A knock on my door this morning.  At 6 a.m. or so.  I stumble to answer it, thinking it might be the sweepstakes people.  I find a short, cute woman there instead.  Someone I've never seen before in my life unless she was part of a crowd scene.
     "I want you to be the father of my children," she passionately tells me through the mesh of my screen door.
     "Ummm - ok," I agree, being a friendly sort of guy.
     "This one's name is Chris," she tells me then, suddenly producing a kid from the bushes beside my front steps.  "He's asthmatic, lactose-intolerant, and allergic to bee stings."
     "Ummmmm - "
     "This one's name is Henri," she goes on, yanking another from the bushes where he'd apparently been in mid-pee.  "No shellfish, sunburns easily, and whatever you do, don't forget his Ritalin!"
     "Now wait just a minute - "
     "Ok, ok - I was going to stop at just two, but if you want Bret as well, she's in the car.  Letting her gum the hot steering wheel was the only way to get her to stop crying about her teething problems.  Just a sec."
     So:  Short entry today as I need to go keep an eye on the kids. 
     From the sounds of the honking, I think they're attempting to collect tolls on my road again....
 

It has been brought to my attention that a certain word which I extradited on Thursday back to the journal it had escaped from carried with it a certain brain virus which infected the keeper of that journal soon after it arrived.  This virus is a nasty one which aggravates such pre-existing conditions as penis envy and Yankee envy (which doctors now believe really are two distinct and separate conditions).  This infection could have been avoided had I only taken the time to safely pack the naughty word I was sending back in such sentences as "Gee, Crick's just one of the sweetest [plural form of naughty word] known to man!" or "Wow, my life is TRULY complete since Crick landed on my [-ing form of naughty word] page!"  I deeply regret this oversight.  

I also regret waiting until the bottom of my entry of the 5th to send this naughty word back to the site from which I thought it had escaped.  I hereby promise that if anything else arises which I think properly belongs in another journal, I shall be sure to see that that journal gets it just as soon as I can make a new entry.  Indeed, I shall attempt to see to it that it gets it repeatedly, just to make up for my past lapses.    

Finally, with regard to the extradited word itself....  It may well be that it is not a naughty word at all but merely a poor, misunderstood 4-letter term starting with f as some say.  I've tried to consult its dictionary rap sheet, but  it's hard for me to maintain my concentration when such intriguing words as Frunze and fubsy keep luring me away with their charms.  Did you know that fubsy means "somewhat fat and squat"?  Fascinating.  Frunze, on the other hand, is playing hard to get by telling me to "see Bishkek."  The hell with Bishkek, I say.  Doesn't Frunze know that it's been the one I've wanted to read about ever since my eyes first saw it while scanning the page for a good fuck?  

Aak, but I think I've just let the cat out of the bag there.  Or perhaps this entry has merely become the refuge for yet another escapee from a certain minimum security journal.  In any case, I have been unable to confirm the claim that it derives from the German fodder, "to strike."  My dictionary says it actually comes from Middle English, which got it from the pseudo Latin fuccant - which isn't sexual relations with small insects (alas!) but the coded form of gxddbov.  I have no idea what a gxddbov may be, nor why anyone would want a coded form of it, but there you are.  If you need more info, I'm afraid you're simply [past tense form of naughty word].

AAK!  Sirens!!  Looks like I'm on the verge of being [past tense of naughty word] too!!!