Here are Matthew's poems. There was a whole bunch of them, so I put them on a seperate page. He's in the process of trying to get a book deal, so I'll put this in the way it would be in his book. Enjoy!


Distorted Views of Reality: A Collection of Teenage Angst
Written by: Matthew Timothy Walters




"Hi, I'm Matthew. This is my assortment of poems to date. I know some of them kind of suck, but they express a lot of feeling. I would like to thank my school, ex-girlfriends, and the town of Ironton for giving me inspiration. If you like my work, I hope it affects you and helps you find your vehicle for self-expression. If you don't like them, then maybe it's not ment for you. No harm done. If you like it please feel free to e-mail Juliette. I'll get the mesage and more than likely get back to you. If you don't like it, keep it to yourself and don't e-mail Juliette to bitch about me being vulgar or untalented or anything. Thanks for reading my work. I hope they help you realize things about yourself."



"Gena"

Hurt my heart
From its start
Kiss away my many doubts of you
And become my only fear

Your pretty eyes tell the timeless tale
My love then cries, and lives through blackmail
Your tender lips smooth away the pain
Is there someone else that I can blame?

Please, just leave me alone
My heart intones
As I think of going back to you my heart screams "maybe"
God, I'm such a sensitive, crying baby

Save my countless fears
Wipe away the poetic tears
My "love" starts to sear
If you care for me at all...you won't leave me here

My heart plummets down
When on your sweet, angelic face rests a single frown
There's nothing left to do but mourn
Within this heart, bitterly left torn



"User"

Go ahead, I love you, just do it to me
Use me
Please, it won't hurt, swear to me
That you'll lose me

Abuse me to take away your pain
My heart can't bleed for anyone else but you
My love then seeps, like down through a heart's drain
Couldn't you just love me too?

My love for you couldn't ever have died
Until you wanted it to, went ahead, and tried
Chip away at me, I won't do the same
In my soul is where I lay the blame

As the salty tears begin to streak down my face
In my heart I seek a gentle, loving place
A place where you and I could be together
Today, tomorrow, the next day, and forever



"The Hellbound Heart"

A blessed angel visited me today
She begged and pleaded to show me "the way"
Her love and kindness was east to dismiss
With my dark heart, in which swirls the abyss

"Come with me, I'll show you the light"
I thrashed, screamed, and put up a fight
She wanted to show me her wondrous place
A grim smile then infected all of my face

"Your empire of conformity, your holy bureaucracy of hypocrisy
Your lies of curiosity that you dreamed up and called Christianity
All these lies you use for pathetic scares
Your god is dead and no one here cares"

That angel beckoned to my soul then torn
To her I said "go wear your fucking crown of thorns!
I still believe that I cannot be saved
No, your bible's propaganda won't make me behave"

She told me how my poor soul would rot in hell
I spit in her face and said "I hope it burns well" I told her I didn't worry if her god really cared
She looked to the sky, and I knew she was scared

I told her to tell her god he had so much to fear
For he wouldn't have the allegiance of one single soul here
So sleep well lovely angel, and if it pleases you, cry for my soul
And fill with a heart this desolate, black hole



"Only In My Heart"

I don't know if you still love me because things between us have changed
And I know there's a difference now in the way my heart's arranged
I know I still love you, and want to be with you
But now even when you're around, I still feel like I miss you

The look in your eyes isn't the same as before
I'm starting to think that you can't take anymore
Even though my brain says "You'll get hurt, run away'
My heart is still begging for me to please stay

I know I don't have the heart to say goodbye
Because then all it would do is suffer and die
It used to be that I loved you to where I wanted you as a wife
Now I'm so scared because I'm sure you're leaving my life

Please don't say goodbye, don't say you're leaving
My heart doesn't have the strength left to start grieving
Even still I want to have you as a lover
And I end up treating you better than my mother

Now it seems like I'm influencing more and more people's lives
Then why is that all they do for me is take dives?
Of all I've lost, I miss my heart the most
With you gone, I won't have a reason to boast

Please go, I'll live on without my heart
Even though my own feels like its been pierced by a dart
Now I'm so scared whenever you give me a call
I wonder if you ever loved me at all



"Confusion Comes Next"

I'm just laying here by my phone
Waiting for you to call
Maybe you're just not home
Or with some other guy at the mall

Your mom says you can't talk right now
Maybe you just don't want to talk to me
You're probably just out of the shower, putting on a towel
She'll call as soon as she can, you'll see

I hate myself for letting you use me
And I wish you would just let me be
I want to tear you out of my heart
But I can't, because you've been there from the start

My confusion and pain is what I'll hide
I wouldn't want to possibly hurt you
With the fear that spawns on my insides
Couldn't you love me too?

