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Chapter 24

5 am…

That was the earliest I had ever woken up. Maybe it was the anticipation of facing my classmates as an open homosexual, or the growing fear for my life…or maybe it was as simple as teenage lust. There was my boyfriend, only a wall separating us…and I couldn’t see him. My parents had continued to make it very clear, that he and I were not to sleep in the same room. I don’t know what the were trying to protect- I mean, two guys can get each other pregnant, so their would be no worry of that…and I knew Reno wouldn’t have put me at risk for an STD, even if he was on a mission. I guess they just didn’t want to hear their son having sex with another boy…hell, I don’t think I would want to hear that. Still…it was very irritating.

So, after my dad was safely out of the house, I walked to Reno’s room, and lingered outside his door. As I soon out there, staring into the harsh eyes of the wooden door, everything hit me. I hadn’t noticed, but for the past few days…I had been holding everything in…and though I now knew the extent of the danger I was in, and understand the hurt my boyfriend was going to, I didn’t snap. I just exhaled…and the troubles leveled out.

This too shall past…what doesn’t kill me will only make me stronger.

I know those are clichés…and when I was younger, I scoffed at those phrases adults would throw at me when I was frustrated. I guess now I know the truth behind them. Maybe I am finally growing up.

Amazing isn’t it.

I took another deep breath, and softly knocked on the wooden door.

“Reno,” I whispered, “can I come in.”

A deep grunt was my signal to enter. I cursed myself with a laugh, for waking up my boyfriend. He probably has the devil crawling on his back now; he won’t be pleasant to see. Ah, but I can’t go on without seeing him, not when he is so close, I could touch him.

I walked into his room, taking in the beautiful sight of my half awake boyfriends limp body covered in pure white sheets; a dim darkness still casting a soft shadow along his smooth face. I shut the door behind me, just in case my mother happened to walk by, and joined Reno in his bed.

Before I could even lay my body into the bed, he clung to me, as if I was his life support.

“You okay babe?” I asked, running my fingers through his thin hair.

“Fucker,” he mumbled into my chest, “Let’s call in sick today, and just lay here…”

I laughed sadly, “Yeah, wouldn’t that be nice.”

Yeah, it would have been nice to hide in this room, under the pure white sheets, and let everyone all our problems linger outside the door. Of course, we could never do that…it would be to easy, and we would once again be running away- and the faster you run, the quicker your problems catch up with you. I am not saying the next few days are going to be easy…or even the next few years, but it was better to endure the pain, than letting it fester within ourselves.

I looked at the clock again…its evil bright red numbers told me 5:05 am. We still had an hour before we had to get ready for school. I wrapped my arms around Reno tightly, and eased our worn bodies into the bed, allowing sleep to once against claim us…

“When you get up,” he whispered, “brush your fuckin teeth, your breath smells of a dead fuckin rat.”

Oh how romantic he is in the morning…

-

When I was younger, about six or seven, I used to have nightmares…bad nightmares, of a woman, with long raven like hair, grabbing a hold of my wrist and squeezing it until it snapped. It felt so real, I would wake up screaming, a stinging pain eating away at my wrist. I sometimes would ask my parents what it meant…

They would smile and say it wasn’t real…that I had been watching too much TV..

Yeah because watching Barney really screws with your head, right?

But eventually the nightmares stopped, and I forgot all about that scary lady who tried to hurt me. I don’t know what made me think of that woman during that early morning nap…maybe she is a symbol for all the problems I had been facing…

But there was something so familiar about the raven haired woman with the glowing blue eyes…she looked a lot like…

-

“Cloud, honey, it’s time to get up.” My mothers soothing voice snapped me away from that obnoxious dream, before I had time to really analyze it.

I opened a single blue eye, “What time is it?”

She smiled at me from across the room, “it’s six thirty…I let you guys sleep. I will take you to school.”

“We have to pick up Vincent,” I mumbled.

“No problem.” She sounded way to freaking cheerful. It was starting to weird me out.

“You sound happy…you get laid or something.”

