Spirituality is hard to define because it is unique to each person. In essence it has to do with what gives meaning to one's life. For most people it has to do with their relationship with God or their Higher Power. Many times when a person is experiencing a great loss or tragedy s/he says, "I don't know how I'd get through this if I didn't have faith." Our spirituality is the way we live out our faith, the things we do to nourish our belief in God. It helps us cope when life isn't fair or doesn't turn out the way we thought it would.
For an elderly person entering a nursing home, life hasn't turned out exactly the way s/he expected it to. Frequently, I've heard new residents say, "I never thought I'd end up in a place like this." Yet here they are and as pastoral/spiritual care givers we are there to help them cope with their new found circumstances and help them find meaning in it all. If I could sum up pastoral/spiritual care in as few words as possible it would be compassionate, listening presence.
Probably the greatest gift we can be for another is to be an accepting, non judgmental, listening presence. When we feel accepted as we are and really heard by another we are better able to cope with life's challenges. New residents experience a great deal of grief when they leave their home, their treasures, their neighborhood, old friends and familiar places. There is also a lot of anger which needs to be expressed so that healing and peace can take place.
Once a relationship is established with a resident then we can help them draw upon their own spirituality in coping with the newness and challenges of nursing home living. Mindful of the ways in which they got through other difficult times in their lives gives them courage to get through the present situation. Reflecting on how their faith has helped them in the past can give them hope for the future.
For most people, prayer is a very important part of their spirituality so praying with and for people is an essential aspect of the pastoral minister's role. A recent Harvard Medical School Conference on Spirituality and Healing brought out the fact that a recent survey found that medical treatment of sick people was improved when people believed in personal prayer, meditation and other spiritual practices. Praying is something our residents do a lot. It is probably their greatest coping mechanism.
Pastoral Spiritual Care is non-denominational so we offer every resident the same compassionate listening presence no matter what faith they profess. If they wish, we contact their rabbis or ministers to let them know that they are now in the nursing home. As a predominantly Catholic facility we provide all the spiritual support that the elderly would normally have in their local parish. The residents have an opportunity to attend mass daily in our large chapel which is like a little church with beautiful stained glass windows or they may watch Mass in their rooms on a closed circuit TV broadcast from the chapel daily. They can participate weekly in a healing prayer service, a scripture study group, or a holy hour with benediction. In addition, the opportunity for confession is available at any time; the communal anointing of the sick is administered twice a year for all residents, whenever they become gravely ill or upon admission to the home if they so desire. Eucharistic ministers help to bring Holy Communion to all who wish to receive daily but are unable to come to chapel. Our Jewish residents and staff members are invited to participate in the holy day celebrations of Rosh Hashanah, Chanukah, and the Passover Seder conducted by a rabbi or staff member.
Since we are not able to reach as many people as we would like to due to the limited staff, we have encouraged and received the help of local seminarians to do pastoral visiting with all residents. This turns out to be a mutual support as each prays for the other. This year we also have a clinical pastoral education student who is doing her field work with our people.
Last year, we began a Comfort Care Team composed of staff from the nursing, dietary, social service and recreation staff. This team visits, prays and/or sings hymns with our dying residents so that they won't be alone during their last hours. A folder of prayers, psalms and readings was compiled to aid all in this ministry. As members of the I.D.C.P. team we are often called upon to visit, counsel, console or support a resident and or family member in need. In the case of those who are dying we try to bring comfort through prayer and presence, and for their families support through bereavement counseling and presence.
Many of our residents have lost connections with their parish. Therefore, many request that they have their funeral services in our chapel so their friends can be present. An hour wake is also made available before the funeral mass so that staff and other residents can pay their last respects.
We frequently conduct memorial services on the units when a resident dies but does not have a funeral in the home. Memorial services are also held for staff members when the death was tragic or unexpected. Every November we have an annual Memorial Mass for all those who have died during the year. Family members and friends are invited to attend and remember their loved ones. We are available to staff at all times. Sickness, death, family and personal problems affect us all and are easier to bear when they can be shared confidentially with another.
Periodically we have prayer services for the staff. A very popular one is the Thanksgiving interfaith service in which staff come together in thankfulness and bring food for a needy local parish.
This past year in collaboration with Dr. Paulette Sansone of the social service department and Nancy Donahue, of the dietary department, we put together an in-service on the Healing Power of Forgiveness, which was well received by the staff. Recent studies have proven that forgiveness plays a vital role in the healing process. Believing this to be true, we have initiated a program for the coming year called "Our Healing Prayers," which will offer ten healing services for residents, staff, and the Schervier Apartment tenants. In addition, ongoing small prayer groups and individual prayer sessions on each unit of the home will be provided.
Pastoral/Spiritual Care is a supportive service which rounds out the medical and social services provided for our residents. Together we minister to the whole person--body, mind and spirit.
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