Chapter Thirty Nine - Only with him...

Nikki slowly got out of the limo and walked slowly to the ranch, As she was less concerned about Victor she started feeling the impact of the accident on herself as well, in weary steps she got into the house, letting the coat the hung loosely on her shoulders fall on the floor.

Miguel came toward her with a worried expression "Mrs. Abbot, are you okay?"
Nikki nodded wearily "I’m just fine Miguel, just tired and sore..."

Miguel asked "How is Mr Newman?"

Nikki answered "He’s in the hospital, sedated with pain medications..."

She saw Miguel concerned look and said "It really is for the best Miguel, you know him, he would be outside running around instead of letting himself heal, at least he is resting now..."

Miguel noticed her tiredness and demeanor and asked "Would you like me to get you something to eat, drink?"

Nikki shook her head "No, I ate something while I was in the hospital...thanks for offering thou"

She climbed upstairs and headed stright to the bathroom, she went to the Jacuzzi and started filling in the water...she felt very tired and she wanted a good relaxing bath more then anything at the moment, she put some aromatic oils in it and inhaled deeply as the intoxication smell  spread in the room.

As the water filled she undressed, making a face as she took off her sling and shirt, the affect of the pain medication was definitely gone, but she already took almost what she was suppose to for the day, and ever since her addiction she was reluctant to take pain medication at all, much less strong ones.

She got rid of the remainder of her clothes and undid the bandage on her arm, she wanted to sink in the water and her arm wasn’t scratched, only bruised and swollen.

She undid it and winced as she saw it all black and blue.

She got into the hot water and let herself sink into it, the heavy thick foam covered the surface and she let out a big sigh of relief, it felt wonderful.

She tried to adjust herself better into the tub but without thinking, tried to use her right arm which made her cry out in pain, that was not a smart move, she muttered "Oh damn it..." and with her help of her other arm let her hand out of the water to see if it was okay, it almost felt like she had dislocated it again, but it looked fine, just painful.

She let her head lean against the tub and turned the Jacuzzi on, she closed her eyes and let her mind wonder...the water was hot and she could almost fall asleep in there if there hadn’t been a knock on the bathroom door, Nikki, eyes closed called out "Who is it?"

A voice said "It’s Victoria, can I come in?"

Nikki said "Yes honey, come on it"

Vicki opened the door and walked in, she smiled as she saw her mother half asleep in the tub, all covered with foam "You know, it’s risky falling a sleep in a tub"

Nikki muttered through closed eyes "Right now, I couldn’t care less...It feels too good"

Vicki set on the edge of the bath and said "You look beat..."

Nikki opened her eyes and said "I feel beat"

Vicki said concerned "You looked a lot better when I saw you last, should I be getting worried?"

Nikki smiled at her daughter "No, don’t be, everything is okay but my arm is killing me"

Vicki asked with a frown "Does it hurt that much?"

Nikki grimaced "Sometimes it’s fine and then I forget about it and does the wrong movement and it just.. ugh...feels like the moment of the accident all over again"

Vicki said "Oh God mom, it looks horrible!"

Nikki glanced up at her "Thanks"

Vicki said "I’m not kidding...ouch!"

Nikki sighed and said "Hey, Don’t you start feeling sorry for me, if you do I’ll start feeling sorry for myself, which I’m already doing"

Vicki smiled tearfully at her mother "Well, you’re entitled, do you want me to get out of your hairs?"

Nikki said quickly "No, no, not at all, it really helps me you being here sweetheart..."

Vicki smiled  to her "Sure..."

She laughed and brushed away the foam from her mother’s nose.

Nikki grinned at her and blew some of it to her direction, splashing some water with it too.

Vicki stepped away from the edge of the tub "Hey! That’s not fair"

Nikki smiled at her "Sorry, couldn’t resist"

Vicki returned to the edge of the pool and said "Here I am, feeling sorry for my injured mother and you go and do something like this"

Nikki just shrugged and grimaced instantly and rolled her eyes "Ou..."

Vicki looked at her sympathetically "Why won’t you take some more pain killers or something?"

