Teaspoon of Advice: “"Your past never really goes away -- you either face it or hide from it."

The girls had been especially taxing on Louise that late summer day, so Rachel urged her to take a walk. Jimmy and Teaspoon were in town for supplies and the fresh air was a welcome respite for Lou. At four and two, or nearly for both, Emma and Annabelle were a real handful. Emma loved getting into mischief and Annabelle wanted to be just like her sister.

It was rare that Lou became weary of their chatter and pranks, but today was definitely one of those days. Luckily, Rachel could read her like a book and quickly gave her a break.

Lou was happier each day as Jimmy’s wife. They had only grown closer since their marriage nearly three years before. They were best friends, confidantes, playmates and lovers - a marriage complete in every way.

This inexplicable restlessness bothered Lou. She examined her life from every angle and could find nothing out of sorts, just a nagging feeling that something was not right. The girls were precious, Rachel and Teaspoon the parents she never really had and Jimmy continued to hold her deep, abiding love.

She was beginning to worry that something bad was about to happen to Jimmy. Losing Kid was bad enough, but losing Jimmy would kill her.

Lou found herself at the old oak tree near the homestead. She and Kid had walked this path before, but she had walked it many more times with Jimmy. Jimmy had made love to her beneath this tree, on a blanket with the stars above them. Sneaking away from the house was a fun game they played sometimes, feeling like children while leaving their own with Rachel and Teaspoon.

While her mind was filled with memories of their love play, a voice in the distance intruded on her recollections. Someone was calling her name, repeatedly. She shivered as the sound of that voice boomed over her entire body. Her eyes jerked toward the rider, approaching her fast. She barely got a look at Kid’s familiar face when he grasped her into his arms.

He was speaking words of love and apologies into her upswept hair, but the voice sounded distant as the ringing in her ears filled her head. A pounding began in her temples, eventually drumming within her entire head before the world went black.

The blessed emptiness of that black void was far too short. Lou awoke to find herself in her ‘deceased’ husband’s lap. She blinked several times, trying to make the ghost disappear, but the arms around her felt solid.

“I came back to you, just like I promised,” came the voice, a voice Lou couldn’t deny.

Lou jumped away from him, horror, wonder and a million other emotions she couldn’t name welled within her petite form.

“How could you?” she demanded furiously. She shoved at him. He was so near after so long and she wanted him away.

“Oh Louise, I’m so sorry, about everything; let me…,” Kid began.

Lou didn’t want to hear anything he had to say. All the emotions flooding her merged into one raw feeling of anger. She slapped Kid as hard as she could and wished she had a gun on her hip. She watched his head jerk at her hit and felt some measure of satisfaction.

When she saw the concern on his face, she couldn’t bear another minute of the shock. She headed for his horse, spurred him forward and headed toward home.

Rachel met Lou in the doorway, but Lou didn’t want to talk - she couldn’t even comprehend what Rachel was asking so plaintively. Hell, right now, Lou didn’t want to think. She wanted to pretend it was yesterday and Kid was still dead. That thought made her sick to her stomach. ‘Want Kid dead?’ her mind raced. ‘Surely not dead, just not here complicating my happy life,’ she tried to reason.

As she was about to race up the stairs, she turned toward Rachel. “Where’s Teaspoon and Jimmy?” she got out, barely holding in the contents of her stomach. Hearing Rachel say they were still in town, Lou raced up the stairs.

Lou retched into the chamber pot immediately. Sitting on the floor, she drew her knees to her chest and began rocking until another wave of nausea overcame her. She again resumed rocking, her mind whirling with thoughts that she couldn’t organize.

How was Kid alive? Where had he been all this time? Why hadn’t he written? What was she going to do with two husbands? Oh my, what was Jimmy going to say? She stood quickly, walking to the mirror and bowl of water on her dresser. She splashed her face several times, looking pale even to herself.

She heard voices downstairs, Kid’s husky timbre unmistakable to her ears. Again, she retched, but this time her stomach was empty. She splashed her face again as goose bumps covered her body. ‘What was she going to do?’ she screamed inside her own head.

Lou moved to the top of the steps and she stopped when she heard horses ride into yard.

‘Jimmy,’ her mind recognized. Unfortunately, her mind was at a complete loss as to how to handle all the confusion bombarding her.

She heard Kid asking for her as she moved to the door, unseen by all and unheard by Rachel and Annabelle on the porch. If Lou wasn’t such an emotional wreck, she’d have wondered where Emma was playing.

When Jimmy’s deep voice resonated, “Kid, we have a problem,” Lou bit her knuckles to keep from crying out.

