Colleen stared excitedly out the train window. She had been looking forward to this moment for two years. The day when she would return home..... for good. And now she was returning with Andrew, her husband of two years. They had celebrated their two year anniversary two months before.

"Nervous?" Andrew asked quietly.

Dr. Colleen Cook turned to her husband, Dr. Andrew Cook. She was well aware that he was aching for children and they finally felt the liberty to 'try' with all they had. She was anxious to have children, too. Colleen shrugged in answer to his question. "I grew up here, Andrew."

"Sure," Andrew agreed. "But we both know how they are about outsiders."

"I'm not an outsider," Colleen mumbled. "But I know what you mean."

Andrew leaned over and kissed her temple. "Don't worry about it, Colleen," he said. "How can't they love you? You're Colleen."

"Colleen Cook," Colleen said with a smile, realizing her last name also set her apart some.

"My Colleen Cook," Andrew agreed, kissing her mouth gently.

"Don't get too possessive in public," Colleen teased, making him reach over and lightly tickle her so she laughed. "I haven't told you I love you yet today, have I?"

"You still haven't," Andrew bantered.

"Mmm, I love you," Colleen said, kissing him.

"I love you more," he said.

Colleen grinned, recognizing their ongoing argument. "I love you more," she said, emphasizing the word 'you.'

They went back and forth like this for a few minutes, playful kisses between words, before the conductor shouted the next stop was Colorado Springs. Colleen tore her eyes from her husband's and looked up at the conductor. He did not know what he was doing when he announced that. He was announcing how close she was to home.

"Everything will be fine," Andrew said. "You're a doctor. They respect people with high education."

"And I'm a woman," Colleen muttered. "Besides," she said in a more normal tone, "I'm already married. They don't like the idea of married women working, you know that."

"They do fine with your mother," Andrew reminded.

"She didn't go to Colorado a married woman," Colleen said.

"She didn't grow up there, either," Andrew said. He smiled slightly. "Would you relax? It's Colorado Springs, love, not London. It isn't like you don't know this place."

"What if I don't?" Colleen asked. "I'm coming back a completely different person and I know this place has changed, too."

Andrew chuckled. "Don't worry," he said.

"You're right, you're right," Colleen said with a small sigh. She paused. "But I can't help it, Andrew."

Andrew let out a breath and turned to her. "You're wearisome,"

he said teasingly. "Relax, love, relax. They're going to be thinking how beautiful you are, how grown up, and how incredibly lucky I am to be married to the most wonderful, most breath taking woman in the world." He enunciated his words with a kiss.

Colleen smiled. "Patronizer."

"Lover," he whispered, nuzzling her neck. "What do you say we start working on that baby?"

Colleen muffled her giggle. Teasing conversations like this made their marriage a sweet one. Andrew always knew how to cheer her up, or let her be sad. They were always there for each other. It was something Colleen had always loved about their relationship.

"Not in my parents' house," Colleen said, grinning.

Andrew grinned. "Aw, shucks," he teased, speaking like a schoolboy purposely since he knew it amused his wife.

"You're awful," Colleen said, still restraining her laugh. "And you're crazy."

"Crazy for you," said Andrew. "Original line, isn't it?"

Colleen shortly laughed. "It's our stop."

Glancing out the window, Colleen immediately saw her family. There was four year old Katie, sixteen year old Brian, six month pregnant Michaela, and twenty-six year old Matthew. Colleen inwardly sighed when she realized her father was not there and wondered what trouble he had gotten himself into. He had managed to pull a few strings and get his Indian agent job back but he still was on the edge. The things he put himself and his family through for the Cheyenne.... Colleen was not looking forward to whatever plan he might concoct. He, somehow, always managed to get out of the trouble but not before putting everyone through hell. It had brought Andrew and Colleen closer, she had to credit him, but he certainly had not done that on purpose.

"Sully isn't here," Andrew said quietly.

"I noticed," Colleen said with a worried tone.

Andrew put a light hand on the small of her back as they exited the back of the train. Colleen forgot her worries temporarily as her family called out their excited greetings and she ran forward. Andrew watched her greet her family with hugs. They had seen them a month ago for graduation ceremonies but Colleen always missed them. They had been finishing up business in Philadelphia then went and spent time with their families in Boston. Andrew studied his slim, beautiful wife and wished more than anything that his parents could meet her. He was certain even they would have loved her.

"Andrew," Michaela greeted, breaching the professional boundary to hug her son-in-law. She was smiling, delighted to have her daughter back. Katie was still too small to be much of a daughter. Colleen, however, had always reminded her so much of herself. She had sense, though, something Michaela lacked often when she charged headfirst into a stupid situation. Michaela envied her daughter's small waist and smiled to herself to think how quickly her daughter would probably become pregnant now that she was out of school for good.

"I'm so glad they let you work your internship with me," Michaela was saying to Colleen, herding her off.

Andrew watched for a minute before turning back to her handsome brothers. "Where's Sully?" he asked as they headed for the luggage. Most of their luggage had come the day before on a separate train. Their furniture from their townhouse and all their little trinkets. Matthew, Sully, Brian, and a few others had been building a house for the Cooks much like Sully's. Andrew was looking forward to when it would be done in a few weeks. In the meantime, they would live with Michaela, Sully, Katie, and Brian.

