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Chapter 11

Just A Little Room For Angels

(Not In Clouds Point of View)

“The diner Reno?” I groan as my crazy boyfriend lead me into the rather nice, but sorry excuse for a date, diner. “Come on, we have like a million dollars, can’t we go to like…I don’t know…someplace NICE!”

Reno shoots me an evil death glare that could compete with mine, if it wasn’t for the fact he was just to adorable to look mean. “Shut up Strife, this is the only place we can go today.”

“I don’t see why, a lot of fancy places serve lunch.”

“Well, good for them, but I have the urge to stuff down a nice BLT,” he grins.

“Whatever.” Haha the whatever of doom, that’s what I inflict on you for bringing me to this place…

Oooo pancakes.

“So Strifanator,” what is with this boy and his nicknames, “Umm, could you tell me about that little girl Tifa you always call a whore?”

I raise an eyebrow; what could he possibly want to know about Tifa. “Why?”

“I don’t know curiosity,” he says, shrugging his shoulders, “She always flirts with me so I figure I should know a little about her. Not that I want her! I told you, boobies scare me.”

He flashes me a reassuring smile, which only adds to my suspicion. I would narrow my eyes suspiciously, but he throws a hissy fit when I do, and I rather not ignite his anger.

"She and I used to be friends when we were younger, back when we were like six or seven. Her dad killed himself when she was like two or three; she never really seemed phased by it. When she turned thirteen she changed, she had an attitude problem, and she started drift towards a bad crowd. Eventually, we just lost touch; rumor is she is the biggest whore."

"Literally?" Reno asks calmly.

"Uhh well, I hear she slept around with the entire football team so yeah I guess."

"Oh...okay."

I wasn't satisfied with that "Oh okay" he gave me; it was almost like he was taking notes...as if he was on one of Shinra's stupid cases. I can't see what they would want from Tifa; she is poorer than dirt so, she couldn't give them money, and I doubt she is smart enough to be a threat to a gang like Shinra. I was about to give Reno the third degree when the overly happy waitress frolics to our table.

"May I take your order boys?" She asks eagerly; maybe two eager for someone serving people for a living. Ah well, at least she isn't whoring herself.

"Yeah," Reno begins, "I will like a BLT and a Coke...not Pepsi, Pepsi sucks."

"Oh don't worry, we only serve the best here," she winks and turns to me. Hmm pancakes are really looking good.

"Uhh can I have uhh," no no what am I thinking? I can't have pancakes at noon. No, thats stupid. "Umm..."

"He will have what I am having," Reno interjects with a smile. Yeah well, BLTs aren't si bad.

"Yeah only I will have a Cherry Coke."

"Okay boys, let me take your menus and your food will be out shortly."

With a smile she takes our menus and frolics back to the kitchen like a happy little waitress. I would love to be that happy.

"Sorry," Reno mumbles, "I usually did what with Tseng; order his food for him when he didn't know what he wanted. Usually we liked the same things." He laughs despite the sadness in his voice; it was painful seeing that smile on his face...so fake.

"It's okay," I say, trying to be reassuring, "I like BLTs."

"You know...you remind me of a BLT." He laughs a little harder, the sadness slowly flying away.

"How the Hell do I remind you of a BLT?"

"Well, out the outside you are hard-"

"What do you mean hard!" I shriek...oooh my dirty mind is getting out of control.

"I mean, if you would let me finish," he growls, "You are like, I don't know, hard to get to know...and like...just like toast!"

"The bread on the BLT isn't always toasted," I counter with a smile."

"Geez I am trying to be fuckin' romantic and you are being a bitch about it! Fine forget it."

"No no, come on tell me how I remind you of a BLT."

No answer, he sits across from me trying to look as if he was mad; dodging my lingering stare for as long as he could. "Oh come on, don't be like that. I'm sorry, "I'll listen."

He shakes his head, a smile trying to creep onto his face, "No, the moment has past."

I smile despite his fake anger; it is scary that he is kind of acting like a girl...but at least he isn't throwing a hissy fit and tossing random sharp object at me. At least he isn't being annoying.

The drink came out first; I stared at my Cherry Coke, which I loved so much, then at Reno, then at my drink, then at Reno.

"You remind me of Cherry Soda," I say suddenly. He raises an eyebrow and waits for me to explain. "Well, you're hair is the color of cherries..."

"That’s gay," he counters. Oooh, using gay as an insult nice one gay boy.

