If you haven't read  Web Discovery yet, then you may not divine the humor of this.  Or will you?

This story comes to my mind after viewing a veggie page while eating steak, then sitting there and wondering what would happen if they died, and were reborn as like a whale (they eat fish), or something.

This all relies upon the fact that you believe in rebirth, and that you believe you can remember your past lifes.  If you don't, my cute story is shot to hell.  If anything, it gives you something to read.

Joe Divine was walking down the street, munching on his low-fat, soy-burger, and enjoying the view of cows being herded off to become the rival of soy-burger, HAMBURGER!!!  As he was about to cross the street to yell a few choice words at them, Mr. Divine got hit by a semi-truck carrying a bunch of hot dogs for the local store.  Joe died.  Poor Joe.

Diving went to heaven, and God said (this story also relies on the fact you believe in god.  I don't, but hey, it makes it more interesting) "Joe, you were such a good person in life, you're going to be reborn!"  Joe was very excited.  God continued, "I'm going to send you back to earth as a beautiful, proud, lion!"  Joe was not excited. "But God, I'm a vegetarian!"  God frowned "You eat those damn veggie burgers?"  Immediately Joe was sent from God, and reborn into a lion.

Joe was ok growing up, he had his mommies milk and all.  But one day, oh no, here's a nice piece of raw elk to chew on.  Joe was sick, but his mom came to the rescue and gave him milk.  For the next week that happened every day.  Joe thought god was punishing him for eating veggie burgers.  It finally came that Joe could not come to drink milk anymore, but he was still refusing meat.  Little leaves, and plants, didn't work either.  Finally Joe died from starvation.  When he went to heaven again, God asked him why he didn't eat anything.  Joe didn't know what to say, if he had to do over again, he would have eaten the meat rather than die.  Why was he so stupid to not realize that he did not complete the great Disney Lion King circle of life bit?  God handed Joe a steak, and Joe liked it.

Stupid ending, right?  Deal with it.  I still think that's what would happen if a veggie-eater was reborn.