"Who knows?" Brian asked. Andrew caught the slight resentment in his voice and felt sorry for him. Brian was having a hard relationship with the man he wanted to adopt him. Sully disappeared often, never telling anyone and making them all worry. It was getting to Brian finally after several years of it.

"We haven't seen him in about a week," Matthew explained, more detached. "We got a telegram from Montana, though, from him. He helped an Indian get up there."

"He said he was heading to Kansas," Brian added, less harshness in his voice. "Kansas," he repeated in repulsion.

"I take it he's done this a lot lately," Andrew said, half asking.

"Some," Matthew allowed. Sully was like a surrogate father, an older brother really, and he was ready to defend him. He knew what it was like to sacrifice for something he was passionate about, something he felt that was worthwhile. He had given up his family for a while when he decided to continue law. Michaela had been furious. But law fascinated him and he wanted to help put men and women who harmed others, innocent people, in jail. The whole 'justice for all' deal. Matthew sometimes wondered if he was a sucker because he believed in the system but then realized that the system would only work effectively when people stopped taking law into their own hands. Matthew also realized that, eventually, they were going to have to start prosecuting those who reaped their own revenge.

Matthew had great vision.

"He needs to travel," Matthew said. "The tribes continue moving and he follows up on them all. He wants to show the government he's going to do his job correctly."

"And he's doing a great job, apparently," Brian said drily. "They've given him a bunch of promotions and raises."

"Good for him," Andrew said cautiously, hearing the boy's spite. He could hardly believe how big Brian was. He never got over how children grew up so quickly. He met Brian when he was twelve, voice squeaking and uneven weight. Now he was building into a strong young man like Sully and Matthew.

Going to the homestead, Colleen saw how it had slowly expanded over the course of two years. There were extra rooms, the barn was larger, the corral out front had been expanded. Sully was making room for a family.

Colleen and Andrew were moving in temporarily but they were only going to be in her old room and they were only planning to be there a month. Colleen wondered about that until she figured Sully just wanted to do something nice for Michaela. Her parents were deeply in love. They always wanted to please each other.

Colleen was enchanted by their relationship and was delighted her marriage to Andrew had, so far, turned out so well. They fought, of course, but always solved it. Andrew respected her, as Sully respected Michaela, and

that was the key. They were not doormats but they respected their wives.

Colleen thanked God for a countless time for such a wonderful, loving, caring family. She hoped her family with Andrew turned out so well and could only hope for the best. And pray.

Colleen could also only hope for the best as she walked into her mother's clinic the next morning. Andrew had gone out on an instant call, Michaela being too worn from her pregnancy to do it. Colleen was going to assist for the first day of being a doctor. She was interning for her mother for six months.

I feel like it's my first day of school, Colleen thought ruefully. Truth be known, Colleen was terrified. How would they react? Would she feel isolated? And she did not have Andrew to lean on. He had left minutes after they arrived for a premature childbirth. He had said Colleen should stay, get rest, and Colleen agreed. Andrew had not returned but those kinds of things were rarely solved overnight.

"Colleen!" Dorothy greeted, coming over quickly. Colleen smiled to see her mother's best friend, next to Sully.

"Dorothy," Colleen returned, briefly hugging her. "How are you?"

"I'm gettin' along," Dorothy said. "Newspaper's kinda slow since Cloud Dancin' and I married but, ya know." Colleen nodded as the older woman sighed. Colleen was surprised that Dorothy had not been completely shunned for her long-time relationship with the Cheyenne Indian.

"I'm sorry I couldn't come to the wedding," Colleen said. She was surprised with herself when she realized she no longer cut off the last sounds of the word, as Dorothy did. Colleen had done that all her life. Living in high society had made her conscious of her speech and Colleen had worked at changing the way she spoke. Apparently, she had been successful. "I was busy with school."

"Oh, no, it's fine," Dorothy brushed it off. "It was a small affair."

"But a big deal," Colleen said. "Anyway, I'm sorry. Andrew and I both are."

"Both of you doctors," Dorothy marveled. "It's fascinatin'. Hope you don't mind but I'm preparin' a story 'bout you and Andrew." Colleen's eyebrows raised. "You're the first doctor, and certainly the first lady doctor, to come from Colorado Springs."

Colleen smiled. "That sounds great, Dorothy, thank you. If I can help you at all, or Andrew, let us know."

"How's it goin' with Andrew, by the way?" Dorothy asked. "Ya'll were so happy on your weddin' day. I know Michaela was concerned about how the marriage come about so quickly but I thought you were happy."

"It's great," Colleen said, thinking of her priceless marriage. "It really is. I'm delighted that I had Andrew in Philadelphia. Truth is, I don't know what I would've done without him. How's Cloud Dancing?"

"Oh, he's fine," Dorothy said, a twinkle in her eyes and life in her voice that did not escape Colleen's notice. Colleen felt more equal with the woman now, both of them being married and adults. "He's off with Sully somewhere."

"This whole thing is great," Colleen said. "With you and Cloud Dancing. You beat all odds."

"Love does some crazy things," Dorothy said with a sigh.

