It had been a lovely evening for Matthew and Emma. Michaela had truly outdone herself. The dinner was fabulous, and the company was even better. As Matthew escorted her back to the hotel, Emma felt a wonderful sense of belonging. She felt as though she was finally home. It had been a long time since she'd felt like that. She hoped she would still feel that way tomorrow.
It took twice as long for Ryan to get back to the Chateau as was normal. His ankle was getting worse, and it was his own fault for continuing to walk on it. Worse yet, he'd gotten a chill from the cool evening air. He was beginning to feel decidedly under the weather.
He was really angry at himself, at his mother, at Gretta...
He tried not to think about it as he cleaned up and put on some clean clothes.
Finally, Ryan was able to lie down and elevate his now terribly swollen ankle. He had barely dozed off when he was startled by a loud knock on the door.
Ryan got up painfully and opened the door. Nicholous Ryan entered the room.
"Dr. Bell." he said. "I believe we need to discuss the matter of my sister."
Andrew tossed uncomfortably on the two chairs he had pulled together into a makeshift bed. This was CERTAINLY not a great place to sleep! Mentally, he made a note to furnish the "storage room" with a bed for guests and himself, if this ruckus was to continue.
He sighed to himself. Maybe he hadn't been fair to Colleen. After all, he had his aunt and uncle around. As much as she tried to hide it, Andrew realized that this was the first time Colleen had been separated from her family, and that it was bound to be upsetting. Maybe he should call and cancel with his friends...
Colleen snuggled back into her pillows and tried to get back to sleep. She had a big anatomy lab in the morning, and needed her rest. Still, her thoughts drifted back to the fight with Andrew.
She sighed. It was their first fight, and she was still mad at him. Or at least she tried to be. It was hard to keep her voice of reason - that he hadn't seen his friends in awhile, from keeping her from staying angry. She just missed her parents and her home SO much!
Colleen remembered back to some advice her mother had given her - Marriage is a give and take relationship, and sometimes you have to give more than you get. She tossed and turned, and finally got out of bed and into her robe. Another piece of advice had finally won her over - Don't let the sun set on your anger.
She was just about to open the bedroom door that had closed with a resounding slam just a short time before, when it opened from the other side. Andrew stood in the doorway. They stared at each other for a moment, before speaking at the same time.
"Colleen I'm sorry!"
"Andrew, I'm sorry!"
Andrew grinned sheepishly. "Colleen, darling, I'm sorry. I should have told you that I was going to consent before doing so. I know how much you miss your family, so we'll go back to Colorado if you want."
"Oh, Andrew, I do miss them a lot. I just got angry that you didn't talk to me before hand! But, I don't want you to miss seeing your friends! We'll go to Connecticut."
"No, Colleen, Colorado is fine!"
"Andrew, Connecticut is even better!" She paused. "We're not going to argue over who's going to give in, are we?"
Andrew laughed. "No, I don't suppose that would be very productive! How about a compromise? We'll go to Connecticut for Thanksgiving and Colorado for Christmas?"
"Perfect. Actually, now that I think about it, I get three-and a half weeks off for Christmas anyway, and only a week for Thanksgiving! We couldn't have gone to Colorado even if I wanted to!" Colleen realized sheepishly. "Forgive me?" she asked.
"Only if you forgive me," Andrew said.
"Of course. Now, come back to bed!" They kissed and spent the rest of the night in each other's arms, happy that their first fight had been resolved so easily.
"Nicholous Ryan. Now why am I not surprised."
Dr. Bell paused for a moment, then continued.
"What is it you want? Your sister isn't here, if that's what you're thinking. I don't understand why you should want to discuss this..."matter" with me. I truly hardly know the girl..."
Nicholous paused for a moment, then said,
" I realize Gretta...Victoria thinks a great deal of you. I certainly hope you haven't become an undue influence on her. For your own sake...as much as hers."
Nicholous glared at Ryan, who returned the glare in kind, and did not back down.
" Certainly that couldn't be a threat Mr.Ryan...was it? As I've already asked you. What is it you want? The hour is getting late, Mr. Ryan, and unless you have something more to say, I shall have to ask you to leave. Perhaps if you'd make an appointment at the clinic, I'd be able to see you then." Ryan said, with just a hint of sarcasm.
Nicholous could see that he was getting nowhere.
"She will return to Switzerland. I will see to it. Neither you, nor anybody is going to prevent that from happening. Do I make myself clear?"
"Quite clear." Ryan answered, as Nicholous finally left, letting himself out. Helping Gretta stay in Colorado was not going to be an easy task. Ryan wondered if it was really worth it. After all, he still had his mother to think about.
Gretta sat in a chair staring out the window into darkness and space. She would NOT go back to Switzerland. Under no conditions, would she give in!
Would she be so weak as that? Never! Rules and regulations had crushed her free spirit at a very young age, and she had given in to everything and everyone.
