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The  Rules

  • Rule Thirteen:
  • Grace under pressure.

    Hi. This is Nikki. Leave a message.

    Hi, Nikki. This is Mike. I met you tonight at
    the Dresden. I, uh, just called to say I, uh, had
    a really great time and you should call me tomorrow,
    or, like, in two days, whatever. My number is

    Many, many calls later...

    Hi, Nikki. Mike. I don't think this is working out.
    I think you're great, but maybe we should take
    some time off from each other. It's not you, really,
    it's me. It's only been six months...

    (live, in person. She picks up the line.)

    Nikki! Great! Did you just walk in, or were you
    listening all along?

    Don't ever call me again.

    Wow, I guess you were home...

    Our generation is the first to be presented with the challenge of the answering machine. A good message can put you on the fast track to paradise, a bad one can lead to public ridicule and endless playbacks to the delight of family and friends. The stakes are high. This is no joke.

    The golden rule is keep it simple. Don't try to overexplain who you are or how you're feeling. It's a moment frozen in amber. It's a small piece of your soul. Give her a taste--the little pink spoon, not the whole sundae.

    Rule #12|Rule #14
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