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Welcome to my page. I am doing this page because I feel it will help me heal from what I have been dealing with over the past couple of months. Please watch for all the new information as I find it.

This is for all the individuals that have survived and lived to tell your story. Please take this as my gift to you.

This is the saying @ the bottom of the picture for all that can't read it.

On the wings of angels some have flown, On the wings of those angels,
Others have grown.

Author Prissy

We all have to keep the fires going for those who have lost their lives. While we that are here we have to survive so that NO one else loses their lives to violence.

First I want to say to all the abused people out there...


There is NO excuse for Domestic Violence!

My Story of My Abuse

What is Domestic Violence?

Domestic Violence is abusive behavior that occurs within a famiy setting. Abuse often involves emotional, psychological and sexual abuse, as well as physical injury.

Who is a Battered Woman?

The FBI estimates one of every 2 women in the country will be abused at least once in her lifetime by a person with whom she lives. You know these women. They could be your next door neighbor, your children's teacher, or someone in your church.

Violent behavior is learned within the family structure, and perpetuated from genereation to generation. This behavior occurs in every income category, ethnic background, racial group, educational level, professional or religious affiliation. Without help, millions of men & women & children suffer permanent emotional & psychological trauma because of violent enviroments.

The Cycle of Violence.

This is the best description of what I was dealing with...they call it


Phase 1

Increased tension, anger, blaming and arguing.

Phase 2

Battering - hitting, slapping, kicking, choking, use of objects or weapons. Sexual abuse. Verbal threats and abuse.

Phase 3

Calm stage (this stage may decrease over time). Men man deny violence, say he was drunk, say he's sorry and promise it will never happen again.

Emotional and Economic Attacks

Here is another list of tactics that also may be used.

*Destructive Criticism/Verbal Abuse:

Name-calling; mocking; accusing; blaming; yelling; swearing; making humiliating remarks or gestures.

*Pressure Tactics:

Rushing you to make decisions through "guilt-tripping" and other forms of intimidation; sulking; threatening to withhold money; manipulating the children; telling you what to do.

*Abusing Authority:

Always claiming to be right (insisting statements are "the truth"); telling you what to do; making big decisions; using "logic."


Interrupting; changing topics; not listening or responding; twisting your words; putting you down in front of other people; saying bad things about your friends and family.

*Breaking Promises:

Not following through on agreements; not taking a fair share of responsibility; refusing to help with child care or housework.

*Emotional Withholding:

Not expressing feelings; not giving support, attention, or compliments; not respecting feelings, rights, or opinions.

*Minimizing, Denying & Blaming:

Making Light of behavior and not taking your concerns about it seriously; saying the abuse didn't happen; shifting responsibility for abusive behavior; saying you caused it.

*Economic Control:

Interfering with your work or not letting you work; refusing to give you or taking your money; taking your car keys or otherwise preventing you from using the car; threatening to report you to welfare or other social service agencies.

*Abusing Trust:

Lying; withholding information; cheating on you; being overly jealous.

* Self-Destructive Behavior:

Abusing drugs or alcohol; threatening suicide or other forms of self-harm; deliberately saying or doing things that will have negative consequences (e.g., telling off the boss)..

* Isolation:

Preventing or making it difficult for you to see friends or relatives; monitoring phone calls; telling you where you can and cannot go..

* Harassment:

Making uninvited visits or calls; following you; checking up on you; embarrassing you in public; refusing to leave when asked.. Acts of Violence

* Intimidation:

Making angry or threatening gestures; use of physical size to intimidate; standing in doorway during arguments; out shouting you; driving recklessly..

* Destruction:

Destroying your possessions (e.g., furniture); punching walls; throwing and/or breaking things..

* Threats:

Making and/or carrying out threats to hurt you or others..

* Sexual Violence:

Degrading treatment based on your sex or sexual orientation; using force or coercion to obtain sex or perform sexual acts..

* Physical Violence:

Being violent to you, your children, household pets or others; Slapping; punching; grabbing; kicking; choking; pushing; biting; burning; stabbing; shoots; etc..

* Weapons:

Use of weapons, keeping weapons around which frighten you; threatening or attempting to kill you or those you love..

Who Is Affected?

Without intervention,all forms of battering tend to accelerate. The elderly, children, women, men and sociaety are - all directly or indirectly - affected by domestic violence. Effects include:

The Elderly: Neglect; loss of self-esteem; injuries; hopelessness; isolation; retreat into passivity; loss of independence; death.

Children: Icreased risk of abuse; increased fears; self-blame; emotional problems; anger; injuries; death; the likelihood of abusive patterning - over 70% of all batters grew up in violent homes.

Women: Loss of self-esteem; listlessness; personal neglect; emotional problems; depression; illness; pain; irreparable & permanent physical damage; increased alchol or drug abuse; child abuse; possible death.

Men: Emotional battering; increase in violent behavior; increased belief that power and control a achieved by violence and that violence is legitimate expression of his emotions; decreased self-esteem; emotional problems; increasd contact with las enforcement; in most cases, icreasing reliance on alchohol or drugs.

Society: Increase in crime; increase in cost of court procedures, law eforcement; medical and liability insurance, prision and counceling costs; perpetuation of cycle of violence; continuation of myths of inequality; a decrease in the quality of life.


Forgiveness can be a gift that we give to ourselves. Here are some easy steps towards forgiveness: ...

1. Acknowledge your own inner pain.

2. Express those emotions in non-hurtful ways without yelling or attacking.

3. Protect yourself from further victimization.

4. Try to understand the point of view and motivations of the person to be forgiven; replace anger with compassion.

5. Forgive yourself for your role in the relationship.  

6. Decide whether to remain in the relationship.  

7. Perform the overt act of forgiveness verbally or in writing. If the person is dead or unreachable, you can still write


1. Forgiveness is not forgetting or pretending it didn't happen. It did happen, and we need to retain the lesson learned without holding onto the pain.

2. Forgiveness is not excusing. We excuse a person who is not to blame. We forgive because a wrong was committed.

3. Forgiveness is not giving permission to continue hurtful behaviors; nor is it condoning the behavior in the past or in the future.  

4. Forgiveness is not reconciliation. We have to make a separate decision about whether to reconcile with the person we are forgiving or whether to maintain our distance.

Thank you Robin for allowing me to display this banner on my page "We Have Survived"!

Thank you Lacie for spreading your wings & teaching other survivers to fly!

Thanks A.K. for your help to end violence.

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