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Chapter Nine

Despite my strongest efforts, my attempt to ignore the kiss I received from that BUM Reno was a failure. The rest of the school day was spent trying to, not only figure out his motives, but get my mind in check. I said yes to wanting to dive into another relationship with a guy, but now thinking more and more about it that might just be the death of me. People apart of Shinra, unfortunately, can not be trusted at all. They will stab you in the back as soon as your guard is down and take you for all you are. Ruining people’s lives and knocking out the competition is Shinras specialty. Thus, this is my plight- though I doubt Shinra would go as far as to pull someone down who poses no threat to them by seducing them with a rather sexy male, I can't help but have a little resistance towards my good friend Reno. Are his intentions real? Is he truly different than those other Shinra dogs? Will I ever answer these mind numbing questions? I guess I have to wait to find out.

But I hate waiting...

I manage to fine Reno away from his pack of stupid monkeys (sorry monkeys), in our schools library "doing homework" on the computer. I should actually be catching a ride with that crazy boy, Cid, but I want to ask a few questions first. I creep into the library, throwing my program card on the librarian’s desk, and make my way towards the computer next to the red heads.

"So...You like staying in the library when you should be catching a bus home." Nice opening line Strife! Knock out a few words and you get, "So, you come here often.” Are you trying to grill him or ask him on a date?

The red heads eyes never leave the hypnotic glow of the computer, but do allow a small, almost sinister, grin dance across his face. "No," he begins, "I just rather stay here than go home and have my mom whine and cry about how painful it is to carry a baby. I know I may sound insensitive...but I'd rather experience a root canal than be at home at this moment."

"Well that is insensitive," I say, almost too coldly for my liking...not trying to scare him away stupid brain! "But, I guess I see your point."

"Good! So then, want to stop the retarded small talk and get on to business."

The comment did catch me off guard, though I had expected him to know why I just suddenly show up at the library for no apparent reason. These Shinra kids are getting way to smart for their own good...I may just have to do something about it. Insert shifty eyes here.

"You are down here because I kissed you, in the nurse’s office, without warning," He begins, finally directing his sight to me instead of that cursed computer, "and so, being the prude you are, you're all bent out of shape and unable to concentrate. Am I correct?"

Should I be surprise he knew all of that, without being a mid reader...to my knowledge? Of course not! If he was honest about what he had told me earlier today, he also went through that awkward first kiss, that strange alien emotion that fills your gut every time you see that man you always wanted, and that unexplained desire to just through away the fairy tale books that say a boy and girl fall madly in love. Instead, you opt for a more unacceptable lifestyle. You take the abuse, you ignore the words disappointment, and you move passed the dreadful stare of your parents every time you bring home a boy for dinner. Why would anyone choose such a lifestyle, where your parents and friends abandoned you and society condemns you? I mean, no one just wakes up today and say, "I want to be gay!" That’s just ridiculous. So what is it that makes us choose the less acceptable lifestyle? Maybe there is no gay and straight, maybe there is just a guy who falls in love with another guy because he is everything he ever wanted, because they understand each other, communicate better than they could with any women. It’s just a feeling, and we choose to go with it...we are condemned for being happy.

Reno went through all of that; had the same thoughts, spent endless nights wondering if he was a disease, if he was stupid and wrong. That's why he could practically read my mind. Then again...so did...

"You had a boyfriend," his voice shatters my thoughts, "what was he like. I mean you act like you just came out of the closet."

I knew the question of my previous love interest was going to pop up sometime, I just hoped it would have been when I was dead and buried.
"I don't want to talk about him," I say, quickly finding the tiles on the floor very interesting...is that blood?
"Hey come on now! I told you about Tseng! And that was pretty damn private. So yeah!"

I shot him a warning glare, but Reno is ruthless when he wants information. Vincent was the same way when he was in Shinra. One time he wanted to know this deep dark secret I had so badly, he dislocated my arm. Turns out that so called “deep dark secret” were that I cheated on my English test in the 2nd grade. Bet he felt pretty stupid after that one!

"Come on Strife!" Reno begins to poke my arm really hard, digging his nail in my flesh.

"What are you four!" I shout quietly so that the librarian doesn't start her wailing. Reno gave me a lost puppy look that, though adorable, didn't faze me one bit.

"You are such an asshole!" He gives up, returning to the glowing drug that lay before him. I felt kind of bad...for like a nano second. I may be acting out of character around him, but I certainly have not gone insane! I have yet to see that monkey that follows me...yes...monkey.

"So whatcha looking at," I ask as I slide my chair behind him.

"Its a motorcycle website," he replies flatly, "I want a new one for my birthday, since my other one is a hand-me-down from pops."