I toss him a death glare, and he smiles a sneaky smile and allows me to continue. "You have hair like cherries, and I like cherries...(maybe to much) and...you...have gas like soda?"

He shoots me the most horrific death glare I have ever seen grace his perfect face. “Gas? What the hell is wrong with you Strife,” he shrieks. I can’t help but laugh at his fit, but that doesn’t seem to make the situation any better. Tee hee.

“Oh simmer down,” I laugh.

“If that was your best attempt at being romantic, I’m screwed right?”

I shrug, twirling the glorious drink with my straw making a tornado of liquid and ice. “I guess. You weren’t being so romantic before either.”

“That was your fault,” he shrieks again. Now the high pitched yell is getting to me…ow my head.

I pause staring that the drink, “You remind me of Cherry Soda, and I love my cherry soda.”

Woah did I just say love?

My eyes widen and I look over at Reno who was holding back a cackle. “Hehe,” he laughs, “So are you telling me, you love me.”

Uhhhh

“I don’t know.” Nice save Strife!

“What do you mean you don’t know,” he states calmly, “you either know or you don’t know.”

Well, I don’t know.

“I mean I could, eventually, but…”

“But…” he repeats waiting for an answer, an answer that I didn’t have.

“Can’t I love Cherry Soda without there being a whole big thing about it,” I was a tad frustrated now; Love has always been a small issue for me.

“Well, I think Cherry Soda thinks that if you love someone there has to be a whole big thing.”

“Well then, how about I strongly like Cherry Soda.”

“Don’t you strongly like your friends?”

“Sometimes.”

“Then it doesn’t count.”

I sigh, I don’t want to go into a long detailed explanation on why I don’t want to admit I love him or admit I don’t. If I say I don’t I will be lying, but the same goes if I say I do, and both would be wrong to tell him. I mean I just broke up with Aeries like two minutes ago and already I am jumping on to the bandwagon again, this time with a overly sensitive, immature, clumsily, little boy. I have to face it, he is unique, maybe that part I love. Zack was controlling, and treated me like I was a child and needed to be guided in the right direction. Aeries spent half our relationship trying to mold me into an upstanding, socially acceptable citizen and the other half screwing around with the bane of my existence. Reno is the only one not out to control me, sure it may look like I am him b!tch, but I really wear the pants. Yeah you will see it eventually, I am the man and he is the woman. ANYWAY, damn where was I going with this.

“I could possibly love Cherry soda if we stay together and he doesn’t go flat on me,” nice save!
Reno leaned back into the both, evidently happy with that answer, “You know as much as I do. Nothing.”

Or he could see right through me….

Well, at least he agrees with me.

“Whatever.”

Apparently I offended him with my whatever, which in my defense slipped out uncontrollably…my mouth has a mind of its own, because he sat up straight, shooting me an offended look. Then he does something strange- he takes a sip of the soda. Now what the hell would he do that…

SPIT

Ohh…so he could spit it in my face…

I open one eye after I was attacked by Reno’s soda spit of doom, to see him laughing so hard he wasn’t making any coherent sounds.

“That’s not funny,” I hiss through my teeth, but the crazy boy continues his laughter. I sigh, taking the white napkin from eh table and wiping away the soda that clung to my face.

“You mad?” his voice tried hiding the chuckles that tried to escape, “I see what you mean Strife.”

I look up, into the glowing green eyes that seem so confused, and flash him a very faint smile. “What are you doing later that is so important.”

I saw his face change from the happy face I am used to, to the serious face I fear more than anything. Every time he goes serious on me, I see a little more of his soul through his eyes that were never meant to be seen. Horrific images played over and over again in those eyes, without wanting to stop. He chooses to remember those days that almost killed him…or he just doesn’t have a choice.

“Have you ever taken time to notice Tifa?” His voice was cool, alien, and most of all serious with a hint of malice. “I mean, ever take time to look at her? Talk to her?”

The question took me back; it was so out of place, so random, and so didn’t answer my question. Or maybe it did. Tifa was his business, why is a good question.

“Why do you care?”

His famous lopsided grin danced along his face, “Answer the question Cloud.”

The truth was no, I never took the time out of my “busy” like to talk to Tifa after the incident that drew us apart. Mostly because I didn’t give a damn about her, her life, or how she chooses to life it. If she likes being a stupid whore, then let her be a stupid whore. What are you going to do? Smack her and say “This is the wrong direction!” No, you can’t. I wouldn’t because it was pointless, jus like if I wasted my time telling my mother to sober up. People do what they want.

