Chapter 28
Cloud
It looked like a nightmare. The door to Sephiroth’s house was once a stain glass window that stood proudly, shining against the little sun that crept passed the huge trees. Now the door was cracked, dead, no light from within or outside bounced off its broken shards. No one ever noticed this house- this house on the edge of the neighborhood- it was a tall, dark, house, covered by the trees. When Sephiroth moved in, no one noticed- not until he walked outside one day without any shoes on. That’s when we discovered the house was owned by a very big Manhattan lawyer and his new wife and step child. That’s all we knew about his family- that’s all we ever knew. We saw the lawyer once, once, and never again. They never attended parties, they never had people over, hell if it wasn’t for the fact that Sephiroth hung out with the us, we would have assumed the whole family was dead. I guess in some ways they were.
I took a breath, and gently knocked on the door…only to have it open on contact. They were probably the only New Yorkers who left their doors unlocked- they weren’t afraid of the dangers on the outside…I guess because the danger was on the inside. I knew every fiber of my being was telling me that going in was a bad idea…it was like a bad horror movie when the stupid character goes into the strange house and ends up getting his head busted opened by an axe…but I knew I couldn’t get any answers without going to killer himself.
The house on the inside was as dark as it was on the outside. There was not a single light on- only cloudy light seeped into the room through the little windows. There was almost no furniture, just a lot of rugs and pictures that added to the creepiness of the entire place. I stumbled over a small end table that was randomly placed in the hall way. It rattled, shaking a picture frame that had one of those “model family” pictures in it. My eyebrows knitted together as I cautiously took the picture frame and brought it closer- it was a fake family…hell you can even see the Macy’s logo on the edge of the picture. That’s when I took notice to the other pictures- all different families, all fake families…no pictures of the people who actually lived in this house (if anyone lived there).
I placed the frame back on the end table, and continued down the coffin like hallway I found myself in. I followed some faint rock music that seemed to draw me towards a wooden staircase that was barely standing. I looked up the stair case, trying to see and hear anything out of the ordinary…then a strange melody caught my ear…
I swung around, and saw a sparkling black curtain separating a room that looked like a kitchen…there a saw what looked like a woman. She was sitting in a rocking chair, her back towards me, rocking back and forth with a tune escaping her lips…
“Hush little baby, don’t you cry,” she whispered hoarsely, “mammas gonna buy you a mocking bird….”
She repeated the line…over and over and over again…as if she was broken record, turning on and on because of some hidden drive to keep going- to keep singing. That song; that song mothers sang to their babies to put them to sleep. That song that meant protection and love…
“Hush little baby, don’t you cry, mammas gonna buy you a mocking bird…”
It seemed so dark…
“Excuse me,” I foolishly called out, “Is…Sephiroth home?”
The rocking and singing suddenly came to a dramatic halt. A heavy silence overtook the house…and a knot started to form in my stomach. I wanted to run, but I couldn’t move if I wanted to- I don’t even remember breathing. She turned a little, so I could see her profile through the curtain. The black hair covered her eyes…black hair like the woman in my dream…but I could see…I could see her bright light blue eye stare at me with interest. She was looking right into my soul…
A creaking from upstairs caught my attention, dragging me away from the sight of the woman, and up the stairs. The door that was closes to the stairs was wide open, and I could see the shadow of Sephiroth…
The singing began once again…
I walked up the stairs, keeping a close watch on Sephiroth. We stared into each other’s eyes, yellow fury mixed with blue confusion, and he silently assured me he wouldn’t attack. I finally made it to the top of the stairs…where we stood only a few feet apart…
I could have killed him…
“Cloud,” he said coldly.
“Sephiroth,” I responded with an equally cold chill to my voice.
“Come in…” he walked into his room, taking a seat on his bed. I swallowed back the fear that was building in my throat, and without a second thought walked into his room. There I was, face to face with Aeris’ murderer, and the man who tried to destroy my entire life.
“Why?” I asked with venom laced in my voice, “Why all of this? Why? Because I’m your brother!”
He sprung up from the bed, and with lighting face speed, was in my face- his yellow eyes burned into my very soul…so filled with rage and hatred. “You…are not my brother,” he sneered, “You are just the product of two human’s stupidity and sin. You are nothing more than scum.”