"You know...I have a motorcycle."

-

Well to think of all things to spark a gay mans interest, its motorcycles!

I guess you would say I found out the hard way that motorcycles were among Reno’s "OH MY GOD WHAT THE ORGASM" turn ones. Once I mentioned I had one of these sexy modes of transportation, he grabbed my hair and forced me onto a bus, all the while screaming, "Why the Fk didn’t you tell me!"

Sp, here we are, in my garage staring at the hot, black Harley Davidson my dad got me last Christmas. I know, "what kind of father buys his fifteen year old son a motorcycle." Well ladies and gentleman, let me enlighten you.

"Son you don't seem cool enough, here is a motorcycle to increase your coolness."

Well, he didn't say it exactly like that, but that's what he was hinting to. Normally I would have let the poor thing rot in my garage, never touching it in fear I would become my fathers clone. However, this gift was way to cool to pass up. Therefore, like the understanding boy I am, I ignored my father completely and kept the gift. And to spite him, I ride at night so that no one can see my uber coolness.

"I am impressed Strife," Reno finally speaks up after as moment of silence, "I thought of all people you would rather die than own something this expensive."

""You take me too seriously," I sigh, "I may hate having all this money, since money equals greed, but I am not going to be a brat and throw a hissy fit every time I get something nice."

"Hey by any chance, were you the guy on the motorcycle who almost chopped off Sephiroth’s head last Tuesday?"

"Of course not!" I laugh weakly, "I wouldn't try to chop someone’s head off."

I was actually aiming for his penis, but whatever works for you.

"So, can I give it a spin?"

"Over my dead body."

-

Ugh, this is terrible. NO! Beyond terrible! This is the beginning of the end of my life. I don't even know what possessed me to say yes to this thing. I should have said no; she would have understood. Oh man, now I am stuck going to this stupid party. No, this stupid SWEET SIXTEEN! People dressed all fancy, DJs playing horrid rap and hop hop, the entire football and cheerleading teams, and worse of all...the dreaded candle ceremony! I know for sure she is going to call me up to help her light one of those annoying, obnoxious candles. WHY GOD WHY!

"Uh Cloud, you okay there?" Reno's voice suddenly snaps me out of my subconscious panic attack.

It is the night of Aeries Sweet Sixteen, and I was the only fool outside pacing. Cid and Barrett went in long before, so walking in now, all alone, is out of the question. Now that I think it would hurt my fine reputation. I just really...REALLY...want to avoid these little cheerleaders and their "Oh my God-a, are you still in love with Aeries?" questions. And unfortunately, there is no open bar. Oh God, please just kill me now.

"Earth to Cloud?" His voicing is ringing in my head like that annoying alarm clock Aeries got me...please make it stop.

"I'm fine," I snap, clutching my poor head in pain, "I just have a headache."

"You want some pills? I got some in my car." I look over at him, a nervous expression plastered on his face; that a-- really is worried.

""No, I'm fine. Thanks anyway."

"So, are you going to go in, or are you going to stand out here like an idiot?" He crosses his arms over his chest and shoots me a sinister smile.

Reno and the rest of Shinra were invited; apparently everyone in our junior class was, saving for the delinquents (unless you count Shinra.) To make matters worse I got the pleasure of sitting at the same table as them. I swear, Aeries I trying to murder me.

"You really should go in," Reno urges, "I mean, I would be rude if you didn't. She has a candle for you and everything. You can't leave her stranded."

Oh, like how she left me stranded?

“Besides that, their really isn’t any other reason for me to go in,” I sigh, scratching up my neck nervously.

“Yeah I guess you are right. I was just in there, and trust me, you ain’t missing anything. All the girls are acting like s, the DJ is playing horrible music, and the food tastes like .”

Well those are the top three things that will kill any party for me. Then I guess it is decided; I am going to be a jerk and just not show up. I guess it is morally wrong…but so is screwing your boyfriend’s rival.

“Hey!” Reno shouts, “How about you and I do something cool”

I eye him suspiciously; shooting my ocean like eyes into his forest like ones, searching for a motive. Yes, he and I have been getting somewhat close…but that doesn’t mean I trust him and his eyes. His eyes are LIARS!

They are…

Trust me…

“What do you mean,” I hiss between my teeth.

“Oh geez, Strife, just trust me for once,” he laughs, “It isn’t like I am trying to kill you.”

Well this now is a very strange predicament. Do I go home and do nothing all night except for…doing some geeky stuff I refuse to admit to here OR do I go with the strange red head who may be trying to have me killed. Hmm…home or death…home…or death. I choose

“Death, I mean yeah sure, lets go!”