Until Johann. She had been strong when he was near. She had felt as though she could swim the seven seas, or climb the highest mountain. She had felt as though she could defy her family and run away. And they thought that they could just lift a finger and put an end to it? No! She would not go back! For Johann, she would not face her family!
Star
Gretta sat bolt upright. It was one of those moments that had seemed to be disappearing rapidly, where she could feel Johann, and almost, SEE him.
Star
That had been HIS name for her. One day while her family was away, she had been discussing how words were more beautiful in some languages than in others, even when they meant the same thing. He had asked her what language 'star' had been most beautiful in. Reciting it off in four languages, he had declared the English word the most beautiful and fitting.
"The word is small," he had said, "like a star, and beautiful, like a star. It seems to describe even the twinkle of a star, without even saying that a star twinkles." He laughed. "Like you! Beautiful, small, but you're more dazzling than twinkling. I shall call you 'Star'!" and from then on, he had.
Gretta thought of how happy she had been. She wasn't happy now. In fact, she hadn't been happy since she'd left Switzerland. She had been grateful, but not happy, not truly happy.
'that's because he's not with me,' she thought. Suddenly, it all came clear. Why she hadn't been happy, why she hadn't been able to start over. Why her past had come back to her.
It wasn't finished. He was still in her life. How could she start over when something from her past was still with her? She had been weak to run away, she saw that now. She had been weak not to face her family. She had runaway from everything, from her responsibility.
"I never ended my life back there," she said aloud, "So how can I start a new life when I'm still living my old life?" She would go back, she HAD to go back. She would face her family, she would say good-bye, to Johann and her father, and then it would be finished. Then, and only then could she start over. Then, she would come back and start fresh. She knew what she had to do. She had to make things right.
Now Gretta would have to find a way to do just that. But how could she make things right in Switzerland without ruining things here in Colorado? She imagined Michaela and her family would understand, but what about Ryan?
She knew that he was already upset and annoyed with her for various reasons...but now, after she practically begged him to help her stay in Colorado...not to mention causing friction between him and his mother...he was still willing to assist her.
She wondered if Ryan would be so willing to support her if he knew she had changed her mind. Before Gretta could make things right with her old life, she was going to have to make things right with her current situation...so she'd have something good to go back to when she returned.
Gretta quickly put on her nightclothes and got into bed. She prayed that she could do what needed to be done.
The next morning when Colleen woke up Andrew was not in bed with her.
"He must have left for work." Colleen thought, then she just remembered that today is a Saturday and Andrew doesn't go to work on the weekend. The office is closed. "I wonder where Andrew is?"
Colleen got dressed and went downstairs and when she went to the kitchen she smelled something good. "Andrew!" Colleen said. "What are doing in the kitchen?" "Oh good morning, my sweet angel! I am cooking you a makeup breakfast!" Andrew said. "Oh Andrew, you didn't have to!" Colleen said. "Andrew, why don't we eat later and go back to bed… I have something very nice to show you." Andrew dropped everything and said, "Well Mrs. Cook, I will follow you."
Andrew followed Colleen into the bedroom, after a careful glance told him that their breakfast wouldn't be ruined if he left it for awhile...
"What is it, Colleen?" Andrew asked.
"Well," Colleen smiled. "I just wanted to say how sorry I am for starting that fight with you last night..."
"Colleen, it's all right...we forgave each other, remember?"
Colleen blushed slightly. "I know. I had so much on my mind last night...I even thought my anatomy lab was today...but it's on Monday! Does medical school ever get any easier, Andrew?" Andrew grinned, shaking his head, "Perhaps at graduation..." he mused. "I did have something to show you...and a favor to ask..."
Colleen said. "I got a letter from Ma. She says she loves us and she misses us...and that she knows that we couldn't possibly get home for Thanksgiving, even though I said we were going to."
Andrew put his arm around Colleen.
"I know you wanted to see them...but we can still have Christmas there."
"I know." Colleen said, a bit sadly. "Now that I'm thinking clearly, I remembered my conversation last week with Erin. She was hoping we could be here for Christmas...for Alexandra and Nathaniel."
She paused for a moment.
"Sasha will be well into her ninth month by then."
Andrew looked at Colleen. Although he was sure that the Penningtons would be just fine if he and Colleen went to Colorado, after all, Clara was there, as was Charles Harrison, and Nathaniel was certainly capable of delivering his wife's baby if necessary...and he was not the only doctor in Philadelphia, Andrew could tell that Colleen had been having second thoughts.
"We can do whatever you think is best, darling." Andrew said soothingly.
"This is where the favor comes in..." Colleen summoned up the courage..." Remember when I said that I didn't want any fancy furniture...that I wanted you to save your money for an emergency?" Andrew looked at her quizzically. "Of course, I do...is there something wrong?"
