Disclaimer: I don’t own FF7.…never will and…well I’ve come to accept that fact so you should too! Don’t sue me!
Is Zack in a meeting right now? He usually is about this time…though he’s probably not paying attention…like I am. Cloud smiled to himself as he glanced back up at his teacher who was lecturing about something he wasn’t sure about. He scribbled absentmindedly on his sheet of paper while tilting his head slightly.
Gawd my neck is sore, looks like training is catching up to me. Well training with Zack anyways, I barely get anything out of Sergeant Okuda’s class. But I guess that’s what defines a first class SOLDIER from the rest.
He couldn’t help it, his mind always seemed to travel to Zack no matter what was going on lately. It had been two weeks since the day of his hangover and for that time the SOLDIER seemed to always find a spot in his brain. It was strange how that happened but…he wasn’t too upset about it. He had been freaked out about his dream with Zack a while ago but now he had kind of forgotten about it. After all they had hung out that day that he had it and nothing happened, everything was fine, so he figured why stress off of it. Besides, they had hung out everyday practically since then and things weren’t strange at all…well mostly. Of course Cloud thought that he was the one making things awkward, he was the one who would blush like crazy or stutter and trip over his words or even just smile at the other…and that was weird because he hardly smiled at all. He didn’t know exactly what was going on, he just knew that he really liked to be around the carefree SOLDIER.
The bell sounded and the students began to pick up their books and sling on their book bags.
“Your assignment is due first thing tomorrow, don’t forget!” The teacher announced over all the commotion.
Assignment? He didn’t hear any mention of an assignment but of course he didn’t hear much of anything at all during class. Sighing he grabbed his items and walked out of the door. He was so glad that his day was over, now all he had to do was homework but that wouldn’t take long seeing as how…well he didn’t know what the homework was. Turning down a few halls he continued on his way to the barracks. The halls had cleared seeing as how everyone was either in some other classes or training if not already back in their rooms.
The only sound for awhile was just the echo of his footsteps in the hall but then there were another pair that was heard.
Not paying much attention to it he kept on his way until the sound of someone clearing their throat a bit harshly caught his attention.
Raising an eyebrow he cast a look over his shoulder before rolling his eyes.
“Are you stalking me now?” The blonde asked while not ceasing his walk.
“I have better things to do in my spare time, don’t flatter yourself,” Jin spoke with a grin on his face.
“Hmm,” Cloud began, “well then why the hell are you coming this way? I thought your room was on the other side.”
“I’m visiting a friend,” the taller one replied before stopping in his tracks.
Cloud stopped too when he saw one of Jin’s other cronies appear in front of him. “Is that so,” he replied while glaring at the boy in front of him before turning back to look at Jin.
Jin smirked before stepping up closer to the blonde, “scared?”
The third member of the trio appeared finally appeared leaning against the wall with a small smile on his face.
Cloud glanced at him before shifting his eyes back to Jin, “of what?”
“Oh the big bad boy huh? Keeping a cool head, I admire that,” Jin spoke with a laugh before stepping right in front of the blonde.
Cloud glared at the other, not moving from his spot. He was shorter than him and a lot more skinnier but he’d be damn if the asshole would make him run away.
“You know, you and I never finished our match that day that you got suspended…I hate to leave things unfinished don’t you?” Jin asked while tilting his head.
The blonde gasped as he felt two hands pulls his arms back tightly while the one in front of him just continued to smirk.
“Scared yet?” Jin asked causing his two friends to laugh.
Cloud glared before trying to break free from the boy who was holding his arms but he was too strong.
“Don’t worry we won’t keep you long,” Jin began before quickly delivering a blow to the blonde’s stomach, “I’m sure you have important things to do.”
Cloud hunched over briefly but was quickly jerked back by the other holding his arms. He coughed a few times before looking back to Jin, a look of pure hatred on his face. If only his two other friends weren’t there, what a coward.
“You see I think you got the impression that you were somehow better than me during our spar match in class, just wanted to straighten things out,” Jin said before slamming his fist against the cadets jaw.
He didn’t make a sound but just turned his head from the hit and spit some blood onto the floor, he wouldn’t give Jin the satisfaction of hearing him scream or seeing him cry.
“Now that you’re suspension is over and you’re back in class, just wanted to make sure we got off on the right foot,” Jin continued before hitting him repeatedly anywhere that he could land a hit. He hit him in the eye and the ring he was wearing scratched the blonde just above the eye making it bleed down his face. The cadet was breathing hard now and it was taking every ounce of his strength not to make a sound, he thought he was going to give in at any moment but the boy who had been leaning against the wall spoke up.
