Chapter Nineteen - Unlikely people to speak
Nikki walked into the house and stood close to the fire, rubbing her hands together, wiping the tears away.
She had forgotten Victoria and Cole’s presence in the room, Victoria approached her and touched her shoulder tenderly “Mom, are you okay?”Nikki turned around and nodded with a smile, afraid her voice would betray her.
Cole asked “So what was that all about?”
Nikki asked innocently “What was what?”
Victoria said pointedly “You and Dad, the way you went after him like that”
Nikki tried to sound casual “You kids walked in on a conversation I felt it was important for us to
finish, so I wanted to talk to your father alone”Vicki asked “Conversation you couldn’t finish with us here?”
Nikki shook her head and said “No”
Vicki wondered “What about, Nicholas?”
Nikki nodded “Some of it.”
Vicki inquired “And the rest of it?”
Nikki grew tired of the investigation and said with a note of warning in her voice “Victoria...”
Victoria protested “Mom, I’m just concerned, Christmas is today, I don’t want you two to fight”
Cole tried to calm down his wife “Vicki...”
Nikki reassured her daughter “We won’t, I promise you we won’t, we weren’t fighting”
Victoria didn’t believe her “Sure didn’t look like that to me”
Nikki caressed her daughter’s cheek and said “Honey, don’t worry, okay?, now ...can we change the
subject?! Please?”Victoria, though still skeptic let go of the issue “Fine, fine... for now...”
She looked around the house and back to her mother, who sat down on the couch “What are we going to do about decorations?”
Nikki moaned and buried her face in her hands “I don’t want to do it”
Vicki tried to convince her “Mom, are you sure? You always loved to decorate the house for Christmas...”
Nikki nodded “I’m sure, I’m sure, I can’t deal with it this year, I feel bad that we even celebrate that holiday without your brother here, he always liked it best...”
Tears fell from her eyes as she stood up and said distractedly “I’m going for a drive... I can’t stay here right now...”
Vicki tried to stop her “Mom...”
Nikki turned to her daughter and hugged her “I’m sorry sweetheart... I just can’t do it right now..”
She looked at her daughter and added “If you don’t feel like doing it, ask Miguel to do it for you... I just have to get out of here”
She grabbed her coat and car keys and turned to leave, Cole told her “Nikki, just be careful, the roads are slippery...”
Nikki smiled at him halfheartedly and walked out, relishing on the cold air, the undecorated ranch,
Nicholas’s absence, Victoria’s questions, she felt out of breath and she needed to sort out her thoughts...
Victor was sitting at his desk, writing a final report after the meeting with the people from New York, his concentration was way off during the meeting, all he thought about was his son and Nikki....
He regretted approving this meeting to begin with, most of his day to day work was done by Jack and... and Brad.
But this meeting was scheduled long before Matt Clark’s shooting and no one could handle it but him, how he wished he had recorded the meeting, he remembered nothing from it.
He stood up and went to pour himself a drink, he opened the drawer and took a picture of Nikki out of it, he stared at it silently.. he didn’t notice Jack was standing behind him as the door was ajar.
Jack coughed to get Victor’s attention, he immediately put the picture aside “What do you want Jack?” He asked.
Jack told him “I just wanted to hear how your meeting went...”
Victor told distractedly “I have no idea”
Jack asked in surprise “Excuse me?”
Victor sighed as he sat back in his chair “I’m afraid I was rather distracted during it, I should have recorded the damn thing...”
Jack felt sorry for him, he looked at his watch, it was almost noon “A lot of things on your mind ha? I guess I don’t have to ask...”
Victor said “No, I guess you don’t...”
He looked up at Jack “What are you still doing here?, it’s Christmas”
Jack smiled “I’m just finishing some last things... and than I would head home, still got a tree to decorate with my wife...”
He asked Victor “If you don’t mind me asking, what about your Christmas, I know Nikki had a little problem with the concept of Christmas without her son”
Victor said somberly “I am not thrilled about it either, but Nicholas stressed the issue and Victoria insisted...so I persuaded Nikki...Christmas is on...but I don’t know if it would be much of a holiday”
Jack said sympathetically “I can imagine...”He saw Victor’s look resting on the picture that was upside down on the table and said “Victor, do you mind if I’ll you something?”
Victor lifted his head to look at Jack “What?”
Jack hesitated before talking but eventually asked “What’s going on between you and Nikki?”
Victor said quietly “I don’t know what you mean”
Jack said “I think maybe you do...”
Victor asked him with surprise “Did Nikki talked to you?”
Jack scratched his head, he regretted saying anything but there was no way back, and he was concerned for Nikki, and a bit curious, he said “Yea... yes she did...I caught her at a vulnerable moment and made her tell me...”
Victor lowered his head, collecting his thoughts and asked Jack “I see, How much did she tell you?”
