Mood:
quizzicalit has been one of those weeks were you are not really sure what is going to happen next.
first on monday i find out that grandma only has like a month left to live and then i start bawling. that is something that i just don't do. it is girly and i am anything but.
after i finally was able to talk on monday while i was sitting at the picnic table waiting for brandon to pick me up since i am still sans car. the only person that i could think to call was Dom. how great is that. he didn't answer so i left him a message and he called me back about five minutes later and i told him the whole thing and he calmed me down as usual and even made me laugh.
we joked about the fact that i was in the grip of a nervous breakdown and the only person that i could think of to call was him. that is great...just great.
so fast forward to wednesday....i text him something inane like hurray for re-runs..nothing too intellectual. i get something back about running his car off of the bridge. and he is serious as a heart attack. i asked him what was wrong and he didn't want to tell me. eventually he said that he would call me back and he actually did. i almost died of shock before i could answer the phone.
as per usual it was about Leslie. he just found out that she has been single for a week and she didn't tell him. i really want to hit him in the back of the head with something big and heavy. she doesn't think of you in that way..she never will and you need to move on before you miss something great. and i don't just mean me. at least he admits that he is obsessed. he even apologized for ever making me feel like he did.
i decided that i was sick of sitting in the house while i was talking mainly because there was nothing to do so i went for a walk. i made some comment about stars and it being beautiful and next thing i know i am getting asked if i want to walk over there.
i make jokes about it being too far and too cold but of course i do. somehow on the way over i start ranting about my problems and part of me knows that he is happy about that because it is a lot easier to fix other people's problems than deal with your own.
eventually i get over there and next thing i know he has a t-shirt for me to slip on before i even ask. eventually i get up off the bed and put it on and then lay back down. he pulls me to him and tucks me in his arm. he starts to run his hand up and down my back. i don't think there is anything more relaxing.
he keeps wetting and biting his lips as do i. eventually he kisses me and from then on it is pure passion tinged with sweetness. he keeps looking into my eyes and then when it was over, he leaned down and kissed my shoulder. he hasn't done that in months. he lays down naked doesn't jump up and wander around like he normally does but pulls me into his arms and we fall asleep. i wake up to him curled on his side and pull him to me. i want to be in those arms again. we spoon and fall back asleep. it is great.
now i am confused again. it woudl be nice if there weren't any mixed signals for me to misunderstand. sometimes it sucks cuz i know that if leslie ever wakes up and realizes what she has it will be all over for me. i just wish he could let himself be happy with me. it could be something awesome.