A much better day today.  True, I discovered that my artificial plants weren't getting enough artificial light, so I had to pitch 'em, but that was just a minor blip on a radar screen filled with incoming blue birds of happiness. 
     First of all, August and I have reached an agreement: It is providing me with some ideal temperatures and cloud formations and I'm overlooking the 78,150 people it zapped to death in Hiroshima 54 years ago today.  Negotiations are proceeding with regard to the 13,083 people who remain missing, probably due to outright vaporization.  I'm holding out for an extra week's worth of charming cicada song in exchange for overlooking this, too - and I think I'm this close to getting August to sign on the dotted line.  Wooo-hooo! 
     Second, my muscles have been feeling extraordinarily great today, leading me to conclude that someone has been sending me subliminal massages.  Whoever my special little out-of-body masseuse may be - THANKS!
     Third, looks like this will be the weekend that we finally drive south and look at some of the picturesque covered journals I've been reading so much about lately.  Ohio has more covered journals than almost any other state that borders Michigan and I'm really looking forward to seeing a few in person.  Nearly all date back to 1903 when the activities of the Wright brothers prompted a lot of farmers in the area to start journals while a desire not to scare the horses prompted them to keep 'em covered.  Gotta remember to take the camera!

     The main reason today has been so scrumpdellilicious, however, is that it was the day of our library's annual book sale.  I never buy anything, of course, being a Very Frugal Person (and One With Very Little Space Left For Written Material besides), but it's always fun to go and pretend that I'm actually a Drunken Sailor With Oodles Of Cash To Spend On Book Ballast.  I even wore my rum-stained little sailor's cap to further the illusion.
     Admittedly, things didn't start out very promisingly as I sampled the offerings and my eyes took to crossing themselves in the face of such unholy selections as "A History Of Short Women" from 1927 and "Manual Phonics: How To Learn To Read By Sounding Words Out With A Sock Puppet." 
     Then I found "Wishcraft." 
     Suddenly my day was transformed....

     "Wishcraft" is a book which tells you how to make your wishes come true, step by step.  I thought wishing was easy, but it really isn't - not if you do it right, anyway.  Here's just a few of the things I learned as I stood and read this work, transfixed by its revealed wisdom as I stood in the very center of a madding crowd:

• Make specific wishes, not general ones.  Instead of "I wish I were prettier" say "I wish my nose was five inches shorter and my body not made out of maple."  Wish givers don't have time to read minds!
• Wish big.  The little bit of effort it takes to go from "I wish I had a quarter" to "I wish I had a quarter million" can make a big difference in the kind of retirement you'll have.
• Wish persistently.  If something's really worth wishing for, it's worth wishing for well, often, and loudly.  If you're too lazy to give the smallest wish the attention and effort it deserves, don't even start.  If you're a single parent, put the kids in day care so you can give 40 high-quality hours a week to wishing if you expect the decent wish givers who provide fringe benefits (like lucky rabbit's foots) to take you seriously.
• Wish neatly.  Sloppy wishing does nothing but bring disrepute to you, your family, your nation, your race, and your god.
• Wish politely - and keep it clean!  Rude and dirty wishes may be fun but almost never get granted except by accident.
• Don appropriate attire before going somewhere to wish.  Think: Who would you grant wishes to first - the guy in the suit and tie or the poorly dressed lady with the IV dangling from her arm?
• Wish in a little-used language.  Wish givers love that just for the break it provides from 50 million teenage Americans wishing to get laid in English.  Just never, ever wish in Russian.  History proves that Russian is one of the only languages which never leads to a wish being granted.
• Planning to major in wishing in college?  You must score 850 or higher on the wishing/hoping/praying section of the SAT.  Start practice wishing now! 
• Think your child might be a precocious genius of a wisher?  Carefully chart your child's wishes and their results every day for a year.  If more than one wish in a hundred comes true, alert the media: You are the parent of a wishing Einstein!
• Interested in group wishing?  Check the Yellow Pages under "Excuses For People To Get Together Other Than Sex And Drinking."
• Feel utterly inadequate or completely wished out?  Hire a professional wisher!  Rates start at just $18/hour plus mileage.  Specialists are available for especially hopeless cases as well, but not every HMO covers the added expense, so be sure to check with yours first.
• Feel the need to do more?  Write Congress and demand that full funding be restored for The Center For Experimental Wishers In Rio.  Or send your contribution of cash, furs, or jewels directly to the center TODAY!  We're sure you'll end up wishing you'd done it years ago once they succeed in their quest to invent a sure-fire wish machine.

     I just hope I haven't been maliciously bewished for being too cheap to buy "Wishcraft" for a dime!!!