Colleen smiled. "That it does," Colleen agreed. "I haven't seen so much life in you since I met you years ago as I do when you talk about him."

Dorothy blushed and it was endearing. "Oh, pooh," Dorothy said, making Colleen grin to herself. "What's it like bein' a doctor? That's excitin' stuff, Colleen. Dr. Colleen Cook."

The said smiled again. The smile seemed to be genuinely pasted on her dark lips. "I haven't yet practiced as a doctor," Colleen said. "So I'm kinda nervous about all this."

"Ain't nothin'," Dorothy said. "Why, people'll be linin' up just to see the woman who once was a little girl running around with ripped stockin's and wild braids. To see she's now the beautiful young lady married to a fine Boston doctor and a doctor herself!"

Colleen lightly tinted crimson. "You make it sound so extravagant."

"Oh, it is," Dorothy said. "I'm writin' all that in my article. Brian's helpin' me with it. How's it sound?"

"Sounds like you're being generous," Colleen said.

"Well, why don't we go in and ask Michaela?" Dorothy suggested. "See what she thinks. And let you start your first day."

Colleen knew she had no choice so she nodded and let Dorothy hook her arm through hers and lead her in. Colleen looked around the clinic. It had been expanded due to growth in the community but, basically, the front room was still the same. They had another operating room now but the front room could be used in emergencies. Colleen closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. It still smelled faintly of the disinfectant Michaela always used. It was comforting, in a sense, to smell something so familiar. Colleen knew that smell by heart and always would.

"Same as always," Michaela said with a smile. "You haven't been here in six months but it hasn't changed."

Colleen smiled. "I'm just kinda fearful of this day."

"You don't have enough confidence in yourself," Dorothy said. "You've done wonders, Colleen, that ain't no other woman from Colorado Springs ever done before. The only thing to be nervous about is how you're goin' to first ask for a payment."

Colleen grinned. Maybe this first day would not be so bad after all.

"It was a disaster!" Colleen complained to her husband that night in their room. Andrew had been out all day and then he came back to hear his wife had already gone to bed. So he politely had said his due farewells then took the stairs two at a time to go see her. He found her in a bad state and sympathized with her.

"What could be so bad?" Andrew asked. "You've been practicing medicine since long before you even met me."

"I met you four years ago," Colleen said, a small smile coming to her lips, which had been his intent. Andrew grinned. "OK, OK, but it was still horrible. A complete disaster."

"What happened?" Andrew asked curiously.

"First, Dr. Mike is paranoid about me practicing," Colleen said. "She's more nervous now that I have a degree than she was before."

"You're doing more serious things now than you were before," Andrew pointed out.

"Stop being right and let me rant and rave," Colleen said, making him chuckle as he sat on the edge of their bed. Colleen had hardly kissed him when he came in so he had immediately known something was disturbing her. She always kissed him well when they first came together after being apart for a while.

"Sure," Andrew said, amused.

"Mrs. Perkins comes in," Colleen said, beginning her short tale. "I haven't seen her in two years. First thing she says is, 'Oh, honey, have you gained weight? You're filling in so nicely. And so young, too. Why, when I was her age, I met Jacob.' Jacob's her late husband. She was fifteen when she met her husband. And she's still thinking--"

"You're overreacting, love," Andrew said, attempting to hide his amusement. In his opinion, he was doing a lousy job but Colleen was so distressed that she did not notice.

"It doesn't end there," Colleen said, making Andrew cough so he would have an excuse to hide his smile. Colleen was usually so calm, so demure. She was full of life, even if she was exasperated. "Loren Bray walks in. He steps back and asks if it's me, completely mortifying me until I realize he's pulled another trick. I would've seen it a mile away before I left."

"You're not used to him yet," Andrew said. "Granted, it's going to take a little while to readjust, Colleen, we already talked about that."

"But Loren Bray?" she asked. "I didn't catch one of his jokes in time to not be mortified. Brian comes up just in time to hear it and laughs because I didn't get it at first. One little comment, Andrew!"

Andrew did not bother to hide his chuckle as he pulled his wife in his lap. "You know what I think?" Andrew asked quietly, wrapping his arms around her waist. "I think that I'm in love with this woman. This beautiful woman who happens to be a little disoriented at the moment. I married her two years ago, you know. She's nervous about being accepted back into the community she grew up in since before she can remember. Just like she was scared of being accepted in college and medical school, both places she had never been before. And you know what happened? She had more friends than she had time for and did extremely well in everything she did."

"Except her marriage," Colleen teased, making Andrew tickle her. Colleen laughed, a welcome sound to Andrew. She begged for mercy and he let her go until she pounced on him, turning the tickling on him. Colleen smiled down at him.

"There's that beautiful smile I've been missing," said Andrew, gazing up at her. He touched the corner of her lips.

"You know what?" asked Colleen softly, the firelight playing off his dusty brown hair.

"What?" Andrew asked, just as quietly.

"That girl," Colleen said, continuing the game.

"What about her?" Andrew asked, practically whispering.

"The greatest accomplishment to date is her marriage," Colleen said. "She told me so."

"Did she?" he asked playfully.

"We're very close," Colleen replied. "As close as you can get. She said she's married to the most wonderful man in the world. Who's understanding, compassionate, sweet, gentle, and kind. And incredibly handsome."

