The Bible Answer Guy didn't even finish 3rd grade but he shore know his stuff about the Bible. And if he don't know, he'll find out (or else he won't).
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Caleb, my husband, and I have written the following steps
and advice to help you overcome the sinful, hellbound practice
of masturbation, also known as 'whacking off', 'jerking off', '
choking the chicken', 'wanking', 'flinging', 'spanking the
monkey' and other sinful slang terms.
You can be cured of the sinful practice of masturbation.
Many have
been, both male and female, and you can be also if
you determine to submit yourself completely to God and decide
that you must stop now to avoid going to Hell.
Making a definite decision to stop masturbating once and
for all is the first step. This is where we
will begin.
You have to decide that you will end the evil practice, and when
you
make that decision, the problem will be greatly reduced at
once.
But it must be more than a hope or a wish, more than knowing
that masturbation is bad for you. It must be actually a REAL
DECISION. If
you truly make up your mind that you will be cured, then you
will have the strength to resist any tendencies which you will
have and any temptations which will come to you. If it will
help, be assured that masturbating DOES lead to blindness,
pimples, the flu, unsteadiness and shaky writing yellow teeth,
excessive ear wax, a runny nose and loss of hearing.
It does not cause one to have hair on his/her hands.
That is an old wives tail. Although girls will
grow heavy deposits of thick black hair between their
breasts if they masturbate often.
Caleb and I are here to help you after you have made your
decision. You must absolutely, with out failure, observe
the following
specific rules:
When thou takest thine manhood into thy hand for the
purpose of spilling thine own seed upon the ground
or into your dirty sock, thou
committeth adultery in thy heart and in thy hand. Yea,
for each spilling of your
seed, I will smite a kitten even as kittens are upon the face
of the earth. Hear Me oh Israel, I Am The Lord Thy God.
(Philistines 5:12-14)
A
Guide to Self-Control:
NEVER touch the private parts of your body except
when going to the
toilet or when washing them! Your genitals
are dirty, nasty, evil, filthy
parts of your body.
Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good
company
and stay in this good company. If the good company
seems hesitant to have you along with them, be persistent.
Just hang around with them no matter what. They will get use
to you sooner or later.
If you are associated with other persons having
this same
problem, YOU MUST BREAK OFF THEIR FRIENDSHIP. Never
associate with other people having the same
weakness. Don't
suppose that two of you will quit together, you
never will.
This can even lead to "mutual masturbation" for
which you will surely go to hell! And I'm talking about
mutual masturbation with the opposite sex. If you practice
it with the same sex, you have even bigger problems than
just masturbating. Especially if you like it.
You must get away from people of that kind.
Just to be in
their presence will keep your problem foremost in
your mind.
The problem must be taken OUT OF YOUR MIND for
that is where
it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more
wholesome things.
If any of your present friends have pimples, yellow
teeth, runny noses or excessive ear wax, avoid them like the
measles!
When you bathe, never, never, never admire yourself
in a mirror. Never
stay in the bath more than five or six minutes --
just long
enough to bathe and dry and dress. Take icy cold showers
so you won't want to stay in the shower very long. Dry your
private parts VERY VERY QUICKLY, AND THEN GET OUT OF THE
BATHROOM into a room where you will have some
member of your
family present. ALWAYS leave the bathroom door OPEN!
When in bed, if that is where you have your
problem for the
most part, dress yourself for the night so
securely that you
cannot easily touch your vital parts, and so
that it would
be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those
clothes. Wear several layers of pants and put each
layer on BACKWARDS so that there is no opening for you to
access your private parts.
By the time you start to remove protective
clothing you wll have sufficiently controlled your
thinking so that the temptation will leave you.
Remember, your mother isn't stupid. When she washes
your clothes and bedding, don't think she doesn't
notice those stains on the sheets or how one sock is
stuck together on the inside and the other one is not.
And if you don't have a cold 365 days a year,
how will you explain the constant pile of dirty tissues
in the wastebasket and on the floor?
PICTURE OF A MASTURBATOR!
TAKE A GOOD LOOK !!
Do you recognize this man? He was a successfull TV
millionaire actor
until he went to a movie theatre and while watching a Walt
disney movie, he MASTURBATED in the theatre. He was arrested and
now he is a criminal forever. Nobody likes him anymore because
he did such an evil, sinful, hellbound thing. He MASTURBATED!
You can just tell by looking at him that he masturbates, can't
you !!?
It is written all over his face. "I MASTURBATE OFTEN.
" You can always tell!
Don't let this happen to YOU! Don't go to Walt Disney
movies and touch yourself !!! In fact, don't go to Walt
Disney movies!!!