-

Oh my lord, home is actually looking good right about now! I can’t believe he had not only the balls but the courage himself to take me to a gay nightclub (cleverly named Willies I may add).

“You….I am not going in there!” I shriek, looking into the door. I saw all the horrid images- Pink walls! Who the hell paints the walls pink in a gay club! Oh I mean, boys dancing…with each other…ooh.

“Oh Cloud, stop being such a prude,” Reno cackles evilly, “Lets just go in and have fun.”

“Me…go in there!” I shriek again, this time getting a strange glare from the bouncer, “I can’t go in there. I…I…hate to dance!”

SO true…so true…

“Fine, then you and I can just sit down and get drunk.”

I stop and look at the boy, who seemed way to calm to be doing this. He had to have known someone from Shinra would see us together in there. Right? RIGHT!

But after the night I was having so far, getting smashed wouldn’t be so bad. I have a fake ID I might as well use it. Plus, it isn’t like I am with bad company…right?

“Okay…I’ll go,” I sigh, regaining my smooth composer, “But I swear to god if I wake up in your bed tomorrow with no clothes on…I will be forced to murder you.”

“What about if you have clothes on,” he giggles gently. I shoot him a warning glare, narrowing my eyes at the smartass.

“Then I will just injure you to the point of hospitalization.”

“Sounds good to me!” He snatched my hand violently and dragged me into the nightclub like the beast he is!

The walls, as I shrieked before, were painted a horrid hot pink with matching curtains, furniture…etc etc. I had to look at all the boys dancing against each other just to remember I was in a gay club and not a girl’s bedroom. We made our way quickly through the crowd when I suddenly got the feeling I was here before. The gold tables and pink table clothes (ew) sparked an image of me as a freshman, sitting there all alone with a soda (god I was lame) trying to figure out this mess. It wasn’t the same club, I know, they must have changed the name.

Now that I remember…this is where I met him…

“Reno where did you fine this specific club?” I inquire as we come up to a booth hidden all the way in the back, where no one could see us (thank god!)

“Uhh, I had looked it up someplace,” Reno said talking a seat, “Why?”

“I don’t know, I just have the feeling I have been here before.”’

I take a seat next to the red head, who know seemed way to busy looking for a waiting to get us some strong alcohol. Lord knows I need it!

“HEY YOU! Guy in the tacky blue shirt!” Reno screams, causing me to cringe. Man, now that headache is back again.

The rather handsome ravened haired waiter, in the tacky blue shirt, strolled to our table with an aggravated look plastered on his face. Hmm I wonder why?

“May I help you sirs?

“Yeah you can,” Reno snaps, “Yo, get me a, hmm, Smirnoff. YES a bottle of Smirnoff, tacky.”

“Woah woah,” The waiter snaps back, “Let me see some ID.”

Reno stands up with a rather appalled look on his face. “How you implying that I don’t look over 21. Genius…we had to show our IDs to get in! Clearly I am of age skippy. So please fetch me a Smirnoff and the goofy looking blond over here a…”

Reno looks over at me for my order...

“Uh,” oh god I sound like an idiot, “get me a Budweiser.”

“Yes, get me a Smirnoff, and goofy over here a Budweiser. Run along little one.”

The waiter huffed and stomped over to the bar with our order. I laughed slightly at Reno, who had calmly returned to his seat laughing his ass off.

“Ha, I pissed off that guy so much!”

"Well, I see you have a strange sense of humor," I mumble, smiling gently at the boy.

"Meh, pissing off waiters are fun," he said casually, leaning against his seat.

"Yeah, its all fun and games until they spit in your drink."

Reno forces a laugh, "Yeah, been their done that."

We sat in silence for a few seconds, though it felt like an eternity. I knew why he dragged me to this place; he wanted to know more about...him. Most of my senses, save for my brain, was telling me to trust him; there wasn't any evidence saying that he would stab me in the back. Plus, who is he going to tell? Who the hell cares anyway?

"So," he finally says, "You want to tell me about your old boyfriend?" See, didn't I tell you.

I could feel my features darken, and I unwilling started to shut down my emotions. This always happens when someone mentions him, even if they don't suspect he was my boyfriend, just the idea of him draws me into darkness.

"I see," he whispers, "first boyfriends are the hardest. I can tell from the way you act every time I bring him up, he hurt you pretty good. Most first boyfriends do; they have already forgotten what it was like venturing into this world, and just expect you to automatically feel as comfortable as they are.

"Let me see, did he at you for not telling your friends?"

Yes.

"Wonder why you didn't want to hold his hand in public?"

Yes...

"Get aggravated when you flitch at his touch, or when you pushed him away?"