Andrew gave her a boyish grin she loved. "And she says she's madly in love."

"Madly, huh?"

Colleen sighed and stepped into the clinic the next day, following her mother inside. It always seemed to be like this; following her mother. Colleen was somewhat disgruntled about the whole internship deal. But she would rather be in Colorado Springs than in some other place where she knew absolutely no one, not even the town doctor.

Colleen saw patients all day. But Michaela was hovering over her shoulder. Colleen showed Mrs. Prescott out then turned to her mother. "Ma," she said simply.

"Yes, Colleen?" Michaela asked, turning to her desk and sitting with some difficulty. She had to rearrange herself around her stomach. Michaela had been afraid to get pregnant due to her miscarriage but Sully had helped her through it. Of course.

"Ma, you've been worse than a mother hen today," Colleen said bluntly, making Dr. Mike look up at her. "I'm capable, Ma. I can do this. It's simple checkups."

Michaela studied her daughter before sighing. "Here I was thinking I had backed off," Michaela said.

Colleen smiled. "I know it's your job," Colleen told her. "But I'm your daughter and you know me. There's no reason for you to hover over my shoulder every second. I know the drills."

Michaela looked in her daughter's deep eyes. She smiled gently. "Sorry," Michaela said with a slightly amused tone. "Hungry?"

"Famished," Colleen agreed, a smile pulling on her dark lips.

"Great," Michaela said. "Let's get lunch."

Colleen rested her head on Andrew's arm, holding his hand as they lay in bed together a week later. Colleen had been doing well. No serious disasters had come up and Michaela had backed off. Colleen was resting. She did not want to sleep yet but she was comfortable just lying in her husband's arms.

Colleen felt his soft, even breath lightly touch her neck. He was cuddled up next to her, as they had every night since they were married. Andrew had given up so much for her. For her education. For her dream. Colleen and Andrew both knew that she probably would have married him whether he left the clinic or not. Eventually, she would have. But Andrew had not wanted to lose her. He had not wanted to imagine such a beautiful young woman in a big city with rich, eligible young men.

His rhythmic breathing told Colleen he was sleeping. He had been for some time. Colleen nestled closer to him and closed her eyes, not intending to sleep but simply to rest. It was wonderful to be held like this, in Andrew's protective arms with his soft breath on her neck, his chest pressing against her back with every intake of breath. Colleen reveled in the feeling. It warmed her body still to feel him so close to her. Colleen could hardly believe she had ever doubted Andrew was the one.

Patrick Collins. A sore spot still. In an odd way, the Cooks had come to realize they partially owed Patrick Collins. Had he not made his move then, Andrew would never have gotten the nerve to tell Colleen how he felt that year. And Colleen left in July, not to return until Christmas for only a week. Andrew had spent two years with her three hours away. Having her across the country for just as long terrified him. He knew he could never have asked her to marry him the day or the day after he confessed love, which would have been what he would have done had Patrick Collins not come along.

Colleen was still a little sore over her mother's meddling tactics but had long ago realized it was part of who Michaela was. Nevertheless, it was still very annoying. At least she had not interfered in Colleen and Andrew's marriage. Yet. Colleen smiled as she realized what dubiety she was inflicting in her mother's character.

Colleen listened to the fire crackling to their backs. It was dying down now, she could tell. It was getting darker in their room. Colleen loved sharing her old room with Andrew. It brought back such wonderful memories and Andrew was a constant reminder of the beautiful parts of her life now. Colleen had never been happier. She had a husband. A college and medical degree. She had a functional, happy, growing family with wonderful parents, two brothers, a sister, and another child on the way.

The only thing missing was her own family. Colleen shifted Andrew's arm tighter around her midsection and fidgeted with the wedding band on his left hand, the arm she rested on. Colleen knew how much he wanted a child. She could feel her own arms aching. She knew he would be a wonderful father. He was dedicated, loving, compassionate, and so very ready to start a family with his wife. Colleen had doubts about herself, though. She was twenty-one. What could she know? Andrew was five years older. He was more ready than her.

Colleen pushed the thought out of her mind with asperity. Colleen had never much relied on God but she decided to have faith in His timing. Surely He knew how much a family meant to them both. But Colleen wanted to start a family when the time was right. She wondered how they would know that.

Colleen had nearly drifted to sleep when a sound startled her. Colleen's eyes popped wide open and she saw something flash by her window. She started. They were on the second floor. Who could be up there?

Later, Colleen would realize she should have awakened Andrew, or at least stayed in bed. But her curiosity got the better of her. Colleen crept over to the window when she heard her name whispered. She turned and saw a face in the window. She jumped back a step until he repeated her name.

"Colleen, Colleen, it's me," Sully hissed.

Colleen calmed her rapidly beating heart and walked over to the window. She opened it and helped him in. "Did you forget we have a front and back door for this purpose?" Colleen asked.

Sully grinned and embraced his daughter. "Ya look wonderful, Colleen," Sully said. Colleen flushed. She had not heard him speak so honestly to her in..... never. Sully had always been very reserved about his feelings towards the Coopers. They were not insulted. They were not his children. "And you and Andrew look cute together, too."

