Scott: Does any-, d-d-does anybody else have any, do you have any witnesses? Any other witnesses you may like to bring?
Jake: Uh, no I don't, your Honor.
Scott: Do you?
Justin: No.
Scott: Well, okay, I have heard all of this and I will now go to--
Jake: Well don't we get to make closing statements, you rat bastard(50)?
Scott: Well, go! Freaking' hurry up and make your god-dang closing statements!
Jake: Well it's only Justin's fault it took 15 hours last time.
Scott: Okay, now go ahead and make your closing statements.
Jake: Uh, your Honor, I have been able to prove a pattern of behavior from this person, who obviously does this all the time; he's always making fun of people, he's always lying. I don't see any reason why he's not doing this again. Uh, I've also thrown his character into question. He keeps interrupting me--
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Jake: --and he's got a dumbass(51) attorney that he keeps letting interrupt for him.
Jason: Hey!
Justin: Objection, your Honor!
*Scott continually pounds gavel in an attempt to regain order...*
Scott: Now wait a minute! Now, I have my own thing! Whether his lawyer is a dumbass(52) has no relavance to this case.
Jason: Hey!
Scott: That-- That statement will be stricken from the record.
Jake: Aw, damn it! I was hoping to get that one in! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scott: See? I-I am not, I-I am unbiased. See? 'Cuz, otherwise I would have said, "Go ahead" and y'know...
Jake: And I would also like to point out that I am the only one that has put any real effort into this and the only one that's put, uh, any motive together, any-any reason f-for doubt or anything like that; and they have basically sat around an-and wasted this court's precious time, and I think they suck. Thank you.
Scott: You may-- now you may make your closing statements. And there are no objections during the op--, closing or opening statements.
Jason: You only put most effort in because you want to be a lawyer!
Jake: Wait a minute! He's objected 50 times! I should get to object once!
Scott: Well, yeah...
Jason: Hey!
Scott: ...okay. You can object to any-- object to him because he did it again.
Jason: You only put in the most effort because you want to be a lawyer.
Jake: Shut the hell up.
Jason: If we were playing doctor...
Jake and Scott and Justin: Shut up!
Scott: I am putting a freaking gag order on your ass(53)! If you make one more outburst, I will let both lawyers kick your ass(54)!
Justin: And you took half my speech with you!
Jason: Oops...
Jake: That's it! He said just one word! Ya 'izey bastard(55)!
*Jake runs over to Jason and pretends to kick his boo-tay...*
Scott: No! I said both lawyers! You get a chance to kick your own, uh, defendan-, uh, your own client's ass(56).
Justin: Jason Dumolt, on the 5th, had sex... and, I believe he's telling the truth. He has numerously lied, but those are small lies compared to this one. I don't believe he has the intelligence or the creativeness to come up with such a great lie that no one could comprehend, and we have this stupid case. Also, Jake is the one who wanted this thing. He organized it, he planned it, and we didn't want to do this.
Jake: I object! What does this have to do with the relavance of-of him lying?
Scott: Absolutel-- absolutely nothing! You-your objection is sustained. *pounds gavel*
Justin: But he, in fact, had this in his statement that he put all this effort in it and we just sat on our ass(57) and did nothing.
Jake: But, hey! Objection! You used up all of your objections last time, so--
Jason: Hey! No objecting in the final statements!
Scott: Yes, because I gave him objections because he kept objecting during his opening and closing statements.
Jake: I just wanna do it a couple times.
Scott: Now what is your valid objection? For the hell of it? Just for the hell of it just so you could be a dumbass(58) or somethin'?
Jake: Um... because, I don't know, I don't remember what he was saying.
Scott: Sus-sustained! *pounds gavel*
*Jake begins laughing out loud...*
Jason: What!? What a bunch of shit(59)! We need a new judge!
Scott: Okay, g-g-go ahead with your closing statement. Go ahead. Seriously, go ahead.
Justin: And... he had sex for the love of God!
Scott: Do, do you want to object one more time? Do you wanna object any more?
Justin: He had a BJ, which he didn't-- neglected to tell you he had a BJ because he was embarassed about it. Or, he wasn't embarassed about it, he was...uh...
Jason: It's wrong.
Jake: I thought we said for you to shut the hell up, ya izzey bitch(60)!
Justin: It... it was just... we didn't know. We didn't-- he thought that we didn't have to know that. He just wanted to tell us that he had sex. And, that's my closing statement.
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Justin: And... JAKE SUCKS BIG DICK(61)!
Scott: That will be stricken from the record because that has no relavance, 'cuz-- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scott: Justin is a shitty lawyer(62). Okay, I will now adjourn--
Justin: And, uh, Scott is a shitty(63) judge.
Scott: I will now adjourn to my chambers.
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