Nikki explained "I really don’t want to take too much of that stuff"

Vicki nodded "Yes, I suppose I can understand why, but mom, it’s nothing like that"

Nikki shook her head  "I know, but still...I would feel better not taking them"

Vicki asked "Even if you’re in pain?"

Nikki nodded "Yea... I’ll take an aspirin when I get out of here, but not what the doctor prescribed, it’s not like what I used to take but... I just don’t want to touch it"

Vicki smiled "Well, okay, if you’re sure....so where is dad? At his place?"

Nikki stiffen and said "No baby... hmmm, he is in the hospital"

Vicki was alarmed "What? What happened? Why didn’t you call me?"

Nikki said in a reassuring voice  "Nothing happened, he was just.... feeling badly, I didn’t want to tell you because I was worried he wouldn’t agree to come with me if you were there too, fussing over him like I was, you know your father..."

Vicki asked frightfully "But... is he...?"

Nikki reassured her "He is fine, he was given a lot of pain medication...it should keep him asleep by
morning, and a good night sleep and rest is what he needs"

Vicki said "Well, I am going there to see him"

Nikki shook her head "No, don’t, you have been through a lot today as well, and he is asleep and will
remain asleep till early morning, go and visit him then"

Vicki said, unconvinced... "Well, I suppose I can do that...I’m almost glad I didn’t go with you"

Nikki wondered "Why?"

Vicki said, thinking back "Well, I just never saw Daddy feeling sick, just that one time when he collapsed a few yearsago and that was really frightening... I’m just so used to him being...I don’t know...strong and in control"

Nikki nodded "I know what you mean, that is probably why he didn’t want you to come with him"

Vicki asked her "We will go to see him in the morning right?"

Nikki nodded "Yes, I truly think it would be best not to go now...you’re tired too, and I bet you want to
go home as well..."

Vicki looked at her mother with a warm smile "Well, do you want me to stay here tonight if you need my help with anything?"

Nikki shook her head with a smile "No thank you sweetheart, I don’t think I will need anything...but, can you get me my robe, it’s right over there...."

Vicki smiled "Sure..."

She handed Nikki her rob as she got out the shower and helped her get into it... "Here you go" she said...

Nikki suddenly wrapped her arms around her daughter lovingly and rested her head on her shoulder...

Vicki sniffed, as sudden emotions threatened to overwhelm her "Mom? Is everything okay?"

Nikki, tears in her eyes nodded and looked at her daughter with love "I’m just thinking how lucky I am to have a daughter like you..."

Vicki hugged her mother "I was really afraid today... I dreaded the thought of losing you... I know I don’t always show you how much I love you, and I know I can be too judgmental and self involved and all that... but I really love you Mom..."

Nikki cried "And I love you, and I know I haven’t been perfect and that I made a lot of mistakes... our relationship is so, so important to me"

Vicki nodded "I haven’t been perfect either...I know I judged you too harshly a lot of times, but it was never because I didn’t care, but just because I do, I just go about it in a wrong way...I love being able to talk to you, I don’t have that many girlfriends and a lot of times you’re about the only person I can talk to, and I don’t... even when I really need it"

Nikki touched her daughter’s face "Yes? Like now? What’s up with you and Cole"

Vicki shook her head slightly, walking away into the bedroom and sitting on the bed "I don’t know, I really don’t..."

Nikki set on the bed and sponged her hair with one hand, flinching as any movement caused her pain, and said to Victoria "Well, everything is okay now, you looked close at the jail, and you went to have lunch together... didn’t that go well?"

Vicki shrugged "I suppose, but I don’t know how long it would last. I told him what I feel earlier, so that shook him up, but we’ve been married for almost 3 years mom, he should be able to see when I’m
feeling down without me saying it, he knows what’s going on with Nicholas and instead of taking a week of his time to be a little more with me, he is even busier and blames it on the deadline"

Nikki said softly "Sweetheart, he does have a deadline"

Vicki said sadly "I know he does, I just need a little attention these days, and I’m not getting it, and I don’t know what to do about it"

Nikki smiled to Victoria "Well, you told Cole how you feel didn’t you? Maybe he got the message and
will be more attentive"

Vicki said "Well, I hope so..."