“No,” I spat coldly.

“Is it because you are selfish?” Reno countered.

“I am not selfish, she can do whatever she wants if he makes her happy.”

Reno just stares at me in disbelief; as if me not caring automatically made me a heartless monster. And so what if I was a heartless monster, if it makes me happy I can do it right? RIGHT? Exactly. Not like I am hurting anyone…a lot.

“Ah, so you really don’t know,” he chuckled, “Next time you see her Strife, look at her eyes…and you will see how dead she really is.”

I raise a blonde eyebrow, looking for the words to respond. There really was nothing in my dictionary of sarcastic comebacks, or my dictionary of smart ass comments. So, I searched the dictionary of sincere phrases that I rarely ever use only to find out that not only am I not ever compassionate or sincere, I am also lack in the vocabulary department. There was nothing to say to this. Why? How? What? They all seemed so over used, overrated. I really don’t care.

Fuck, maybe I do.

“Don’t hurt her,” I hiss and started on my BLT.

Reno chuckles again, “You mean, like you hurt her?”

-

The rest of the afternoon was spent giving my asshole of a boyfriend the silent treatment. After he spoke his final words, called him something along the line of “You fuckin fuck face,” and ate my food in silence. He didn’t bother to say he was sorry, or explain why he said it, instead he offered a “whatever asshole,” and further ignored my anger. Then the bill came, and things went from bad to worse.

I wasn’t going to pay or even help pay for the bill after that rude comment of his. I could see in his devilish green eyes he was going to find a way to make me pay, (or make me help pay since I doubt he wants to imply he is the woman in this relationship…even if he is). So being me normal cold, nasty self, I simple walk out of the diner.

“You aren’t fuckin’ leaving me with the bill,” he screams, but his words fall on deaf ears. I just walk out, leaving him to decided on whether or not he is going to pay or wash dishes.

I knew what he meant by his first comment-which if we were in the privacy of our homes I would have killed him- Tifa, I hurt her, or I guess it was that I was supposed to save her from some evil that stalked her. I didn’t, nor did I try…but it wasn’t my fault everything went downhill after that night.

Tifa and I used to be friends, best friends even. As you remember me saying, I went to an all boys Catholic High school with a bunch or snotty rich kids who has an ego problem and a trust fund at the age of six. Vincent wasn’t in my school until the third grade, so from pre-school to second grade, I was truly, utterly alone. No friends, no allies, no one would stand up and take a hit for me back then. It seemed even the teachers didn’t like my “attitude” problem, and even attempted to label me a deviant (so I stole Rufus’s cupcake in the first grade, it wasn’t like he was going to eat it right? He was a chunker back then…I was doing him a favor!).

Around that same time, my mother was taking up the fine art of drinking. When she was sober, she would take me to the park so I could run around for a good two hours like a sped while she read one of her fashion magazines. I was six, and curious, so I decided to stray away from my mothers less-than-attentive eye. I ended up at the beach next to the park. South Beach it is still called; my mom likes to go really far away for some reason…I once heard her say I wouldn’t embarrass her over there because no one knew us. At six she was already making me feel miserable.

I walked around for a couple of minuets in the deep sand, pretty damn happy about it last time I checked, when a little girl with long dark hair ran up to me. Her hair ran down her knees and was tired up with a loose scrunchy at the end- giving her split ends the look of a dolphin tail-she had dark faded eyes, that seemed so…dead for a sex year old, and she was short, shorter than most six year olds that I can remember. She was cute though, she was cute and nice, which was what I liked about her.

“Hello what’s your name?” Her voice was so high pitched it could break a window, and the fact that she practically screamed in my ear didn’t make it any better.

“Cloud,” I said nonchalantly, “what’s yours?”

“Oh I am Tifa! Tifa Lockheart!”

“That’s a funny name,” I say coldly; let’s just say I didn’t know how to talk to girl back then.

“Well it isn’t as silly as Cloud,” she counters, “I mean, clouds are up in the sky! Not a person.”

“Oh…” I looked at the cute little stuffed animal she was holding- a cat with a crown on its head, “What’s that?” I pointed at the strange little animal, which apparently was rude of me.

“Don’t point its bad!” She hissed, then returned to her happy self, “his name is Cait sith, and he is my bestest friend!”

“How can you be friends with something that isn’t real?” Imagination wasn’t exactly my thing back then at six; along with lacking friends I lacked the schools to conjure up stories that only existed in my head, and using the inanimate objects little children had to act them out. I was too busy playing baseball back then to have time for such games.