She didn’t answer…so I sat up and stared at her- she had a wicked smile plastered on her face, and her normally cold gray eyes were sparkling against the now risen sun. “Oh no you didn’t,” I twitched, “you and dad…”

“Well, I am only thirty-eight; I’m not dead yet.” And with a smile and skip, she pranced out of the room…leaving me with the horrible image…oh I can’t even say it.

“Wow,” Reno sat up, fully awake, “she’s pretty young…”

I eyed his suspiciously, “Why?”

“I mean…that means she had you at twenty-one…when did your parents get married?”

“Uhh, fourteen years,” I said nonchalantly, untangling myself from the sheets.

“That means you were three when they got married…”

I quirked a brow, and looked at my boyfriend; a confused look plastered on his face. Three…I remember my parents wedding video- I was no were in site. My parents never talked about how they met, or their wedding, or how old they were when all this occurred. Hell they never talked about their current age, or even have birthdays. Why would they be so secretive…

“Oh,” I shrugged, “perhaps I was…”

There could be a logical explanation for all of that…maybe I was sick or something…yeah.

“Oh…well…at least you have young parents,” Reno laughed, “My parents are old and don’t understand me.”

“Yeah…” Why wouldn’t I be in their wedding…

-

As we neared my car, I started to have doubts about this…walking into school as an open gay man. There was no reason to hide from it, sure, but I didn’t want to deal with the immature, and ignorant comments that were going to come out of my peers mouths. I was so wound up, I was going to punch the first schmuck that called me a fag. Not to mention, I didn’t know if anyone was going to back me up- I mean sure, Barret, Vincent, and Cid said they had no problem with my sexuality- and they haven’t treated me any different- but now that it’s public knowledge their friend is gay…they could suddenly change to keep their own reputation clean. This school was all about reputation…perhaps they were that low, they would abandon me…

Maybe I wasn’t giving them enough credit. They had always backed me up no matter what; why would this be any different?

“Nervous?” Reno asked from the back.

I watched the frosted trees zoom past my window, jealous of their still position- never did they have to face an army of hatred. “I’m fine…” I lied, but Reno saw through that.

“Sure...everyone’s just fine when they are about to take that first step out of the closest.”

“Mocking me Reno?” I turned and glared at him, “Are you going to run away, like always?”

Before he could make a snappy response, my mother interjected. “Come on, you two. You need to stop fighting! You have to be there for one another now…that’s what a couple does.”

She was right, for once…if my friends did abandon me, Reno would be the only person I had to back me up.

I had to back him up…he had no one already.

“Sorry, babe,” I groaned, sinking into the seat, and staring out the windshield- trying to loose myself again in the beauty of the frozen trees.

“Yeah, I’m sorry too…”

We pulled up in front of Vincent’s apartment complex, and to my surprise, I saw my vampire friend standing in the cold, with a spicy blonde clinging to his arm.

“No way, Elena?” Reno twitched, “What she doing here.”

“Well they are going out,” I said, “I guess they go to school together now…”

The door back door flung open, “Reno! What are you doing here!”

My eye twitched at Elena’s…beautiful…voice, as Reno narrowed his eyes into an evil glare.

“Well he is my BOYFRIEND,” Reno scoffed, “What are YOU doing here?”

“Vincent’s MY boyfriend,” she jumped into the car, Vincent silently on her tail, and she continued her verbal assault on…MY…boyfriend, “Aren’t you supposed to be hiding in your room like a cowardly…coward.”

“For your information, my stupid friend, I was kicked out of my house-“

“Oh how nice, thanks for calling and keeping me up to date with your life!”

“I would call, if you weren’t such a crazy bitch!”

“I’m a bitch!”

“Yes I believe I just said that!”

You know, suicide was beginning to look rather nice- I mean, yeah, I said I grew out that…but when you are stuck in a moving car with a permanently menstruating chick, and a pissy gay man, then you will understand this sudden urge to jump out of the said moving vehicle. I think Vincent was having the same idea as I…from the groan that echoed from his mouth.

“Vincent,” I called out, over the rabid children’s screams, “How are you?”

