Home page
previous chap
next chap

Chapter Eight

I think waking up ten minutes before the evil alarm clock rang wasn’t such a bad idea. I was about 20 minutes ahead of the game…so no mother running in to call me a worthless piece of shit- she is still nursing the hangover. I jump in the shower, washing my hair this time (it was starting to smell icky…), and getting dressed in the traditional black clothing. Grabbing some the oh so holy beeswax, I proceeded to spike up my hair; it was starting to seem impossible since my hair has gotten so long…I smell a hair appointment in the near future. I step out of the bathroom and check the clock; it told me 6:10 am.

“Its to early…” I mumble, scratching my hair, “Then again, it is gonna take me forever to get to school…”

The sooner I headed out to school, the sooner I could be out of this place. I had five minutes to get out before my mom walks in half naked (ew) and tells me to hurry my ass up. It maybe a sign of a good day if I don’t have her hounding me as usual. So, without further hesitation…I run out of my house quicker than a bat out of hell. I think I may have heard her loud pitch scream as I exited the jail.

It seems impossible, but it got even colder from yesterday. Once I walk outside I could feel my cheeks flush and my balls freeze. It didn’t help that I am not exactly dressed for the occasion; a button down shirt and black pants aren’t exactly a good choice for winter clothes. Not to mention I look like a member from a bad EMO band.

I walk down the block of my obnoxiously rich neighborhood; the million dollar Halloween decorations dressed the properties for a fake competition. A crisp, cool breeze traveled through my street, picking up the autumn leaves and swirling them into a mini tornado. The trees whispered back when the wind spoke to them, as the wind chimes on my neighbors porches sang a relaxing tune. The whole neighborhood save for the sound of my feet against the hard pavement. Everyone was either well on their way to work or school, or still in a dreamy sleep. I like how autumn bring the silence after a noisy summer; if only it wasn’t so damn cold.

It wasn’t long before I made it to the bus stop. I fondle through my pockets for any quarters to get on the bus; sadly I only have enough to get to school but am stranded after that. Seems I am going to have to hitchhike home. I sigh and look at the bus stop- the bus wasn’t there, but a certain red head was. Now, I know Reno has a car, I was in that said car and no kid from this neighborhood (save for me) would willingly take public transportation so naturally I was curious. I slowly approach the boy, as he stood there kicking small rocks onto the road.

“I though you had a car?” I ask a little to suspiciously.

He looks at me and smiles that crooked annoying smile, as he says, “Why yes, yes I do.”

“Well? Were is it? Or do you like taking the bus?”

“My my, aren’t we suspicious of the new guy?” He laughs right in my face; asshole.

“I am not suspicious,” ha! Not even I believe that, “I am just curious.”

“Heh, my dad has it,” he acts like he was stating the obvious, “Usually he drives a Lexus, but it is in the shop so he took mine into work today.”

A likely answer.

“Plus,” he continues, “as you can see I am not in my Shinra “uniform” so I am not on the job.”

This was actually true; instead of wearing the standard issue white button down shit, black dress jacket and slacks, he was in a black shirt, denim jacket, and jeans. Looks pretty snazzy.

“Why don’t you just hitch a ride with your friends?” I inquire.

“Eh, Rufus is sleeping, Elena doesn’t have a car, Rude leaves too damn early, and who in their right mind would hitch a ride with Hojo?”

Well I can’t blame him there.

“And I can’t ask my mom to drive me because she is having a baby, and she is anal….thus I am stuck here taking the bus…with you it seems.” He smiles a tad wider as he speaks “with you it seems.” Which kind of creeps me out…okay maybe it was cute but…creepy. What are you thinking? Think I swing that way? Well! You may almost slightly possibly be wrong!

“Yeah…whatever.” I guess I disappointed him with my cold response because his smile quickly disappears and he looks away. I feel bad now; what happened to me being nice to him. “Maybe sharing the ride with you will make it bearable.”

“Heh, I thought you already figured out I was annoying as hell,” he jokes, but still refuses to look at me with his pretty green eyes.

“You aren’t as annoying as others that I know,” I respond.

“Well compared to Yuffie, I am a saint,” he laughs softly.

