Doom's Supreme Acts

Marvel Comics and The Electric Company (Yes, The Electric Company... I crap you not) Present:

Spidey Super Stories #31

STAR JAWS

    Okay, we all know this. Star Wars stole most of the character traits for Darth Vader from Doctor Doom. We forgive them for that because Darth Vader is an awesome character... even if he was stolen. But for this issue of Spidey Super Stories, there will be no forgiveness. I mean, Lucas stole ideas from Marvel, why not have Marvel Steal Lucas' ideas. One good turn deserves another, right? WRONG!! It could not get much wronger. Let me explain. You will agree... trust me.

This story will sound familiar. I can sound that cocky because it is the plot to Star Wars (sorta) and this page is a page dedicated to a comic book character... I know you've seen the film. This story is not bad because it is the plot to Star Wars, oh no, it is bad because of the subtle differences. I will outline a few.

Characters:

Doctor Doom = Darth Vader (Okay, innocent enough of a change) Moon Dragon = Princess Leia (a bald Leia, but Leia nonetheless)

R2D2 and C3PO = The Sesame Street Robot.... (What the H***??!!!! Okay when the Sesame Street Robot shows up, you know it's gonna be bad) Spider Man = Luke Skywalker or Obi Wan (He's Kind of a mix of the two)

These are just the Character representations. Let me explain some plot twists (Notice: If I don't mention a change, chances are, it is the same as in the film Star Wars... I mean they actually fly around in the Millennium Falcon for God's sake).

Plot:

1. Instead of Han shooting Greedo at the Cantina, Marvel Boy Blinds and Punches out a Frog Guy for calling him a Baby for ordering Milk at a restaurant (you just have to read this, I'm not making it up). 2. Spider-Man and Marvel Boy dress up like Doom's robots and take the monkey prisoner in order to free Moon Dragon... okay, that is just like Star Wars, but I had to include it to... to... I don't know. I just did.

3. Doom and Spidey get into a Lightsaber fight on Doom's ship... Again, just like Star Wars, but too funny to leave out.

 

4. Okay, here is where the Supreme Act of the Month comes in... Are you ready?? Are you Sure?? Positive? Here it goes...

Doctor Doom has a ship shaped exactly like the Death Star, but instead of destroying planets... are you ready... it opens up it's big mouth and eats them. Doom plans on... you sure you're ready... having his "Star Jaws" eat Earth. TA DA!!!!!

If that's not Supreme, don't tell me something that is. I'll crap my pants with excitement. That's right, Doom wants to Eat Earth. The comic never explains why Doom wants to do this, but I'm guessing it's because he can.

So are you convinced?? Supreme enough for you?

I guess you're wondering how Doom is defeated. Well, Spidey and his friend escape in the Millennium Falcon, Doom plans on taking his Star Jaws to earth to eat it, they get a huge crate of TNT (Yep, TNT. Apparently Wile E. Coyote had a huge novelty box of it lying around), they put the TNT in Space and Moon Dragon makes it look like earth, Star Jaws eats it and explodes...

Fin.

There is so much more I could say. Things so hilarious they would (to quote my good friend Victor Cardigan) "Break the Internet in Half," but I won't spoil it all for you. You need this issue. I don't care what you have to do to get it. No matter how repulsive the act, do it. You'll hate yourself worse for not having this issue. Trust me. And as always...

**NOTE**
 

Easy Reader is a lying sack of crap. This comic almost tore my stomach lining. It is soooo not easy for a Doom fan to read. Curse you Morgan Freeman and your hypnotizing voice. Get busy dyin'!!

 
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