Chapter Twenty - Christmas ornaments
Nikki returned home after a few hours of being out, It was a little after 1 PM.
She drove around and didn’t even notice the time, she stopped by at Catherine, she forgot she was not there - some Chancellor industries related issue.
Katherine was also among the people who didn’t want to stay at home for the holidays this year, it was always a terrible time of the year for her for years, even more so after Rex's death.
She felt better now, a little more calm and collected, and more prepared to face this gloomy Christmas, she didn’t want to depress the rest of the family who were trying so hard to make the most out of a bad situation.
Plus she didn’t want Victor to worry about her, he was carrying enough of the load alone and she didn’t want to make it any harder on him.
She thought about their conversation, it warmed her heart to hear him saying he needed her, she rarely heard him admitting needing anything.And he was right, she was pushing him away, no matter how much she wanted him, something wouldn't let her to reach out to him the way she used to, “Too much things to resolve” she thought.
She was looking forward yet a bit reluctant to see him again tonight, under Victoria's watchful eye, no less.Nikki stepped out of the car and looked at the ranch and gasped, it was so beautifully decorated “Victoria did a marvelous job” she thought, as she looked at the lights, the angels and the rest of the Christmas decorations.
She stepped into the house carefully, and hung her coat on the hanger and looked around, the house was fully decorated with all of the Newman family traditional decorations.
Everything was so beautiful, her eyes clouded with tears from the thought Nicholas wouldn't see it this year, he always loved Christmas, as a child and even when growing up.
She imagined her sons face, his dimples, his voice.. she went toward the tree and looked at the ornaments, They used to have one for Victoria and then she insisted that they have a “Mommy” and “Daddy” ornaments too, she had it made for them with Miguel one day, and the letters were written with handwriting of a child - it just made it even sweeter in her eyes.
Every family member had his own with the name and his favorite color, her was red, Victors was golden yellow, Victoria's was pink and when Nicholas was born, he got his own - blue.
She looked for Nicholas's, she couldn't find it on the heavily decorated tree anywhere, she looked around and noticed the box which all the ornaments were kept in and started looking through it frantically, she emptied it and looked at the few of the other boxes, emptying them all on the floor.
Suddenly Cole entered the room, to find Nikki sitting in the middle of a total mess looking for
something.He called out “Nikki, is everything okay? What are you looking for”
Nikki didn't even turn her head to look at him as she continued to look through the boxes, the decorations, sparkling stuff, the bulbs...
She told him, almost tearfully “I'm looking for Nicholas's ornament, and I can't find it!”
She turned her head toward Cole and said “I can't believe you didn’t hang it Cole, I just can't believe it”
Cole set next to her and showed her what he was holding in his hand “Nikki, Nikki, it's alright, I've got it”
Nikki looked at the little blue ornament Cole was holding and breathe a sigh of relief as she took it carefully in her hand “Oh..”
She traced the ornament with her fingers She looked at Cole, puzzled “Well, what were you doing with it? Why didn’t you hang it, just because Nicholas isn't here this year doesn't mean that we...”
Cole cut her off “Nikki, I just went to fix the hanger, it was a little crocked and I didn’t want it to break once I put it on the tree”
Nikki turned her head away, embarrassed because of her reaction and muttered “I'm.. I'm sorry, Cole, I didn’t mean to take off on you”
Cole smiled at her “It's okay, really”
Nikki still felt bad “No, I shouldn't have said anything, after all, I did went away and left you and Victoria to handle the whole thing... and it's not easy on Victoria either...I have no right to say anything”Cole tried to reassure her “Nikki, we understand, okay? And Victoria felt fine doing the decorations this year, I think it helped her to deal with it, so don't worry about it...”
He tried to direct the conversation to a more positive direction “So, you're the expert, what do you think about the decorations?”
Nikki smiled warmly and said “It's beautiful, you and Victoria did a wonderful job...”
Her smile turned wistful and yearning “I just wish Nicholas could be here to see it...”Cole told her tenderly “And he is with us Nikki, in spirit...”
Nikki looked at him with a smile “I've always said you were a good addition to the family”
Cole laughed “Well, I'm flattered Nikki”
Nikki grinned and commented “You should be...”.
She stood up and turned to him with a question “So, where's Victoria?”
Cole rolled his eyes “Went to work, of course”
Nikki looked at her watch with surprise “Now?”
Cole shrugged “You know your daughter Nikki, she's quite the workaholic - must be in her genes”
Nikki smiled “Yes, like father like daughter.. you better get used to it”
She looked at Cole with curiosity “Are things well between you two?”
Cole titled his head “Basically, yes”
Nikki looked at him with concern “Basically?”
Cole told her “There are ups and downs, Victoria is young and hot tempered, I'm more the mellow type...we clash on occasions, we have a very different schedule but we do love each other”
Nikki looked at him and commented “I know she can be handful, she definitely got her temper from me and her father... and she does complain you don't give her enough attention”
Cole smiled “Sometimes I feel the same way about her”
Nikki told him firmly “I just don't want any of you to give up what you have, okay? Always hang on to that...”
Cole smiled “I’ll try to keep this in mind”
He paused and looked at her, as she played with the ornament distractedly “Are you talking about me and Vicki, or about yourself as well?”Nikki looked at him, snapping out of her thoughts “What do you mean...?”
Cole told her “If I'm crossing any lines, tell me so but I got a feeling that by hanging on to what you have, you weren't just talking about me and Vicki, but about yourself, yourself and Victor, maybe?”
Nikki bit her lip and tried to cover “In a way, I guess that’s true, Victor and I had a beautiful relationship, we loved each other very much, In a way it sort of reminds me what you and Victoria have, two different people who love each other yet torn apart because of mistakes and words you can't take back... I just don't want to see anything like that ruining what you and Victoria have...”