From his body language and almost fake laugh, I could tell he was upset over something. It didn’t take a genius, or someone who knew him for a long time, to read him; he wore his emotions on his sleeve. Now, I am thinking I have caused this, what’s the word, EMO moment; which sucks cause I hate causing EMO moments…they get old pretty fast.

“Did I say something to offend you?” I ask.

He looks up, a confuse look plastered on his face, “No…you didn’t say anything.”

“You seemed upset about something, I thought I did something to offend you,” I continue.

He smirks at me again, placing his hands on his hip. He had a strange look, almost like he was laughing at something- a joke that I wasn’t a part of.

“You wear a mask don’t you?” It is more of a statement than a question, but it was true either way, “You talk as if you are trying to impress someone; like you are at an interview. You are trying to look professional in front of an authority figure, so he doesn’t suspect that in your free time you look at porn or something. You are hiding something from everyone, you are probably even hiding it from yourself. That is why you act cold and distant, that is why you talk without passion; you don’t want anyone to know. So, Strife, what are you hiding?”

I could very well say I don’t know what he is talking about, but the boy already has proven he can see through my mask dressed in lies and fear. Like the neighbors, I wear a mask to keep them from seeing what I am really like- It isn’t like they would understand. I don’t even understand it…I try to push it in the back of my mind, I try to suppress it as much as one boy can. I don’t want to admit it…not again…it’s pointless.

“What are you hiding Reno?” I try desperately to turn the tables, but I know already he can see right through it; hopefully he will lay off.

“I don’t hide it…much,” and that sly smirk gave it away, but that was not what I was hinting to. Though, needless to say it caught me off guard, and I raised an eyebrow in half confusion, half curiosity.

“Hide what?” Weak attempt to act dumb, but whatever…I do not function well early in the morning.

“You like playing the dumb blond I see,” he laughs, “is that another mask? Think everyone will think you are to naïve and stupid to be-”

Don’t say it…

“What’s with those scars!”

I shout loudly to drown out the taboo word, but in the process managed to unleash some of Reno’s demons. I could tell, when his face when pale, and his eye changed to the serious deep green eyes that I hated. Regret…isn’t a very nice feeling.

“I guess I deserved that,” he sighs, looking away again, touching one of the crescent moon scar that tainted his face. “This is what happens when you see something you shouldn’t…”

There is nothing I could say to him; nothing good that is. Half of me felt like he deserved it-he was trying to unleash demons I didn’t want to live wit again- and half felt as if we should both wake up and acknowledge what we dare not say.

“It was after Tseng’s funereal…” his soft voice catches me off guard and I stare almost in disbelief, “I knew already Hojo was in town and Scarlet had her suspicions, so when Lucretia didn’t show up for the funereal we knew something was up. I barged into Lucretia’s house like a maniac- I already knew what was going to happen…but I prayed that I would get their in time. But God never liked me much-maybe because according to his so-called sacred doctrine I am a sinner- he made sure I witnessed evil in its fullest form. I saw Hojo, he had the gun to her head and he was laughing while she was begging for her life. It happened to fast and I couldn’t respond in time. The gun shot was loud and almost shattered my eardrums…

“Then he saw me. I was in shock so I couldn’t move an inch. He grabbed me but the collar and took out the pocket knife he got at boy scouts. ’You always had good eyes Reno, that was your blessing…should your curse.’ He said. He brought up the knife, and slapped me in the face with it. I thought he was trying to fuckin’ make me blind…until he said, ’But I won’t let you block out this memory. Every time you look in the mirror, or some fags cute baby face, you shall always see this…your mistake.’ Then he slapped me with the knife on the other side. Lucky for me, the knife was kind of dull, so it just left little scars…and not much blood was shed.”

He looks at me, almost angry, as if I held a gun to his head and forced him to tell me…okay not a good choice of words. “Now its your turn.”

Just then, the bus pulled up (finally) and opens its cursed doors to suck us into the one way bus to hell. He flashes me smile and says, “I guess luck is one your side Strife…but don’t think you are getting off that easily.”

“So, I am guessing you won’t let me rest until I tell you, correct?” I smile besides myself; dammit, why does this boy have this affect on me…it isn’t very cool!

“Oh, I will make sure you suffer greatly,” he laughs.