She looked at her mother and smiled "Now, enough about me...Do you need my help with anything?"

Nikki said "No, I’m just going to put a nightgown on and get into bed, just do me a favor and put what I wore earlier at the laundry basket..."

Nikki pulled a nightgown out of the closet and struggled to get in it as Vicki went back into the bathroom.
When she got back she found Nikki sitting on the bed with a pained expression holding her arm, she told her in a scolding tone of voice "You should have asked me to help you if you’re were pain"

Nikki said "Sweetheart, it would be sore for a few days, I won’t call you every time I need help"

Vicki shook her head "You say Dad is stubborn, but sometimes you’re not any better..."

Nikki smiled sweetly at her "And sometimes, you’re just as bad"

Vicki commented "Well, I’m your daughter, it must be genetic..."

Nikki sighed as she got into bed "hmmm....must be"

Vicki held out a black bag "What’s that?"

Nikki said "Oh, it’s what I wore before I changed...put it in the laundry with the other stuff"

Vicki took the blouse out of the bag and looked at it "Wow, how did get this thing off? It must have hurt like hell to undo all those buttons...ouch..."

Nikki, without even thinking about the ramifications of what she was saying answered "Oh, your father helped me with that"

She didn’t even realized she said the wrong thing until she saw the little grin on Vicki’s face "Seriously?"

Nikki rolled her eyes "Victoria, come on...I was in pain, he gave me a hand"

Vicki snickered "I just bet he did"

Nikki shook her head at her daughter...trying to cover up on a smile.

Victoria said "Well, wasn’t it just a little bit awkward?"

Nikki said with a smile "Victoria, we’re adults, it was no big deal"

Vicki said "It has nothing to do with being adults, it’s about being human!"

Nikki sighed and rolled her eyes "Victoria, you know your father and I are close"

Vicki made a face "Yea, I know you are, that’s the problem..."

Nikki didn’t respond to that and just smiled softly...

Vicki looked at her for a few more moments and said "Well, I’ll be going now, *call* if you need something, okay?"

Nikki nodded "I promise, come here...give me a hug"

Vicki smiled and put her arms around her mother "Feel better, okay?"

Nikki smiled "I will"

Vicki kisses her mother’s cheek and left the room...

Nikki looked after her and said to herself "Oh Victor, we’re going to have to tell her soon..."

She snuggled inside the covers and tried to fall asleep, but the more she tried the less she succeeded.

She was in pain, her arm, her neck...she just felt unable to fall asleep, no matter how tired she was.

She tried to think about something else but all the other subjects just caused her even more discomfort then the physical pain...Nicholas in jail, Amy’s unclear condition, the accident, Victor’s condition.

She started missing him as she thought about today and what it meant to them, it felt so good, being able to admit her feelings for him, and to hear the same thing in return, finally it was happening between them and it felt so good, so meant to be.

She began feeling guilty for even leaving the hospital...

She tried to roll over to the other side but found it even more painful, she couldn’t sleep that way.
She slowly set in bed, feeling her head hurting...

She reached for the phone and dialed Miguel’s extension number, Miguel picked it up "Hello"

Nikki said "It’s me...I know it’s late Miguel, I just wondered it you could drop me by the hospital, I want to visit Victor and can’t drive"

Miguel was skeptic "Are you sure you don’t want to rest some more?"

Nikki said "Yes, I’m tired but I can’t sleep...would you?"

Miguel smiled "It would be my pleasure..."

Nikki said "Okay, Miguel, thanks..."

Nikki slowly got out of bed and went to her closet, choosing something that would be easy for her to wear, a slightly over sized white shirt, and blue pants... she slowly got into the clothes, really wanting it to be over....she put the sling back on and put a coat over her shoulders, without putting her hands into the sleeves...

She got slowly downstairs, Miguel was waiting for her with a worried expression, that only increased when he saw her "Mrs. Abbott, if I may say so, you don’t look well, are you sure this is wise?"

Nikki smiled weakly "I ‘m going to a hospital Miguel, and beside, I’m fine, I’m just...sore..."