“What do you mean Jimmy?” Lou heard Kid ask his best friend.

“Well, you see Kid, Lou ain’t your wife now more - she’s mine.”

Simultaneously several things happened. Kid stood speechless a moment before anger bathed his features, Lou walked onto the porch looking like a white sheet and Emma, the spitting image of Kid, came flying around the corner of the house, singing and riding her stick horse.

“Daddy,” she yelled, flying into Jimmy’s arms, already holding her sister.

“Hello Emma honey,” Jimmy said softly, sensing the tension brewing within Kid.

Teaspoon looked between the three of them…Kid, Jimmy and Lou. Shaking his head, he crawled down off the wagon. Taking the girls from Jimmy, Teaspoon walked toward Rachel.

“You ladies come inside with me; the grown-ups got to do some talking,” he said to Rachel and the girls.

“But ain’t you grown-ups?” asked Emma.

“Well, right now, me and Rachel are going to pretend we ain’t and hope those three out there don’t forget that they are,” explained Teaspoon.

Emma seemed satisfied with that answer as she and Annabelle went inside with their grandparents.

Lou watched her two husbands for only a moment before Kid flew at Jimmy, knocking them both to the ground with the force.

Chapter 9

Lou just watched the two men flailing on the ground, unable to say a word to stop them.

Kid planted his fist in Jimmy’s jaw as soon as they hit the ground. “She’s my wife, you son of a bitch.”

Jimmy bucked his body, knocking Kid off to the side. Jumping to his feet, rubbing his jaw, Jimmy looked down at Kid. “You’re the one that left her.”

Kid was on his feet in an instant. “So while I’m off fighting a war, you decided she was available?” Kid yelled, enraged and on the attack again.

Jimmy ducked Kid’s next punch and Kid turned around, glaring at Lou. “You couldn’t

wait on me? I thought you’d be faithful,” Kid accused.

Lou made a soft sound as she cried out. Jimmy lost his temper in a flash.

“She’s the most faithful woman you’ll ever meet,” yelled Jimmy as he jerked Kid back to face him.

Jimmy punched him before letting go of Kid’s shirt.

“Ya’ll stop it, please,” sobbed Lou, hating the fighting as much as she hated the turmoil apparent in her tears.

Kid knocked Jimmy to the ground again and they rolled nearer Lou. She watched, dazed, her face flooding with more tears as the only two men she’d ever loved beat each other bloody and bruised. She heard them exchange barbs and accusations between punches as their fists flew back and forth.

“But Kid, I got your death notice,” Lou voiced softly, trying to make sense of it all.

Abruptly, the two men stopped as Kid turned toward his wife. “What did you say?”

Lou hiccuped back a sob. “I got your death notice, four years ago in January,” Lou repeated.

Kid stared, eyes wide, looking between his best friend and wife. “How could you have gotten my death notice?” he asked with bewilderment.

“She received an official notice, saying you were dead,” Jimmy repeated, brushing off his clothes.

Kid was speechless yet again. “But what about my letters?”

Lou watched him carefully, her tears now dry. “I never got any letters from you.”

“That can’t be,” Kid shook his head. “I wrote you, off and on the whole time I was in Virginia.”

“I didn’t get a single letter Kid,” Lou sighed. “Never.”

“Is that oldest child mine?” Kid asked, the thought nagging him from the moment he saw the dark child on the stick horse.

“Ye…,” began Lou.

Jimmy interrupted. “Her name is Hickok,” he stated bluntly.

Kid’s face hardened again as he looked at Jimmy. “How long ‘til you moved in to take my place?”

Jimmy drew back, about to hit Kid again when Lou jumped between them. “Stop it, both of you. Fighting isn’t going to solve nothin’,” Lou warned.

“Lou, I left you here, my bride and come home after fighting a war to find you married to my best friend. Fighting sure makes me feel a helluva lot better,” Kid exploded.

“Don’t talk to her like that,” warned Jimmy.

“She’s my wife, I can talk to her any way I want to,” spat Kid.

Lou swallowed hard. “Kid, listen to me. I thought you were dead.”

“And now she’s my wife,” reiterated Jimmy. He had no intention of losing Lou now.

“Both of you stop it right now,” demanded Lou. “We got to figure out what to do.”

“What do you mean what to do?” exclaimed Jimmy.

“Solution seems simple to me,” offered Kid. “You were married to me first.”

“Now wait a second,” began Jimmy.

“Ya’ll care to hear what I want?” asked Lou, exasperated. Her hands were planted on her hips. Jimmy knew that was a bad sign.

Both men looked at her, waiting to hear her decision.

“What I want is both of you to leave, this instant. Get a room in town while I try to think this out,” announced Lou.