We board the bus- he swipes his cool metro card (school issue one no doubt), while I look like a sped dumping my two dollars in quarters down the void. It must have been destiny, or evil forces working against me, but the only seats available on this bus was the two seats all the way in the back. Reno smirks at me, “Well well, how convenient.” This is going to be a long bus trip.

Once comfortably seated in our rather uncomfortable seats, Reno wasted no time in grilling me.

“So, what are you hiding from the world,” he says, smiling a tad to happy for my taste.

“If you know, why do I have to tell you?” I counter. He laughs and slaps my arm to damn hard.

“Come on, remember I am Dr. Reno and I am here to help.”

Help? Clearly he isn’t helping the situation, more like making it even more unbearable. Why oh why does shit like this happen to me- why do crazy people flock to me!

“Were is your degree is psychology?” I joke, “I am not going to spill my guts to someone who doesn’t understand the situation.”

“Oh Cloud, I think I understand the situation more that anyone else,” He says winking at me. Just because he went through something similar, doesn’t mean he understands MY situation. He is right, I can’t go out and tell everyone I may have some kind of infatuation with guys. Ugh, even admitting that makes me cringe. I can’t come to terms with it because I no one, not even my friends, would understand…hell I don’t even understand it. So do I hide my feelings forever? Just be any other closet case out there? Or to I just admit it? And tell everyone who has a problem with it to go fuck themselves.

“Are you a closet case, Reno?” I just have to ask that- he seemed to have no problem implying to it…but he never told me flat out if he was gay.

“Sort a…” he begins, “Everyone my parents know, my grandparents know, all my friends and enemies knew back in California. No one messed around with me, however, cause they knew I could kick their ass. However here, I am keeping it on the down low. The only people who know are Rude and Elena- Hojo thinks I “grew out of it” and Rufus has no idea. OH yeah and you know now.”

He seems very content with that; having one foot in the closet and one foot out. All the open homosexuals I know would rather jump off a cliff before going back into that dark cold closet of their soul. Reno must have had a good reason to hide again when he came here.

“So, you aren’t going to tell anyone else?”

“Don’t ask, don’t tell…that’s my motto. But…I think at this point, if someone asked me…I would lie and say I was straight. I know it sounds stupid-I mean once you are out, your are out- but I would rather Hojo and Rufus not know…and word travels fast in this school.”

No argument there- not a second after Aeries and I broke up everyone knew, and that was during the summer. I understand why he wouldn’t want the two biggest homophobes to know, not to mention if everyone found out the new leader of the turks was screwing guys in his spare time…it would give Shinra a bad reputation. Unfortunately, a reputation is more important than relieving the tormented soul of a fragile teenage boy.

“I take it you are to,” he smooth voice shatters my thoughts, and I almost forget what we are talking about.

“Oh, yeah…I am. I am so far in the closet I don’t even know what I am.”

“Dare I quote Family Guy? You are so far in the closet, you are finding Christmas presents.”

We both laugh and shake our heads at our own stupidity. It seems strange, but I am warming up to the new boy. I mean, sure he is a complete asshole sometimes, and he has this “I know everything attitude“, but I have some qualities that I am sure annoys people so why should I hate him for his.

I have to admit, I am starting to feel comfortable around this Reno. I began to notice this relaxation around him during our car ride-even though it was mostly spent arguing about the whole Aeris and I drama, I felt the urge to just tell him. I could sense he would understand. Then again why repeat what he probably already knew.

The rest of the bus ride was spent getting to know each other better. I told myself I’d give him a chance, and what a chance I was giving him. I even surprised myself with how out of character I was. Then again, now that I mention it, I can remember acting this way when I was trying to get involved with Aeris and…a person who shall remain nameless. It scares me to think I am finally moving on, it scares me more I am moving on and into the arms of a man. I would try to stop myself, but I am having too much fun.

But this fifteen minutes of fun had to end when the doors of the bus open to reveal another kind of hell. It is a silent agreement, but non the lees, we agree that during school we wouldn’t act like we could tolerate each other. I can tell our friends wouldn’t like it so much.

“I’ll see you in physics Strife,” is Reno’s rush goodbye as he bolted from his seat to the company of his so called friends. I don’t think about his final words much as I to slowly exit the bus. Then it hit me- we also share physics together. Yes, I know, it isn’t rocket science…he told me five seconds ago…but I am having a blond day…STOP MOCKING ME!