“He is real,” she countered with a huff, “Don’t you have a bestest friend?”

I paused and looked at the animal, a small hint of sadness stabbed at my young heart, “No…No one likes me.”

Tifa’s face was overrun by concern as she took my small hand in hers, “It’s okay, no one likes me either.”

And there it was, the one thing we six year olds had in common back then- the knowledge that no one liked us. Pretty damn morbid for a six year old to think, let alone know something like that. I knew why no one liked me, and it wasn’t until Tifa was well grown that I found out why she wasn’t liked.

-

Then she and I grew up some, and at thirteen everything started to crumble around us. Vincent’s career as a Shinra lap dog was drastically coming to an end, Sephiroth who had been our friend started going all weird on me-to the point were I swear he tried to have be killed-and the dreaded sexual tension between Tifa and I started to show it’s ugly head.

I wouldn’t consider Tifa my first girlfriend, my first love, but she was my first kiss. I was like yesterday. It was three weeks before school was going to start, Sephiroth was expressing his unexplainable hate me for, and Vincent was starting to disappear on us. Tifa and I were hit extremely hard by the events, and found ourselves hanging out more and more. Unfortunately, Tifa thought this meant more than it did.

We were lying on my bed that day, staring at my white ceiling, just admiring the one moment of silence we had.

“Cloud,” she said slowly, “I love you.”

“I love you to, Tif,” I said with no feeling, no emotion; we had been friends long enough to say it and mean it in just a friendly way.

“No, I mean, I really really love you.” She sat on the bed, looking down on me, waiting for an answer, looking for an answer in my swirls of blues in my eyes. She wasn’t satisfied when my eyes told her to “run away, I’m not what you need.” So she tried my lips. Very slowly she bent down, until our lips met in a slow, emotionless kiss. When she pulled away I looked at her coldly, so cold I could sense the tears welling up in her eyes.

“Why did you do that,” I hissed. I don’t remember why I was so angry at her…I regretted that. She didn’t answer me, just laid back on the bed, her back towards me. I was getting frustrated by the minute; I had to get her to leave me alone…forever. I shoved her gently, “Go away.”

Tifa looked back, horrified by the behavior I never dared show her, “What…why?”

I stared at her for a minute, a long minute, burning into her dead brown eyes I guess trying to scare her with my gaze. She didn’t faltered, she didn’t move and inch, she wanted to know why her best friend-the one she trusted most of all-was treating her as if she was the plague.

And I knew what came next was wrong, and I knew the moment I said it I wanted to take it back. “Because you are an fucking whore and everyone knows it.”

-

Now that I think back to it, as I lay on the hood of my boyfriend’s car, I was scared. That was the same time I was starting realizing my sexuality, and the fact that I didn’t much care for girls as I did for guys. When she kissed me I freaked out, I got all confused and worried, to the point were my evil side just took over and called the one word that could shatter her into a million and one pieces.

We have never talked after that day. And I know I am a bastard, I still call her all those names, I still treat her as if she is some stupid piece of shit. I of all people should know she was never that, or would ever be that. But still I keep at it- my first kiss was turned into something horrible because I couldn’t take it. I am so screwed up. I am so fucking screwed up.

“Oh I know my EX- boyfriend isn’t sitting on the hood of my car!” Reno screams as he walks of the diner. I glance over at him, and even though I knew he was joking I still let a hint of sadness escape into my eyes. He caught that, and took back his statement, “well no Ex, but you are in the dog house mister.”

“Oh?” I act innocent.

“How the hell could you leave me with the bill you big ass!”

“It was your own damn fault,” I counter without a hint of emotion.

Reno throws his hands in the air; but defeated he had to have to last word, “Whatever, I don’t have time to baby sit a child, I have work to do.”

“Shinra work,” I huff, not moving from the comfort of the BMW.

“For your f—ckin’ information Strife, what I am doing tonight doesn’t have sh!t to do with Shinra, so just shut the f—k up already!” Well, it wouldn’t have taken a genius to know Reno was being a freakin pansy- okay yeah so every time the name “Shinra” is brought up I get all pissy, but I have a reason! Shinra is the bane of my existence since the Vincent joined them in the sixth grade. I explained this to everyone a thousand times, but it seems the only person who should understand, doesn’t. I can already see this, above all things, will be the reason we break up. Yes, I am psychic.

