.again.
The sound of beeps woke me from my deep rest. I peaked my eyes open, my vision blurred. I looked around the room, and immediately shut my eyes tightly, trying to block it all out. If I went back into my deep rest I wouldn't have to face the music. Maybe. If only I could just sleep forever, and never wake up.
I heard a door open, and footsteps coming towards my bed. My wrist being grabbed startled me into opening my eyes. Immediately I knew I was going to regret it. Atleast when I was out they couldn't tell me how bad I was being, and how much I needed help and to be cured. From what, I had no idea.
"Taylor," The nurse gasped, "You're awake." She smiled wide. I shut my eyes, trying to avoid having to talk to her, or answer any questions. "I'll go get the doctor." She spoke. A thousand pounds hit my chest. Suddenly I felt all the aches in my chest an head. Suddenly I felt the needle in my hand, and the sticky things attached to my chest. Memories of the past flood into my head and all I could think about was how I was disappointing everyone again. If only I could have kept it under control enough so that I could have kept myself from passing out, and being in the hospital.
"Hello Taylor," The doctor let himself into my room. "You're family just went to the cafeteria, they've been here waiting for you." I smiled a weak smile at him. "But, it'll give us some time to talk." My heart dropped. I knew exactly what he was going to talk about, and I didn't want to talk about it.
"Now Taylor," He began, "Why do you think it is you passed out?"
"You're the doctor, you're supposed to tell me." I diverted my eyes from him as I spoke, and looked longingly at the window, wishing I could escape through it. Or atleast disappear into thin air.
"I think you should tell me," He spoke, "Because, from what our tests show is that you may have been a little under nourished." I rolled my eyes. I didn't know why he was trying to beat around the bush like this, and there was no way I was going to come out and say that I hadn't eaten four days prior to my falling. "Taylor, it smeems as though not too long ago you were in here for the same reason." He looked at me like he was expecting some sort of explanation or comment, but I gave him nothing. "I've been talking to your parents about options, and they're going to come in here and talk to you about what they've decided will be best for you."
Best for me? Since when did other people know what is best for me? Why didn't I know what was best for myself? The doctor stood up and started out of the room. He pasued in the door, and looked like he was going to say something, but stepped out anyways, shutting the door behind him.
I looked at the window again. I then looked down at my body. Everything suddenly came into a blunt perspective. My hips were pushed out so more they were like mountains on either side of my body. My stomach sunk so far in that it looked like there was nothing but two humps holding it up. I slowwly sanned my body up, stopping at my ribs. They were almost ccompletely visible. I didn't notice when I had gotten so,....boney. Thats all it looked like, a skeleton under a sheet.
I looked at the window again, trying to decde how to escape. I looked at the IV in my hand, and attempted to take it off. The door opening led me to shove my hands to my sides, trying to appear innocent.
"Taylor," My mom cried out, and rushed tyo my side, wrapping her arms around me in a hug. "Oh, Honey, I love you so much. You scared us so bad."
"Di," My dad pulled my mom back. "Diana, we need to tell him." My mother stood up straight, and looked towards my dad. Tears stained her face, and were still pouring from her eyes as she looked at him, then back at me.
"Taylor, we've talked to the doctor," My mother started.
"And we decided we should send you to the clinic again." My dad finished. "You need help. We don't want you dying, we want you healthy, and this is the only way you're going to get healthy."
.if not for me.
.home.
