He should have told her. He should have said, "Please baby, let me have one thing in my life that is just mine and no one elses?" Instead he had said, "If that's what you want to do, I don't mind." Because he was afraid.
Afraid to lose her. Afraid that if she lost him, she wouldn't be able to make it, even though he knew she would. He really did love her like everyone thought he did. He didn't think she love him that much though. While he went on, ranting and raving about how wonderful she was, she narrowed it down to a few sentences about how "cute" and "great" he was. And how "He just understands. I get him and he gets me, and that's cool."
"That's cool?"
Maybe that was her way of saying how much she loved him. Or maybe that was her way of saying how much she didn't love him. The fact that they had known each other for years helped the releationship seem more believeable. There were times when they would just look at each other and it almost, almost, felt real.
They had been a "couple" for almost three years before she just couldn't take it any more. She knew he felt remorse towards her because she had decided to reveal it. And she had admitted that one of the reasons she did was to keep herself "in there". That statement had hit him the hardest. This...person, that he had known for so long and had grown to love (in some sense) was using him. As if she needed him to stay popular. All she needed was a fiasco with Ben Affleck or a one night stand with Prince William to keep her on the cover of at least one magazine.
He had told some reporter or interviewer that "When negative things are said about her, I take offense to them more than she does." He felt this way because the negative things we're probably true. The negative things were the ones that got him the most. Turning on the radio and having to hear about her cheating on him with various actors and singers made him cringe, because they were probably true. When he would bring them up with her, she would say, "I know! I heard that too! Isn't that silly?" or something else that she thought would make everything better. He would just nod and kiss her forehead, making her think he agreed. On the inside he was screaming. She had apoligized many times for breaking his heart, assuring him that it wasn't his fault, even though she knew it wouldn't help. Then she left him there.
He admitted that he had made some mistakes in his career. Jealous rages with fans and numerous fights with the guys in the group had made him "bitter" as Chris so lovingly called him. His carefree, no-one-can-touch-me attitude had gotten him into some trouble, but sometimes he just couldn't control it. He couldn't even get a speeding ticket without being ritaculed about it.
Losing her made him sad and angry at the world. He knew he wouldn't be able to date again for a long time. This was almost like when he went through his I hate women phase. He didn't have an ounce of trust left in him and he wouldn't have any for a long... long time.