Jack said, a bit embarrassed “Pretty much everything, we didn’t get into the details, but I have a pretty good idea what is going on, or isn’t going on - I’m not sure”.
Victor was a bit annoyed, and told Jack that “I have to say, I am not happy she told you about any of it at all, this should have stayed between the two of us”.
Jack told him “Look, don’t blame Nikki for that, I had to bribe it out of her, I came to comfort her the day after Nicholas got into jail, you know how much I love Nicholas and the mood she was in worried me so when I asked her - she told me...she needed to tell that to someone..”
Victor sighed deeply, regretting for the 1000 time about leaving the ranch that night, he couldn't blame Nikki for telling Jack what happened, if she was experiencing half of the confusion he felt at that morning...
And yet, The last he needed is a third party involved, especially if the third party is Jack Abbott.
Victor never looked at Jack as he asked him “So, why are you telling me that, that you know?”
Jack sent a hand toward the picture, and picked it up, looked at it and smiled, and commented “It’s a great picture of Nikki...”
Victor cracked a smiled “All of her pictures are beautiful, she's extremley photogenic, always were, but it pales in comparison to reality”
His smile disappeared as told Jack “Again, why are we even having that discussion?”
Jack said ‘I don’t know, I thought you might need someone to talk to”
Victor snorted “You expect me to talk to you?”
Jack almost smiled, he said “I don’t see why not, I know you pretty well, I know Nikki extremely well, I know your, hmm.. How should I call it, colorful history. Hell, I was there for most of it...”
Victor said, almost angrily “Which is exactly you should be the last person I would want to talk to about something as personal as this”
Jack shook his head “Victor, you need someone to talk to, and I suspect you don’t have someone to confide it, you would usually talk to Nikki but right now, Nikki is part of the problem, your children are too emotionally involved and Douglas is out of the country”
Victor paused for a second, recognizing the truth in what Jack is saying, yet ignoring it, he said “You are Nikki’s ex husband, you don’t like me very much and the feeling is mutual, how can I expect any kind of objectivity from you?”
Jack said “In case you’ve forgotten Victor, I’m a very happily married man right now, but Nikki is still one of my dearest friends, if not the best, she knows me, and I definitely know her and I care very deeply for her, and I don’t want to see her getting hurt, aside from that...”
He paused and his voice softened “I really would like to help, I know you two are dealing with the situation with Nicholas as parents and need each other”
Victor looked at Jack, the man seemed sincere “I believe you when you say you want to help, but the situation with Nicholas is beyond your control, and until Amy remembers the truth there isn’t anything anyone can do and as for what’s going on between Nikki and me.. we’re trying to figure it out”
Jack asked “And how’s it going?”
Victor sighed “Slowly”
Jack snorted “I would hardly call it progressing slowly”
He shook his head and said “I can’t believe you let things to get carried away like that”
Victor wasn’t in the mood for a lecture “Jack, I don’t need to hear it right now, okay?”
Jack was upset “No, seriously, Victor - you should have known better, and in case you’re wondering, I told Nikki that too”
Victor looked at him and commented “She has told you everything hasn't she?”
Jack wrinkled his nose “I asked her to not give me any details”
Victor said wryly “Well, I’m delighted”
Jack said “So was I”
There was silence for a moment and Jack asked “Do you regret it?”
Victor was silent for a long moment and than said quietly “I don’t know... everything got out of control that night...I probably should have done things differently, I just don’t know if I *would* do it
differently, if I was given a chance to turn back time”He looked up at Jack “Did Nikki tell you she regretted it?”
Jack was silent, he didn’t want to break Nikki's confidence, so he asked “You and Nikki, you didn’t talk about it?”
Victor shook his head “No, not that specifically”
He looked up to Jack “You haven’t answered me”
Jack told him “Nik would kill me if she knew I was here, I can’t tell you anything, you know that”
Victor said silently “I see... But you’re gonna tell her everything I’ll tell you”
Jack smiled “That depends on what I’ll hear, Victor”
Victor continued “Nikki and I haven't’ had the chance to do that kind of talking, not just yet, mainly because of the situation with Nicholas, we try to be there for each other and not get into the middle of something that might change it, but more and more I realize that we can’t do it anymore”
Jack listened and said “Victor... let me ask you something, do you love her?”
Victor said pointedly “Of course I do, just like you still love her too”
Jack told him “It’s not the same thing, Yes, I will always love Nikki, but I’m in love with Luan - are you *in* love with her?”
Victor was silent for a long moment and said slowly “Yea, yes... I think so... it's just that, with Nikki and me - I dont' know if love is enough"
Jack told him "Victor, if you love her... don't make the mistake of letting her go"
He walked out, leaving Victor alone, deep in thoughts.