“What?!” yelled Jimmy. “You’re kicking me out?”

“I can’t think with the two of you fighting and bickering. My head hurts so bad right now, I don’t even want to think. What I want is time - time to figure out what I want and what we should do.”

Both men began to grumble at once, but Lou held her hand up to shush them. “There are two little girls in that house that I have to think about before I think about you two. Ya’ll are fighting like two ornery bulls and that ain’t going to fix this mess.”

Teaspoon, standing at the window listening, silently applauded Lou. She had a tough choice ahead of her and didn’t need any rash influence. Jimmy and Kid were acting like a pair of hotheads.

The two men, both Lou’s husband, glared at each other - both taking separate routes away from the homestead.

Kid walked into Sweetwater’s only saloon and headed straight for the bar. No one there knew him and no one thought it strange when he ordered a whiskey, double.

Whispers were still going on about Jimmy Hickok nursing a bottle over in the corner. He was not a usual patron of the saloon, instead staying home with his family, but tonight he was drinking as if making up for lost time. The bar girls were wagering who would get a chance at him after a few more drinks.

Kid glanced across the room, spotting Jimmy. He’d already downed the double and ordered another.

“I’d like to make a toast,” he called out to the room.

The raucous laughter quieted slightly as Kid raised his glass. “A toast to my best friend,” he called, gesturing at Jimmy. “The man that married my wife.”

With that, Kid downed another double, ordered a bottle and headed for Jimmy.

Jimmy looked up at him, eyes glazed. “I don’t want to fight with you right now,” Jimmy slurred.

“Good,” nodded Kid, “I don’t want to fight either.”

Jimmy nodded and indicated the open seat. Kid sat, poured them each a glass and they drank, eyeing each other over the tops of their shot glasses.

Kid relished the numbness that began to move over him; he was tired of hurting.

“Why don’t you tell me about the last four years?” Kid suggested, companionably.

“What do you want to know?” drawled Jimmy.

“Everything,” sighed Kid. “How long you two been ‘married?,’ Kid spat the last word.

Jimmy raised an eyebrow and started to speak. “’Bout three years.”

“So ya’ll didn’t marry right away.” Kid’s question more a statement.

“Nope,” sighed Jimmy. They both took a drink.

“I came for a visit the Christmas after you left. Lou was expecting Emma and going through a bad time missing you,” Jimmy looked into Kid’s eyes. “She really grieved when she got your death notice in January.”

Tears glistened in Kid’s eyes as he poured another shot in his mouth. “My daughter’s name is Emma. Keep going,” Kid urged.

“I stayed, helping Teaspoon with the horses. Hell, I didn’t have anywhere to go anyway. Turned out I was the only one there when she started having Emma.” Jimmy took a deep breath before he continued. “We married that Christmas.”

Expecting Kid to rage, Jimmy was surprised when he just took another drink instead.

“You keep drinking like that, you’ll be in my shape in no time,” slurred Jimmy.

“I’m counting on it,” agreed Kid. “Now keep talking.”

Jimmy recounted events from the last four years, lingering on Annabelle’s arrival while both men continued drinking themselves into a stupor. Before long, the two men were nearly about crying in their beer together. Both in love with the same woman, both married to the same woman and both turned away by the same woman.

About this time, Teaspoon walked in. Spotting his boys in the corner, he tucked his fingers in his suspenders and headed toward their table.

“Well boys, I see your dipping into something a bit stronger than a sasperilla,” he commented.

Glazed, weary eyes turned to the voice of their mentor. Teaspoon shook his head, rubbing his chin. “Well now, ya’ll are worse off than I thought.”

“What are we gonna do Tea - spoon,” stuttered Jimmy.

“We both love her,” moaned Kid.

“You ain’t going to figure it this away,” Teaspoon sighed. “Where you two staying at anyways?”

“The hotel,” the two men slurred in unison.

“Let’s get you back there then,” Teaspoon said, taking one man under each arm, pulling them up.

Kid and Jimmy both leaned heavily on the older man. Teaspoon grunted as he moved them toward the door. Nodding at the bartender, he took them outside and dropped them in a nearby horse trough. ‘That should be enough to revive ‘em,’ he thought, ‘ at least long enough to get to their rooms.’

When the two former riders clamored up out of the water, Teaspoon marched them to the motel. He planted them in the same bed in the same room. ‘They’d do well to remember they were now drinking buddies in the morning,’ Teaspoon decided before leaning back in a chair to sleep. Expecting them to both have raging hangovers in the morning, Teaspoon planned to be there to help. Afterall, they were two of his boys.

To be continued...

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