Physics is hell plain and simple. You are combining math (worse.subject.ever) with science (second worse subject ever) to form the number two cause of death among high school juniors and seniors. For some sick reason my guidance consular thought I was smart enough to handle physics. I haven’t passed a single test this term so the only thing that is going to save my ass is my ability to copy my classmates homework. See…Cloud + Black belt + Scrawny nerd 100 for homework! See I am smart!

However the fact that I won’t use any of this shit in the future isn’t the only thing that makes physics first period unbearable…it’s my teacher.

“OH…MY…GOD!” The chunky Mr. S shouts in a goofy tone, “are my eyes deceiving me or is the ever attentive Cloud Strife gracing us with his presence?”

I scowl at his obnoxiously loud voice and his clear attempt to embarrass me in front of everyone (not that I care). OH how I want to curse him out…

“Whatever, “ is what I manage to push pass the line of “Fuck you”. He cackles like a freakin hyena. Apparently I am extremely funny.

I ignore his laughter and make my way to my lonely seat. We sit in pairs (since you need a partner for experiments and crap) and sadly I was not blessed with a partner, so I have a table meant for two all to myself (and it’s in the back too….score).

The late bell rings angrily telling the delinquent students to get to class A.S.A.P. The sound of the annoying bell also signifies the beginning of this cursed class- a class I didn’t do homework for. I knew from the way Mr. S eyes me he is going to purposely call on me to do a problem. I can smell him plotting my demise as he goes to shut the door.

“Okay class take out you-” Before he could finish his sentence a hand appears blocking the door from slamming shut. Reno peeks his head into the classroom with a rather confuse look plastered his face.

“Am I late or something?” He asks innocently.

“Why yes you are!” Mr. S shouts dramatically, causing everyone to cringe. Someone never taught him how to use an “inside voice” it seems. “BUT, since you are new, I’ll let it slide!”

Reno nods and swiftly makes his way to his seat…which …oh my fuckin’ god is next to me. I swear the heavens are against me! What did I ever do to god? I mean sure, putting all the bibles in the fiction section at Walden Books wasn’t exactly a very nice thing to do…but give me a break!

“Fuck that guy is insane,” Reno whispers to me. I laugh slightly and continue to “do” the do now, now that Mr. S seems to be off my back (and the new kid saves Clouds ass yet again!). “You should have seen him yesterday; he danced! I mean have you ever seen a fat man dance? Now I lived in California but the earthquakes there pale in comparison to this crazy asshole dancing!”

I snort a tad to loudly which causes the entire class to look at me like I am insane. Then again, I am laughing like a buffoon and I never laugh, especially like a buffoon. But it was so true! I can imagine Mr. S dancing, everything shaking and the windows and door rattling uncontrollably. And the way Reno said it adds to its funny factor- shaking his head violently, a slight tremble in his smooth voice…as if he never seen something like that. Oh good times.

Finally, I manage to compose myself enough to notice the shock faces of my classmates and teacher. I glance over at Reno who was holding back his own laughter.

“Um, Cloud, are you alright?” Mr.S says as he inches his way towards the phone to call the guidance consular. I push forth a small yes and return to my do now, completely flushed. I never showed that kind of emotion before in front of anyone…even my family. This Reno guy is defiantly someone strange.

But if you think he is nice, well just forget it! Gym rolls around a view periods later and of course he is in my class (god forbid he isn’t) along with his gang mates Rufus and Hojo. The stand over by the corner, conversing about god knows what and glancing over at the gym teacher every view seconds. I would have probably gone insane with curiosity if Cid and Barrett weren’t in my class…and having a cursing match while this was going on. I eye Reno suspiciously as he makes his way to the gym teacher; little do I know what treason is going on behind my back.

Then the sound of the gym teachers whistle breaks up the cursing match and any other conversations ceased. Mr. Blanchard- the fifty something year old who doesn’t know he is white- announces which much enthusiasm “Dodge ball.”

Everyone with a y chromosome (which is everyone in the class) began to cheer and job around, making other obscene noises. I, however, hate that stupid game and always have since Sephiroth broke my arm in the eighth grade. You know, I think he purposely did it that scoundrel…just wait until next week when I get my sword back you…

“Captians,” Mr. Blanchard begins, “Rufus Shinra and Cloud Strife.”