"That's what caused him to go insane," I finally speak, twiddling my thumbs nervously, "I was very jumpy and I thought he understood that. Then one night he wanted...to take our relationship to the next level. Part of me wanted to, so I went along with it until he headed for my pants. That's when I freaked out and jumped about five feet into the air.

"He couldn't take my coldness told him, so basically he gave me a choice...

-

"You sleep with me tonight Cloud, or it's over," he yelled. He was two years older than me, two years more experienced, and I was a newly "Out of the closet" freshman. Clearly he thought he could take advantage at my naivety.

"You ass! How dare you demand that!" I countered with more force, "I'm sorry I am not as experienced as you or as comfortable as you, but I am not going to have you f--k me because you are just some sick horny bastard."

"You know you want, Cloud, so why don't you just give in already!"

I stopped completely at that time, and just stared into his dark eyes. He was angry, but I was the one who felt betrayed. I always just assumed, from the first day we met, that he would ease me into this new world and protect me from the horrors of it. He proved me wrong there, but he did prove that all men are just horny and looking for sex.

"Sorry, I am just not a like you."

I stormed out of the little apartment he shared with his parents, and never spoke or saw him again.

-

"His name was Zack, by the way.."

Reno flashed me a sneaky crooked smile, "We aren't all horny, some of us are actually looking to fall in love."

"Are you one of the latter?"

From Vincent’s research I'd say he was the former- a freakin man . Apparently Reno likes to splurge in expensive night clubs and entertains young women. Er…well I guess Vincent’s research isn’t always right.

“I already have my heart away to someone, Strife. So, I guess you can say I am neither.”

“How’s that working for you?”

“Right now, you are making it hard.”

Our eyes were having a different conversation than our brains where. The forest green orbs of his were being seduced by my blue ocean waves, and subconsciously I knew it…and continued to flirt. How powerful eyes are; they allowed what we didn’t want to say to be heard, and draw us closer to each other. Before I knew it, I really was sliding closer to him, snaking my arm around his waist, and pulling him to meet me in the center. This time, I wasn’t taken by surprise when he pushed his lips gently on my mouth, melting the ice that surrounded them and my heart. And like before, I felt that ecstasy flow into me, getting me higher than I have ever been.

I felt his warm tongue dance across my lips, asking for entry into my mouth (tee hee). I almost freaked out at the alien feeling, but never the less I allowed him to explore my…Do I really have to finish explaining this?

We made out in front of the world (or the gay world..) and to my surprise the world didn’t end. This strong kiss of his made me blind and deaf, to a point were I barely heard the waiter return with our drinks, and disappear within seconds. I was so blind I forgot to worry if he was going to destroy me later on, I was so blind I didn’t see if he was true or not, if he cared or not. And to my surprise, I didn’t really care anymore.

When we pull away, I can see he isn’t looking at me…he is looking through me, to the entrance door. I slowly drift away from the red head, still half high from that drug.

“I’ll be right back,” he said quickly, shuffling out of the booth and to the object of his gaze. I realize how insane this is getting; he is inches away from being my full time boyfriend. I had said yes to all the questions posed to me, and dismissed all the doubts. All that was left was taking the final plunge. Was I brave enough for that?

I guess I will have to find out.

-

About three beers later (woo party party party!) Reno finally re-appeared looking quite disturbed.

“Cloud, lets go,” he says coldly, while his eyes sang a sad tune.

“What’s wrong?” I ask with a nice slur to my voice. I need to build up a resistance to alcohol, this is ridiculous. He takes my hand, and slowly drags me out of the booth, his eyes dodging my gaze in fear I would find out his secret.

“Lets just go home…”

I dance my fingers across his face, feeling the wetness on his cheeks. The boy has been crying.

"Why were you..."

"I wasn't crying you dope!" Reno laughed, smacking my hand away, "I tried hitting on some guy and he threw his drink in my face."

I laugh despite the fact I knew he was lying through his teeth. His eyes are his greatest enemy- they give him away.

"I see, you are hitting on guys while you are with me. You sure aren't a man ." I say jokingly. Reno flashes be an innocent look, save for the crooked smile dangling from his fine face.

"Oh so NOW you want me to be with you," Reno says, "Well then, I guess that means no more whoring myself."

It must have been the alcohol, mixed with that high feeling that lingered after our kiss, because I took of my clothes and took the plunge! ...Okay I didn't actually take off my clothes but...you know what I mean!

"Yeah, and I guess I will have to stop lying to myself."

We kiss again, for the final time tonight; that high feeling returns with more force, but was mixed with a hazy feeling of regret. I could sense this feeling was coming from the red heads side.

What aren't you telling me Reno?