I had a roommate. She was from Panama and didn't speak English. She had a friend from Panama who was a few door away from us. Her friend spoke some English and would translate for us.

I was the youngest person at that college. The majority was not straight out of high school like I expected, but the student population were around 25 to 40. Except in the dorm. We were all under 25. I really didn't know what was expected of me. I was frightened. I did not have someone over my shoulders all the time telling me what to do. I did the only logical thing I could. The first day after I settled in, I called the Kingdom Hall, told an elder my situation on how I was studying and wanted to continue so I could get baptized. They arranged for me to study with a couple. They were my new parents.

Ronald and Freida Boner were a couple that have been in the "truth" since the 1940's. They were raised in it. Ronald even served at "Bethel" many years ago. They were both "special pioneers" and worked in "Gilead" together. The elder I spoke to on the phone thought they would be the perfect couple for me to study with.

When I first went to the congregation, I noticed a difference. Everyone there was very laid back and friendly. In every other congregation I was in, there were cliques which seemed to be based on how "in the truth" you were. This congregation had a few people who were studying, some have been in there a long time and would be considered very strong witnesses, some had been inactive and were only occasional members, a few were on "reproach", some never would go on field service, others would go all the time, some were devoted to a secular job, others to the ministy. We were all from different paths and on different levels of the "truth", but there was a feeling of love and acceptance in a non-judgemental way. We could even talk to the ones on "reproof" without fear of raising an eyebrow. I really liked these people.

I developed a split behavior pattern. I was the good witness around the Kingdom Hall. I felt safe and secure there. It was a structured atmosphere. I knew exactly what was expected of me. At school, I was a lost soul. I wanted to be friends with everyone. I didn't always choose my associates wisely. I made every effort in the beginning to take my classes seriously, but since my major was radio and tv broadcasting and my professor started out with the premise that this field is next to impossible to get into without having connections, most of us will end up doing something else.

My history class encouraged free thought. I failed tremendously. I was looking for answers in the book. When it came to memorizing dates and events, I was great. I couldn't, for the life of me, understand in my own thoughts, what significance any of it had without being evaluated by Jehovah's standards. I even argued with my professor about the fall of Babylon. The book said it took place in 660 BC. In my own wisdom, I argued that couldn't possibly be right. I showed him from a book from the Kingdom Hall that it fell in 607 BCE. He scoffed at me and suggested that I use my brain and think things through logically.

I had one class that came to me naturally, speech. I was a master at setting up a viewpoint and getting it timed right down to the second. I could give my point really clear. My downfall, response to the counterpoint. I would have to go and chose topics that were reflecting only the witness point of view. I didn't even comprehend that there was any other way to think on the issues I brought up.

The one that really stumped me was when I brought up how abortion should be made illegal. From a witness, and for most Christians as well, it seems to be a cut and dry thing. A fetus is human and alive. To end that life would be murder. Murder is wrong and against the law. Therefore abortion should be illegal. I have never known anyone who had an abortion. I had always assumed it was only those who had sex outside of marriage and they did not want to take responsibility for their actions. Then the class jumped on me. They posed all kinds of questions around the abortion issue I knew nothing about. Things I couldn't always answer. What if the baby is going to be born only to die a painful death due to being malformed in the womb? Who was going to pay for these children and support them until they grow up since there are so many children who need homes already and they can't be adopted? What about the people who do have sex before marriage, what kind of birth control should they take to make sure they don't get pregnant, and if it fails who should pay? These issues were too much for me to fully comprehend and I gave them the standard simply reply which, when I think about it now, seems awfully niave. Basically saying people should not have sex before marriage and if they do they should pay for the consequences involved, even if they are children. I said that it should be everyone's responsibility to make sure these unwanted children are supported. I said if they are going to die shortly after birth, it should happen in the natural course of life and miracles can always happen.

Half way into the semester, I stopped going to classes and spent more time studying and going on "field service" since I was going to get baptized soon.

The only problem was, I still had to live in the dorm and associate with people who were party animals. I remember the semi-daily beer runs, the loud music, the people running up and down the halls. Even the residental assistant was turning a blind eye to things that happened. In Colorado, the drinking age was 21, except for "near-beer" which you could drink at 18. I was 17 when I got involved in an incident which almost disqualified me from my baptism date which was a week later. In fact, I probably could have died.

There were two guys on my floor who would always give me a hard time. They asked me to come to their room. One of the girls in the room next door was coming along, so I figured, why not. We were just talking for a long time. This girl had to go back to her room to take a phone call. I was alone with these two guys. Both of them were under 21. The had a stash of Jack Daniels. They dared me to take a taste. They teased me until I did. I took a little sip and practically choked. They were laughing hysterically at me. They were very intimidating, too. They got a big 48 ounce cup and pour in the Jack Daniels all the way to the top. They dared me to chug it down without stopping. I thought if I tried and choked they would leave me alone and think I am a whimp. They were egging me on. I gulped half of it down before I choked. It tasted awful and burned my throat and tastebuds. I was feeling sick and dizzy. They were laughing and making fun of me. They re-filled the cup and said they wouldn't let me leave until I could do it. I wanted to get it over with and prove to them I could do it. I gulped the entire thing and said I did it, so there. They let me leave. I barely remember going down the hall to go to my room. The last thing I remember was opening my door. I went down as soon as I stepped in the door. My roommate rushed over screaming for help. I could not move or speak. I felt paralyzed. I wanted to shout at them, "Hey, I'm okay. Don't worry about me." If you don't believe in out of body experiences, you probably won't believe this, I could see everything going on around me. I saw the guys who dared me to drink frantically trying to explain to the guy on our floor who was studying to be an EMT who was working on me what happened. My roommate was yelling at them in Spanish. Then I was back in my body. I could see nothing. I was in total darkness. I really felt awful. I wanted to move and speak. I could feel the EMT student opening my eyes and could sense the light flashing in my eyes. I heard him say my eyes were dialated, my pulse was weak, and I had a heartbeat. That was the last thing I remembered.

I woke up two days later and covered in vomit. I could not speak, my vocal cords were swollen. My lungs and throat hurt. My stomach felt like it was tied in a knot. The first thing I saw when I woke up was Freida, my roommate, and her friend. My roommate said something to me in English, "Don't do that again, you had me scared to death." I smiled and mouthed the words "I'm sorry." I was glad to be alive. I was also ashamed. Freida knew the whole story. She was at my side from the time my roommate notified her after I made it through the first night. We also found out that her friend was a Jehovah's Witness. While I was knocked out, she agreed to go to the meetings with us.

I was feeling very ill and Freida offered me a room at her place to stay overnight. Ronald was an elder at the congregation and he had his duty to discipline me. After Freida got me stabalized, Ronald had two elders come over. They asked me if I was okay first. I whispered that I was. They also asked me if I knew what I did was wrong and if I would ever do that again. I knew I did the wrong thing and I did not want to ever go through that again. They then asked me if I wished to postpone the baptism or to go ahead. I said I would go ahead. They allowed it on the condition that I would continue studying for three more months with the Boners. I agreed. They then proceeded to finish up by asking me the final set of questions I had to answer before baptism and agreed I was ready.