ChapterForty - Hospital pillow talks
Victor smiled as he saw Nikki had fallen asleep, he could hear it by the way her breaths - ragged from tears before had calmed down and became steady and quiet.
He had hoped she would open up to him but knew her well enough to know it would come too, and what she needed now was more of his support and less of his questions, although it was so hard for him to see her looking so sad, and he was worried she was in pain as well, but at least for now she seemed to be resting comfortably.
Still drowsy from his medications Victor fell back to sleep...
An hour later Doctor Cameron entered the room to check on his patients and smiled when he saw them in each other arms, he got out and closed the door behind him.
He was a new doctor on the GC memorial staff and didn’t know either of them very well, but somehow, he was sure they would be alright...
Around 5:00 Victor woke up again to the sound of Nikki’s voice...Nikki, still lying on the top of him stirred, ...and sent a well directed elbow to his ribs in the process...
He gently eased her off him...she didn’t wake but snuggled against him in the bed, and mumbled something against his chest he couldn’t quiet make out...he stroked her face tenderly , and she fell back into a peaceful sleep.
He looked down at her, snuggled against him, her golden hair covering her face, and was overcome with a feeling of love....
He remembered all of those times they spent just like that when they were married... he smiled and touched her face gently, tracing it with his fingers from her forehead to lips and to her jaw line...
She had looked almost exactly like the 20 years old free spirit girl he met all those years ago, in a red sparkling outfit, dancing at the bayou.
He never imagined how much that girl would have control over his heart in the years to come, and yet, here they were...
Feeling her so close to him felt so good, even better then what he thought it would be, he had missed that, missed *her* so much, he didn’t realize how much until the moment they said those “I love you” again, it had been so long since he heard her admit it to him, he knew it was partly his fault...It had been even longer ever since he admitted it to her....
As if feeling him looking at her, Nikki opened her eyes, turned her head and looked stright into his eyes.
Victor whispered “Good morning....”
Nikki gave out a little smile “Hmm...Mornin’.... what time is it?”
Victor said “I’m not really sure, very early in the morning, I think...”
Nikki yawned and asked with a smile“Oh...have you been awake the entire time...watching over me?”
Victor shook his head with a smile “I just woke up myself...”
Nikki said a little sadly “Good, at least that” she looked away.
Victor tried to turn around to the side to talk to her, but the pain in his ribs - even though he felt much better - was still very much there, so he pulled himself up against the pillow...
Nikki set down and asked him with concern “Oh Victor, Are you sure you should?”
He nodded and set in the bed, leaning against the pillow, assessing just how he is doing and smiled to her “Yes, I’m sure I should, I need to get out of that bed, and you should stop worry so much”
Nikki claimed “Can you blame me? you really scared me last night”
Victor looked at her guiltily “I know I did, I’m sorry about that, I know I worried you...I didn’t mean to scare you”
Nikki said “I know you didn’t... but I could see how bad you were feeling and you wouldn’t listen to a word I said!”
Victor smiled at her “Well, I listened to you at the end, haven’t I?”
Nikki glared at him “Yes, after you nearly passed out...” She shook her head at him “You can be so impossible sometimes”
Victor grinned at her “I thought you liked that about me”
Nikki looked at him sideways and couldn’t help but smile, he could be the most charming men on the face of the earth “Hmmm, on occasion” she answered with a little smile..
Victor looked at her, she looked so adorable, sitting on the bed, wearing an oversized white buttoned shirt and a worn out jeans...smiling at him, but he could see she was still pale and her smile was lacking of it’s usual spark...he touched her cheek softly “So, you want to tell me what happened last night?”
Nikki looked at him innocently “What do you mean?”
Victor glared at her “Don’t start denying it, you were positively miserable when I woke up and I want to know why...”
Nikki tried to tell him “Victor, you know what’s going on right now, it was a long, emotional day and I wasn’t feeling my best, and you woke up at a certain point and...called me into bed with you, and...comforted me and it kinda...released all the...feelings I was holding inside, that’s all” she turned her head away...
Victor sent his head to her chin and turned her head to face him, Nikki lowered her eyes...
He said “You know, I could believe that but I think there is something else beside that...”
Nikki shook her head “I don’t...I don’t really want to talk about it...let it go, okay?”
Victor insisted “But I don’t want to let it go...I don’t want to pressure you to tell me but I want to help...”