Colleen stifled her laugh. "Why are you climbing through my window?" she asked him.

"I forgot you and Andrew would be here now," Sully replied. "I knew this window was always unlocked and the front and back doors are locked. You know I never carry house keys." Colleen nodded. Sully had been captured numerous times by others. He did not want to give them easy, quiet passage into his family's house. "Figured I'd come up here and be quiet."

"Cloud Dancing?" Colleen asked.

"He's with Dorothy," Sully replied. "Michaela home?"

Colleen nodded. "Andrew's been doing all her house calls," she said quietly. "He won't let her."

Sully grinned. "Remind me to thank him," he replied. He briefly enclosed her in his arms again. "Go back to bed."

Colleen watched him creep from the room and shook her head with a quiet laugh. Sully. Her Pa. Always had to do things the hard, quiet way. Colleen went back to bed and fell asleep in her husband's arms.

Colleen and Andrew went down to breakfast to find the entire family there. Sully, Katie, Matthew, Brian, Michaela, then Andrew and Colleen. They had not been together in this house for so long. Even Andrew felt the immense contentment at being together in the house again. Still, he was slightly anxious about getting their own house. He wanted to make a real family with Colleen.

"Ain't ya surprised to see Pa, Colleen?" Brian asked, a little confused about his sister's calm greeting of their father. Brian, resentful that he was, still had enthusiastically hugged his father. Here was his sister, calm with a slight smile.

Colleen smiled. "Pa had a very interesting way of coming in last night," Colleen replied.

"Sully," Michaela reprimanded teasingly. She was delighted to have her beloved husband home again.

Sully grinned and kissed his wife's temple to quiet her rebuke. He knew that it would be coming. "This is great," Sully said as Andrew and Colleen sat together. "We ain't had the whole family together in this house in months. I'm sure glad you moved back, Colleen. You, too, Andrew."

Colleen looked at her Pa oddly. She could never remember him being so outwardly playful and affectionate with his children. With Michaela it was a different story but rarely with his children. He showed the most affection to Brian. Colleen looked at Matthew. He had caught it, too.

"Somethin' good happen, Sully?" Matthew asked for Colleen.

Sully gestured loosely to the table. "This happened," Sully replied. "Cloud Dancin' and I got the Cheyenne a new sergeant. Sergeant O'Connell. Seems he's a great fella. Couldn't be happier." With that, he tossed an affectionate look his pregnant wife's way.

The Coopers and the Cooks exchanged glances. Sully had to have something up his sleeve. They could not remember the last time that he had been so happy because he never outwardly had been. Sully was not one for showing his emotions to anyone but Michaela, whom he called his heartsong. But Sully was openly expressing his elation at his family being under the same roof, on the homestead, again.

For the next week, Sully's good mood continued. Andrew and Colleen ran the clinic together. Michaela and Sully wanted time together. Alone, apparently. Brian graduated school that week, top of his class. Brian began his job with Dorothy at the rapidly growing newspaper. Loren Bray had helped the town with their prejudice on the chief editor's marriage. It did not seem to be such a big issue to them anymore. They were wary of Cloud Dancing, even though he had been a peaceful, helpful citizen of Colorado Springs for over two years.

Three weeks after arriving, the Cook homestead was finished. Sully had gone over and diligently worked every morning. Colleen and Andrew would exchange a look while he whistled. They finally learned that Daniel was on his way. He would be there in two more weeks. Daniel had left to find something in the world for himself. He had his fortune. He wanted to find a place to settle down.

The trail had led him back to Colorado Springs. So Sully had his best friend back in town. That put Sully in a fantastic mood.

Moving day for Colleen and Andrew Cook was nerve wracking. Sully, Matthew, and Brian had all been helping them with the furniture. Most of the furniture had been rented but they brought some with them. The rest was being constructed. Sully had fashioned it after his own house. A smaller version, of course, but it was obviously by the same man. Colleen and Andrew thanked him countless times for all the work he had put into their house.

All day, every recognizable townsman, and woman, came to help the Cooks move in. That helped Colleen. She had felt so alienated lately, like Andrew was the only truly existing person in her life. Everyone coming made her feel better.

Andrew sat on the front porch that evening. It was a warm night, not yet in the middle of summer but in early summer so the air was not sticky. Colleen stood silently in the open doorway and watched her husband gaze around him. Colleen felt that same awe. Their own house. Their own life. Together. This was their real house. The brownstone in Philadelphia had simply been temporary. This was where they wanted to raise their family. This was where they wanted to grow old together.

Andrew sensed his wife's presence and turned to see her. He smiled and put his hand out. Colleen returned the soft smile and walked forward, stepping down the single step from the door. She put her hand in Andrew's them moved around to sit between his legs on the top step. Andrew wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. It was the first time they got to be solely together since they arrived in Colorado Springs. There was no four year old in the room over, no parents down the hall, no sixteen year old young man on the other side of the Cooks' bedroom.

Just them.

"Our own house," Colleen said, soaking in everything. She closed her eyes and leaned back against Andrew. She rested her head back on his shoulder, her back to his chest. Andrew bowed his head to rest his chin on her slim shoulder and turned his head to the side, lightly kissing her neck. "Alone," Colleen said, distracted by her husband.