If the temptation seems overpowering while you
are in bed,
GET OUT OF BED AND GO INTO THE KITCHEN AND FIX
YOURSELF A
SNACK, even if it is in the middle of
the night, and even if
you are not hungry, and despite your
fears of gaining
weight. Better to be fat than to go to Hell!
DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT EVER use mayonnaise on your
sandwich. It will trigger thoughts of other things which you must avoid thinking about. If you are a female, stay away from the hot dogs, carrots, cucumbers and Italian sausage! And girls, NEVER put a candle on the table and light it, pretending you have class. Candles are used for only one purpose and you know what that is!
The purpose behind this suggestion is that you GET
YOUR MIND ON SOMETHING ELSE. You are the subject
of your
thoughts, so to speak.
Never read pornographic material.
Stay away from the Old Testament stories about King David!
Never read about your
problem. Keep it out of mind. Remember --
"First a
thought, then an act." Get rid of any magazines
like Playboy or Playgirl or, if you are a gay male, Boy's Life.
Never argue with yourself that it must be
OK to masturbate because God has given you the right equipment
to do it. IT IS NOT OK! It is wrong. It is unnatural, evil,
Satanic and sinful. Anything that feels that good cannot
actually be good! I believe that the better if feels the
more sinful it is.
If you really think it is OK and a natural thing to do,
then try this experiment:
If masturbation is so natural and correct, whip it
out the next time you are with your girl friend in the
school cafeteria and begin masturbating in front of her.
While you are masturbating, just explain to her in your
short choppy breaths that it is a natural process and
that she should accept it as such. You might want to ask
her to blow in your ear at some point, just to hurry the
process along.
I'm sure she (and all the other students) will understand
and just wait for you to finish yourself off.
You might want to ask everyone else to join in with you
while you are in the act. Who knows, it might start a
whole new level of student bonding.
Then, of course, you can also explain how natural
masturbation is, to the school board at your
expulsion hearing. School boards are so unsympathetic
but at least try to enlighten them. You might even want
to give them a demonstration like the one you gave in
the school cafeteria. By all means, after you start,
invite them to join
in with you.
DO NOT STOP WANKING until the police come and handcuff you
when they take you away to the building 59 at the state hospital
where you will be evaluated.
Then, each time you think you want to wank, just remember
your experience in the rubber room at the psychiatric
hospital and the money you had to pay for your fine and
court costs for the little experiment!
Let it also be a reminder when mothers pull their children
away from you or even cross the street to avoid you!
This should be absolute hard proof to you that masturbation
is wrong and sinful!
I apologize for using the word "hard" in the above
sentence. I hope it doesn't trigger any evil desires
in you to touch yourself. Eventually I am going to invent
new words to replace words which remind one of
masturbation or for that matter, sex - in any manner.
The attitude of a person toward his problem of
masturbation has an
effect on how easy it is to overcome. It is essential
that you feel tremendously guilty after you masturbate.
Keep
thinking "it will feel good now, but man am I going to feel
guilty when I am finished".
As a
person develops powerful guilt trips, he begins to avoid
the conditions or
situations whic trigger a
desire for the feel good now and feel guilty afterward act.
Remember - GUILT! GUILT! GUILT!
As you meet with your Pastor, a program for
beating masturbation can be developed using some of the
ideas above.
Remember it is important that a regular report program be
agreed
to in writing and and given to your pastor. Also post
your masturbation activities on the refrigerator door in the
kitchen. This way, when you think you are going to
masturbate, you will remember and realize that
tomorrow, the whole
family will be reading about what you did, if you do it.
In addition, it may be helpful to have the pastor
announce your failures during Sunday school and morning
service each week. I mean, who wants the whole congregation
to know you jerked off the night before?
Small wireless cameras and receivers are sold at very
reasonable prices now. Caleb and I strongly suggest that you
buy two cameras. One for your bed room and one for the bathroom.
In addition, purchase as many receiving boxes as you can
afford. Distribute the receiving boxes to nearby neighbors as
you explain your masturbation problem to them. They will
understand. Ask them to hook up the box to their TV set and
check on you once in awhile why they are watching TV - ESPECIALLY
AFTER YOU'VE GONE TO BED.
Whey you are lying in bed and your thoughts turn to pleasuring
yourself, remember than any number of neighbors could be watching
you right at that moment. Go back to sleep!
Of course, hook one box to each TV in your home. Tell your
family members to frequently monitor you to be sure you don't
touch yourself.
The TV cameras and receiver boxes will be very helpful in your
quest to stop masturbating.
