The Official Tribbles & Other Stuff Quiz

by Layla Brown

1. Which TNG character reminds you most of a pork chop?

a. Riker
b. Riker
c. Both a and b

2. Why do tribbles hate Klingons?

a. Because Klingons don't have sheep.
b. Because they're used as balls in Klingon baseball.
c. Doesn't everyone hate Klingons?

3. Why do Klingons hate tribbles?

a. No creamy filling in the middle.
b. Ewwwhhh! "a" was nasty!
c. Well, it was better than the sheep joke.

4. What is the number one use for tribbles?

a. Toupees
b. Ear muffs
c. Falsies

5. The number one use for tribbles on Risa is:

a. Use those when they run out of the "I'm Horny" statues.
b. Used in activity similar to gerbiling.
c. They glue them together to make a woman for Geordi when he comes down. What the hell, he's blind!

6. Why does Riker like tribbles?

a. No comment.
b. No comment.
c. No comment.

7. Why did Troi and Riker break up?

a. Riker liked tribbles too much.
b. Tribbles weren't always trying to analyze him.
c. Troi liked tribbles too much.

8. Who the hell would sleep with Lwaxana Troi?

a. A hologram - they have no soul to lose anyway.
b. Tribbles - they have no legs to run away with.
c. Odo - he doesn't know what good sex is like anyway.

Other uses for tribbles:

a. Skin them and you've got instant meatballs - less time in the kitchen.

b. When you accidentally run over your kid's kitten, put a tribble in its basket and tell your kid the kitten's sleeping - a nice decoy until you get a replacement.

c. Furry golf balls.

d. Feet warmers for babies.

e. Fuzzy dice.

f. Shave them, roll them in flour and deep fry - tribble fritters!

g. Snake food.

h. Breast implants.

i. Shave and roll oblong with roller - Twinkies.

j. Shave and cover with chocolate - Hostess Cupcakes.

k. Cover with coconut - Snowballs.

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