I'm imagining another guys arms around you
And all the while crying my eyes out
To me, would you please be true?
And let me know your words aren't something to doubt

Of all I want, I just want to see you smile
Don't be sorry, I'll go on acting fine
Even though I'll miss you all the while
I'll try to remember a moment when you were mine



"Waiting To Inhale"

I simply cut out my heart with your knife
I have to admit, it felt really nice
As my arm cried out it's own blood
The emotions swept back as if from some past flood

The pain of old memories was never so cruel
And distantly my blood formed a quaint pool
It was so beautiful, the crimson covered the land
So I made another slit just above my left hand

As consciousness slowly faded to the back
My eyes were soon covered over and all became black
Don't get mad, don't get all sobby
Can you blame me? Oh, it was so pretty mommy

Just as soon as it had started, the black became white
And I slowly opened my eyes and was blinded by light
Why would I ever choose to go back?
My body was life's favorite target of attack

"What, is it something I said?"
Then why, God, when I ask to come in do you turn your head?
I did it, I did it all for you
So like Brian and Kurt I could come up here too

I shouldn't have done it, no definitely not today
I guess there could have been another way
Maybe...it was all just a test
If it was, then I failed, and left a huge mess



"Let Me Down"

I'm gonna overdose on all these hormones
As I think of you at night I grasp the warm pillow
Imagining that laying there beside me it was really you
Imagining that when it comes to me you could give up and be true

Kiss me girl, sweetly kiss me
I don't want to be alone, can't you see?
Why do things gotta be this way?
But remember, isn't love supposed to be for more than a day?

I just want a girl
One who's willing, one that'll stay
One who loves to touch
And doesn't think that I'm way too much

Someone who can work on my spirit like magic
And really believes that life is too tragic
Someone who doesn't give a shit about anyone else's thoughts
And gives loving kisses, lots

Please don't trust me though, I'm a liar
I quench love's thirst just like fire
I'm the gentle guy who hates
I'm the caring guy who masturbates

Leave me laying sleeping here
In the bed that comforted me before you appeared
You said you loved me more than ever
I found out you were just kidding, you're so clever



"Pusher"

Step right up, and take a swing
You're no better than anyone
I scream "ring phone, ring"
As darkness wipes away the sun

I'll erase your thoughts
I'll dream while you suffer
You're what I bought
A whore and a huffer

You really think I actually care about you?
You're just some girl I want to fuck
But you care, don't you?
Spread your knees, I've got a buck

Your personality is between your legs
You're all the girls I meet
You'll definitely be the one who begs
I'm the caring devil that you think is too sweet

You could almost be worth a couple hours of my time
I act like I could want you to stay
Your body's what I want to climb
I'm done, and you can go away

Oh, I'm sorry sweetie, did I hurt your feelings?
Don't worry, you didn't taste the worst
This is how I treat my dealings
Don't cry, you weren't the first



"Shame"

I still want to be with you but my mind has little hope
I'm too scared that it's going to take me way too long to cope
It's wierd to think that at once I imagined you covered in a white veil
Now I weed out your letter when they pop up in the mail

The first I saw you, your beauty struck me blind
But now I fear because of you I'm going out of my mind
I don't have the enthusiam left to try
And obviously I don't have the power to do anything but cry



"On The Verge Of Destruction"

Hate everyone that you don't know
It's so fun to reap the seed you sew
Why not just go and skip the class
Empathy, I think you'll pass
You know it's wrong but what should you do
Should I want to be like you too?
I'm the conformists nightmere
Is it hard to believe that I really don't care?
What else should you think
If you ever stop to think at all
You never love anyone but yourself
But your hate only loves itself
When the road gets rougher
Your ideals help make you suffer
Because when you were young your heart was tore
And now you believe that love can't possibly give you more



