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A Prayer
Thursday, 8 December 2005
Why God? HELP!
Mood:  sad
Why God? Why is this happening to me?
These desires, these ridiculious temptations
make no sense - why would I give in to them?
am I insane? Can I not think straight? Am I too
stressed that I am falling back into my old ways before I was regenerated? How can I say that I am
regenerated when I go and do these things? It is
SIN. REBELLION. It is insulting to You. It is in-
sulting to her, it is insulting to me that I would
allow myself to fall this way, to abuse my mind
and my election this way. It is wrong. Why; GOd?
This has not been a temptation as of late, until recently....God; what can I do? I cannot believe
that I have been so blind and evil that I would
do these things that are shameful even to the world.
But I know you're there. I know why I did it.
Because I am a sinner, plain and simple. I am
depraved. I have been saved by grace, and am now
a child of God who should be ACTING as such, but I
am not because I will always be a sinner and I
will always wrestle against my flesh until the day
I die. I know that this corruption must put on
incorruption, and thereby I will become perfected on
the last day; I know that God is going to complete
me. I was made whole on Calvary, "By His stripes we are healed."
I know that the difference between myself and the
unregenerate is that I deny myself, and declare
that in me no good thing dwells, except for the
spirit of God who has made my body a temple; a temple that I have defiled with my thoughts and
actions. You word says that if "we confess our
sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us of "
them, and to cleanse us from ALL unrighteousness."
I declare that thatis true. I know that you have
forgiven me through the merits of Christ, I know
that His righteousness is counted for my own.
What a saviour! What a God! To think that I can
share in the blessings that come from being the
only righteous man who ever lived; what a blessing!
God; I confess my sins, this is evident. I deny them.
I accept you as the one whose blood cleanses me
from all sin and unrighteousness. God; I can't live this life without you. Help me to understand what I
need to do to live a Holy and blameless life that
will reflect your Glory, for I am ashamed and I am worthless.
In the name of Jesus
Amen

Posted by planet/nevereveragain at 9:22 AM EST
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Friday, 13 January 2006 - 12:09 AM EST

Name: myself

Why do I repent now? why do I not repent when the thoughts are only in my mind? why do I wait and entertain them in my thoughts? WHY?? Why do I not repent while in the act, for Christ KNOWS and SEES ALL and to HIM I must hold myself accountable. O the wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me from this flesh of death? For I am ashamed and have no right to live, I have cursed my life and my God in this, I ahve cursed the one I love, WHY??
Why can I not escape from this TORTURE that I voluntarily put myself through????

Friday, 13 January 2006 - 12:11 AM EST

Name: myself

GOD REDEEM ME IN THE NAME OF JESUS and SAVE ME FROM BLOODGUILT

Psa 51:1 PSALM 51
To the Chief Musician. A Psalm of David when Nathan the prophet went to him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba.
HAVE mercy upon me, O God,
According to Your lovingkindness;
According to the multitude of Your tender mercies,
Blot out my transgressions.
Psa 51:2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
And cleanse me from my sin.

Psa 51:3 For I acknowledge my transgressions,
And my sin is always before me.
Psa 51:4 Against You, You only, have I sinned,
And done this evil in Your sight--
That You may be found just when You speak,*
And blameless when You judge.

Psa 51:5 Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,
And in sin my mother conceived me.
Psa 51:6 Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts,
And in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom.

Psa 51:7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Psa 51:8 Make me hear joy and gladness,
That the bones You have broken may rejoice.
Psa 51:9 Hide Your face from my sins,
And blot out all my iniquities.

Psa 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Psa 51:11 Do not cast me away from Your presence,
And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.

Psa 51:12 Restore to me the joy of Your salvation,
And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.
Psa 51:13 Then I will teach transgressors Your ways,
And sinners shall be converted to You.

Psa 51:14 Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
The God of my salvation,
And my tongue shall sing aloud of Your righteousness.
Psa 51:15 O Lord, open my lips,
And my mouth shall show forth Your praise.
Psa 51:16 For You do not desire sacrifice, or else I would give it;
You do not delight in burnt offering.
Psa 51:17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit,
A broken and a contrite heart--
These, O God, You will not despise.

Psa 51:18 Do good in Your good pleasure to Zion;
Build the walls of Jerusalem.
Psa 51:19 Then You shall be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness,
With burnt offering and whole burnt offering;
Then they shall offer bulls on Your altar.

Sunday, 15 January 2006 - 10:43 PM EST


WHYWHYWHY??? How long will I be depraved? How long will I continue in lawlessness and sin? Why am I even here? Why can I not have victory over my selfish desires??

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