Nikki looked at him and got in between him arms, leaning her forehead against his chest, and then looked up at him “I know you do...it’s just that, I already know what you’re going to say so there’s no point”
Victor continued to look at her with a questioning look...
Tears in her eyes, she whispered “It was my fault...”
Victor looked at her, confused “What is?”
Nikki whispered “Everything.. the accident, Nicholas finding out, it wouldn’t have happened had I paid any kind of attention to the road”
Victor tried to reassure her “Nikki...”
Nikki cut him off “Nikki what? It’s true...”
Victor put his arms on her back and pulled her closer to him and whispered in her ear “What can I say to make you forget about it? These things happens, okay? You got a lot of your mind and Nicholas is okay, and I’m okay...I can’t believe this is what made you react this way...”
Nikki said, a bit irritated “I knew you would laugh it off”
Victor hugged her “But I’m not laughing it off, I’m just trying to make you feel better, I know I do this morning...much of it because of you...lying like that with you in my arms, felt so good...I had hoped it would make you feel better as well”
Nikki touched his cheek “It did, it *does*, God... the moment I got into this bed last night, the moment you put your arms around me, the moment I felt your heart thudding against my own, it just made me feel so much better...
I didn’t cry because....I was sad or unhappy, I cried because you made me feel so much better that all of those feelings went away, my arm didn’t even hurt as much as it did before...It was the bes.... the second best moment of the entire day...” She ended the sentence with a smile...Victor cupped her face with his hands, lifting her head up till their mouths were only inches apart and leaned down kiss her softly, longingly.... and then rested his forehead against hers “For me too...”
Nikki smiled, tears in her eyes “Good...”
Victor sent his hands down toward her lower back, wanting to pull her even closer into his embrace.
His hand brushed against her right arm very lightly, but it was enough for her to gasp in pain, Victor looked at her with concern “I thought you said your arm was getting better”Nikki, still grimacing said “Ou.... I meant it felt better, last night when I got into bed with you... it most definitely hurt now...”
Victor asked “Well, did you talk to the doctor about it? Maybe he’ll give you a stronger medication or something....”
Nikki said carefully, knowing he is about to disagree with her “Yes, I talked to the doctor”
Victor asked “And...?”
Nikki said “Victor, I’m not taking what he *did* prescribe, I did yesterday but not even since the afternoon, that’s why it hurts...”
Victor’s brow furrowed “Well, why not?”
Nikki wrinkled her nose, as if assessing his reaction and said “Promise me you won’t try to fight me over this...”
Victor answered “I’m not promising you anything until you tell me...”
Nikki rolled her eyes, she should have known better than even asking him something like that “I’m not taking the pain medication because I’m not comfortable with pain medication for a long period of time...I mean... ever since my addiction the strongest stuff I took was aspirin, and now the doctor prescribed those pills for me, I just feel... I just don’t want to take it... he prescribed me a pill every 6 hours and I ...I don’t want it”
Victor listened and said “Well, I do understand your reluctance but isn’t it considerably less stronger then what you took back then?”
Nikki nodded and said “Yes but I am still afraid of any kind of strong pain killers, I rather have my hand hurt a little while rather than do something I’m so uncomfortable with...”
Victor kissed her forehead and asked her “What did the doctor say about it? Did he agree with you?”
Nikki shook her head “No, not really, he was about to prescribe me more because he saw I was in pain, and then I told him I wasn’t planning to take it at all...he didn’t like it very much, but he didn’t fight with me....and I hope you won’t either”
Victor looked at her skeptically “Well, I don’t want to, but I don’t like to see you suffer, especailly if there is no reason for it...do me a favor and think about it?”
Nikki nodded “I will, I promise...” She kissed him and then rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, enjoying the moment...
Victor asked her, leaning back against the pillow “So, what did you make of Nicholas last night?”
Nikki looked up at him “I was glad to see him, that’s for sure, he looked okay...but his eyes...I’m afraid for him, that he is losing hope...are you going to talk to Doctor Haming today?”
Victor nodded “Yes, the moment I can get out of here, it’s too early to call now... by now she should have some idea how Amy is doing after her encounter with Matt Clark, I just wish I had the chance to talk to her yesterday”
Nikki said reassuringly “Victor, there is nothing you could have done yesterday, you could barely walk, and I’m not sure at all Doctor Cameron will let you out of here so soon”
Victor said “Don’t worry, I can convince him and if not, I’ll just walk out”
Nikki shook her head “Oh no you won’t, not again, wait till the doctor says you can, and I don’t think you can convince him if he doesn’t think you should, somehow he doesn’t strike me as much of a pushover...if you need to stay here I can always go over to the clinic, and I have to admit, I want to see Amy”
Victor looked down at her “Yes, I remember you were fond of her, she’s a sweet girl”
Nikki looked at him and shook her head with disgust “I do not understand it, where *are* her parents?”