"Completely alone," Andrew agreed. Colleen and Andrew looked at each other, grinned, then went inside for the night.

The time flew by for the Cooks. Two months went by. Occasional arguments arose but nothing they could not handle. They had learned how to deal with marital problems while in Philadelphia. In a way, Colleen thought that was best. There had been no interested family trying to solve their problems for them, thrusting unwarranted suggestions in their faces.

OK, that was only Michaela.

Daniel Simon worked side-by-side with Matthew. Together, they began restoring law again to the rapidly growing town of Colorado Springs. Hank had expanded. Jake had expanded to buy Loren Bray's Mercantile with the money he got from selling his share of The Gold Nugget. Loren worked for him occasionally and was planning his trip. They all knew that when he left on that trip, they would never see him again. It was why Loren was sticking around. He loved Colorado Springs.

The resort had been torn down and was now being rebuilt. Thankfully, after his bankruptcy, Preston A. Lodge III had returned to Boston. He still needed the supervision of his father, which the town laughed about for the next six months.

Then the day came. Colleen was alone in the clinic when a patient came in, needing surgery. Colleen panicked then calmed herself. It was only an appendectomy. She had assisted on countless appendectomies. Surely she could do one. Colleen did not even have a nurse. The nine year old girl was in serious pain, though.

"Go get Jake Slicker," she told the young girl's father, who immediately ran out. The mayor and barber was the closest she was going to get to a nurse. At least he could stomach it. Colleen searched for the girl's file after preparing her. Jake Slicker came in as Colleen read the file.

"Said ya needed me," Jake said, no emotion in his voice. Colleen knew he loved to be needed and recognized as a decent medical mind.

Colleen nodded. "Andrew and Ma are both out," Colleen said. "I'll need you to assist me, if you can."

"'Course," he replied. "What do I do?"

"Wash your hands thoroughly, first," said Colleen, pointing to the basin, pitcher, soap, and towel. Colleen turned back to the file. It was written in Michaela's handwriting. Since Colleen left, Michaela had to do all her own files. Colleen had always enjoyed doing them, as she enjoyed researching. Her mind craved knowledge and doing the records had been a good way for her to learn the terminology.

"Lord," breathed Colleen, reading the file. The girl had a serious heart condition. Colleen knew it would be a very fragile surgery. Her first solo and she had a town barber to help her. Colleen bit her lower lip, terrified of what potential horrors she imagined. "God, help me."

Colleen gnawed on her lower lip then upper lip alternately. She focused on the gruesome sight before her with the utmost concentration. It concerned her what might happen if she was not careful. Her hands were bloodied. She wondered if they were stained.

The door opened and Andrew and Michaela came in. She had not expected them back so soon and breathed a sigh of relief at seeing them. "What is it, Colleen?" Andrew asked, going to her side. Not being sterile, he only looked over her shoulder.

"Appendectomy," Colleen said. "Severe pain, nearly developed into peritonitis, cardiovascular complications. I didn't know you'd be back so soon or I'd have waited."

"No, it's good you started," Michaela said. "These things are severely painful and putting her out would make her tolerant to the ether. Waking up in surgery is worse."

"Colleen," Jake said, urgency in his voice.

Colleen turned back to see him holding two fingers to her throat. The rest passed in a blur. Colleen remembered backing away from the body, numb with pain. She vaguely heard Michaela and Andrew discussing what happened and send Jake away with thanks. Colleen stared at the corpse of the young girl.

"I killed her," Colleen whispered in horror. The blood seemed to be burning her hands and she whirled to quickly wash it off. She scrubbed ferociously at her hands until they were raw but the blood seemed to still be tinted on her hands.

Andrew turned to see his wife scrubbing her hands so hard, they were liable to be sore. Andrew went quickly over to her and she shuddered when he touched her waist. He bowed his head to her chin and felt her body trembling from withheld tears of anguish.

Michaela glanced at the couple and, sensing a private marital moment, slipped from the room.

"Colleen, it wasn't your fault," Andrew whispered.

"Well, I was the one in charge, wasn't I?" Colleen demanded, angry at herself. She felt to be to blame and was irritated that he was trying to tell her differently.

"She had a serious heart problem," Andrew said. "There was nothing anyone could do for her. I don't care who held the knife. Colleen, it was a misfortune that she died. But she was already diagnosed with an eventually fatal disease. What could you have done about cardiac arrest? What could any of us had done?"

"My first solo surgery," Colleen murmured, hearing him but not listening to the logic. "I lose a nine year old girl."

Colleen looked up at her tall husband before abandoning the clinic. Andrew started after her but she gave him a forbidding look as she paused in the doorway. "How are they supposed to trust me now?" she asked quietly. She let the question hang and walked out of the clinic, closing the door behind herself.

It was the loneliest, saddest sound Andrew ever heard.

Colleen wandered around aimlessly. She found old spots in the mountain terrain and reveled in the comfort of numerous childhood memories before moving on. She was numb from pain and anguish, her mind tingling with the realization that she had taken a life, in a sense. "A nine year old girl," she murmured to the deaf wind. "You had no right. You had no right to mess with that."

