This month is dedicated to what Doctor Doom (or technically the writers of Doctor Doom) does best: Screwing Up Marvel Continuity. This month, one significant event will be our main focus, but we will touch on others here and there. Kinda like Bill Clinton and women. Holy Crap, did I make a Bill Clinton joke?? Is this 1996? I think my jokes have been standing a little too close to the time machine. Speaking of...

• In Doom's very first appearance, he introduces something that will forever alter the Marvel Universe in a way that makes it at sometimes incomprehensible. That device is not the Heli-shark-tor; it is the Time Platform. Now I don't know if you know much about time travel, but when you do it, you screw things up... watch Butterfly Effect. In this issue, the Thing goes back in time only to become Black Beard, but if he is Black Beard, how did they know who Blackbeard was during the part of the issue before they went back in time and Ben became Blackbeard? See what I'm saying... no? Jesus, I'm not gone baby you into it. The point is that it can't happen logically, so Marvel had to explain it. Here's what they say, "Every time that someone breaks the time barrier and alters the past, a new timeline is started, so there are literally a bazillion timelines. We know it's ridiculous," unquote. So there is probably as timeline out there where Doom rips Squirrel Girl's intestines out through her nostrils when she messes with him... I wanna read that timeline.

• Okay, you're a super genius with sever narcissism. What would you do? I say spend way too much money on hair gel, but Doom says make super elaborate robots duplicates of yourself... both equally ego-enhancing. These robots have been responsible for some of the most bumble-headed appearances in the Marvel Universe, but they do give a convenient out for us Doom fans. We just say that the appearance was a Doombot and we win any nacho cheese driven fanboy debate brought upon us. Meh. Either way, these guys running around cause quite a bit of confusion. You can only imagine if one day Britney Spears announced that she has all along been at home tending to her children while her Brit-bot was gallivanting about town making a mockery of her good name. You'd be surprised and a little freaked out... especially knowing you've been spending hours searching the Internet for Robot upskirts.

• Who came up with this? First I'm gonna give you a little history of what the Acts of Vengeance were:

The crossover's primary plot revolved around a group of supervillains (Doctor Doom (revealed to be a Doombot, though the real Doom may have attended on occasion), Kingpin, Magneto, Mandarin, Red Skull, and the Wizard) who were convinced by a mysterious stranger (Loki) to join forces in a conspiracy to convince lesser villains to attack superheroes who were not their normal adversaries.

That sounds great on paper but in reality, all the Doombots in every comic just messed up Doom's continuity and we never knew what was going on. Is he in Space? Is he in Limbo? Is that Doom Kristoff? Is that a Doombot? Why is the Punisher wearing lederhosen (see picture A)? All these question were raised.

First off, we can tell a few things. We are almost positive that Doom was with Kang during the whole Acts of Vengeance, so most if not all of the appearances were Doombots.

I pray to God that the Doom appearing in Punisher 28-29 was a Doombot. In this issue alone we see the following things.

• Doom looks like a bumbling maniac when conversing with the Kingpin. He gets all school-yardish and basically says, "You can't take out the Punisher, but I can." And the Kingpin is like, "Prove it, " and Doom is like, "I will, Douche Bag."
• Doom uses the false name "Joe Spiff" in order to lure out the Punisher... seriously. This Doom is shown to be a Doombot, but I'm pretty sure it was sent by another Doombot... who knows.
• The Punisher goes to find Doom and finds Kristoff. Poor Frank is as confused as us. If only he had known this little nugget of knowledge; You can always tell Kristoff from the real Doom by looking at his Codpiece (see picture B).
• The Punisher tricks Doom (not Kristoff) by giving him a painting that has been crappily scanned reproduced by Mimi form the Drew Carey Show.

A.

B.