I could see the resemblance now- we shared the same features, from the way our eyes narrowed, to how our fists clenched ready to fight. We had the same attitude, his was just deadlier. I could see it now; I could see how it was true.
“Regardless…” I hissed, “How did…how did everything end up the way it did?”
He didn’t move from his position- but I could see his anger begin to flow violently within him. He was an active volcano, and anything was going to cause him to erupt. But he didn’t this time; he calmed down enough to tell me…to tell me my true story. He suppressed his anger, and stomped over to the outside of the room…
He looked outside the window, at the now covered trees that hid his house from the rest of the world. “Once upon a time,” he began slowly, “my mother fucked your father a month after she gave birth to me….”
--
Sephiroth’s Point of View
My mother and father weren’t rich people- they lived in the projects below this neighborhood. My mother told me is was like they were constantly being mocked by the big houses with the big back yards, while they had to sleep in a one bedroom apartment. My father tried his hardest to put food on the table apparently, but without a college education the only job he could get was cleaning up after hours at a deli. My mother decided to help out, and became a cleaning lady for the rich folk- back when her hair was blonde…much like yours. She worked all day and night for anyone who would pay her- they all treated her like a piece of trash, and acted as if they were better than her…
They were the scum, not her- not back then at least.
Even when she was pregnant with me, she tried to work. Well, they forced her to work- called her up and demanded she come in or else they would black list her. Pregnant or not, they didn’t care. Except on family…
Derek and Eva Strife, newly weds…they had to be about twenty-two at the time. They were young and naïve…but they were the only people in that place with hearts not yet turned to stone. They took my mother in- made her their exclusive maid. However once they found out she was pregnant, they forced her not to work, and instead go on paid leave. They paid my mother big just to sit at home and take care of the growing child. I guess they sympathized, because Eva couldn’t have children due to a car accident a couple of years back. Oh, how kind they were to my mother, especially Mr. Strife. Especially…Mr. Strife. My mother…my mother spent too much time in that neighborhood…and soon her own heart turned into stone. She no longer cared about who she hurt, as long as she got what she wanted. Well she wanted Mr. Strife.
Ha…she gave birth to me on January 13, 1988, and by January 15 she had him in her bed…giving her the best orgasm of her life. I don’t know why he was so easily seduced by her- I guess he wanted to know what I real woman felt like. Well, sex always come with consequences, and you where their punishment.
She became pregnant a month after I was born. My father found out- he knew it wasn’t his…since you have to have sex to spawn children. She begged him not to leave, and for a while he didn’t. She abruptly stopped working at the Strife’s residence, and even avoided upper class neighborhoods for the duration of her pregnancy. She neglected me…she ignored my cries for attention. She just swayed back and forth singing that obnoxious song over and over again. Oh she cared about the bastard child that was growing in her more than the little boy that begged and pleaded for love. I was the one bore out of love, not you!
One day, out of no where, my loving, hard working father got fed up with her…and shoved her down the stairs. You didn’t die…sadly…instead she went into labor- six months into her pregnancy. A neighbor rushed her to the hospital where she gave birth to a baby boy, two pounds three ounces, on August 13th 1988. Thanks to modern technology and some fucked up miracle, you survived with the help of machines. Of course this costs money…so my mother contacted your father, and demanded he come to the hospital…
Once he saw you…your little barely living body and forked over any money he could to make sure your heart kept beating, and your brain worked fine. He cared about you so much…and you were nothing more than just a curse upon his household.
My father left, resentful, hateful. I never met the man. But he had to be some kind of selfish fuck to abandon his only son.
Your father continued to pay up to ensure his wife never heard of you…or of the affair. Deep down, he was more concerned with preserving his reputation in the neighborhood, than ensuring his son had a good life. He put us up in a better looking apartment, he paid for everything, even groceries, and even occasionally he would visit and bring us toys. But he always paid more attention to you- the sick one. You were so fucking weak Cloud! Couldn’t even breathe sometimes…
Once I was able to move, I brought it upon myself to make sure you toughened up. I would hit you, smack you, bit you. And you would whine and scream and cry like a child. Mother would sometimes run in and smack us both, sometimes just me, sometimes just you. Mostly me- she gave you the love, she left me to rot. She had issues this woman…her heart was stone. She loved you because of what you could do for her…
I remember it like it was yesterday, what finally changed everything…
We were three, and mother took us to the part. You were running around trying to play with this little red headed boy, but he kept kissing you and running away. No wonder you a fucking fag.