Positive Steps In Beating Off Masturbation Desires
Pray daily, ask for the gifts of the Spirit,
that which will
strengthen you against temptation. Pray fervently and
loud when the temptations are the strongest. The stronger
the temptation, the louder you pray! Yell if you have to!
Follow a program of vigorous daily exercise.
The exercises
reduce emotional tension and depression and are
absolutely
basic to the solution of this problem.
If you start thinking ANY kind of sexual thoughts, drop to
the floor right on the spot and do 50 push-ups. Even in the
middle of a conversation with a friend. Even while eating
lunch in the cafeteria. Even while listening to the pastor's
sermon. No matter what you are
doing. DROP AND DO 50.
Double
your physical
activity when you feel stress increasing.
Drop everything, no matter what you're doing or what
time it is. Go outside and RUN - RUN - RUN! Girls -
no bicycle riding on the bikes with the small, pointy seats
When the temptation to masturbate is strong,
yell
"STOP!"
repeatedly
as loud as you can and then loudly
recite a prechosen Scripture or sing an
inspirational hymn outloud like "Power In The Blood".
Nevermind what others may think when you yell "STOP!" or when
you start singing. You're doing this for God and for yourself! If you need to follow this pattern 40 times a day - its OK!
It is important to turn your thoughts away from
the selfish
need to you-know-what.
Your Christian friends will understand and they won't think
you are bizarre.
Set goals of abstinence, begin with an hour,
a day, then a week,
month, year and finally commit to never doing
it again.
Until you commit yourself to "never wank again"
you will always be
open to temptation.
Change in behavior and attitude is most
easily achieved
through a changed self-image. Spend time
every day
imagining yourself strong and in control,
easily overcoming
tempting situations.
Begin to work daily on a self-improvement
program. Relate
this plan to improving your Church service,
to improving your
relationships with your family, God and others. Talk to
everyone constantly about how the Lord is your only strength.
Memorize scipture and repeatedly punctuate your sentences with them.
Strive to
enhance your strengths and talents. Preaching on the
street corner in town is always strengthening. Try it!
Force yourself to be outgoing and friendly.
Force yourself on others.
let them know just how interesting you are. Talk about
anything that pops into your mind. Talk constantly.
But no dirty jokes or off color talk. If someone else starts,
just wave him off and walk away. No more masturbation for you!
Be aware of situations that depress you or that
cause you to
feel lonely, bored, frustrated, horny, oversexed and
discouraged.
These
emotional states can trigger the desire to
masturbate as a
way of escape. Plan in advance to counter
these low periods
through various activities, such as talking
incessantly, visiting
an old folks home for a whole day, volunteering
to put books away at the library, etc. Help your local police
department by directing traffic at corners where there are no
signals. There is no end to the wonderful things you can do to
take your mind of of masturbation.
Make a pocket calendar for a month on a small card.
Carry
it with you. If you have a lapse of
self control and you wank, color the day black.
Your goal will be to
have no black days. The calendar can be used
in conjunction with the report you will posting on the
refrigerator door each day for your family to see. You can also
use the calendar to show your pastor how you have done.
A careful study will indicate you have had the
problem at
certain times and under certain conditions.
Try and recall,
in detail, what your particular times and
conditions were. Usually, showers, toileting and bedtime are
bad times for the person who has decided to stop masturbating.
If you are a male, after urinating - one shake and one shake
only. Two shakes is dangerous. Three and you may well
lose control. You certainly wouldn't want to lose
control at school, work or a public restroom.
If you are horny enough, you may not care at the moment.
So remember - "One Shake Is All It Will Take".
For females - two very light pats after urinating.
TWO! That's it. Don't allow yourself to lose control and
risk being seen between the cracks of the stall door
or moaning and breathing loud and fast.
In the field of psychotherapy there is a
very effective
technique called aversion therapy.
When we associate
or think of something very distasteful
with something which has
been pleasurable, but undesirable, the
distasteful thought
and feeling will begin to cancel out that which was
pleasurable.
For instance, if you are tempted, if you become aroused,
think of yourself being nude and your genitals covered
with raw bacon while you are standing in front of 6 starving
Pit Bulls.
Or imagine yourself losing control to masturbation and, if you
are a male, you pull so hard, you member just pulls completely
off. It could happen, you know!
If you associate something very distasteful
with your loss of self-control it will help
you to stop the
act. If you are tempted to masturbate,
think of having your member in a small guillotine and
just before you finish yourself off, the blade falls.
That's it! You get no pleasure. You lose your johnson.
Was it worth it?
During your toileting and shower activities
leave the shower door or curtain completely
open. Leave the bathroom door fully open too. Avoid being
alone in total privacy. Take cool brief showers.
