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Chinese Jokes & Humor

Police Officers Are Just Human Beings
Police officers, believe it or not, ARE human. They come in both sexes, but mostly male. They also come in various sizes. This sometimes depends on whether you are looking for one or trying to hide something. However, they are mostly big.
Police officers are found everywhere, on land, on sea, in the air, on horses, and sometimes in your hair. In spite of the fact that "you can't find one when you want one," they are usually there when it counts most. The best way to get one is to pick up the nearest phone. Police officers deliver lectures, babies, and bad news. They are required to have the wisdom of Solomon, the disposition of a lamb and muscles of steel, and are often accused of having a heart to match. He is the one who rings the doorbell, swallows hard, and announces the passing of a loved one, then spends the rest of the day wondering why he took such a crummy job.
Police officers on television, are oafs who couldn't find a bull fiddle inside a telephone booth. In real life, he is expected to find a little blonde boy "about so high" in a crowd of a half million people, In fiction he gets his help from "private eyes," reporters and "who-dun-it" fans. In real life, mostly all he gets from the public is "I didn't see nuttin." When he serves a summons, he is a monster. If he lets you go, he is a "Doll." To little kids, he is either a friend or a "boogey-man" depending on how the parents feel about it. Police officers work around the clock, split shifts, Sundays, and holidays,and it always kills him when a joker says, "Hey, tomorrow is election day, I'm off, let's go fishing." (That is the day he works 20 hours.)
When a police officer is good, he is a "grafter, and that goes for the rest of them too." When he shoots a stick-up man, he is a hero, except when the stick-up man is only a kid, "anybody coulda seen that." Police officers have homes, some of them are covered with ivy, but most of them mortgages. If he drives a big car, he's a chiseler; a little car -- "who is he kidding?" His credit is good; that is very helpful, because his salary isn't.
Police officers raise lots of kids; mostly they belong to other people. Police officers see more misery, bloodshed, trouble and sunrises that the average person. Like the postman, the police officer must be in all kinds of weather. His uniform changes with the climate, but his outlook on life remains the same; mostly a blank, but always hoping for a better world. Police officers like days off, vacations and coffee. They don't like auto horns, family fights and anonymous letter writers. They have an Association, but they do not strike. They must be impartial, courteous and always remember the slogan, "at your service." This is sometimes hard, especially when some character reminds him, "I'm a taxpayer, I pay your salary." Police officers get medals for saving lives, stopping runaway horses, and shooting it out with bandits (once in a while his widow gets the medal). But sometimes the most rewarding moment comes when, after some small kindness to a person, he feels the warm handclasp, looks into grateful eyes, and hears, "thank you and God bless you, son."
"Author Unkown"

Contributed by: ROBIN2507