For she felt it was true. Who was she to deal with the powers of fate? She had been guessing as she cut into that girl, not even an able nurse by her side. You knew the complications and you went forward anyway, she badgered herself. Stupid stupid stupid.....

Feelings of guilt, remorse, and pure, hot pain flooded through her in electric shocks. She shook with the force of her repressed tears, yearning for release but unable to cry. She hurt too much to cry. It had been a long time since she had hurt too much to cry.

That girl had been beautiful, a perfectly precious nine year old girl. Perhaps she had been a bit small for her age, maybe a little too thin. But she had been lovely. Her doe like eyes had been the darkest brown Colleen had ever seen, her hair a startling contrast of light gold. Her skin had been pale and gluey from the fever, her face distorted in pain. She had pleaded with Colleen to stop the pain, to make her better. Her eyes had done the begging that her voice would not allow her.

And you let her down, Colleen continued to berate herself. She trusted you, you failed and it cost that girl her life.

Anxiously, Andrew lay in the darkness. His folded arms tucked under his head, he stared at the ceiling of his bedroom. Where is she? he thought. Sully and Michaela had said not to worry, that Colleen just needed time to recover and she obviously wanted to do so on her own. Andrew knew his wife could find her way from anywhere in the area, well acquainted with it. But the nights were chilly and in her pained state, he wondered if she would notice the decreasing temperature or even care.

Go after her, Andrew thought. She's your wife. Don't let her suffer alone.

As much as he wanted to save her from her anguish, he knew he could not. He would only be an annoyance, a nuisance, unless she wanted his help. No, Dr. Mike and Sully were right in saying that she would have to stop blaming herself on her own. No one but Colleen could release herself of responsibility.

However, knowing this was true did not lessen his worry any. He lay awake in bed for several hours before sheer exhaustion overcame his worried mind and he drifted to an unpeaceful sleep.

Colleen returned some time during the night, but rose before Andrew awoke. She made breakfast, not bothering to wake her husband. She felt sick to her stomach and had vomited that morning. Her nausea had been what awoke her that morning. Colleen knew it was her mental torture that gave her such physical illness.

The aroma of freshly ground coffee beans and spicy bacon rose Andrew from his slumber. He darted from the bed, hardly taking the time to throw on his pants and forgetting a shirt in his rush. When he arrived downstairs, however, Colleen was normal looking. She was calm and while her skin was a little pale, she appeared fine otherwise. This concerned him all the more.

"I made breakfast," the female Dr. Cook said the obvious. "I'm going to visit Teresa Slicker so I won't be eating with you." The truth of the matter was that the mere thought of eating anything churned her stomach into horrendous knots.

Andrew picked up a shirt from the basket near the foot of the staircase and absently threw it on. He was silent as he approached his wife from behind, having quietly mumbled something in reply to her having made a morning meal. He slipped his arms around her tiny waist, leaning his chin down on her shoulder as he pulled her back closer to his chest. She fit so snugly, so perfectly, in his arms. She was so strong, yet so fragile. Andrew squeezed her tighter, emotions overwhelming him as he almost felt his wife's inner pain.

"I love you, Dove," Andrew whispered with his cheek to hers. He was choked up, especially upon using his nickname for her. He had called her 'Dove' on their honeymoon, saying she reminded him of the creature that was so respected, wise, innocent, and lovely. At particularly sentimental moments, he used the nickname.

It stopped her heart to hear him. An immediate, sharp physical ache stabbed in her bosom as she heard, in his cracked voice, how very worried he was about her. She grasped his hand and raised his fingertips to her lips, unable to speak. Angst had its painfully tight grip on her throat, rendering her incapable of speech. She relaxed in his arms and they stood in silence at the counter, locked in a marital embrace.

When she could talk, however, she managed to reply, "I love you, too, Drew."

Feeling how relaxed she was in his arms, he dared to ask, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Apparently, this was a mistake for she immediately tensed again. "No," she said abruptly as she drew away.

"I can't watch you do this to yourself--please," Andrew pleaded. "It wasn't your fault, Colleen. You have to believe me. No one blames you."

But Colleen said nothing. When she left the house a few minutes later, she hardly said another word to him. The wonderful smells of breakfast that had awoken him suddenly did not seem so appetizing.

Colleen slowly rode her horse to the Slicker's homestead. Teresa had an infant and Colleen knew she could use a rest, so she would offer her services. As she let Peaches, her palomino horse, stride on her own she began thinking about her semi-argument with Andrew.

What was strange to Colleen was that she had not responded to Andrew because she had known he could probably have turned around whatever she said and proved her wrong with it. He would have somehow proven she was not to blame. Wasn't that what she wanted to believe? So why had she purposely avoided giving him any opportunity to help her believe that?

Perhaps, Colleen thought, I need to blame myself. It was an odd thought but a logical one, in a strange way. Maybe she needed something to blame for the tragedy of a nine year old girl's death and she found herself the easiest and closest target for such fault. She was sure she had heard Sully explain this to Dr. Mike once, or vice versa. She could not quite remember. But, either way, it made sense. It also gave her some much needed peace to realize maybe, just maybe, it really was not her fault.