She rolled her eyes "That accident couldn’t have come in a worse timing, that’s all...and I...I really want to see Victor"

Miguel nodded and they headed toward the car.
 

It was almost 11 at night when Nikki got into Victor’s room, he was lying on the bed just like he was when she left, his chest going down and up with every breath, she set next to him and took his hand in her and pressed it to her lips, seeing him didn’t make her any feel better though...it made her feel guilty, and sad.

Just like Victoria, she really hated seeing him ill, or in pain, because it was so out of the ordinary for him, and she as the cause of the accident, she  was the one that wasn’t looking, and all what they have been through in the last day could have been avoided if she had just looked at the damn mirror.

She caressed his face with her hands and whispered to him "Oh darling, I’m so sorry for the accident...I just want you to feel better, this entire family need you right now...Nicholas, and Victoria and me...I love you so much, you’re everything for me, I feel so bad about what happened..."

She had tears streaming down her face and she wiped it away when she heard someone entering the room, it was doctor Cameron, he looked up and saw her "Nikki! I didn’t realize you were back here..."

Nikki said, feeling a little embarrassed "Yea...hmmm... I really wanted to be here"

The doctor looked at her worriedly "It doesn’t look like you got much rest"

Nikki smiled weakly "I went home, I took a bath, I tried to sleep, I couldn’t, too many things on my mind and..."

The doctor stated  sympathetically "Your hand is bothering you"

Nikki nodded with a pained expression "Yea, pretty bad"

The doctor said "Well, it is a painful injury, although it is not a serious one, let me take a look"

Nikki let him examine her arm and he sighed and said "Well, it will continue to be painful for a few days, you not only dislocated it but you also hit it hard which only adds to your discomfort...hmmm, are you taking the drugs I prescribed?"

Nikki nodded and said "Hmm, I already took what you prescribed for today"

The doctor said casually "Well, I prescribed very little, you should have come to me and said you are still in a great deal of pain"

Nikki explained "Well, Doctor, what you may not realize is that I was addicted to pain killers on one time, as a result of a back injury...now that was a lot stronger drug that what you prescribed but...I’m still not comfortable into taking too much pain killers"

The doctor listened and asked "Are you sure about that? I can give you another half pill per day...that might make a difference"

Nikki smiled a stained smile but said "No, thank you but, the idea of taking too much or ever becoming dependent on pain killers again... it’s... I rather be a little sore for a while then to deal with the thought of anything like that happening again"

The doctor nodded and said "Okay, I’ll accept it and I do understand, but Nikki, if you continue to suffer pain I want to re-discuss the matter with you...now, I do think you should go home and get some rest"

Nikki shook her head "No, no... I really want to stay here..."

The doctor tried to reassure her "Nikki, you do realize Victor is not in any danger don’t you?"

Nikki nodded, trying to control tears "hmm, I know... I know... but... I still want to be here"

She sent a look toward Victor, that was still asleep.

The doctor smiled at her and said "Okay, there is a couch here and I’ll ask the nurse to bring you a blanket, is that alright?"

Nikki smiled gratefully at him "Thank you, for everything"

The doctor said "My pleasure..."

Nikki returned to sit at Victor’s bedside, holding his hand...

About  50 minutes later she moved to the couch that wasn’t far away from the bed and set on it, pulling the blanket around her and put her head on her the seat of the couch, she was really tired and nodded off, not really asleep but not fully awake either.

Hours went by and she was not closer to fully fall asleep then she was before, she rested her forehead against her knees and sighed deeply.

Suddenly she heard a voice calling her name softly "Nikki...."

Nikki picked her head up and saw Victor was waking up slowly, she quickly went to his side and set on the edge of the bed, and stroked his face "Victor, can you hear me?"

Slowly Victor got back to focus, Nikki smiled at him when she saw he was waking up and whispered "How are you feeling? Hmmm? You weren’t suppose to wake up just yet"

Victor was a little disoriented "Where am I?"

Nikki said gently "You’re in the hospital, don’t you remember, I brought you in..."

Victor answered quietly "I remember...what am I doing in the hospital bed?"

Nikki smiled at him "The Doctor gave you pain killers, and whatever gave you knocked you out good, so you could rest"

Victor, eyes still closed nodded "I see....hmmm..."