"Miss"

I love you
Even if sometimes I act like I don't
You say you love me too
Don't go away, say you won't

It feels like my heart has already set sail
I don't want you to say goodbye
I need another tst to fail
But I don't want to cry

Your love makes my bones feel like they could crack
Did you really mean to hurt me?
Because hurting is not what I lack
I feel wierd because now I can see

Don't stop believing that everything will be okay
You read me like a book
And I do want you to stay
Please? Just for one more day

Do you know what I'll miss
Probably it all
But especially your kiss
You can slowly stop trying to call



"Submissive"

I am myself
I want to be myself
I like myself
I respect myself
They won't let me be myself
They made me purge myself
They made me not want to be myself
They persuaded me to dislike myself
They made me lose respect for myself
They made me hate myself
Then I killed myself



"Backforth"

Shut out my light, and whisper goodbye to me
Don't turn your heart around if I cry, don't look back to see
Don't you sigh and wonder what ever made me be
I'll hang on without asking why, if you promise not to think of me

Whenever my name is revived in your head, forget my memory
At least I'll know you're not crying in your bed, like me
Alone with a book a thousand-times read, I feel so empty
Maybe when I'm finally dead you won't feel so lonely

Maybe we'll forget on the other side that it will never be the same
Without your embaressment to hide, or me to blame
I almost forgot that you lied, and I was just part of a game
The veil covering my wannabe-bride was stolen when he came

Remember that no matter what I'll believe that you actually cried
This was just a false concieve, but I tried
My heart still bleeds from that everlasting goodbye
And my love feels no need to lie

My girl is gone, and now the one that I adore is hate
With the feeling of never needing more I'm raped
I'll walk through the emptiness of love because I'm late
To opiate my heart's feuding war of fate

It's so sad that your final word was goodbye, and that it was to me
You won't feel pity for this child when it cries, you'll see
Don't embrace memories and sigh about me
Whenever you need a reason to question why, think of me



"Shine"

The sun will shine for you but I won't
Because I'm afraid of what I'll see
Pacified dreams in the blackness
Tear at your blankets
Steal you out of the bed that keeps you safe
From the people I want to be
You are my perfect everything, everything I want to love
Everything I want to hate and fuck
I wanna be morbid just like me
Give me faith so I can lose it
Eat out my emptiness to make a hole
Like yours
So I can finger myself in the mirror
To forget you
The moon is forced to shine just like me
I want to burn out into the day
Put out your cigarettes on my face
Smash your dreams of me into a waste
And steal my soul
I want to be born again so I can start all over
So I can love you less
Tear off your muzzle because I want to kiss you
So ou can slip your tongue in my throat
So I can scream
Like before
I met my gentle, loving whore



"Puzzle"

Go back to that place
The place that you came from
Relieve yourself to relieve your shame
You don't ever leave
Because I'm what you believe
Yu don't want to lose what I give
But I want to lose what I've got
You've earned your leave
So go
So you can learn to understand me
So you can remember all those moments last in life
When I would've stayed
Remember your pain-soaked game
The game I played a thousand times over in my head
But most of all, remember that it's okay
I forgive you for being blue
Look at the cuts
Look at the bruise
The game is over and you lose
Can I cut you like the dirt?
Can I cut you like you like to hurt?
Your angel wings that were never there fell away
And you fell in the sun
With all the other mistaken lovers
Who forgot to end what they'd begun



"Pretend"

And once again, you pretend to know my heart
And I'll walk alone to find you
So I can let you hurt me more
So I can pretend that there's an end to all of this

We'll walk through the moonlight like we know the way
And run from the day
I know that yu're still there
But I am still alone

And once again, you'll pretend that you love me
It'll help to ease your guilt becuse I said it first
But don't feel guilty
I'll pretend to know that you love me

Can I ever go back?
Because I'm stuck here with you
Hurt me again
Because I know it'll help you sleep at night