“Whatever,” I retort.

“Fine, fuck you to,” he shouts again, “and get off my f—kin’ car, and I hope you have money for the bus, because I ain’t drivin’ your sorry ass home.”

“Three months and already you got the New York accent down,” I change the subject before he has any chance to enforce that threat. I don’t have money for the bus, and Cid has been on edge lately, so calling him for help is well…detrimental to my health and existence.

“Cloud I am dead effin’ serious,” he hisses, “get off.”

I shoot him a sinister look, “What are you going to do lady man?”

Well maybe that was a stupid thing to say to guy who is not only my boyfriend but who also is supposed to give me a ride him. Reno lungs at me and shoves me off the car. I fall on my ass and look at him with an equally pissed off look plastered on my face.

That’s when I thought about it; what a stupid ass fight I managed to once again drag our selves into. As usually I make a big deal about everything, and I know it, and I harp on it until he backs down, or we both go home mad. This time it looks like only one of us is going home, while the other sits on their ass like a moron, wondering how the hell he got there.

I always do this,

I always did this,

I guess I will always be the bad guy.

“Ow,” I say dryly.

“Serves you effin right,” he counters his voice still in angry mode, “you probably dented my car with your fat ass.”

“Thanks,” I mumble sarcastically as I arise from the dirty parking lot of the diner, dusting myself off. I decide being in a car with him was going to piss me off even more, so I start to walk away when the red head grabs my arm.

“What are you going to do huh?” he mocks, “walk?”

I merely nod as I yank my arm away from him.

“Fine walk,” he continues, “see if I care.”

Reno was angry, very angry, and I had an ego that could choke an elephant- it was stupid…we were stupid. He gets in his car and speeds off, leaving me behind a trail of dust. Maybe it was my fault, everything else seems to be. If only if only, i could say, if only he wasn't in Shinra, I wouldn't be treating him like a prisoner. If only he understood why I hated the fact he was in there, maybe then he wouldn't get defensive. If only we could just put our pride and egos aside and just act as normal as boyfriends can possibly be in this world, THEN MAYBE just MAYBE there wouldn't be this scene.

Me, standing in the cold, in the middle of Hylan.

I turn around to begin the long walk home, when the familiar black BMW pulls up next to me, the still ticked off red-head in the drivers seat.

“Get the car Cloud,” he says softly, a hint of anger traced in his words.

I look into the open window of the passenger side door; he wasn’t looking at me, he was looking ahead of him, trying to ignore yet acknowledge me at the same time.

“Stop,” I say coolly.

“Stop what?” he asks defensively.

“Just stop acting like you are angry at me, I won’t get in the car if you are still pissed.” Reason: I like to avoid uncomfortable car rides.

“Well say you are sorry and I will,” he counters.

“Why do I have to say I’m sorry, you started this shit.”

“Why the hell did I come back.” He tries to drive away again, but I wouldn’t let him. I grabbed the door and shouted “wait.” And he did…which was good because if he had driven off…hehe I would be a dead Cloud.

“This isn’t working out is it?” I mumble. For the first time Reno actually looks at my eyes, his green orbs filled with shock and a hint of that blasted regret.

"You want to break up or something," he says cooly. I could tell he didn't want to, and I felt the same way...but the fighting was just stupid.

"I hate the fights we have," I sigh, "it doesn't matter who starts it, they are just stupid and happen almost every time we are together. We do so well when aren't fighting, but once we fight it's like we want to beat the living shit out of each other, and we can't have that."

There is a lengthy pause, and Reno seems to be thinking hard about it...maybe to hard. His eyes had pulled away from mine, and were now centered on the fine carpet of his car.

"I'm sorry," he starts biting his thumb nail; a nervous reaction I see.

I get in the car, my eyes never leaving him, scared that he would suddenly drive away again. I've noticed something about him- he gets scared so easily around me. I don't mean scared as "OH MY GOD A SPIDER!" no I mean scared like...I was. He told me he had a boyfriend, and from Vincent's research (oh I love that boy) he was quite the seducer among the gay crowd. But here, now, he seems like a virgin to this world, even worse than me. Does he wants this? Does he care? Is he really this afraid? or is he just upset we had another one of our fights. Could it be something more, something even I could be frighten of.

Are you lying to me Reno? Are you lying like Zack and Aeris? Are you just the same as everyone else? Like my parents, my teachers, my neighbors, my family? Are you going to hurt me Reno?

Please answer.