Cole looked at her with growing interest, she had that dreamy look in her eyes, he risked another
question “Had a beautiful relationship, as in the past”Nikki tried to mask her reaction “Well, of course, Victor and I are divorced...”
Cole said slowly “I know you are, I just though...”
Nikki looked at him sharply “Thought what?”
Cole said “When Victoria and I walked in on you two earlier, I just thought I picked up on some vibes”
Nikki pretended to not know what he is talking about “Vibes?”
Cole said “Like there was something heavy going on between you two....”
Nikki looked away “Of course there is Cole, our son is in jail, we’re his parents, we go through it together”.
Cole didn't’ want to upset her but his curiosity got the best of you “It looked like it was more than just Nicholas to me, Nikki”.
Nikki looked at him and just couldn't’ lie anymore, so she didn’t said a word and lowered her head,
Cole said, more saying than asking “So, I am right aren't’ I? There is something going on there”.
Nikki told him firmly “Cole, I don't want to discuss it, and I would appreciate it if you would say nothing about it to Victoria, you have to promise me that”
Cole said “I have nothing to promise, I don't know anything”
Nikki rolled her eyes and said “Whatever you don't know is enough for Victoria to jump to a lot of conclusions and I really don't want that to happen”
Cole nodded and said “Alright, I promise I won’t say a thing... You have really gotten me curious Nikki”
Nikki looked at him “Well, I'm sorry Cole, I'm just not going to satisfy your curiosity right now”
Cole asked “And in the future?”
Nikki sighed “Cole, right now I'm just taking it each day at the time... I'm not dealing with the present and I can't even think about the future”
Cole nodded and said “Okay, Okay, I won’t ask you anymore, but just for the record Nikki, it would be nice to see something good happening in this family for a change”
Nikki smiled at him but didn’t say a word.
Cole stood up and said “Well, I gotta go, I need to finish a few chapters before tonight... What hour should me and Vicki come tonight?”
Nikki shrugged “I don't know, 7:30, 8:00, something like that”
Cole nodded “Alright, we’ll be there, hang in there”
Nikki told him “I’ll do my best”.
Cole left and five moments later there was a ring on the door, Nikki placed the ornament in her hand on the table and went to open the door.
Jack was standing there with a smile and a present “Well, Merry Christmas Nik”
Nikki smiled “Jack!”
She said quickly “Come in, come in, It's freezing out there!”
Jack walked in, shaking snow flakes from his coat “It's just me, Santa Clause baring gifts...”
Nikki grinned “I'm happy you're here”
Jack looked around “Is the coast clear? I wanted to talk to you”
Nikki said “Yes, no one around...”
Jack looked at the ranch with admiration “You sure did a bang up job on the decorations, it's beautiful”
Nikki shook her head and said “Actually, Victoria and Cole did it, I didn’t feel quite up to it this year”Jack nodded sympathetically “I understand... I was amazed you agreed to have Christmas at all”
Nikki said “So was I... but... I'm kinda glad about it now...”
Wanting to change the subject as it brought tears into her eyes she asked with a smile “I have a gift for you”
Jack smiled “As I have one for you...”
Nikki said “I’ll go and bring it...”
She went to the other room and came back with a small package, Jack handed her the gift he brought and said “So, should I open mine now or do I wait till Christmas morning?”
Nikki raised her eye brow at him “Well, I'm gonna open my now... so you might as well do the same”
She added as Jack was about to open his “There’s a card”Jack commented “On yours too”
Nikki opened her and read “To a very good friend, and a wonderful woman ...hoping it would help her through a difficult time...”
Nikki smiled at Jack and opened the gift to find beautiful hand made handkerchiefs, with tiny perfect lace patterns... she smiled to Jack tearfully “They are beautiful, thank you”
He smiled at her “Any time Nik...”
He opened his card and read “To Jack, a very special friend that is always there for me, in hope you would put it to good use”
He opened his gift and found a beautiful, antique silver picture frame, with tiny diamonds all over it, he looked at it with question and Nikki said “Hey, You have a big, beautiful family now - I bet a lot of new pictures taken too... I just thought you should have a fitting frame”
Jack was touched and told her “It's beautiful, I love it, thank you, it is a special holiday this year, the first with my son”
He noticed the expression on Nikki’s face and berated himself for his stupidity “Oh, god.. I'm sorry Nik, It was so insensitive of me... I don't know what I was thinking”
Nikki waved her hand “It’s okay Jack, it is... You're happy, you should be, you deserve to be, cherish it, you can never know what tomorrow would bring”
Jack nodded and said “I know, I am...”
Nikki wiped her tears and looked at him questioningly “So, what did you want to talk to me about?”
Jack shook his head “Nothing that can't wait till tomorrow...”
Nikki asked him “You’re sure?”
Jack nodded “Positive...”
He looked at his watch and said “Hate to bring gifts and run, but I gotta go...”
Nikki nodded and said “A lot of stuff to do at home?”
Jack said “Yes... a few”
Nikki smiled “Okay, go, and have a perfect Christmas”
Jack smiled at her “You too Nik, and when Nicholas calls, tell him I think of him okay?”
Nikki nodded “I will” Jack kissed her on the cheek and said “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
Nikki said “Okay...don’t loose sleep over it, enjoy your holiday”
Jack smiled and said “I will” and left....
Nikki looked after him and than walked slowly toward the table and looked at the little ornament... she walked to the tree and hung it next to Victoria's ornament, not before placing a kiss on it “Merry Christmas, baby... Merry Christmas” she whispered....