Nikki asked him "You haven’t answered me, how are you?"

Victor smiled at her "Much better, my head doesn’t hurt that much anymore...

Nikki nodded tearfully "Aha, I think I can tell, there is color in your cheeks...and you don’t seem to be in that much pain anymore, that’s good..."

Victor, more awake now asked her "What time is it?"

Nikki smiled at him "Almost two AM, and you weren’t suppose to wake up till morning"

Victor asked her, sending a hand to her cheek "You’ve been here the whole time?"

Nikki shook her head "No, I went home to change and bath and came back later"

Victor asked her, not understanding ‘Why did you come back? If I wasn’t suppose to get up till much
later?"

Nikki tried to cover over her concern for him and got out of the bed "Well, I had a feeling you might wake up sooner..."

Victor noticed she wasn’t telling him the entire truth and said "Nikki...."

Nikki turned around with a fake smile "What?"

Victor asked her "Come here..."

Nikki approached him slowly and he asked her gently "What else is wrong?"

Nikki said "Nothing is...really...everything is fine" She smiled at him, "Everything is fine now"

Victor didn’t believe her, she looked worse then she did earlier, very pale and tired.

He moved a little to see how he was doing and found that his ribs hurt less, probably as a result of the pain medication...

Determinate to make her talk to him he moved a little in bed and asked her "Would you want to get inside the bed with me?..."

Nikki looked at him and to the bed and weakly protested "Victor, I can’t! you’re injured, I don’t want to hurt you, there just isn’t room in there for both of us"

Victor tried to reassure her "I feel much better, and nothing would make me feel better then you getting in here with me, It feels awfully lonely in here you know..."

Nikki looked at him with a tearful smile...

Victor took one hand outside the blanket and said  "and  I think It’s pretty chilly out there...I got this bed all warm and ready..."

Nikki, a yearning expression on her face does not need to be asked twice.

She took off her shoes in a kick and slowly got into the bed, careful not to hurt Victor or herself, she immediately snuggled against him, trying very hard not to start crying, he felt so warm through the flimsy fabric of his hospital gown and she was cold and his touch was like an instant feeling of relief.

Victor held her face with his warm hands and planted a kiss on her lips and then practically rolled her on the top of him, her knees folded in each side of her body to support her most weight, so she wouldn’t hurt him.

She buried her face in his neck, nuzzling him, and Victor felt her warm tears against his skin and with
concern asked her "Sweetheart, what is wrong?"

Nikki response is muffled as she says "Nothing..."

He asks her "Do you want to tell what is bothering you?"

Nikki shakes her head no.

Victor asks "Do you want me to start guessing?"

Nikki shook her head no again.

Victor asks her tenderly  "Do you want me to hold you"

Nikki said nothing but nodding her head yes, she knew that if she say one more word she’ll start crying and won’t stop, she wasn’t even sure why she felt so miserable...it was a combination of everything, and being in Victor’s arms like that and hearing his loving, concerned voice caused a big lump in her throat she wasn't sure she would be able to suppress much longer...

Victor wrapped one arm around her and sent his other hand to brush her long hair away from her neck, and begin slowly rubbing it.

Nikki moaned softly and Victor asked her "I’m not hurting you aren’t I?"

Nikki purred "Hmmm, no... you’re doing it just right, how did you know my neck hurts?"

Victor answered softly "I can see it by the way your moving your head...is it very bad?"

Nikki said slowly "... Oh hmmm..no, I don't think so....are you sure you’re comfortable with me lying like this?"

Victor said, smiling down at her "Well, like that it’s okay, I hardly feel you when your legs I like that...so I’m fine, and I think the medication is still working because I feel a little numb..."

Nikki, feeling herself a little better rested her cheek on his chest and Victor pulled the blanket above both of them, Nikki put one arm underneath him and let her right arm rest on him, it didn’t hurt this way, in fact, since the moment she got into the bed, it somehow hurt a lot more.

Victor decided he shouldn’t question her until she’s ready to talk to him so he just continued rubbing her neck gently... finally her eyes closed and she drifted into a slumber.