And once again I'll pretend to feel no pain
It's nice to think that you're just like I
Because that's how I used to think
But now I just pretend



"Julie Basedow Will Have Her Revenge On Ironton"

Bear, bear, bear
Whatever happened to your hair
Did you become so frightened and scared
By what is really here
Did your eyes adjust to focus on reality
Did you think back to when you were a little cub
And mommy loved you so dear
But you know that mommy isn't here
You are the only one left to soak up the pain
To battle the distress
Unless...
Unless you believe that you really have hair
And quit being so scared
By what you think is really here
And turn your eyes out of focus
And become the locust
Who could care less about who he hurts
As long as he lives



"Morbid Angel"

(Chuckle)(Chuckle)(Laugh)(Laugh)(Hee,hee)
I'm going to kill you
You should've shut your mouth
But now you're going to die

(Snicker)I gave you a chance
But that is over now
I'm coming to your house
To watch it burn to the ground

(Ha Ha) Now I'm paying you back
I told you not to fuck with me
You're already dead
You shouldn't have spoken a word about her

(Giggle)
I'm at your house and you don't know it
You're sound asleep dreaming of baseball games
And I'm here to get you

(Contemplating) Lets think...
I could gut your dog like a fish
And hang it from your fan
Now, that's a thought, so creative (Gleamingly proud)

(Shrugging) Or carve your brother like the bloated pig he is
And spill his insides all over the floor
Don't worry he's not alone
I'm coming to get you too

(Holding chin) Or I could stab you repeatedly
Just enough so you don't die instantly
I want to watch you bleed
Beg and cry, I'll watch you die

I could make your throat smile (belly laugh)
From ear to ear
You gush all over my hands
But that's okay

I bet you didn't suspect that inside I was like this
Are you scared?(Wondering)
I hope so(Hoping)
Even so I don't really care(Focusing on job at hand)

(Proudly) Since they'll never catch me
I'd better start now
So I'll nail your dorrs and windows shut
So you couldn't possibly get out (Clenching teeth)

I'll light a little match
Mix it with gasoline
And put it on your house (Hurray)
So I can watch you burn

You're roasting like a pig
Like a fucking barbecue (Curiously watching)
Die
(Screaming) Burn motherfucker, burn!



"Martha"

I found out exactly who I loved today
Because in my heart her face can't go away
You captured my heart in a book store
I was desperatly hooked on you, I couldn't live without more

Looking into your beautiful eyes, you kissed me so softly
I've never worried about its toll being costly
Kissing your tender lips, I was locked in your embrace
I've never wanted anything more than to look on your face

Ever since I first saw you, I've loved you from the start
I knew I couldn't go on living if we were apart
Your passionate kiss, a gift to me in hoards
We passed it back and forth, from my lips to yours

Heaven is having my arms wrapped around you
Have you ever thought about sex too?
I only want to be with someone like you
For me God made one person, he didn't make a two

You never have to worry about the chances of me cheating
Unless I wanted to see myself on the floor, with my heart sadly beating
To me you're my one beautiful goddess
Look at how pretty you are, I can't see how you're modest

With you in my heart, I don't have a chance of coming down
Because I feel loved looking in your eyes shining brown
I don't feel cheated for my heart you stole
Because now I have a second piece, and for once I feel whole



"Mary"

My sweet, cutie pie
My reason to ask why
Crying all the while
I adore her sexy, silky smile
The blue-tinged empty eyes
My, oh, oh, my, oh, my
Her beauty makes me beg
With her lovely, acid legs
Then my tongue slowly slips
Past her pretty, pink-licked lips
Her velvet, venus voice
There is only one choice
I'm an addict but I don't care
I love her halo hair
Imagining what I'd do to your angel, beautiful body
I think I'm naughty
They say I like to sin
I know I would with your flower petal skin



"Disease Girl"
Your voice won't stop beating in my head
But I thought you said that you didn't want to talk to me anymore
I want to give you up
I want to pull you out

I guess since I was lonely
And you were at my side
I owe you something
So I'll pull you out of your misery that's me

You make no sense anymore
Because your voice isn't directed at me
But I don't care
And I wish I never did

