By Kirsten Page
Copyright 1999
“So Kid, what are you thinking about doing with your time off when we get back to Rock Creek?”
He shrugged at her question as if he were innocent, when deep down the ideas and thoughts were churning fiercely inside of his mind, “Well,” he began, sheepishly, “Actually I was thinking of doing something before I get back...before we get back,” he corrected, wishing that he hadn’t sounded like such a fool at times.
She smiled, knowing that there must have been something brewing inside of that head of his. Playing along, she smiled sweetly, “Like what?”
This was it, and he knew that he better not blow it, “We’re coming up on a little town, it’s supposed to real quiet and have nice restaurant where you can get a real fine meal. The kind of place where men take off their hats.”
Oh this was fun! It wasn’t as if she took great pleasure in tormenting him...it’s just that, well...she couldn’t be sure why she did it! “Well, I don’t know, Kid, seeing as I’m supposed to be a man, I’m better off with the kind of place where I can keep mine on.”
Again, he knew that he didn’t say it right! He should have been more direct and stated his full plan all at once. It would have saved a lot of time and confusion...not to mention embarrassment. “That’s just the point Lou, you wouldn’t have to. You could dress up like a lady we could have a real night on the town.”
The idea was wonderful, she had to admit it. What better way to forget the anxiety of the past week than to have a relaxing evening, “I don’t have anything to wear.”
That’s not the point! He wanted to shout. Oh why was it that Lou couldn’t see his remarks or statements at face value? “You don’t have to wear anything,” he responded quickly, without thought. Of course that didn’t come out right either, therefore he quickly corrected himself...but not before blushing, “I mean, I don’t care what you wear, I just want to be with you.”
She smiled and looked down at the ground, not sure how to respond, “How do you know so much about this town?”
He shrugged, not wanting to let her know to what extent he had researched his plan, “Oh, I just asked around. Come on, Lou this is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time.”
Her game had gone on enough, it was time she answered with the call of her own desires. “Alright,” Lou replied, thrilled at the prospect,“What’s the name of this town anyway?”
“Davenport.”
The two rode side by side, not speaking anymore, but instead enjoying the serenity that the silence brought. In spite of the cloudy, gray sky overhead, they had created their own sunshine...the kind that could never be taken away because it was created within their hearts.
Kid realized that if he were going to confess how he had violated her privacy, that he better do it now. He couldn’t live with himself knowing that he had touched something that was her’s. Slowly reaching up to his pocket, he felt the letter that he had written to Lou’s brother and sister. He would not have traded her life for anything, but he couldn’t help the sorrowful feeling inside of him that he wouldn’t have the chance to start a new life for either of the children. Constantly though, Kid tried to remind himself that there was always another day...
Lou looked out across the open lands. Rain was in the air, she could smell it. The cactus flowers had bloomed their last, showing that spring was nearing an end. Reaching down she felt her bag to make sure that she had brought her journal. Today was certainly something she wanted to write about, and she had great plans of catching up with the past two weeks of her life tonight.
Kid swallowed in anticipation, “Lou, I think there’s something that you should know.” He wasn’t going to tell her about the letter, not yet. She slowly looked over at him and he froze, not able to meet her eyes and speak at the same time.
“Yes?” She prompted, somewhat relieved to have a break in the serious nature of her own thoughts.
“Uh,” He’d rehearsed how he was going to say this before, but now the words were as distant to him as the vast Pacific Ocean. “Lou, what I got to say, well, it ain’t easy.”
“Okay,” She said softly, trying to be as understanding as she could. Still, a part of her wanted to tell him just to SAY IT and get it over with. But, there was no hurry, as far as she was concerned, they had all the time in the world.
“Well, things weren’t right while you were away, and, well, I started looking for anything that could bring you back,” Good, she hasn’t killed me yet, he thought, but then of course, he wasn’t finished yet. “I came across something that I know is kinda personal to you, so I picked it up and started reading it. Honest, Lou, I didn’t mean anything by it, so please forgive me. I know what your writing means to you.”
She turned her gaze straight ahead. Those things she had written weren’t to be read by anyone! She had poured her heart out in those words...it was her confidant. Her immediate reaction was to yell at him for violating the one thing that she had to herself, but she stopped herself. How could she blame him? He had thought she was dead, and had gone looking for anything that would bring her closer to him.
He held his breath, waiting for her to respond, and expecting the worse. Lou breathed deeply and loudly enough for him to hear it. It was her way of calming herself and maybe giving him a little scare just because. He was very surprised when she turned to him, her eyes full of understanding. “Kid, it’s alright. I just wrote some things I never wanted anyone to see, you can understand that, right?” He nodded, thankful that she hadn’t attacked him.
They rode in silence for several yards before she finally started giggling to herself, “It got pretty mushy, didn’t it?”
Kid looked at her and smiled, “No, actually if I had known what you were going through and felt, I would have been there.”
She bit her lip, “Did you read page 24?”
Yes, he had read that page...it was the only one that troubled him greatly. But he realized that it was really none of his concern...things had changed, and she had a right to put anything down that she wanted to, “Yes, I did.”
Lou closed her eyes. That’s what she was afraid of, which is why she realized that if he was going to know, now would be as good a time as any. “I can explain...I just don’t...”
