Some of Jim Carrey's best work, which doesn't say much, haha. But it was an entertaining movie nonetheless!

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Charlie: Buddy, you know what you need? You need a little change of pace. Tonight I'm gonna take you on a love safari deep into the darkest heart of the urban jungle.

Stanley: Tell me more, Biuwana.

Charlie: The Cocobongo Club. Hottest new joint in town. Only the Crème de la Crème need apply.

Stanley: So how do we get in?

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Wendy: So, Dr. Newman, you're saying that everybody wears a mask?

Dr. Newman: That's correct, Wendy. We all wear masks, metaphorically speaking. We suppress the Id, our darkest desires, and adopt a more socially acceptable image.

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Kellaway: Ipkus? Stanley Ipkus?

Stanley: Yes.

Kellaway: Lieutenant Kellaway, city precinct. Do you know anything about the disturbance last night?

Stanley: Disturbance?

Kellaway: Yeah, some kind of prowler broke in and attacked Mrs. Peanman.

Stanley: Attacked?

Kellaway: You didn't hear anything? She unloaded a couple rounds of twenty-short buckshot five feet from your door.

Stanley: This is impossible.

Kellaway: Those pajamas are impossible. This actually happened.

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Peggy: I'm with the Evening Star. Can you tell me what happened here?

Kellaway: No, and you can quote me.

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Stanley: You think she'll ever come back, Charlie?

Charlie: Aww, man. Forget her. Stanley, listen to me. A girl like that is always looking for the BBD - Bigger Better Deal.

Stanley: You don't know that, Charlie. She's an artist. She's...she's sexy.

Charlie: Stanley. Forget her. That girl will tear our your heart, put it in a blender, and hit frappe.

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Dorian: Okay, Twinkletoes. I want to know where my money is and I want to know right now.

The Mask: Okay. You've got 17.5 in T-bills advertised over the fiscal year, 8% in stocks and bonds. Carry the 9, divide by the gross national product - fortunately, your bouquets are deductible.

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Mr. Dickey: Ipkus! We have a crisis on our hands here, and you stroll in over an hour late? If I have to put up with your sloppily behavior -

Stanley: Back off, Monkey-boy! Before I tell your daddy you're running this place like it's your own personal piggy bank. Or maybe we should call the IRS and see if we can arrange a little vacation for you at Club FED!

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Stanley: Okay. You said Loki was a night God. Maybe it only works at night.

Dr. Newman: Mr. Ipkus, I feel I should warn you that I don't work personally with really sick people. There are private institutions for things like that.

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Stanley: It's crazy. I'm losing control. When I put on that mask, I can do anything. Be anything. But it's wrecking my life. My life is wrecked. Wrecked.

Peggy: Look, I don't know what's happening to you, Stanley. But I do know this. That letter that you sent my column? That was from a guy with more guts and more heart than any of the creeps that I've met in this city. Whatever that mask is, you don't need it. You, Stanley Ipkus, are already all you'll ever need to be.

Stanley: Gosh, Peg. Do you really mean that?

Peggy: Actually...no.

Stanley: What.

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Thug: The money better be here, Ipkus. Or you can Ipkus you ass good-bye.

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Tina: You're the Mask.

Stanley: Yeah, but don't tell anybody. If I get a good lawyer and strike up a deal, I could be out of here in about ten thousand years.

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Tina: He's going to the charity ball tonight. He's gonna do something terrible.

Stanley: Like what? The Lumbada?

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Tina: Thanks.

Stanley: For what?

Tina: Lots of things. For sharing a sunset with me. For being the only guy who treated me like a person and not some sort of party favor. For being any kind of romantic, even a hopeless one.

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Stanley: Milo, this could be dangerous. You stay here and be a good boy. Daddy's gonna have to go kick some ass.

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Stanley: This is a moment of truth. When a man shows what he's really made of.

(Gun clicks next to Stanley's ear.)

Stanley: Crap.

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Charlie: Officers! Arrest those men! I've always wanted to say that.

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Mayor: This young man here just saved our lives.

Stanley: Well, it's nothing any American with balls of steel wouldn't do for his community.

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And last but not least...

Things the Mask Would Probably Say

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