But you do have your own will
So I won't keep you
So in the eyes of a bitch
I scream "leave"

But you won't ever go
Because I guess you love to cause pain
And inflict yourself on me
You'll be my disease



"Stick Around"

People only stick around to see what will happen
And tomorrow is just some excuse to stay
Sympathies rush from my eyes
Speak to me in a tone that I can hear

So I open up my eyes and face myself
Never scared of what I know lurks there
Because I can't live forever
And maybe life really is fair

I always find a dumb reason to live
And it always seems to fade away
And leaves me there to cry
But you can save me with your grace

Maybe I'll never find an end to it all
On a sleigh ride straight to the day
But I guess I don't care to shake away my love
If I knew it would make you stay

I love what hurts me
What hurts me is love
I feel the cold in the light
As I fly away as a dove



"As I Am"

Bittersweet memories of stained glass
Easily broken
Into shards that lacerate the heart
And destroy hope
The hope that love is real
Real in this world of lies at least
The lie that sensitivity is a gift
That lets you suffer in martyrdom
The pain for someone you love
The pain for senseless months of happiness
Months broken like the bones of a loudspoken angel
Who never lifted your burden
When you are what made her real
When it was you who made her live
You made her live!
And she sucked you dry of all hope and peace
And she wasted her pure virginity on a posing friend
Who aided the fight
The fight to end it all
The fight so easily lost



"Extinguisher

Destroy it all away
As I beg for you to stay
I want to miss you
But I don't

I'm sorry that my feelings aren't what they're supposed to be
It's because I'm digging out confusion and frustration
But I confuse myself
And you tenderize my heart

I look in the mirrors
And I don't see your face to mine anymore
And I'm so afraid
Because your flame on my candle is burning out

If you're gone
The sun can burn out for all I care
Because if you leave
My only light is extinguished

The two sparkles in your eyes don't shine anymore
Because a long time ago they faded away
Even though you're gone, you're with me in dreams
Because there I kiss your lips



"Parasite"

I'm so happy
You talked to me with your tongue
Don't walk away
You're the air that fills my lungs

You gaze and stare at me
Like you think that I'm weak
That's just a lie you believe
Because you think that I'm too meek

Pink velvet skin
So stretched throughout time
From people I have been
To the personality that's mine

Emerald green jewels
Look out onto me
My life is my tool
To fix all I see

Brown flowing waves
That remind me of you
I'm sorry I can't be brave
But you can be like me too

I draw upon your face
To try and change your looks
Only you can fill the space
Torn open and exposed by love's hooks

You make me fade away
And fill me with a heart
You make me want to stay
Instead of begging to depart

You're thoughts inside my head
The one I love so dear
The lover in my bed
And the only thing I fear

Help me, help me
I need you more than ever
Love me, love me
I want to be together forever

You're the taste inside my mouth
The love I can't explain
My life inside a house
A feeling I can't detain

Clip off the white angel wings
So I can deserve you
Be the one that love brings
Just pay attention to me so I can love you



"Genocidal"
I wait for the next morning
But tomorrow never comes
I wait for you to stay
But I can't feel it, because I'm too numb

I haven't stopped loving you, I'm never quite done
My white eyes can't take your light
My hair blocks the sun
And I won't put up a fight

You are the candle on my flame
You're the knob outside the door
You are the drug that won't sustain
And the need inside for more

Even you can't contain my thoughts
You'll never medicate my life
Did I turn out to be different than what you thought you bought
I'm the king of endless strife

An entire world of shrinks won't take away the hate
That devours me inside
The feeling is never late
Nor is it something that I hide

After all of this, I hope you suffer
The love is a lie
It's going to get tougher
There is no real reason to try



"Goodbye"

I'm just sitting in the attic all alone
With the door locked so no one can hear my heart moan
With half my heart gone, there's no reason for me to live
People say I need love, but no one evr wants to give

I'll pile these dusty boxes up against the door
I've got just one bullet, and I doubt I'll need more
I can't believe that it's finally come to this
I really doubt this will be a life I'll miss

I gently scribble down my final goodbye note
And pull out dad's old rifle from under a coat
I nervously load the bullet into the gun
I can't seem to help it that this life isn't anymore fun