Colleen smiled, "Well, no, but wouldn't you call it an emergency of sorts, if we couldn't go to Colorado for Christmas?" Andrew began to understand. "It would be quite an emergency, yes..." Colleen continued, "...but if you could make it right, perhaps it doesn't have to be..."
Andrew smiled broadly. "If your parents, and your brothers and sister could, say...come to Philadelphia for Christmas...an emergency could well be prevented! They couldn't afford it so soon after their last trip here, so...I know! We could send them tickets for the train! Do you think that would be all right, Colleen?"
"Oh, Andrew!" Colleen exclaimed, "Could we? Could we really have Ma and Pa over for Christmas...our first Christmas in our own home?!" "Of course we can! We'll send the tickets as soon as possible!" Colleen hugged Andrew tightly. "I love you so much, Andrew!!! Oh Erin will be so delighted!!! I love you!" Colleen exclaimed. "And I love you too, Colleen!" Andrew said, as he began kissing her. They continued kissing until they both entirely forgot about breakfast...
Things in Philadelphia were really taking shape. The Penningtons and Erin were thrilled that the Cooks would be staying for Christmas, when the news was announced at the small house-warming party that Colleen and Andrew threw to "christen" their new flat.
It was really a load off Alexandra's mind that there would be not one but three doctors plus two doctors-in-training to attend to her and the baby. All though she didn't readily admit it, she was a little nervous about giving birth! Colleen and Erin were both doing wonderfully in school, although Erin and Catherine were on less than speaking terms still. Charles was still working to rectify that situation. All in all, as October drew to a close, Colleen, Andrew and their friends couldn't be happier.
Several days had passed since Gretta had made her decision to face up to her past. Things had not gone at all the way she'd planned. When she went to talk to Nicholous, he became so angry and self-righteous; Gretta ended up telling him she'd never go back to Switzerland as long as HE lived. Of course she hadn't really meant it, but Nicholous had always known how to upset her terribly...
To make matters worse, her dear friend Ryan Bell had been unavailable for the past few days.
Michaela had been to visit him. Seems he had taken a fall on his way back from walking Gretta home. He'd sprained his ankle badly, and caught a chill, which eventually would have led to pneumonia, if Michaela hadn't intervened.
As it was, the bronchitis was bad enough. Daphne was terribly upset that her son...a doctor, for heaven's sake...should have neglected his own health so and allowed himself to become so ill.
She even resisted the urge to tell him...more than once or twice; that he was just like his father had been...knowing how that annoyed him. (Funny how that never stopped her before, but Daphne was really worried!)
So for the time being, Mrs. Bell was never far from her son, in fact, she was staying with him in his room at the Chateau instead of in her own, and so Gretta, who blamed herself for Ryan's illness, stayed away.
She didn't wish to cause any more trouble. It was already the middle of October. Gretta's birthday was tomorrow, and the holidays were fast approaching. "Perhaps I'll put things right after Christmas." she thought ruefully. What more could she do? Gretta felt more alone than ever.
Matthew stared down at the books in front of him. He mentally toyed with the thought that had been floating about in his mind for months now. Should he go to law school in Denver? If he went now, maybe he and Emma could be married in a couple of years? She hadn't said yes yet, and he hadn't technically asked her. Would she say yes? Would she go away again? He kept on thinking
Brian didn't go back to the orchard for a long time, and when he finally went, he took Sarah with him. She was waiting on him, now, outside the Gazette. He noticed how tall and slender, and awfully pretty she was getting to be. He grabbed his coat and ran out to meet her.
Michaela and Katie had a wonderful afternoon together. They saw patients all morning long, and then had lunch together at Grace's, visited Dorothy, went to the General Store, and then Katie had a nap while Michaela updated her patient files. Sully was out setting traps before the first frost came, and so they had the whole day together. Matthew was probably with Emma, and Brian had been at school and then was going to the Gazette. He told her he might be late for supper.
Someone knocked at the door.
"Come in!"
In walked a dazzling woman in fashionable clothes, her blonde hair piled neatly on her head.
"Oh my, Gilda St. Clair!" Michaela exclaimed. She quickly hurried over to shake Gilda's hand.
"How are you? Its been quite a while since we've seen you."
Gilda laughed lightly. "I've been absolutely fine. I've never felt better in life, with my career blooming everyday." Gilda stopped to look around the room. A slight concerned expression fell on her face. "Where's Colleen? I was hoping to have a nice chat with her."
"Colleen? She's in Philadelphia." Michaela said.
"All the way there? Visiting, I suppose?" Gilda said.
"Why no, she's attending college. We're just so proud of her. She's accomplished so much in her life and made great choices."
Gilda gave Michaela a weak smile. "Yes, yes, of course. College. Well, that is it for now. I just wanted to stop by....tah-tah."
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