Squirrel Girl has had only one run in with our gracious Master as of yet, in the Winter 1991 Marvel Super-Heroes (officially Vol. 2, No. 8) in an Iron Man inventory story plotted and drawn by the blasphemous Steve Ditko with a script by the evil Will Murray. In this adventure, dubbed with the title of "The Coming of Squirrel Girl!", she ambushes Iron Man in an attempt to convince him to take her on as his partner. He isn't convinced, even after seeing Squirrel Girl's amazing powers (jumping, climbing, prehensile tail, ability to talk to squirrels... I think I'm going to throw up). I myself am not convinced either.

The Thing...... oh, the Thing. What can I say that has not already been said? He is the brawn to Reed's brain. He is the comic relief in a sometimes very unfunny family. Out of the entire Fantastic Four, he alone should understand the Master's grief. Look at him. Reed did this to him just as Reed scarred the Master's face. This alone leads one to believe that the Master would spare his life, but one should not think so quickly.     The Thing is responsible for what has come to be known, amongst Fantastic Four fans, as the worst defeat given to the Master. Let's get one thing straight, the Master does not get defeated. He only becomes temporarily set back.     In Fantastic Four #40, Doom gets a little surprise from the Thing. Doom is just sitting there, minding his own business, when the Thing just up and CRUSHES... DOOM'S... HANDS! Jesus!!! This just goes to show that the Thing has no morals. Doom did not concussion blast him in the face or kick him in the nuts or anything. The Thing had no grounds for crushing Doom's hands. Well, Doom did take over the Baxter Building while the Fantastic Fours were powerless... and basically almost kills Daredevil, but CRUSH DOOM'S HANDS?!?

Honestly!! Is the Thing some kind of mobster? Who crushes someone's hands?   Well, Doom got his revenge, somewhat, in Fantastic Four #60. Doom usually does not resort to physical violence, but Doom was really, really pissed (you would be too, if you just lost the Power Cosmic and it was all because of the big orange guy who crushed your hands and his bathtub riding buddies). They slug it out for a while until Doom is getting ready to deliver the final blow and Doom decides to let him live. Doom goes and chases after a spaceship. Doom showed compassion where the Thing did not. WWDD?    Given his many actions in the past, the Thing is on the Latveria's Most Wanted list. He is a repeat offender. He will eventually be apprehended, and when that happens, the Master will give him that kick in the nuts he so rightly deserves.

4. Zorba

Real Name: Zorba (last name unknown, possibly Haasen; see comments) Identity/Class: Human cyborg; Latverian citizen, C-list Marvel character Occupation: Traitor Group Membership: Formerly Latverian Underground/Freedom Fighters (Koro, Kronar);     formerly the Royal Family of Latveria Affiliations: Agent-Z, Starn (advisor), formerly the Fantastic Four (Human Torch, Invisible Girl, Mr. Fantastic, Thing); utilized The Master's Killer Robots for deeds we need not mention here Known Relatives: Rudolfo (older brother); Dimitri Fortunov (possible grand-nephew) Aliases: King Zorba, Prince Zorba, One-eyed monster Base of Operations: Formerly Castle Doom, Latveria;     formerly the catacombs beneath Castle Doom and an underground grotto in Latveria Powers/Abilities: Zorba wore a cybernetic eye to replace his lost organic right one. He could fire a "nega-beam blast" (which Doom invented) from this eye. He had some experience with combat and paramilitary strategy.

Our cycolptic friend was supposedly a prince of Latveria when the Master regained control of the country. I know this to be untrue considering Doom has been the only true monarch of Latveria, so Zorba's title is worthless. Either way, his story goes like this:

      Reed Richards (yes, Richards. Read on for another reason Richards is on the list) sought to assault Doom's Latverian castle, but his ship was shot down and he crashed into a small body of water (take that, stretch). Reed was recovered by Zorba's men (now numbering only 50) and Zorba revealed Doom's plot and convinced Reed to join him in an effort to depose Doom. Reed's powers helped Zorba and a small group of Freedom Fighters to approach the Castle seemingly undetected, gain entrance to its interior, and take out several guards. The others were then dropped with a gas attack, but Reed managed to pull Zorba to safety. They then ran into Hauptmann II--brother to the one who had experimented on Zorba--and they were able to coerce his cooperation (don't worry; he gets his). Reed then disguised himself as Hauptmann and approached Doom, who saw through his disguise, knocked him out, and captured him (Eat it, Richards).

    Zorba gathered a group of Latverian citizens and demanded an audience with Doom. Zorba intended to reveal Doom's plot to replace himself with a clone to continue his rule of Latveria (pure speculation of course). Doom fired an energy blast at Zorba, but when the traitor led the Underground to aim their weapons at the castle, Doom appeased the crowd by assuring them that he would give up power at the upcoming coronation.