There's not such a thing as help for me
You won't be sad, just wait...you'll see
I put the gun in my mouth and shot myself
The silence shattered, but slowly recollected itself

No one was home so no one heard the blast, so bold
After a few minutes my body turns cold
It's almost pathetic how my body just lays there
The floor is soaked with so much blood and hair

It took mom two whole days to find me
I hope the world just learns to forget me
Goodbye world, my algel awaits
I'm ready sweet goddess, take me to the gates



"Pain"

I sewed my own eyes shut
As the images around mr swirled
Memories of a sweet slut
I cry to forget that girl

I'll hold you above the flames
To see if you will burn
To see if you'll play games
To see if you will learn

I look and see a sweet little girl
Who took away the pain
Who was the bed, that inside I could curl
The one who finally showed me shame

What I choose is always hate
Love is too innocent and weak
The only pain is what I create
And the memories strive to leak

It seems too easy to hurt
When your body's not strong enough to stop it
And your heart is not alert
But after its all gone you always miss it

I dug out my eyes
To see if I could see
All I heard were cries
All I saw was me



"Shallow"

I'm starting to feel so bad
Because now I'm not gettting anymore
You cut me off
And I feel like I'm in withdrawl

At first you liked me
And I wanted you
But now you're the girl I never see
And I can't get over you

Maybe I'm shallow
Or just hormonal
But I just want you now
And you won't let me come over

Look at me right now
I can't even think straight
I don't know what to do
But I'll go upstairs and masturbate

My friends tell me I should tell you how it is
But then you would just go and dump my ass again
And screw around with my friends
And I wouldn't be getting anymore

I think I'm shallow
I can't help it that I'm only fifteen
You still feed me these little bits
And I can't help but stare at your tits



"Pathetic"

You said you used to dream of me
And I would dream of you
But now you don't call me
And I can't help but always miss you

When can I see you again
I miss you so bad
And I'm so afraid
You're gonna walk right out the door

I tried so hard to be what you wanted
But I guess it wasn't enough
Maybe I could keep trying
But only if you want me to

Now I've got this awful sensation
Deep in the recesses of my stomach
Where a scream originates I guess
And I won't eer go away

It burns sometimes
Kind of like when I piss
Or kind of like a match
But a little worse than that



"Forever and Ever"

My love
I love her so
I'm stupid
I believe that she loves me
I hope that she could love me again
Like she loved me then
But love can't last forever
And through my dreams I see her angelic face
Love is in me, but is missing in her
Will she love me?
No one can be sure
Not me, not her
I wish that I could know that you loved me at least a little
And inside I say goodbye
Just as your lips meet his
As his tongue passes over your teeth
But I'm not jealous, because I'm busy being so sad
Because I won't be able to see the sun again
And I can only hope that my heart will blossom again
Without this love, newly-torn out of me
I know that I need you
But whenever I run to you, you run away
Look me in the eyes and please don't let me cry
Even though you've already forgotten me in your mind
I can't hope to be so kind
I'll miss you all the while
And hide it in my heart
Where I keep everything I love
Few in number as they are
And my most priceless one is lost
Forever and a day, but she's still alive in a way
I'll miss you more than life
But you do love him more than me
So I'll grant your wish
And put our relationship out of its misery
With a final goodbye to the head
I can't believe a small simple phrase could hurt so much
The euthanasia of my heart, I mean
Please be happy, and go on
So at least one of us can
So at least you can be happy
I'm now alone like before
And I hope you both fall in love
Over my hearts remains
You are going to walk to his house
And I'm going to sob all the way home
Who is going to be there when I need another chance
I'll hold back the tears as I whisper goodbye
You know you made us cry



"Wall"

I'm starting to get really scared
People are figuring me out
Now they know why I act like I do
And they're tearing me apart

I'm not allowed to hide anymore
Because my wall crumbled down days ago
It wasn't that strong to begin with
But at least it kept me in

Now that it's gone they can all come in
Take a look around
Tear it all away
And dissect what they have found

I'm really panicking now
I can't act weird anymore
Because they won't let me be
Because they robbed me of everything in here