“You know,” he sighed, “You and I should be having almost the same conversation…”

I looked at him through rear view mirror, “Oh?”

“Why haven’t you called?”

If Cid was my surrogate father, Vincent would probably be my mother. He was constantly making sure I was okay, especially after my small brushed with death at his apartment. And yes, he was completely in the right to be worried…but I was wasting my phone minutes calling him ever two seconds to tell him that I was, in fact, alive.

“Haven’t had the time…” It wasn’t a lie, though Vincent would say I should have made the effort anyway.

“Should have made the time.” See, I’m a fuckin psychic! “Everyone knows you know…”

I sighed and sunk into the chair…this was probably the second time I was hearing this fact. It only made me want to run away from my problems more. “Everyone knows.” And not because I wanted them to know…but because some asshole thought it fit to use this against me…

“I know, everyone knows…” I snapped, “I’m not going to deny it anymore…”

I closed my eyes and try to drown myself in the smooth sounds of the outside world- the cars, the wind, the children playing their games outside the elementary schools. I envied those children, and the freedom they possessed. They didn’t have the wake up every morning, to a world filled with ignorance…because in a sense, they were ignorant to the world’s problems. They didn’t have to worry about being gay, or straight, and the only deep dark secret they had to worry about was that they ate a worm last week. I wish I was like them…I wish I just didn’t have to care at all…

Maybe then I could be happy. But that is just a childish dream…a selfish dream.

We pulled up in front of the school, and already I could feel the eyes of judgment baring down on me. The few students that were outside of the school started whispering to each other, their eyes focused on my form in the car. Oh they knew…I could tell from their disgusted looks.

“It’s going to be okay,” my mom said, “if you need me though, call me, and I’ll pick you up.”

At least I had a ride home in case anything happened, but I knew I couldn’t be a coward about this; I had to face everyone, despite my reservations towards it. I jumped out of the car, and took one last look at my mom…she smiled at me, a real smile… “You’ll be okay, you are my son.”

I was praying she was right…

-

The four of us walked down the second floor hall- now that the schedules changed, I had English first with Reno and Vincent…Elena was just tagging along for the hell of it- no one really said anything to my face…but everyone had the same thing on their minds. I could almost hear their thoughts echo through the halls as I past them…

“I saw a picture of him kissing another guy!”

“Yeah, I kind of figured he was gay…I mean look at how he dresses!”

“I bet Johnny is pissed off that a faggot kicked his ass last week!”

“Isn’t that Reno from Shinra? What’s he doing with that faggot!’

Maybe it was all in my head, and I was just being paranoid...but I was afraid…nevertheless.

We came upon my locker…and there was the beautiful beginning to my demise. There on my locker, in bright red letters…was “faggot,” and a picture of me swapping spit with a nameless man.

“Photoshop,” Vincent mumbled.

“Hojo did it,” Elena groaned, “he was bragging about it to Rufus.”

So they won’t stop their torture on me? Haven’t the caused enough damage! Oh who am I kidding, this is “Shinra” they don’t stop when they are ahead, they don’t ever fuckin stop. It’s like this is their drug…ruining people- making high school even more unbearable.

Reno’s thin hand ripped the picture from it’s place on the locker, and destroyed it. “I am more than just a fuckin nameless man.” He whipped out one of the pictures of us…the one where he was licking my cheek…and tapped it to my locker…

“What the fuck are you doing,” I shouted, only earning an annoying laugh from Reno’s side.

“It’s done Cloud…we might as well play along right?”

Elena slapped his back, “And then when you turn up in a ditch, beaten to death, then it will be all fun and games.

“No, cause I would be dead…”

“You are such an idiot!”

Perhaps Reno was an idiot, but I saw his point- what’s done is done, and pretending it doesn’t exist won’t do anything except make everything worse. This little set back wouldn’t last long- news in high school travels fast- I would be yesterdays news in a couple of days…and they will all move on to the next poor schmo…

“Spiky!” I looked down the hall to see Cid and Tifa walking over to me…well actually Tifa was running. She threw her thin arms around my neck, and clung to me like a fuckin magnet.