Ask a friend to accompany or family member to accompany you
to the bathroom and wait inside there right with you
while you bathe.
Arise immediately in the mornings. Do not lie in
bed awake,
no matter what time of day it is. For males, you will
usually have "morning wood"! Get up and do
something to get your mind off of the "wood".
Start each day with an enthusiastic activity. When you
wake up, immediately begin to sing a hymn. Sing all the verses.
Sing it several times.
Keep your bladder empty. Refrain from drinking large
amounts of fluids before going to bed. This will
often cause an erection during the time you are asleep.
Then when you wake up, Willy is just waiting for you to
take the matter in hand. DON'T DO IT!
Reduce the amount of spices and condiments
in your food.
Eat as lightly as possible at night. This will
keep you from waking up.
Wear pajamas that are difficult to open, yet loose and
not binding. Males - put your shorts and pajamas
on backwards so there is no opening to gain access to the
offensive member. Tie the drawstring (which should be at
your back) with 10 square knots pulled extremely tight. It will
take you at least a half hour of untying knots before you can
get to that puppy to play with it! By then you will have lost
the urge.
Avoid people, situations, pictures or
reading materials that
might create sexual excitement.
Try to have nothing to do with the opposite sex
unless you are getting married that day. Dances are,
of course, out!
It is sometimes helpful to have a physical object to use
in overcoming this problem. A Bible firmly held in
hand, even in bed at night has proven helpful in extreme
cases.
In very severe cases it may be necessary to tie one
hand to
the bed frame with a tie in order that the habit of
masturbating in a semi-sleep condition can be broken.
This
can also be accomplished by wearing several layers of
clothing backwards which would be difficult to
remove while half
asleep.
Men - if you constantly wake up with an erection, you may
have to take evasive action. The erection may be caused by the
need to urinate. You can overcome this problem by inserting a
small plastic tube into your penis and up into your bladder
before going to bed at night.
The air line from your fish tank will do fine.
Run the open end of the tube into a plastic bag and
secure the bag firmly with a rubber band. Your urine will run
straight through from your bladder to the plastic bag. No need
to urinate! No erection!
Of course you may end up with a nasty infection in your
urethra and
bladder from a dirty plastic
tube but don't worry. An infected urethra
and bladder is very painful and the pain will also help discourage
an erection.
A WORD OF CAUTION! Be very discreet when inserting the tube into
yourself. If your little brother or sister walks into your room
when your shoving the tube up your penis, into your bladder, it
will be very difficult to explain to them exactly what you're
doing.
Be sure to put the tube back into the fish tank each morning so
the fish won't die from lack of oxygen. Good thing those fish
don't know where that tube was the night before.
Set up a reward system for your successes. It does not have
to be a big reward. A quarter in a receptacle each time you
overcome or reach a goal. Spend it on something which
delights you and will be a continuing reminder of your
progress. But never buy hand lotion, vaseline or
mayonnaise with the reward money.
Get rid of any pants you own which have holes in the
pockets. Wandering hands are evil hands!
There is a link on this page which shows several devices
Caleb
has invented to stop the hard cord masturbation addict from
wanking. If you are one of the hard core, have a look at them.
We don't have any for sale but maybe you can make something up
for yourself just like Caleb did. And he is working on more!
HERE IS AN UNSOLICITED TESTIMONY FROM SOMEONE WHO HAS USED OUR METHODS TO STOP THE SINFUL PRACTICE OF MASTURBATING:
My thanks to both of you. I believe I am winning the battle. I went through my first bible in just under a month. The 2nd bible took almost 2 months. I just purchased my third and hopefully last bible. So far only about a dozen pages are stuck together. Well, maybe one more bible but that will be the last, really.
I have begun lifting weights with my left hand (I am right handed) so that by the time I have overcome my nasty habit my left forearm and bicep will be the same size as my right. Then no one will know of my sinful past. Praise you brother and sister.
PRAISE GOD!! AND HERE IS YET ONE MORE RECENT UNSOLICITED TESTIMONY
Thanks to your web site I have flushed away my sin.
I have not masturbateed for 6 months now, and no longer want to stick things up my butt, and I am no longer gay, I realize now that it is a unnatural procces that is indeed NOT a clever design by nature that controls overpopulation, when i finally stopped my evil homosexual acts I and others in my god fearing town stoned my ex gay lover to death, praise god for he hath smited the wicked!!!
Thank you for saving me. Please ezcuse my typing it is hard to type with one hand. (I cut the unholy wacking machine from my arm)
my third and hopefully last bible. So far only about a dozen pages are stuck together. Well, maybe one more bible but that will be the last, really.