    Later, at the ceremony, Zorba secretly made his way into the castle, where he managed to free the captured Fantastic Four. Alongside the Four, Zorba rushed into the ceremony and revealed Doom's successor as a clone (Which there is nothing wrong with. Princes are just clones of their father technically. What's the difference?). Doom unleashed his Omni-Bots against his foes, but Doom's clone then turned against his progenitor, attacking him. Doom slew his own clone (ungrateful little jerk).

    Amidst a crowd of gathered citizens, Zorba denounced Doom's plot as a ruse to maintain leadership, and he demanded that Doom surrender the throne. Doom responded with his vortex machine, which scattered his accusers. Zorba escaped and rejoined the Fantastic Four, assisting them in their search for the details of Doom's master plan. Ultimately, the FF set-back the Master, driving him temporarily insane. As a result, Zorba was crowned King of Latveria...until the intended elections in the next month.

::UPDATE:: Zorba is Dead!!
    Zorba revoked Doom's laws, but also his threats of punishments, and Latveria was reintroduced to crime, as well as poverty and hunger. Prices rose without reason and stocks were depleted without replacement (this proves my point that Doom's way is the best way). The people were furious with Zorba who obviously could not rule as well as their previous Master.

    Doom eventually built up enough force to make a return to Latveria. Doom marched upon Latveria and regained his rightful title as Monarch (the Fantastic Four tagged along and killed a few Doombots, but ultimately it was all Doom). Zorba went ape-crap and turned the now reprogrammed Doombots on the Latverian citizens (what a psycho).

    As the Fantastic Four overcame the robots, Doom confronted Zorba, easily countering his nega-beam blast, stunning the cycloptic psycho. Doom then grabbed Zorba by the neck, hung him over a balcony, and accused him of treason. Zorba responded that he was the only true heir to the monarchy of Latveria and that as long as he lived, Doom had no claim to the throne. Doom's response? "Precisely."

    Doom then returned to the Fantastic Four, revealed the conflict to be over and directed the Four to leave his country immediately. Till this day, when asked to comment on Zorba's death, the Master replies, "He fell."
 

5. Dr. Hauptmann II

Real Name: Dr. Hauptmann (first name unrevealed, but I'm guessing it's Terd) Identity/Class: Human (World War II and modern era), technology user, Internet porn addict Occupation: Scientist Group Membership: Cynthian Associates Affiliations: Formerly Boris, Dr. Doom, Mr. Fantastic, and Zorba Known Relatives: Hauptman I (brother, deceased) Aliases: None Base of Operations: Castle Doom, Doomstadt, Latveria Powers/Abilities: Hauptmann was a genius, highly skilled at designing and working with the advanced technology of Dr. Doom.

    Hauptmann always hated Doom for killing his brother (typical), but his fear was stronger than his hate. Rather than confront Doom about this and talk it out, Hauptmann stabbed the Master in the back, trapping him in the past with Iron-Man. Needless to say, Doom returned to the present and kicked Hauptman right in the nuts as a warning for his insolence.

::UPDATE:: Hauptmann II is Dead!!

    Did Hauptmann learn from his kick in the nuts? No!! Doom assigned Hauptmann to the task of attempting to duplicate the means by which Doom had gained the powers of the Silver Surfer (Doom gave him a second chance. He blew it). Hauptmann notified Doom that he had completed the process and welcomed him to try it out. Doom instead grabbed Hauptmann and told him that he deserved the honor himself. Doom locked Hauptmann inside the chamber and activated it, ignoring Hauptmann's screams. Raw energy poured forth into Hauptmann, far beyond the human body's capacity to absorb. Hauptmann screamed with every last atom of breath in his tortured lungs, until there was nothing left to scream with. As Doom plucked Hauptmann's glasses from a pile of ashes, he commented that he had suspected the power might be too unstable for a human body, and that Hauptmann's eagerness had confirmed this. Doom knew that had Hauptmann truly succeeded, he would have already used the machine on himself.

Till this day, when asked to comment on Hauptmann's death, the Master replies, "He fell."

6. The Electric Company

Real Names: Julie, Dwayne, Iris, Jesse, Zack, Kathy, Kelly, Buddy, Charlie, Samatha, Gail, Allison, Who gives a flying crap, Are you still reading? Identity/Class: Hippies, Jive Turkeys Occupation: Electricians / Muscicians Affiliations:Spider-Man, Fat Albert and the Junkyard Gang Known Relatives: Everyone in NYC is somehow connected to one member of The Electric Company Aliases: 70's crap Base of Operations: New York Powers/Abilities: Singing, making books enjoyable, talking jive, breaking down the barriers of race.

Hey You Guys!!!!!!! Doom has had many attempts at world domination. Many of them foiled by the insolent Electric Company. Bill Cosby's gang of misfits always manage to foil Doom and make reading fun at the same time. Although Doom's English has an accent attached to it, there is no need to constantly throw phonics at him. Doom knows all... including phonics. Read May 2006's Supreme Act of the Month for more of Doom's run ins with the Electric Company. Supreme Act of the Month: May They will be punished. P...u...n...i...s...h...e...d  : Punished. Hey Electric Company, this write up was brought to you by the letters F and U.