Victor shrugged “Her mother is out of the united state with her new husband, and I haven’t got a clue as for her father’s whereabouts, I haven’t been able to contact even one of them, and her friends in school said she didn’t mention any other family members”
Nikki shook her head sadly “That is so sad, poor child...”
Victor said sadly “Yes, I can’t imagine a situation of one of our children going through something like that and neither of us are around...it’s upsets me just to think about”
Nikki nodded thoughtfully... Victor glanced down at her “You’re thinking of something, what is it?”
Nikki turned and leaned against him gently and he wrapped his hands around her from behind, as she leaned her head on him “Oh, I was thinking about our daughter...”
Victor sighed “Yes, I was about to ask you if you’ve seen her last night”
Nikki nodded “Yea, she came over to the main house, we had a good talk, maybe our best in a long time...I think she’s going through a lot of changes right now...”
Victor asked her “Is she and Cole alright?”
Nikki shrugged “I’m not sure, the honeymoon is definitely over, she complained about not getting enough attention from him. I don’t know, I don’t want to meddle and they seemed like they were talking about things so I really don’t want to say anything to him...and I can’t imagine it’s all his fault, although every time I see him he is deep into his writing...I sure hope they work things out”
Victor planted a kiss on the side of her head and asked “You said you had a good talk, in what way?”
Nikki smiled “I don’t know, it’s Victoria, she doesn’t always let her feelings known, and she was very sweet and tender and open last night... sometimes....”
Victor asked her, frowning “Sometimes what?”
Nikki said sadly “Sometimes I have to wonder how much of that is our fault, as a child she was the most open little girl in the world, she told us everything and she hardly ever does it anymore, and I don’t think it’s just about growing up and separating herself from us, she’s out of her teenager years, all of that should be over with, sometimes I get the feeling she’s distancing herself from us because we hurt her so much”
Victor sighed in pain “I know what you mean, and I know we can’t change it now...we can’t turn back time”
Nikki lifted her head and looked at him and reached out to caresses his cheek “I know we can’t...but we can definitely make a new beginning... and after last night, I think that we need to tell Victoria the truth, and soon, otherwise she would figure it out all on her own...”
Victor smiled down at her “Why do you say that?”
Nikki explained “Well, she helped me change into my nightgown last night and when saw what I had on before she asked me how I managed all the buttons, and I just told her you helped me and she looked at me with this big grin and started asking questions...”
Victor laughed “I can only imagine...”
Nikki waved her hand dismissively “Well, I managed to sidetrack her, but I think we should think on when to tell her...”
Her expression changed and she said sadly “I wanted to tell her and Nicholas together... to have a big celebration and just tell them that we’re...together now, I want to make it so right...” She ended the sentence with a wishfull expression..
Victor said “I know you did sweetheart, but you know, we might not be able to”
Nikki nodded “I know that...I just...lets talk to the psychiatrist, see how Amy is doing and if she remembers something that might help with Nicholas...and then we can make a decision... if there’s any chance we can make it right - I want to do it”
Victor caresses her hair and told her “You know, we can still tell both of them, on the next visitation day”
Nikki shook her head “No, no, I don’t want to do it like that, he would feel like he is missing out on so much...this is the last thing I want to do”
Victor said thoughtfully “You have a point, okay, you’re right, lets see what Doctor Haming has to say...”
Nikki turned to him and said “Yea, I think it might be best...”
Victor nodded distractedly...
Nikki eyed him “Victor?”
Victor looked up at her “Hmmm?”
Nikki commented “I seem to have lost you for a minute...”
Victor said, not looking at her “I was just thinking that....when I asked you what upset you last night, I thought you were going to say something else...”
Nikki asked “Like what?”
Victor was silent and then told her “Well, I thought that you might have regretted what you said”
Nikki looked at him, puzzled “What I said?”
Victor looked down and Nikki with a little questioning smile touched his chin and he looked up at her “Victor... what things I sai...” and then it sank in, she titled her head and looked at him affectionately and said “Oh...you can’t possibly be serious....”