I knew that behavior was wrong, so I walked up to you, and pushed you on the floor. You scraped your knee and started to cry like a baby again. The stupid wound wasn’t even bleeding and yet you cried as if blood was gushing out. That’s when some woman with long brown hair came rushing over, bending down to make sure you were okay…
She blew on your wound, soothing it with her motherly instincts. You started to giggle like a little girl, he reached up for her to hold you. You didn’t even fucking know her and already you wanted her affection! Didn’t you get enough from our mother!
Apparently not…
And she obliged. She scooped you up, while whispering sweet words into your ears. That’s when she noticed your big blue eyes and how they resembled her husbands so much. She was only twenty five, but she wasn’t an idiot. She put all the pieces to the puzzles together- the missing money, her husband’s long “walks”, and now the child who looked like him. The next thing she noticed was the bruises mother and I gave you…
Before she could react, mother snatched your frail body out of her hands, screaming random curses at her…
“Jenova,” Eva Strife shouted, “What are you doing to him!”
Eva tried to grab you, but my mother used all her strength to push her back against a tree.
“My son,” she yelled, “my boy!”
“No,” Eva shook her head, “You won’t keep him! Over my dead fucking body!”
It didn’t take long, thanks to money and your mothers constant nagging apparently, before lawyers and cops flooded our apartment. Her father ran in like a maniac, searching for you, and only you. Once you saw him, you ran to him, your arms opened wide…begging him to rescue. He did, and walked out with you despite my mother’s constant clawing and begging and cursing….
-
Cloud’s POV
“I blocked those memories for years…or I tried too. My mother made sure I knew how hideous and evil the rich were; though within two years we were living in the same neighborhood where she met your father. She told me they were sinful, they were greedy, and they deserved the fire of hell. She beat me with the bible every chance she got, and she forced me to take Karate and kickboxing. She kept telling me about this boy I was supposed to destroy…”
I wanted to puke- so much information being tossed at me, too quickly. And worse of all, oh worse of all, he was right. I was the product of two human’s stupid mistake. I was a bastard at the lowest form. I was used for money, to get whatever Jenova, my mother, wanted. I was in the middle of a fierce legal battle between two mothers who desperately wanted me…wanted me for no other reason than what I could give them. I grabbed the wall for support, trying not to faltered, but it was so hard to even stand up.
It explained everything….
“Cloud,” Sephiroth snapped, drawing me away from my thoughts, “I have to destroy you…”
“Why,” I managed to spit out, “Why me? Why me!”
“Because…” he smiled, “You are everything I hate. You are everything they hate. You are a flipping faggot who tore up a family thanks to his fucking birth, and who lives among people who he hates because THEY, my friend, are everything you hate about yourself! You are the embodiment of my hatred, and you have to be destroyed!”
I clenched my fist, attempting to keep my cool but it was getting harder, “Why Aeris then? What did she do…”
He laughed evilly, “She was just a pawn in the plan. This was all my idea Cloud. Reno, Shinra, Aeris, and even you, were all my little pawns. I control you! I am your fucking God!”
Sephiroth started a wave of cackles, grabbing his stomach and smacking his knee. His eyes glimmered with excitement, happiness…he even tripped over his excitement and fell to the floor, still laughing…still laughing at me. My foolishness…my mistake…my curse…I was too be punished for what society did to me, to him, to us.
“When?” Still clutching the wall, I headed for the door, “When do you want to destroy me?”
“Tomorrow,” he cackled, “Six at night…that was the hour you were born…it will be the hour you die.”
I glared at him once last time, and though I didn’t believe it myself, I hissed, “Don’t count on it…”
--
I ran out of the house like a maniac, suddenly feeling like I actually belonged in that dark, horrible, prison. I stumbled along the side walk like a drunk, my mind swirling with a million and one thoughts, and memories that I didn’t even know I had. I couldn’t make sense of it all- did my parents really love me because I gave them something they couldn’t have, or did they love me because it was convenient for them. Most of all, who was I? Was I their son, was I a mistake, was I even real anymore. I suddenly felt this sense of emptiness overwhelm me, along with the sick to my stomach sensation. I wanted to throw up…I wanted to start over….