Please tell me I am an idiot, a paranoid idiot. Please just tell me I am thinking to much, or I have serious issues. I'd take anything, I just want an answer...

"I love you."

And those three words made everything right again. All the questions were answered. Or, at least I hoped.

"I love you too."

"Like cherry soda?"

I laugh gently, "Even more than cherry soda."

-

We are in front of my house, in his car, making out like two rapid, hormone driven, teenagers. Well we are, what you expect? Of course it was kind of stupid since anyone from the neighborhood could have walked pass and be all "Oh em gee, two boys making out in the car, call the army!" But I guess he is just way to sexy to keep my hands off.

We finally pull away after about twenty minutes of tongue dancing.

"I've got to go babe."

"F--K you," I yank his long pony tail to emphasis my discontentment.

"I am going to assume that means 'I love you' and be on my way." He leans over to plant one more soft kiss on my lips. I clearly wasn't happy.

"Why did you want to know about Tifa?" This seems to be the perfect time to ask, but clearly Reno wasn't giving in and shot me the most evil death glare one of his cuteness could muster up.

"I have to go bye bye now."

"Come on were going out, who can you trust if you can trust your boyfriend."

"I don't want you involved."

"I won't be, I am just naturally curious."

He opened his mouth as if he was going to tell me but, stupid boy, decides not to and flashes me his prize winning smirks. Ohhh he is up to no good that one!

But he's so cute.

Oh I suck.

-

I am unusually bored tonight, which sucks because I hate being bored- thus why I hate school. Every video game I seem to pick up doesn’t interest me, every time I try to write in one of my stories the inspiration doesn’t come, and finally every time I try to look for Sephiroth to kill….some time, he isn’t out. Ugh where is he! He should be out by now! Stupid little monkey.

Okay let’s try my so-called best friends.

Vincent- is apparently “busy” at home entertaining some “guest.” Which means he is playing bridge with his sadistic grandmother and her friends.

Cid- Saids he is “patrolling” which means he steals one of his dad’s portable sirens and roams around Staten Island scaring children. You would think the son of a cop would know it is illegal to impersonate an officer.

Barret- He just said, “I have my hands tied” with a slight laugh, so I defiantly do NOT want to know what he is doing.

There wasn’t really anything legal to do, so somehow I manage to find myself roaming around a neighborhood that I have never been to. Yes, despite the fact Staten Island is small, I haven’t explored every single inch of it- not like this place is that interesting to waste time exploring. Well anyway, the neighborhood didn’t look so different from mine, saved it looked more middle class than rich snobby tight ass class. So you could suspect my surprise when I saw a familiar black BMW parked across the street from a suspicious building, almost hidden thanks to its color.

I decide to be bold and daring, and made my way to the passenger side of the red heads car. I peer in and see my boyfriend in his Shinra attire, his sunglasses sitting gracefully on his perfect nose, looking as if he was waiting for someone to appear. Well I certainly doubt he was expecting his boyfriend- so I knock on the window, causing the boy to jump around like a fish out of water.

“Strife,” he blurted out, staring at me with his classes falling of his face, “Wh-What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same question,” I mock.

“Just….get in the car.”

-

“Did you hear, she is a whore?”

“Oh my god, yeah! I heard she did it with the principal she he wouldn’t kick her out!”

“Ew! He is a married man!”

“Yeah, with two kids!”

“I heard she had an abortion freshman year!

“She probably has aids!”

-

(Now Playing Just a Little by The Used.)

“Rude heard it first.”

The sound of guitars and drums sang in the car as Reno stared out into the darkness, staring at the building, looking out for someone. I looked out with him, curious to see the being that caused him to leave my side in favor of a fake Shinra job. Whoever it was, had to be important to someone.

“Rude has liked her since second grade, God knows why, so he felt he should protect her when he heard those nasty rumors.”

“He told me he has been watching her here…not every night, but often he comes here…waits for her…and then waits for a customer. When he sees them, he plays a fake siren and chases them away.”

“Does she know it’s him?”

“No, and he won’t tell her.”

“Why?”

“Because she loves someone else.”

I face him, a darken feeling rose in my chest- not me right? Not me.

-

“You know whose really really cute?” her long black locks whipped violently in the wind as we all walked down the South Beach boardwalk.

“I know I am!” a ten year old Sephiroth boasted, running his fingers through his soft silver hair allowing a cocky smile make his way across his face. We were friends back then, best friends…what happened to us?

“NO! Silly,” she giggled violently, “Cloud is!”