“Oh Cloud!” She cried, “This is so horrible! Those stupid Shinra assholes! I will kick all their asses when I see them, those sons of bitches!”

“Uhh Tifa,” I chuckled, “Turn around.”

She eyed me suspiciously, and turned around slowly…only to be met with the amused face of Reno, and the angry face of Elena.

“Sons of bitches?” Elena hissed.

“Oh sorry,” Tifa mocked, “I mean daughters of bitches.”

“That makes no sense,” Elena rolled her blue orbs and clung to Vincent.

“It makes as much sense as that hideous outfit you are wearing.”

“At least I wear clothes! Did you forget yours on the way here?”

Though watching Tifa and Elena exchange fighting words was mildly entertaining, I feared a cat fight would only draw more attention to me than I needed. So, I grabbed my boyfriend’s hand, and escorted ourselves down the hall to our classroom, and away from the growing fight. What? Expect me to break that up? I do enjoy life, thank you.

We were half way down the hall when Cid stopped me, “we have to talk.”

I never liked those words, especially coming from him. I leaned against the wall, “Well?”

“You are acting careless,” he said, eying Reno and mine conjoined hands, “You want to get jumped by some of those assholes?”

“What do you want me to do? Act like it isn’t true? Cause everyone already knows, there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“Well you don’t have to suddenly change; why can’t you act like you’ve always acted.”

“Aren’t I doing that? I haven’t changed; I am the same Cloud I was before this whole thing happened.”

“I just don’t want you to rush things…”

I figured Cid would be the one I would have problems with… “Does this have to do with your own homophobia?”

“No, I don’t fuckin care what goes on in your bedroom; I just don’t want to fuckin pull you out of a ditch!”

Though his concern for my wellbeing was sincere- and though, in a sense, he had the right to worry about me- he was still like the parent I didn’t want to listen to. I was going to do what I thought was right, not what everyone deemed acceptable. Call me stupid, but I am stubborn as a mule.

“Thanks for you’re concern-“

“But you are going to do what you want to do right?” He sighed, shrugging his shoulders, “Just be careful okay.”

I nodded, and Reno and I walked into our classroom now that the late bell had started to screech. Upon walking in, my eyes laid themselves on the form of Rufus Shinra…his head buried in his hands, mumbling illogical phrases that seemed to only make sense to him. I looked at my boyfriend, who just shrugged his shoulders…

“Can we sit by him?”

My eyes went wide at his request, “Him? But…look what he did to us-“

“I know but…he has been going through some stuff- I think you would understand.”

He didn’t wait for any further objection by me; he literally dragged me over to the back where Rufus sat. I could faintly here the words that were coming out of his mouth- “this is getting out of hand…why can’t I stop it!” We stood in front of him in silence, waiting for him to either notice us, or for the teacher to yell at us to take our seats.

“Rufus?” Reno finally said, “You okay buddy.”

Rufus looked up at us, “What do you assholes want?”

Oh wow, isn’t he a pleasant son of a bitch- it only made me want to knock his teeth out even more. But Reno was being all “nice” and restrained me from splitting Rufus’ head open.

“What’s your damage?” Reno scoffed, “I was trying to be nice.”

“I have a lot on my mind…”

“Well I guess there is a first time for everything,” I chuckled, earning a glare for Rufus and a slap from Reno. Well, at least I thought it was funny.

“It’s Shinra business,” Rufus sighed, “It isn’t going as plan, Sinclair- I think I have you to blame for that.”

Reno smirked at his boss, “My job was to seduce my lovely boyfriend over here…once I completed that job I was free to do as I please-those were the terms we agreed on.”

“Don’t act as if you don’t know the damage you just caused,” Rufus snapped, “Our client…will not be pleased…”

“What could he possibly do? We rule this school, you know that.”

Rufus merely shook his head, “You are ignorant.”

“And excuse me, if I wasn’t going to stand idly by and watch someone die-or get hurt- again.”