I vainly attempt to build a makeshift wall
But it just falls apart
Over and over, and over again
Until I give up, quit, and cry

Things are going to be different now
I have to put on a mask to be me
To fill in the empty, gaping space
Left by the wall



"Slam Dancing With Mr. Brownstone"

I'll stick you in my vein
So you'll take away my pain
I can't wait for you to start
When you reach my heart

Everything is getting all fuzzy
He thinks I'm high, does he?
I'm glad that this isn't a sin
Because my head is starting to spin

I know I'm beginning to drool
But this feeling is way too cool
There is no way I can o.d.
I'm okay, I'm fine, you'll see

He does it too, he really does
This female hero is giving me a buzz
It feels so good, I couldn't even frown
I wonder how it'll feel when I finally come down

I'm in such a daze
And surrounded by haze
The feeling just made me shout
And now I'm praying that I don't pass out



"Licorice Dreams and Lollipop Lies"

I'm so apathetic that I'm actually starting to care
I'm so depressed
The ice cream man keeps handing me steak
And everyone just doesn't understand
Why I just want a hug instead of sex
And a promise instead of an apology
I'm so sad
Because everyone who doesn't like me thinks I'm cute
No one can understand that a freak can be so sensitive
And a jock can be so cold
I don't want to screw around, just a hand to hold



"Levey"

I somehow found my way into a church today
It was impossible for me to muster the stomach to stay
The one simple thought of God
Was a thorn that couldn't be shook off

The religion in my soul, my only asphyxiation
Like the lies started with your sobbing crucifixion
You vainly attempted to save the whole land
With a pound of a hammer that put a nail through your hands

Your book of lies
Brings sweet tears to my eyes
The believed lies of hypocrisy
Is the one tool to fill the world with animosity

I've never been scared
No one has ever been spared
The commandments, just a simple game
Look to your savior to lay your own blame

The light shines on, as if on some strange mission
My darkness eclipses it, and gives off a weird emission
My strange love is branded on my heart
And it pierces like a dart

Why question me when I try
Why don't I care? I couldn't explain why
I look out the window of my soul
Is it a window? No, more of a hole

I can show you where you want to go
I'll tell you all you need to know
Come with me I'll show you more
Your mother Mary was a whore

The army is led to your place of light
Our stomachs turn at the sight
You can't win, you'll never learn
We're coming to the gates to make it all burn



"Hateful Anarchy"

We're all dammed
But some have found the way
I'm the one who manipulates what I hate
I'm the truth buttered with lies
And hate mixed with sweet love
We all have so many infinite possibilities...
To be creators of love
Or destroyers of light
Please don't try to tell me why I am like I am
I'm my only authority
I'm the one who shoots the doves
I'm your festering sore
Feelings are so incomplete
Because one can't really live without the other
Love without hate leaves you vulnerable
But hate without love...
That can survive
Because hate isn't weak and pathetic like love
Hate can't be taken advantage of and twisted
Hate never deserts us and leavs us crying
I'm the black sun, shining through the day
I'm everyone that you ask to stay
I am the epitome of corrupted innocence
I'll be what scares you in your nightmares



"I Can't Help But Love You"

Why am I so scared of losing you?
Is there anything left to be scared of losing?
You assure me you won't leave
But your eyes wander away...
And I can't help but be afraid
Maybe I am going blind
But that glimmer in your eye doesn't shine anymore
I see you outside
And I don't really want to talk because I'm scared of what I'll say
So I just walk by
Because "I love you" isn't enough for you anymore
I guess I took you for granted
But you shouldn't withhold the only thing that gives me comfort
You
Because you opiate my life
And take it all away
But why am I still with you?
Maybe I'm just frightened at the though of being alone
Or maybe it's just because I'm so different
Or because I can't seem to find anyone else
Could it be that my mindis glorifying you
Maybe I just want you to be pretty
So in my head you are
I can't explain this anymore
Why I feel like I do
Why you make me feel like you do
Why I can feel at all
Why I'm me



Home
Poetry
Cute Stuff
My poetry
About Me
My Pictures
DB's webpage

Email: sugar_200@hotmail.com