My blue eyes widen, and I remember a small blush paint my pale face. Sephiroth’s evil cackle echoed throughout the beach and boardwalk, causing the four of us to stop midway. Vincent, being quiet as ever, smiled half heartily but kept his mouth shut for the most part.

“I’m not cute,” I mumble modestly, causing little Tifa to practically to jump on top of me and squeeze me to about an inch of my life.

“Yes you are!”

-

We both continue to stare at the building decorated with the graffiti of gangs and wanna-be big shots. The flicking street lamps gave off little light to shine upon the fallen angels that walked this path every night waiting for someone to rescue them, but always getting the villain. She was here, that’s why he was here, that’s why Rude came every night. He wanted to protect her, he wanted Reno to help, and here I was stuck in the middle. I could have left by now, but now I feel obligated…after I hurt her…after that night.

“She doesn’t want to do this.”

“She wants to be free.”

-

Tifa’s POV

If I could go back and time and change my life, I would in a heartbeat. I haven’t learnt a valuable lesson in my life, and I doubt I ever will. The only thing I ever learnt from my job was that I am just a piece of meat to men, and that my body and my sex is all they would ever want out of me. To them, my brain, my wishes, my hopes, my dreams, are just excess baggage that they don’t even want to see in the eyes of the woman they are fucking. They just want that moment of pleasure…and that’s why I am here.

-

back to Clouds

“We just wait then?” my voice cracks upon seeing her, dressed like a whore, not like the peppy cheerleader she is at school. A skirt, hiked up so far you can barely make out her butt cheeks, a metallic fitted tank top shaped her body and allowed her enormous breast to peep out. She is wearing the boots she wore for her Halloween costume, everyone likes them, I doubt anyone know what else they were used for. Her hair was lose, a tad messy, but let out a luminous glow when she walks under a street lap. She looked dead, but I doubt her customers would care, as long as she lets them take advantage of her…they don’t care.

“Yeah, we wait for some sick married pig, probably from out neighborhood, drive up in his pretty Mercedes and call her over,” you could lick the venom and malice off his words it was so thick. Never seen him mad like this before, never thought he had a bone in his body that resembled complete and utter hate. He sounds almost like me…heh, guess I am rubbing off.

My eyes lock on to a old beat down white Honda pulling up next to her- that’s not something a rich married fellow from our neighborhood would drive. In fact, that’s something…

“Cid,” I gasp.

“So he finally got the balls to do it,” Reno snickered, “it seems like she isn’t the only own from your group with secrets.”

“He isn’t picking her up! His dad works for the Special Victims Unit, I doubt he would do something like this!”

“Your right,” Reno leans back, watching with a small smile on his face, “he is here to save her.”

Tifa

I am shocked when I see him emerge from his dirty car, his normally pissed off look escalated to something I couldn’t even explain. He was mad, no, he was angry, betrayed. My biggest mistake was letting him go- but I had to, I couldn’t drag him into this hell hole. But here he is anyway, of his own free will, to ask me…

“Why?”

His voice was calm despite the anger that continued to linger in his face. I wanted to tell him why, god knows I did, I wanted to spill my guts…I wanted him to be my night in shining armor. He has other things to worry about, though, that don’t include some little hussy who grew up to fast.

“Like I have to fuckin’ answer to you,” I shout, turning my back on him like I did a year ago. But unlike a year ago, he grabs my hand, stopping me in my tracks. I try not to look in his direction, I shut my eyes to block his face out- just go away Cid, I am not worth it.

“Don’t give me that bullshit again Tif. I have to know why you are doing this to yourself.

“Just go away Cid.”

“No!” He shouts, squeezing my hand and pulling me closer to him. “Tell me for once, stop running away from me, I am not your enemy!”

“Why the fuck do you even care,” I counter as I hold back the tears that have been threatening to fall since last year- I never cry for a man…or…I try not to.

“Because…someone have to care right?”

“No.”

He lets go of my hand, and I let it drop to my side without remorse. I didn’t need this drama, this “love”, it will only get in the way of what I need to do- get money for my family, and keep up this so called social status I have at school, without it I am nothing…I am useless, worthless. And what was love anyway? Some stupid illusion created by the hallmark company to make money. It’s an excuse for teenage girls to get into bed with their boyfriends after one month. It causes murder, sadness, depression, and suicide. It never lasts, it isn’t even real.