“Let’s go, monitors are going to be patrolling in a bit,” the boy spoke while glancing at his watch and pushing himself away from the wall.
The one holding onto Cloud let go of him letting him fall onto the floor on his hands and knees, coughing up blood and panting heavily.
“See you in class Strife,” Jin said with a sneer before turning and walking back down the hall with his two friends.
Finally the footsteps disappeared and the blonde pushed himself up onto his feet while wiping at the blood on his face. He bit his lip as he tried to hold back the tears, the tears of frustration and humiliation. He refused to come to Midgar and be treated the same way he was back at home but…he still was. Gasping a bit from the pain of his salty tears entering his cuts he wiped them away quickly as he continued down to his room. He passed a few cadets who only looked at him with curiosity before turning away. Fuck them, fuck the whole place! Leaning against his door he searched for his key before shoving it inside the lock and stumbling into the room. His side hurt more than anything. Dropping his book bag onto the ground he pulled off his shirt slowly before tossing it onto his bed. Glancing down at his side he frowned when he saw the purplish, blue mark that was forming there. He touched it lightly and winced before dropping his hand to his side. He entered the bathroom and splashed some water on his face before looking into the mirror. Bad idea. He looked terrible. His right eye was already beginning to turn colors from the force of the hit and he had a few small cuts. His eyes were slightly red from the tears he had shed and he mentally cursed himself for being so weak.
No wonder why I get picked on! Look at me? He continued to stare in the mirror, looking at the pathetic boy that he saw. The joke, the small town boy. Definitely not a SOLDIER. What had he been thinking to come here? There was no way he could do this, why had he just set himself up for failure? He suddenly felt very stupid for thinking that he was getting somewhere from training with Zack. Who was he kidding, nothing was being accomplished. Zack was just trying to humor him more than likely.
Turning off the water he exited the bathroom not being able to stand looking at his reflection anymore. He laid down on his bed slowly and stared up at the ceiling before closing his eyes. He just wanted to drift off into a dark oblivion, away from the harsh realities of his world. A temporary solution to his ongoing problem.
************************************************************************
“That doesn’t even make sense,” the blonde began with a quirked eyebrow.
“Well shit it does to me!” Kyo began with a laugh while flopping onto the bed next to the other, “I’m no good at this stuff.”
Cloud smiled before picking up a pencil and scratching out a few things on the paper. He was helping Kyo with his essay for English, it didn’t really need to be stated that Cloud was a lot more stronger academically than Kyo, but he didn’t mind helping him at all. “Take this whole part out,” Cloud said while dragging his pencil over a few lines, “it has nothing to do with the book we read at all.”
“Yeah those were just fillers,” Kyo replied while watching the blonde, “also known as bullshit.”
“Interesting,” the cadet mumbled while reading a few more lines of Kyo’s essay.
“So,” Kyo started while shifting a little on the bed, “I saw Zack today. He wanted to know if you were up for training tomorrow. I told him I’d ask you.”
Cloud halted for a moment as his blue eyes moved over the paper and then to Kyo before he shook his head. “No,” he replied, “no I don’t think so.”
Kyo sighed before nodding hesitantly.
“Here,” Cloud said while handing the paper back to Kyo, “I fixed it up a little so just rewrite it with the corrections I made.”
“Thanks,” his roommate answered before taking the paper and heading back to his desk.
Cloud sighed before leaning back on his bed. It had been two days since his little run in with Jin, and since then he had been basically avoiding Zack. He did it for a few reasons. One because he didn’t want Zack to see the injuries he had from the fight, mainly the gigantic black eye and two because he didn’t see the point to training anymore. He didn’t feel like doing much of anything anymore actually, but he still went to his classes and completed his daily routine before hiding back in his room.
Zack had come over the night of the fight but Cloud had told Kyo to tell him that he wasn’t feeling well and Kyo did seeing as how he knew his friend was tired from the fight. But he had him repeat the lie for another day and it seemed like it was going to keep on that way until Cloud faced him again…whenever that would be. But until then Zack was given the notion that the cadet was sick.
“I’ll be back I’m going to get a drink, want anything?” Cloud asked while getting off of his bed and heading towards the door.
“No I’m fine,” Kyo replied while waving his hand.
The blonde nodded before slipping out and heading to the cafeteria. Serving hours were over but there were vending machines for drinks and snacks. Walking up to one the cadet put in his change before pressing his selection but with his luck it was sold out.