Oh beautiful! Not only are we playing the single worse “sport” in the history of sports, but I get to be a captain. Oh goody goody gum drops, hot diddly damn! Good thing I already know who is going to be on my team; Cid and Barrett no doubt. I look over at Rufus, he to has his top two players; Reno and Hojo. This wasn’t going to end well.

With the teams made up, the balls in place (tee hee), the whistle was blown and the game begins! The ten years I have spent playing Nintendo have really improve my hand eye coordination as I dodge every ball thrown at me, and aim just precisely to inflict damage. Luckily my brainless teacher was too busy shooting the breeze with some basketball players who snuck in to care who was getting hurt.

I didn’t care until I look over to see Cid getting bashed in the arm by Hojo, but not before hitting prissy boots Rufus on his fragile leg. Barrett made sure he got Hojo back on Cid’s behalf by getting Hojo in the stomach-nice! To bad only seconds later Barrett was also out due to a awful hit to the back. (ow).

It seemed like forever by in 10 minutes there was only Reno and I standing untouched by the balls that had threaten us.

“My my,” Reno began, “Guess I should have known you were good at dodging balls…you have been doing it all your life.”

Oh a gay joke, how nice…

“You are a good catch, though I wouldn’t expect any less from California’s biggest man whore.”

And Thank you Vincent.

“Sorry I am so irresistible!”

“I beg to differ.”

We exchange sly grins and rush to any ball that were closest. I grab the ball nearest to me and in a swift second…

We end up in the nurses office…which a nice cold icepack on our bruise heads.

“Nice going Strife,” Reno laugh, “got us out of the gym!”

I roll my blue eyes, “I would have rather done without the pain.”

He laughs gently as he quietly puts his hand on my shoulder. I look down on the alien hand with no apprehension, which was something I wouldn’t have done if the circumstances were different.

“I’m sorry,” he says, “I didn’t mean that crack about dodging balls. I had to put on a show of course.”

“Yeah…I know. I am….” say it Cloud, “Sorry to…because I meant that crack about being a man whore.” Okay, not ask sincere as Reno probably would have liked but, I refuse to take that back.

“Ha, seems Vincent is still good at his job,” Reno laughs again, this time it was forced. “I guess I deserved that. I wasn’t exactly very understanding earlier today with my drilling. If anyone should know what you are going through its me…I was a huge closet case.”

I peeked over at the nurse who seems to busy tending to another victim to care about mine and Reno’s conversation…so I went on. “So you to hid behind a mask…”

“If you knew my parents you would understand,” he says in the grimmest tone I ever heard escape from his lips, “They wanted me to be perfect and I am not. I remember when I told them, my mom broke down to the point where she threw up all over herself. My dad instead locked himself in his room for a couple of hours.”

Reno sighs, taking his hand that laid on my shoulder and moves it to my own hand. I see his eyes no longer laid upon me, but the absence of the nurse and her patient. I narrow my eyes at the cute red head suspiciously- something about his motives this entire day made me wonder…

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were hitting on me,” I accuse. To my displeasure the boy just laughs, his eyes never leaving the empty space, as he dances his fingers into the spaces between my fingers.

“Oh Strife,” he cackles, “You would know if I was hitting on you…”

“Oh and how would I know?”

“Because…I would do something like this..”

It happens so fast I barely had time to prepare for his advance, though it didn’t change how amazing it felt. His warm lips collided with my apprehensive ones into a soft, pleasant, kiss. I knew if this was a different person, I know if it was anyone else, I would have violently pushed them away and proceed to kick their ass. But this boy, Reno, he was different, he was special. I knew from the first time we talked he knew…

Oh shit I am starting to sound sappy as hell.

But it was good…it was right.

We pull away only an inch and stare at each other, my lips still tingling from their encounter with his heavenly ones.

“You were afraid ,” he says with a hint of embarrassment hidden in his soft, trembling voice.

“I was shocked…”I correct, “But it’s okay.”

“Will it always be okay…?”

Will I let myself be dragged into another relationship with a man?

Will I let myself be tortured by the burning eyes of disapproving people?

Will I be afraid, happy, sad, scared, excited all at the same time?

Will I dive into a relationship with someone I have only known for a day?

Will I accept all the risk involved?

Am I going completely insane?

“Yes…”