He glided behind me, putting him mouth right next to my ear and his hands against my waist. If I had one ounce of strength left in me, I would shove him away and kick him in the balls. All to protect him….All to protect him. But part of me doesn’t want that, part of me wants to listen to him…

“The first time I saw it…” his voice would be alien to his “friends”, a soft, sweet voice he only used on me. I always felt special because of that…because he didn’t treat me like a daughter…he treated me like a

“You looked like one of those snooty cheerleaders, like Aeris. I thought you were rich- dressed from head to toe in Bebe. It was the first day of school, it was a litter warmer than most September days, so you were in a black shirt and white tank top. Your hair was up in a high pony tail, and you were flirting with those white ‘gangsters’. It took me a year to talk to you…”

“We had Chemistry together,” I continue dreamily, “you sat next to me…I knew who your father was- he booked me a few times. I saw the pictures of his family on his desk…a happy family. A mom and dad holding hands on their wedding, two little twin girls flashing a toothy smile, and then his sons eighth grade graduation picture. ‘He’s a fire cracker that one, about your age, but he’s a good boy,’ that’s what your father always said. So when I saw you, I was afraid to ask you the simplest of questions…”

“My dad had told me who you were- he told me to watch you. At first I didn’t know what he meant, and I didn’t really care. I was to caught up in my own life to bother. But there was something about you that wanted me to know more…and my boy ‘father like attitude,’ started to cloud my judgment. I asked for your chemistry homework…those were the first words I ever said to you.”

I push myself away from him and stare into his cold blue eyes, “So? Then what happened, everything went down hill. You wanted to control everything, and I just wanted to be free for once.”

“And this is free,” he counters loudly, “standing on a corner!”

“And you think you can save me from this? When I can’t even save myself!”

“You can save yourself, just let me help you.”

Can you argue with someone with the soft angry eyes, telling you he wants to pick you up off the floor and teach your to walk again? Can you argue with someone who threw you away and almost forgot about you entirely? Can you argue with him? I know he is right…

“I won’t let you go this time, I promise…”

-

“Looks like our work here is done.”

I smile at the red head as we witness the beautiful site before us- Tifa and Cid kissing under the dull moonlight, acting as if no one in the world existed in that moment, but themselves and the passion that had long awaited to be re-awakened. I would have never thought, of all people, Cid would be the one to pick up a broken girl like Tifa and put her back together- I didn’t even think he knew her on a level like that. Goes to show you how many secrets we keep to ourselves in this foursome of ours. Cid, broken hearted by a girl shattered by her own mistakes. Vincent, well he is and probably forever will be a box filled with the most horrendous secrets one could ever imagine. I dare not think of what he hides behind the cold, blood like eyes -the entrance way to his soul- for I fear the horror would drag me into the darkest pit of his mind…along with him. And then there is I, who is one leg in, one leg out of the closet, and is practically falling for a dog of Shinra. But I think the greatest secret of all I hold, is that I am weak…

But don’t tell anyone…

It’s our little secret.

-

“Did you know…” we sat in the car, in front of my house, dreading the pull of our houses to walk in and be forever caught in the web spun of lies and fake love and empty words. I think, Reno has it worse; he has to face the disapproving eye of his high class parents, as the cradle his new baby brother in there arms, silently saying “He will not disappoint us like you.”

“Did I know what,” my eyes scan my house for life- non, mom was passed out on her bed, and dad was at a party with his lover. Does he even live in the same house that man?

“Did you know, they are forcing me to spend Christmas vacation in California.” His voice is dead- are you remembering? “Next week before I leave, we can exchange our gifts…”

I got you the entire Axe line tee hee

“I have a couple of surprises for you to.”

“Oh?”

“There’s a Christmas party at some jocks house the night before I leave, you are going…and I will show you my surprise there.”

I groan, slapping my forehead- I HATE PARTIES! “Is it detrimental to my health if I

don’t go?”

He snickers, flashing me his trademark smile, “I’ll cut your balls off how’s that?”

“Do what you will,” I laugh softly. He still looks dead to me…I hated it, hated this look most of all. “Reno…what’s wrong?”

He wants to tell me I know, but his own voice holds him back from the words that threaten to spill out. Reno, the regret, the held back words, the dark green eyes that try to spill the secrets of the mouth, but it’s thoughts are killed in a instant.

“I just don’t want to go back, kay?”

That’s not what you wanted to say.

“Okay. I will come to the party, but the surprise better be worth it!”

“…Trust me, it will.”

Just smile, that’s all I need.