drama sucks
Mood:  quizzical
okay here is my main question. why does everyone feel the obsessive need to make all of their problems my problems. i really don't care and i dont' want to know. if i ask you fine then i actually do but if you just come up and randomly start talking to me about all of the things that are wrong in your life odds are that i am not going to care. i am going to sit there and polietly listen while daydreaming of somewhere that people can't find me but i will listen and give you the same advice that i do everytime you bring me the same trivial problems. oh heaven help me.

there are times when i really want to quit my job and then there are the times when i doesn't seem so bad.

oh yeah did i mention that i still have no idea what the hell i am doing with Dom. i swear. five minutes today and i wanted him to just hold me and tell me that i was going to be okay and that it would all work out for the best in the end. then there was the urge to smack him up side the head with something heavy like my desk chair.

then there is ryan. he likes me. i know that he does and i care for him too it just isn't the same way that i care for Dom and there is nothing to talk about with ryan. there is always things to talk about with Dom. i dont' know if ryan will ever understand me and why i do the things that i do. there is a method to the madness that is my life and it is something that you can't just step back into and immediatley understand after 4 years. i am not the same person that i was back then. not even close. there is so much that changed. there is so much that has happened that i don't know if i can go back. plus there is the whole he is super furry thing and i don't know if i could deal with that. i mean i have had the perfect male speciman for the last 8 months and then there is a guy who would actually date me but he is proof that yetis exist.
i know that it is completely superfical but i can't help it. it just some thing that i don't think i am ever going to get over. plus there is just something missing and i can't put my finger on it. i think there is a definate lack of chemistry on my part. i mean i like him and he is a great guy and it would be fun but i have not passion or desire to have him with me and that would be something that i don't think i could live without.

aaaaahhhhhhh........

i need a vacation.....