I stayed in the shadows long enough- now I needed to know what was going on. I knew someone wanted me dead, and Aeris has already spelled it out it was my old rival…but I wanted to know why. And I wanted to know what Reno did that made the blonde hair leader so frantic- what was this ass so afraid of? With these questions screaming in my head, I shook Reno’s shoulder to get his, and Rufus’ attention.

“Tell me…what’s going on?”

They both stared at me as if I was joking- but I was dead serious. Reno, as I expected, was the first to break.

“I did some hacking last night while you were asleep,” he began, “Hojo had created some fake accounts on Myspace, yahoo, AOL, and sent the pictures through there. So, I hacked into both Rufus’ and Hojo’s accounts and sent threatening messages to people. Since I felt like denying everything would be pretty lame- and people will believe that they want to- I sent out bulletins and messages stating that ‘anyone who gives Cloud Strife any shit about his sexuality, will have to deal with the entirety of Shinra.’”

“Yes,” Rufus continued, with a slight growl, “I didn’t find out about this until I logged in this morning. By then the damage was done. The people, who know, are now too afraid to do anything, and the people who don’t know…well…I doubt they were of any importance anyway.”

“I am not saying this will keep you safe, but it will keep those few homophobic assholes off your back for the time being…”

“Until our client finds out, and then we are all dead!”

The grunt of someone clearing their throat got our attention- we turned around to see our teacher, hands on his hips, with a very irritated expression on his face.

“You guys done? I would hate to interrupt your conversation,” he growled, his words drenched with venomous sarcasm.

We all laughed nervously and took our seats next to Rufus Shrina- who seemed to become more annoyed that we were near him. As I relaxed into the seat, I caught the vile conversation going on in front of me. There in the seats before me, where two football players- Tim and Shawn- cracking jokes about me. I heard the word fag being thrown around, along with other names I dare not repeat- “I can’t believe Greg got jumped by a fag like that,” they hissed, looking back at me, “maybe we should teach him a fuckin lesson.”

Tim, the shorter of the boys, decided to finish up Shinra’s job, “I think Cloud Strife should be tested for AIDs! He might infect the entire class!”

The class erupted in a nervous laughter- eyeing Rufus Shinra to see if he would hold up to Reno’s threats.

“Yeah,” Shawn continued, “and I don’t want this guy anyone near my ass! Move your seat strife.”

“Funny,” Reno shouted, “you let Tim go up your ass every night, I thought you’d be used to it.”

Shawn jumped out of his seat, despite my teachers loud yells to stop the fighting, and stalked over to Reno, eyeing him dangerously.

“You think you could fight me fag!”

It was very strange…no matter how much I told myself it was going to be okay, deep down I guess I thought it wasn’t going to go as I had plan. But here I was, being called a fag, having jokes made about me, and having my boyfriend go down with me- but it wasn’t as bad as I thought. It was just ignorance…it was stupid…they were stupid. It was just a word, a silly three letter word that was taken from its once innocent meaning, and bastardized. This was simple high school homophobia- childish immaturity- fear of people trending on their stone cold beliefs. They will grow out of it, they will forget about this- eventually I will to. So why hold on to this bad vibes, and let them fester inside of us- giving those words, and those negative more power than they deserve.

It was pointless. They can hit me as much as the want, and they call me whatever names they want…they don’t matter, they have no power. As long as I remember not to give these words any such power, I will be okay. I am stronger than I give myself credit for…

The slamming of the door snapped everyone’s attention to the front of the class, where our teacher stood, fuming at the ears.

“You are sixteen and seventeen years old, and yet you are acting like pre schoolers!” He roared, “Shawn Ross, and Timothy Grant, deans office now! Reno Sinclair, Mr. Franklin wants to talk to you down the hall!” He swung the door opened, pointing his thick index finger at the hallway- were some teachers and students began to accumulate.

Tim and Shawn shot us one last threatening look, and stormed out.

“Something tells me this isn’t about the fight,” Reno whispered to me, “I will see you in history.”

He walked out of the classroom, in a slightly defeated matter…I was worried about him, I wanted to follow him…

Maybe I should’ve…

Because that was the last time I saw him that day…