Kid cut her off with the raise of his hand. “Lou, don’t, it’s fine. I’d rather not know. You’ve got a right to do what you want. Besides, it is all in the past.”
pHis tender words alleviated all the anxiety that had built up in these past few minutes. She realized just how true her own words had been, he was undoubtedly an understanding man...and she loved him for it.
The story of Davenport is one that I hope many of you are familiar with. It brought about the special day that Kid and Lou had to share, which sadly enough, also ended in the sacrifice of a young man who died to save their lives. His memory remained etched in their minds forever, and although he passed on before his time, his loss had given them both a new beginning...especially for Louise. She now had new things to write about, and once again she would have the opportunity to live the life of a woman, instead of facing the hardships of dressing as boy and riding for the Express.
Several days after the event was over, Lou finally found time to write in her journal...in peace, I might add, and with much contentment inside of her. Kid’s final proposal to her had been not one of practiced speeches, but of heartfelt adoration, and she had a feeling that saying ‘yes’ to his question was probably the best answer she had ever given in her life.
A few hours after having the bunkhouse to herself, Jimmy and Kid had walked in, covered in dirt, and smiling like two boys who had just gotten back from playing all day. She couldn’t remember the last time she had seen them both so happy.
After tossing a coin for who would get to shower first, Jimmy had won and Kid sat down at the table to wait out his turn. He didn’t dare disturb Lou while she was busy writing, so instead he picked up his book and began reading.
She smiled, watching him from the corner of her eye. Once she had concluded her final statement, she re-read it and then stood up to walk over to the table. He marked his page, and set the book down at her arrival.
“Did you have fun trying to break in that new horse?” She asked casually, noticing the dirt that was in his hair...obviously signifying a few ‘rough’ landings.
“Oh yeah, it was just terrific,” he said with a sarcastic smile, “I won’t be walking for a week though.”
She smiled, “Well, I must say you don’t smell all that great either,” Lou proceeded to tease.
“Thanks,” he laughed, his blue eyes sparkling.
Lou closed her journal and extended it out to him. He reluctantly reached up and took it from her, not quite sure what it was that she wanted him to do with it. She smiled at his bewildered expression, “I want you to read what I just wrote.”
He wrinkled his brow and leaned forward. It wasn’t like Lou to so freely offer something that personal, “You sure?”
“Well, you’ve already read everything in there, might as well keep up to date,” Lou stood up from the table and started towards the door. Her countenance vouched for the fact that she was quiet serious, and hadn’t meant her prior statement sarcastically. “I’m going to go see if Rachel needs any help.” He stared at her wordlessly and she carefully opened the door before stepping out.
Kid studied the hard cover of the book, not quite sure if he should be reading her personal writings again...even though she had encouraged it. Gently he opened it and flipped to the back page. Her delicate penmanship covered the page and he touched the pressed flower that she had placed inside of it. It had been one of the flowers that he had given her in Davenport just a few days before.
Reading through the first few words, he felt moved by their depth. She had poured her very being into those paragraphs, and Kid looked through the window watching her cross the street. Her pants had been replaced with a skirt, and the bruises on her face had been transformed into a natural rosy complexion. He had never realized how much of herself had been disguised...not just outwardly, but inwardly.
This was a time when he could only imagine what she had gone through to mask her identity and who she was as a person. But now that he knew, he vowed to himself then and there to see that those rights were never taken away from her again...unless it was by her own choice.
She had a mind of her own, not to mention the feelings that were seldom stated emphatically, but needed to be and should have been. Her strong-will, sprightly behavior, and tender heart were only a speck of the qualities that he had grown to love. He knew that he could never hope to completely understand all of her nature, but he didn’t care, because he had the rest of his life to find out all that he could.
......I know now how truly lucky I am. Had it not been for Maddie, who is now wanting to start a new life, I would not have made it home safely. I have been given the golden opportunity to start a new life for myself. There will be new dreams to fulfill, goals to make, and a second chance...which is more than most get. Yes, thinking back on these past few weeks scares me, terribly, but good has come out of it because I understand how close I am to my family and loved ones. It has brought Kid and I nearer to each other than we have ever been before...and at last (after three prior times) he’s asked me to marry him, and in this final time, I accepted.
But the most humbling and comforting realization that has struck me since this all ended is that there is nothing that can tear me apart from any of them. We are a bonded family, full of devotion and compassion for each other. Their love is precious gift that I shall always treasure, one which cannot be removed, divided, or separated by anything, and as I have discovered, it will not be broken....not even by death.
Please take a few moments to sign my feedback guestbook, because I'd love to know what you thought!
View my Parallel guestbook :)I want to thank all of you who wrote me so faithfully and kept encouraging me to continue to write this story. It was one of the hardest stories that I have ever written, but in the long run, it has been the most enjoyable (to write) stories I've done yet. I have learned so much about my own style that I didn’t realize was there.
I cannot thank you enough for your incredible support! I hope that “Parallel With Death” was what you hoped it would be. I was near tears when I finished it...not because of the story itself, rather because I knew I would miss all of the ideas and inspiring letters (not to mention notes begging to write more) that you sent to me. I am not kidding when I say that I couldn't have done this without you!
Ride safe and write happily,
Kirsten :o)
E-mail: PnyExp1860@aol.com