Faith Fighters For Christ

Christian Martial Arts Ministry

Former Victims in Christian Martial Arts

Martial arts attracts all kinds of people. Each person has a specific reason for training. But one of the most prevalent types of people who show up for instruction are former victims-ranging from childhood abuse to domestic violence. These people are usually looking to keep the abuse from happening again. Some people bring their children in hopes that they will learn self-defense and confidence to avoid the problems of the parents. But Christian martial arts, because of the caring, accepting aspect brought by our relationship with Jesus Christ, definitely is an important avenue of healing for some former victims.

Former victims look for control over their own lives. Whether a person was abused as a child, mugged as an adult, or was brutalized by a spouse, someone who has been a victim lost a tremendous amount of control about themselves. Mental manipulation is also a very common abuse. This, first, brings a person to question one's own judgement. It does not matter whether it is a one-time confrontation or several years of abuse, there is now a lot of mental and emotional confusion, which distorts the person's "alarm system" for danger. Without that internal discernment coupled with horrible memories, the former victim is always on guard for his or her own safety.

Physical and sexual abuses stick in the memory of the survivor for the rest of that person's life. He or she would do whatever possible to avoid having this happen ever again. Sometimes, a new student will come in actually wanting to be able to learn skills to exact revenge upon his abusers. There are women who will come into a karate school in order to learn how to keep their husbands from harming them. Many are either combative (reactionary) or very fearful. They simply want to gain control over their own bodies and lives.

Combatives and exercise are usually a stress release for survivors of abuse and/or assault. If the person feels the environment is a safe one in which to learn, then experimentation during instruction will happen. During this time, the survivor will be getting physical exercise that helps release pent up energy. Any reasonable workout routine will help, but martial arts was the choice of this person—probably the first independent decision made for a very long time. Being able to punch and kick, yell, learn joint locks and pressure points aids the survivor in working through some emotions that are either explosive or have been repressed. For anyone who has lost control of one's life, there is a tremendous amount of tension and energy released.

Everyone needs to be loved and accepted. Failure to thrive in infants is known to end the lives of countless babies. But I dare to say that many youth and adults are simply empty shells walking around, trying to get through what life throws at them. Without being encouraged or lifted up, most give up. However, when the survivor finds acceptance and encouragement at a Christian martial arts school/ministry, this person has the opportunity to blossom. The love of Christ exhibited in the instructors and other students fill up that empty area in this student's life. If a school is performance-based and the instructor is out to make a buck, then "failure to thrive" continues. This is not to say that everything the student does or says is acceptable. But that the person is always acceptable, regardless of the baggage that comes in. The behavior changes over time. Love and acceptance is crucial to the successful growth of the survivor. The survivor then becomes a Victor in Christ.

Signs of Concern

Reading the signs of former abuse or assault is important in reaching these hurting people. Whether you are a survivor, an instructor, or an interested student, this checklist will be valuable to your understanding:

• Either very shy, not looking anyone in the eye for any length of time, or very outgoing to flamboyant, using eye contact as a control measure.
• Either eager to learn and to please or "already knows everything there is to know about karate".
• Lack luster in the workouts and wants to "hide" behind others or boldly placing oneself in front and center of everyone for attention, trying to impress anyone who will pay attention.
• Very jumpy at loud noises and and skiddish in confrontation during sparring or self-defense. Or the survivor is not startled by sounds that catch the attention of most other people and are overly aggressive in confrontation during sparring or self-defense.
• Tends to fixate on self-protection. Personal habits are to an extreme in the area of personal safety than the normal, or personal safety is disregarded as if the person wants to be attacked.
• Will at some point insist that the techniques cannot possibly work, challenging the instructor to demonstrate it in supposedly realistic conditions. Some will go so far as to "attack" the instructor or senior student, disregarding the safeties that must be in place for training. This is very dangerous!
• Some "check out" during an aggressive bout, which is a survival mechanism to protect the person's emotional and mental state. This person could be injured and never feel or acknowledge it until the stressor is over. This is called disassociation.
• Some all of a sudden get glazed over eyes and flail at the opponent. This is usually a flashback—mentally the student is in another time and place that reminds them of some former attack.

This is not an exhaustive list, but it should serve as a helpful guide. Survivors usually suffer from post traumatic stress disorder, also known as shellshock. They operate in extremes, which is why these bullet points are listed with "or" on most of them. Many do not know what it means to have balance in life because it was never exemplified. Some lost balance in their lives because their sensibility and discernment was called into question; everything in his or her life's paradigm was harshly tested.

Have You Been A Victim Before?

If this list describes you and you realize you have been a victim, then seek sound Christian counsel. Talk to your pastor or to a trusted Christian friend. Ask them for information regarding a licensed clinical Christian counselor or for a support group in a church that has a good reputation. Go to a good Christ-centered church for Sunday school and worship. Surround yourself with loving, caring people, not those who hurt or manipulate you. Be teachable in your martial arts school, provided that the instructors are trustworthy. If not, then find another school. Also, remember that not everyone is perfect. Do not feel jaded because the instructor, senior student, or someone else you look up to makes a mistake. Everyone is a sinner and saved by grace. Stick with those who try hard to live by God's standards and are also teachable. You are too valuable to live the life of a doormat.

Students and Instructors Can Minister to Former Victims

So what can you do to minister to people who have been hurt so badly? It depends on what role you play in your school/ministry. If you are another student, befriend new students when they come in. Everyone needs to know they are welcome regardless of their backgrounds. Find one person that displays these symptoms and care about them. Listen to their concerns. Encourage them. Do not let them bully you or someone else. Point them to the Lord through prayer, Scripture, and your own life's example. Help them with their techniques that are tough for them to learn. Your friendship is the most important thing you can give a survivor.

If you are an instructor, there is a lot more that rests on you. Survivors will either distrust you or put you on a pedestal—the only way happens to be down, by the way. It is never good to be any student's buddy. But you can become a mentor or set them up with other students as mentors. Show the same interest you would to anyone else in your class. Keep firm, but healthy boundaries set—and enforce them graciously. Stop or reset spars when flashbacks occur or when they look overwhelmed. These students need to be able to regroup their thoughts and composure. Give them responsibilities with which they can succeed. Adjust these responsibilities as their abilities improve. Always show the Bible as a standard for all of life and Jesus as Savior and Lord in your own life. Point them to good, solid churches for guidance and direction. Nothing speaks louder than the example of someone who is a role model. What they see in you they will want to imitate.

This article is the result of my own experiences as a student and instructor, as well as from research done for my college English paper regarding biblically-based counseling being best for domestic violence survivors.

copyrighted 2000 Charlaine Engelhardt all rights reserved