Bob works in the printing industry. A lot goes on in a print shop: graphic design, negative developing, printing, binding, folding, cutting. Lots of big machines. The company Bob worked in was small, and space was at a premium. The binders and printers and cutters often had to eat among the equipment they operated.

Bob was talking with Ed, who was running the folding machine that day. Stacks of paper were all around, weighing several hundred pounds. As Bob was talking, Ed leaned over to reach into the folder, and suddenly screamed in agony. Oh, God! though Bob, He’s caught in the folding machine! But as Bob jumped to help him, Ed straightened up, seemingly with all fingers and hands intact. He reached around to his posterior, from which protruded a large, and horribly bent fork. He ripped it out of his rear, and with a grunt/scream, threw it across the room.

Apparently, Ed had eaten lunch by the folder that day. He’d left his fork on the table next to the folding machine, with the handle against the piles of paper, and the tines sticking out towards the folder. When he bent over, he encountered the fork, which sadly, also bent, but not quickly enough to avoid becoming a part of Ed’s anatomy. Bob burst out laughing. Not that he is a mean person, mind you, but imagine the stress that comes with believing your co-worker has been mangled in a machine, but then you discover it’s simply a fork sticking out of his ass. You’d laugh in relief, too.

People came running to see what was wrong, of course. Why had Ed screamed in pain, and why was Bob laughing. As the story leaked out, the laughter became contagious. For everyone except Ed, of course. Bob staggered into his boss’ office. As he relayed the story, his boss’ face began to crumple, and wrinkled until he, too, was guffawing, tears pouring down his face.

The whole shop worked together to commemorate the event, and also, to show that it was no big deal that Ed now had four extra orifices in his posterior. So he wouldn’t have hard feelings, they gave him a custom-made t-shirt with the photo of the fork on it. And as for the fork, they had it mounted on an awards plaque, entitled, the "Pain in the Ass" award.

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The Art of Being Human