Memory

Kathleen looked over her shoulder, hoping there was no one following her. It was only dawn, but she had been riding for a couple of hours already. After Kid had returned the day prior with no clues about Buck, she had made the decision to go after her husband. She had to find him. She had taken the buckboard and hoped no one would miss it, and leaving before first light she had hoped to make it a distance before anyone noticed she was gone. But now she had the creepy feeling that someone was following her.

She drew a deep sigh and gazed over the road ahead of her again, urging her horse into a trot again. She had to make it to Blue Creek before dark.

Nathaniel walked up to Mary, who sat a few paces away in the tall grass. The day was warm and pleasant, with the sun high in the sky above them, beaming its light over the two. He sat down beside her on the thick, green carpet, seeing she was holding a single flower in her hands.

"Hi," he greeted, but her face had an absent expression.

"What you doing?"

"Nothing really," she replied just as absently. "More than you know," she thought out loud.

"Okay…"

Nathaniel was thoughtful, trying to understand her. When she suddenly broke out in a wide smile he was even more confused. "Don't worry, it wasn't important," she promised. Nathaniel felt relieved.

"It's a pretty flower," he commented to change the subject.

"Yes, it's my favorite. It's a pimpernel."

"I had no idea," he admitted with a smile.

"I figured," Mary nodded, smiling also.

"They don't really grow around here, but Father Ballard has a small garden where he does his best to save them. They always die, but this time I managed to pick this one before it faded."

"It really is pretty, can I see it?"

"Sure," Mary said and handed him the flower. Nathaniel studied the flower for a few minutes, the two of them just sitting in silence, enjoying the warmth. When he handed the flower back he saw a tear roll down Mary's cheek.

"What's wrong?" he asked carefully, taking her chin between his thumb and two fingers.

"It's nothing," she murmured and wiped at her face.

"You can tell me."

Mary looked into his eyes and saw an honesty she had only known once before.

She stared at him for a moment before regaining her composure.

"I had a husband a few years ago," she said and took the flower from his hand.

"He loved pimpernels," she sniffled.

Nathaniel felt guilty in an uncomfortable way, looking deep into her crystal eyes.

"I'm so happy I managed to save this one," Mary continued.

"What happened to him?" Nathaniel asked, but regretted it.

"He was shot. He was the sheriff here, and there was some argument going on in town. I don't know why, but they shot him. We haven't had any law here since," she explained, allowing more tears to fall from her eyes.

"I'm so sorry," Nathaniel whispered, still holding her chin carefully.

"It's okay, I'm over it. Just every time I see a pimpernel I miss him so much. Father Ballard started growing them after Fred's death, but this isn't the right climate. They die, just like Fred."

"I'm sorry," Nathaniel whispered again, feeling a tug at his heart when he watched her cry and heard her painful words. Mary dried the tears with the back of her hand, pulling away from his grip of her chin.

"So, how's the head?" she asked, still swallowing tears which she refused to have falling down her cheeks.

"It's much better. I'm more worried about you, are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine. Come on, it's lunch time, Father Ballard is expecting us," she said and rose, waiting for him to stand as well before she began to walk toward the church.

Nathaniel caught up with her brisk walk and pulled her hand.

"Wait."

"What? Why?"

"It's not fair that you're carrying this all alone. You told me I could always come to you and talk, and I want to offer you the same thing. I'm here," he spoke rapidly, looking deep into her eyes once again.

Mary looked back, searching for a bottom in those dark eyes of his, unconsciously moving closer to him. When their lips met she didn't feel the pimpernel fall from her hand. The world stopped around her. She felt his lips tightly on hers and his hand behind her head, carefully holding her in place. She had not expected this, but it had happened because she wanted it to. And with the tingling butterfly sensation in her stomach she couldn't end it.

Nathaniel felt victorious, but at the same time guilty again. This wasn't right. He regretfully broke the passion building between them and again took her chin in his hand.

"I can't do this," he whispered while looking over her delicate face.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled and looked away, blushing.

"It's not you, it's me," he assured her and turned her face so she looked at him again.

"I just don't want to hurt nobody, it's not your fault," he continued.

"Oh, I see what you mean…" Mary said and felt silly. Of course someone that gorgeous has a fiancée somewhere out there!

"I don't know who I am, let alone who I know. You understand, don't you?

It's not your fault," he repeated and let go of her.

"I understand," she promised and took a step toward the church.

"Still, I'm sorry. But when you remember again, do tell me if there is someone else," she smiled modestly.

Nathaniel nodded and followed her back to the church. The pimpernel lay forgotten in the grass behind them.

On to Chapter Six

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