“Of course it is,” he mumbled before hitting another button for something else. He retrieved his drink and left the cafeteria getting ready to head down the hall back to his room before the window caught his eye. He gazed outside for a moment before walking over to the doors and stepping outside. It was a really nice night out and he was kind of upset that he had spent so much time crammed in his room. Closing his eyes briefly he took in a breath. The air wasn’t fresh like it was back in Nibelheim, it was actually kind of thick and tinged with the smell of gasoline but hell it was good enough. He found his feet moving, to where he didn’t exactly know he just needed to get out and away from the facility. He had been walking for about five minutes and was a good distance away before he took a seat on the curb and took a sip of his drink before staring off aimlessly into the distance. He wasn’t even sure if he was supposed to be out there, actually he knew he wasn’t, it was past curfew but he didn’t care.
“Spike what are you doing here?” A voice asked as the sound of footsteps neared.
Cloud’s eyes widened when he heard the voice but he didn’t turn to look, “just getting some fresh air.”
“I thought you were sick, you should be inside,” the raven haired youth continued once he was right next to the other, looking down at him with a grin.
“I’m fine,” Cloud replied still keeping his gaze elsewhere.
Zack sighed before taking a seat next to him on the curb, “you sure?”
The blonde was silent for a moment as the wind gently caressed his soft spikes, “what are you doing out here anyways?” He asked trying to take the focus off from him.
Zack chuckled before running a hand through his hair, “I just came back from the bottom plate, I was visiting a friend there.”
“Bottom plate? Isn’t it dangerous down there?” Cloud asked curiously turning to look at the other, completely forgetting about his eye.
“Yeah it’s a lot worse than…”the SOLDIER stopped when he looked at Cloud and the grin that was on his face quickly vanished followed by a look of concern, “what happened?”
The blonde blinked before remembering his black eye and turned to look in front of him again, “nothing.”
“Nothing?” Zack echoed before glancing away, “so that’s what the sick excuse was all about.”
“No,” Cloud began quickly, “I was sick!” Sick of this damn place!
Zack turned back to the other with a knowing look on his face. “Same kid who you sparred with?”
The cadet sighed before shaking his head, “what does it matter?”
Zack frowned. He wanted names! Who the hell did this to Cloud? He wasn’t going to just sit by and do nothing! “It matters Cloud,” he replied keeping his gaze on the other.
Cloud glanced at Zack before dropping his eyes to the street and taking in a deep breath.
“Spike,” Zack began before Cloud quickly cut in.
“No! It doesn’t. Nothing matters here it’s all just…” he trailed off before dropping his head slightly and then finally turned to look at the other, his eyes shimmering with tears. “I don’t belong here Zack, I don’t. I don’t have what it takes to be a SOLDIER, I’m not like you. I’m not like any of the other guys here, I’m a joke! And to keep trying to tell myself that I’m not only sets me up for bigger falls later. This isn’t where I belong.”
Zack shook his head, “No that’s not true,” he began quietly, “what you think you don’t belong here because of what some stupid kids may say or because of your asshole instructor!?”
Cloud dropped his eyes back down to the ground, letting the tears now fall freely down his face.
“You can’t let them get to you Cloud. There’s always those people who are going to try to tear you down because they don’t want to see you succeed, and I wish there wasn’t people like that but…in this world there is. But you know you have what it takes, I know you have what it takes,” the SOLDIER explained softly.
“You don’t understand,” Cloud began while looking back into Zack’s eyes, “It’s always been like this. I don’t know how to change it…people don’t like me and I don’t know why and I always mess up on stuff, I don’t-”
“Cloud,” Zack whispered softly while putting his arm around the boy and drawing him near. He silently hoped that the blonde wouldn’t push him away, he just wanted to comfort him. But Cloud didn’t push him away, instead he just let himself be pulled next to the other and continued to cry. He didn’t give a damn that he was crying in front of a first class SOLDIER, or that he was showing his weak side. That didn’t matter at all right now.
Placing his other arm around the cadet Zack pulled him closer. The look that he saw in those innocent blue eyes was enough to break his heart. The pain, the hurt the confusion and frustration all but evident in his eyes and only becoming more clear in the tears that rolled down his face. He hated to see him like this.
Cloud was holding onto him tightly as if he would die if he let him go and Zack was perfectly fine with that. He would be there for Cloud, he would help him get through this and whatever other problems he had. He was actually glad that he had opened up to him and had allowed him to see the deeper side to him.
“Remember how I told you that sometimes can be jerks towards you if they’re jealous of you?” Zack asked softly.
“Yeah,” Cloud replied between cries.
“Yeah,” Zack began with a nod, “Cloud people see something special in you and that makes them jealous. You said you’re not like the rest of the guys here and that’s true. You’re better than they are, so much better than they are.”