ya. Hear?"

Xander turned sullen. "You do and that's it. I don't care what you beat me with, except a belt. Don't ever. You hear?"

Spike blinked at the fierce glare Xander was giving him. He decided not to press this issue as Xander felt so strongly about it. "Ok, pet, no belts. Don't get your knickers in a twist."

"I don't wear knickers ... um ... Do I?"

As Xander was obviously willing to let the disagreement slide Spike let it alone too.

"Yeah, ya do. I'm the one that don't. Got some kind of container?"

Xander shook his head. "I don't carry around bottles or anything like that. I'll run back to the station and see what I can find. Why do you want it?"

"Gonna show this to the Wanker. He'll go mental. Get something big enough for the glass bits and some of the bugs, ok?"

Xander left and came back with a two-quart mason jar and lid. "Is this ok?"

Spike took it with a nod. He squatted down and scooped the glass into the jar using the lid as a pusher, he scrapped some of the bugs into a pile and did the same thing with them. He screwed on the lid and examined it.

"This isn't over. That didn't just drop from the heavens, or heave up from hell. Someone put it there. So, someone wants to open a door. And they won't quit trying."

Xander nodded solemnly. "No shit. We're going to have to seal some of the lower level doors. One's that go to the outside."

Spike nodded. "I'll take care of it as soon as we get back."

.

Xander headed for his office and Spike for his. But before they parted Spike insisted on his first kiss.

"Come on, pet. You know it's gonna happen. Be nice, yeah?"

Xander's first reaction wasn't the revulsion that Spike had expected, he just turned bright red. "I don't have any experience kissing men. I ... um ... don't want you laughing at me. So I'm a great big girl, all right?"

Spike pulled Xander into his arms. "Not a girl. And I would never laugh. If you're not a good kisser I'll just have to teach you. Right? Besides, I might like a completely different style than Queen C."

Xander opened his mouth to ask how Spike knew about Queen C, or Cordelia. Then he thought about it and just puckered up. Spike kissed him and he kissed back.

They were both surprised at how much they enjoyed it.

Spike finally broke it up, pushing Xander away exclaiming, "Here now. If we keep that up I'll have to take a cold shower. An' I hate bein' cold. Gerroff!" The last because Xander was clinging to him, giggling.

"Don wanna. Like kissin' you."

"Idiot."

"Berk!"

Spike laughed at this. "Am not, an' do you even know what that means?"

Xander shook his head. "No, but you always say it."

"Well, don't copy me. Now, again. Office. Yours there, mine here. Go."

Xander pouted but went. He had things he needed to do and he knew that Spike had work as well. Putting it off wouldn't get it done.

.

Three hours later Spike stuck his head in the door and announced that he wanted his boy. Xander looked up from his paper and rubbed at one blood shot eye.

"Here pet. Wot's this?"

Xander dropped the paper onto the desk. "It's in Latin. I hate Latin. But it's for that ... Lord Blak something. Too many consonants and not enough vowels. You wanted me to do this one particularly. So I'm working on it."

Spike nodded. "I remember. But if ... wot's wrong? Why are your eyes blood shot?"

Xander sighed and rubbed at the other eye, irritating it even more. "The letters crawl around like bugs. I usually refuse Latin. And this is in another one of those damn translations from some other language. Give me some nice Druidic Gaelic or Greek any demon language. Please. Just not this fucked up bastard mishmash and whoever wrote this spells worse than I do."

Spike just walked around the desk, intercepting Xander's hands as they rose to rub again. "Stop that. You're only making it worse. Come with me."

Xander didn't resist when Spike took him back to their quarters. He was tired. The eye strain had worn him out. He obediently lay down on the bed when Spike ordered him to.

Spike went into the bedroom and got a bottle of eye drops. He coaxed Xander into allowing him to put them in his eyes. Then he put a cool wet rag over Xander's eyes and told him to rest.

Xander fell asleep almost immediately.

.