Victor said a little defensively “Well, I wasn’t, I didn’t really think you regretted it... I just”
Nikki, enjoying it a little bit, asked him “You just what?”
Victor said “Wanted to be sure, okay?...boy, you sure love make it hard on me don’t you?”
Nikki couldn’t help but smile as she saw the almost insecure look in his eyes...she stood up in the bed, and holding on to him to balance herself, and set down in between his legs, wrapping her own around his waist, enjoying feeling him a lot closer to her.
She put her arm around his neck and whispered “Hmmm...I do...a little bit...But don’t ever doubt how much I love you...what is happening between us now is the one spot of light in the mess and chaos our lives are in right now”
Victor wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to his direction “And I love you, so very much ...I could have laid hours just watching you asleep, it felt so good having you in bed with me”
Nikki grinned “Oh really?...well, it felt good to me too....I missed you in so many, many ways....”
Victor laughed at the naughty spark in her eyes and captured her lips with a searing kiss, they kissed passionately for a long moment as Nikki slide her feet up and down his lower back and then entwining them together behind his back...
The paused and looked into each other’s eyes and Victor smiled at her and leaned down to kiss her neck.
Nikki’s eyed closed and she mummbled “Oh...I love it when you do that... but... oh...I don’t know if it’s such a good idea...hmmm...”Her voice weakened as his lips made a trail to her base of her throat and she leaned her head back against his hand that was wrapped around her neck....
Suddenly she stopped and cocked her head, making a face, Victor pulled back and asked “Your neck still hurts?” Nikki tried to smile and leaned to his direction again, her lips touching his “Yea... not too bad, where were we?”
Victor whispered “Right here...” and brushed him lips against hers suggestively but eyed her, concerned “But only if you’re sure you’re alright”
Nikki, wanting to forget all about the accident and the nagging pain in her neck and arm and just melt in the heat of his kisses reassured him “I’m fine...” and kissed him hotly, her left arm trailing on his chest...
Victor, as usual, was unable to resist her advances.
He reached out and one hand wrapped around her waist and the other around her neck and bent forward to lay her down on the bed, but with a groan pulled back instantly, letting go of her quickly and placing his hand on his sore ribs... “...I’m sorry sweetheart...”
He grimaced as the sharp pain in his ribs when he leaned down hasn’t subsided yet “It didn’t hurt at all until I leaned down“ He leaned back against the pillow and looked at her...
Nikki straightened up and pulled her legs back, releasing her hold on him, she looked at him - half concerned and half frustrated “Yes, and with the extra weight of holding me like that... Don’t be sorry... you’re injured and so am I....we shouldn’t have let ourselves get carried away like that, we’re not in the best location either, this bed is way too narrow and we can’t lock this door and someone could have walked in...it’s bad idea”
Seeing his disappointed expression she smiled “Well, as in, a bad idea..right now...”
Victor still looked crestfallen and she couldn’t help but giggle and she leaned toward him and planted a kiss on his lips, Victor sighed and pulled her closer... his hands tugged under her shirt and climbed up her back, Nikki moaned in response and said “Victor...didn’t we just say it was a bad idea?...”
Victor whispered “Well, I’m not trying to make love to you...”
Nikki whimpered “Hmmm... sure feels that way to me....”
Victor pulled back and said seriously... or at least, trying to sound serious “But I’m not...I mean, just because love making is a little too...strenuous for us right now... doesn’t mean I can’t tell you how beautiful you look...and how sexy...”
He looked at her with admiration and Nikki rolled her eye “I look terrible but you can lie, that’s okay...”
Victor continued with a smile “And it doesn’t mean I can’t touch you...” He ran his hands down the length of her body as Nikki closed her eyes and muttered “No, it definitely doesn’t mean that...it better not mean that...”
She opened her eyes and looked at him and said innocently “And there should be no problems....regarding...kissing, for example, right?”
Victor shook his head and said with a smile “Not that I can see...”
Nikki grinned “Good...” and captured his mouth with a kiss, he wrapped his arms around her and neither of them noticed the tall dark headed man who stood in the doorway with a smile until he coughed.
Nikki turned around as if bit by a snake “Cole!”
Cole, standing there, grinned at the “Morning Nikki, Victor....obviously... you’re feeling a lot better...”
Victor and Nikki exchanged glances as Cole looked on, amused...
