An Update of Sorts
Now Playing: Zohar
# I'm tired of being treated like fresh meat. But I'm semi-flattered that men think I'm worth the look.
# Single is nice, independent. A large number of my friends have SOs and I get lonely.
# ...and tired of people assuming that because I live with a man, I must be dating him. Or that because I have some really close guy friends, that I'm dating one of them. I'm not.
# My inside are so Cold right now. So Cold. And I don't know when I'm going to get to see my sister. That drives me to tears. Lots of them.
# I'm reminiscing. Perhaps a bit too much. It's making me long for days gone by, for people and things I had to leave behind. For simpler days.
# I think, therefore, that too much reminiscing can kill a soul.
# People were assholes back then, too.
# I want my house to have a spiral staircase. A fireplace, a porch, a clean garage. A kitchen table for eight, furniture to be used, not looked at, a dog or two. An equipped dark room. The biggest library ever. A rolling ladder to reach my books. Shelves and shelves of books. Big comfy chairs. Blankets to curl up in, carpet good enough for bare feet. Enough kitchen space that Emeril would approve. Storage. A guest bedroom. A room for my sister. A pool large enough to do decent-sized laps. Did I mention the library? Windows wherever possible. Plastic glasses for lemonade on my porch. Dog toys. Cat litter. A many-gallon fish tank. Clownfish. A room for all of my junk. An office. A whiz-bang computer. Lots and lots of music. French, Celtic, pop, jazz. My Irish flag. Poppy by Andy Small. Couches. A small waterfall somewhere. A yard big enough for my animals. A big barn. Full of horses for my sister. Fields. For her horses. Skylights. A coffee table by the tv. Popcorn. Pasta. Pizza. Blackberries.
# I'm still reading back. Way back. Like 2004 back. And you know what? I've been in love twice now. And both times, in different ways, my love was crushed into powder. Who knew that by 22/23 I'd have been in love twice, and with men on different ends of whatever scale.
# But where does that leave me?
# My brain sometimes types things I don't mean. Like just now, I actually typed "doesn't that leave me" instead of "does." I do that a lot. Usually when I'm being serious and at least a little self-inspecting.
# Freud'd have a field day with me, I'm sure.
# Freud also claimed that psychoanalysis had no answer for the Irish.
# Speaking of St. Patrick's Day, I'm receiving regular emails from the Fireman I met in Arizona (don't you judge me; the transition worked in my head.).
# He's cute.
# I would love to go back to Phoenix. Now.
# Today's the first day since I had my hair cut back in January that it's been long enough for pigtails. This means I have another method of keeping off of my face, aside from bandana and hat. This is very good.
# Still reading back. My junior year of college was a cynical time in my life.
# But goddamn was I driven.
# I am a product of those I come in contact with. So be nice to me, I'm taking part of you with me.
# What you do with what you learn is who you become.
# It's now later than I had intended to stay up, so this is all you get.