The next three days went quickly and Xander was finally ready for his surprise.

"Spike. Will you trust me?"

Spike looked up from the book he was reading, took off his glasses and shrugged. "Sure. Actually you're the only human in this bloody town I do trust."

Xander bounced a bit in excitement. "And who else do you trust?"

Spike shrugged. "Timmins. So ... you gonna squeak beef or not?"

Xander figured he'd better get on with things. If Spike reached a certain point, he'd get pig stubborn on him.

"Yeah, ok. Come on. Come with me. I've got an unbirthday present for you."

Spike followed Xander into one of the rooms on the next level down. He eyed the chair with a puzzled look. It was just a plain dining room chair, straight backed and rather uncomfortable.

"It's a chair. Delighted, I'm sure."

Xander shook his head. "That's not the present. This is." He pulled the cover off a contraption that made Spike snicker.

"Well, pet, creatin' Frankenstein's monster all over again?"

Xander shook his head. "Re-creating Bloody Billy. Sit in the chair."

Spike blinked at Xander's use of one of his noms de gueir. "I'll go along, pet. But I'll admit to being fair bum fuzzled."

Spike settled in the chair and Xander moved his apparatus into place. He really hoped this worked. He'd reassured himself that if it didn't, it wouldn't harm Spike.

"Ok, now, I don't know if this will hurt or not. I hope not. But ... um ... I'm going to try to deactivate that chip."

Spike sighed, just like Xander to try the impossible. "Pet. Much as I appreciate the effort you can't remove that chip. Got it stuck right down in the middle of me brain. All hooked up nice an' nasty."

Xander checked settings and fiddled a bit. "Yes, I know. I'm not trying to remove it. It's a computer chip. ROM chip. Not a real good one either." Xander pulled a rolling stool over and sat down on it. "See, the chip is just a computer chip and a few wires that send electric currents into parts of your brain when you do whatever it is programmed to keep you from doing. I'm not sure where it gets the current and it's not pertinent to the discussion on hand. So, anyway, it's sensitive to magnetic and electrical impulses. I don't think it's a good idea to run a few thousand volts or watts through you." Spike's ‘me neither' made him grin. "The other option is electromagnetic. And ... um ... the other reason I'm really mad at Willow is. She had schematics and specs on that chip, right down to it's frequency on that computer she gave me. I'm gonna match that frequency and fry it."

Spike felt his mouth fall open. This actually might work.

"Ok pet, let's get to it then."

"Not scared I'll fry your brains?"

Spike shrugged. "Terrified. You tell anyone an' I'll deny it ta my last."

Xander fussed with the equipment for a second. When he flipped the last switch, the machine began to hum. He grunted ‘ready', Spiked nodded and Xander pressed a button. The hum got louder, Spike sat for a moment then sighed.

"Well, it was a good try. But nothing."

Xander just motioned to a being standing in the shadows. "Come here." The being walked up to Spike and just stood looking at him.

"Pinch him."

Spike reached out and pinched the being who winced and said "ouch"

"So?"

Xander grinned fit to split his face. "He's human. All human."

Spike glared at the man who just grinned and nodded. "Mom always said I was a pig, but ... human." He nodded once and left.

Spike just stood for a moment then he started to shake. Xander gathered him into strong arms and cuddled him. "So, ok? It's good?" He just petted and murmured as Spike struggled to control the tremors that shook him to his core. He was free. Finally, miraculously free.

"I'm free. I can do what ... I'm goin' out."

Xander opened his arms and nodded. "Figured you would. Don't eat any innocents. Ok?"

Spiked grinned. "Ok, pet, I won't. Just to make you happy. Mind if I eat a mugger or a pimp or two?"

"Eat a bad guy? I'm not sayin' a word. Just don't eat my dad, he'll make you sick. Go. Run. Hunt. Come back safe." Xander made shooing motions.

Spike caught him in a bear hug then ran out the door with a whoop. Xander shook his head and went to tell Timmins that the experiment had been a success.