Fuck I didn’t know what the hell a wanted.
I almost just collapsed on the floor, with I felt someone’s body collide with mine. Arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me close to the strange body that begged for the same kind of love I needed. I looked down, and saw a forest of red graze against my neck. I almost forgot who the owner of this affection was- then I noticed the ring on my finger…things began to make some sense…
“Reno,” I coughed, “Reno I can’t breathe.”
He quickly pulled away, holding his hands up as if my coldness injured him. He smiled cautiously, looking at me with warm green eyes…attempting to melt my sudden frozen heart. I couldn’t do much; I just shook my head and collapsed to my knees…
The weight of the world finally began to suffocate me…and tears sprung from my eyes carelessly, and without any hope of stopping. I felt so weak and powerless against this villain…this villain that shared my blood- my brother…
I could feel his hatred surge through my own body, attacking me relentlessly already, as if to break me down before the actual fight. I couldn’t do it, I could feel it. I was a weak little boy who spilled his own blood over break ups, who refused to admit his own flaws for fear of how others would react. I was the hypocrite, I was the people I hated- he was right, he was fucking right about everything…
He knew me…he knew me better than I could ever hope to know myself.
Then a voice called for me through the darkness… “Get the fuck up…” he yelled.
I looked up, puzzled, at my boyfriend…whose eyes were an angry green color. I shook my head, and begged him to just give up…leave me to die. I was nothing, “I am nothing,” I couldn’t even pick myself up off the floor, “how can I be expected to fight?” I was weak, “I am weak.”
His rough hands grabbed my shoulders, and he shook me hard, “Get up you son of a bitch, get the fuck up.” I could feel his own soul begin to waver, begin to give up on him. He continued to shake me, to wake me from the darkness that had suddenly taken me over, but all I could do was cry harder.
He finally stopped, and collapsed to his knees with me…he hands cupped my face, and forced my reluctant eyes to look at him. The tears began to swell in his gorgeous green orbs, as his body slowly gave up on him.
“You’re my rock,” he suddenly said, “I need you to keep me strong. If you fall I will fall. Cloud Strife if you die on me, I will. You can’t do this, not yet, not when it’s almost over babe.” He buried his head in the crook of my neck, grabbing my hand and squeezing it to transfer his strength into me. I could sense the people staring at us all of a sudden, and my eyes danced from our conjoined hands, to the where I thought the people where…but…
All I saw were two little boys playing tag- one with unruly blonde hair, and the other with short red hair, that covered his green eyes.
The bile went away…and replaced with memories that I choose long ago to forget amount…
There was a little boy in this neighborhood…who became my only friend when I had no one else. This little boy called me a cry baby, made fun of me, and when I was really down, he kissed me on the cheek. Of course he didn’t know what he was doing- he was just a little three year old, and I was just a silly little boy who needed all the love and support he could get.
Then he left…without a word. I forgot about him because I was three and couldn’t hold a memory. That boy…I was holding in my shaking arms as he begged me to be strong…be strong for the both of us.
The little boys playing tag disappeared into the cold wind, blowing away from my sight as quickly as it came. Through my tears and desperation, and smiled against Reno’s head, allowing his soft red hair caress my wet face. My fingers played with the little silver ring that decorated his ring finger, twirling it around his finger playfully. I don’t know what I was getting at- I think I was having a nervous breakdown or something…but it felt good. It felt like something. I wasn’t dead, my body was surging with so many conflicting feelings, but despite that, my smiled remained plastered on my face…
“I’ll try,” was all I could muster up, “I will try for you, Reno…”
His tears finally stopped flowing, and his body lay calmly in my embrace. The cold wind slapped against our wet faces, and woke us up from the hell we allowed ourselves to be drowned in. I would not dare to say we were okay- hell no- you have to be some kind of insane to do what we did next, but we were strong enough to pick ourselves up from the dirty floor.
We looked into each others bloodshot eyes, suddenly laughing at how pathetic were had become. But it was justifiable. We needed to let it out…I needed to remember…
I needed to remember what I was fighting for: My right to live in this world.