Over the next week, in spite of Colleen's epiphany on her way to see Teresa Slicker, things were tense in the Cook household. Colleen's illness did not help any, either. She refused to allow Andrew to examine her, too. She always pointed out that she felt fine by the end of the day. It frustrated Andrew but he was not about to force his help on her for then it would be no help at all. Instead, every day, he made certain that she knew he was there for her and that he loved her. It was all he could do.

Autumn was a truly beautiful season. Colleen did not like having it dampened by the ongoing argument. The day of the girl's funeral had set her back, making her remember all too clearly why she was in such a rut. She went about her business in town, continuing in inner anguish day after day. Who knew it would be Katie Sully herself to break Colleen of her depression?

Four years old, Katie leaned on her toes and peered over the edge of the desk. Michaela was laying upstairs in the clinic, resting with her enormous belly for she was now full term. Colleen was watching her baby sister while filling out information sheets for her mother.

Katherine Sully had always been a beautiful child. Her eyes were full of wonder and laughter that only a child could own. Mature for her age, however, Katie managed to be both innocent and world-wise at the same time. It sometimes caught Colleen off-guard, who always thought of her sister as a toddler. Two thin braids hung over the little girl's shoulders, her pinafore dusty at the edges from her running in the streets.

"Whatcha sad for?"

The question surprised Colleen, who looked down at her perceptive younger sister. "What do you mean?"

"Ya look real sad," Katie said simply, clinging her fine doll to her. Elizabeth Quinn had sent it to her as a present for Katie's fourth birthday. "You're real quiet and ya hardly been talkin' to me. You're always talkin' to me and playin' with me when you're happy."

Colleen smiled. "That's an excellent diagnosis, Miss Sully," she teased. "You've got the sharp eye of a doctor, you know that?"

Katie giggled but was not to be deterred. "So what're you sad for? Is it 'cause of Andrew?"

Again shocked by the young girl's almost paranormal perception, Colleen asked, "What makes you ask that?"

Almost as though divulging highly sensitive information, Katie leaned closer and whispered, "He looks real sad, too."

The older sister squeezed her sister's shoulder and turned a little in her chair to face her. "We disagreed on something, Kate-girl," Colleen said, careful of what she said. "And that makes us sad because we don't like to disagree."

"So why don't ya agree?" Katie asked, her brow furrowing.

Convinced this girl had gotten into a similar conversation with her parents at one time or another, Colleen did not feel like being the one to explain arguments to her. So while she told Katie not to worry about it, they would take care of their disagreement, Colleen could not help but realize how right the four year old was. Andrew was in the right this time; she was not to blame. Beating herself up would not make things better, nor would ignoring and hurting Andrew.

Rejuvenated, Colleen set about her work until a holler from upstairs disturbed her. "Colleen!" Dr. Mike yelled from her room.

Colleen ran in front of Katie and was upstairs in a flash. Her mother was on the bed, her hands cupping her obese stomach. "Ma, what's wrong?" she asked, going quickly to her mother's side.

"Ma? Ma, you OK?" Katie asked, her voice small.

"I'm OK, honey," Michaela said. She turned to her daughter, her breath coming huskily. "The baby."

"It's coming?" Colleen asked, guessing. Mike nodded and Colleen's heart leapt into her throat. She turned to her younger sister quickly. "Katie, go get Matthew. Tell him to bring Andrew and Pa. Ma's having the baby."

Eyes wide, Katie fled from the room to obey. Colleen was not far behind, rushing to bring the things upstairs for the birth. Excitement rushed through her as she realized that another baby Sully was on its way.

This child would make for five children in the family. Thinking back to how broken they had all been when first meeting, Colleen was grateful for the healthy, handsome family. Dr. Mike had been a pained foreigner, rejected by her native society as well as her family, in grief over her father's death, still. Sully had been a closed off individual, close to no one and bitter over his wife and daughter's deaths. The Cooper children had been abandoned by their father and orphaned by their Ma's death.

They had come together as a family, helping each other heal to become happy, fulfilled people. The town as a whole had healed along with them, becoming prosperous and merry. Katie had joined the family, bringing the joy and glory of youth back into the group. Now another little one was on its way.

Colleen readied her mother, preparing the room between staying at Mike's side to help with the contractions. By the time Sully and Andrew arrived with Matthew, Katie, and Brian everything was ready. As unusual as it was, Sully refused to leave the room during the labor. So Colleen nodded and went to her husband's side. She touched her arm lightly around his waist, reaching up to kiss his cheek. This surprised him, who had not seen hide nor hair of affection from his wife in a week.

Looking down in her eyes, Andrew saw warmth and life again. He had missed seeing these things in her lovely eyes, having seen nothing but pain and guilt since the death of her first patient. Something had happened to change her attitude and as soon as he finished delivering his new brother or sister-in-law, he would find out what.

Several hours of labor followed, tough contractions pulling at Dr. Mike and reminding her of what difficulty there had been in delivering Katie. But she was prepared for the pain now for she knew what was coming. Sully, too, was in much better shape. He was no longer jumpy and fidgety, wondering what the heck he should do. He had two doctors tending to his wife and all he had to do was comfort her the best he could. Matthew and Brian were taking care of Katie so Sully set his mind only on his beloved Michaela.

By the time Josef Quinn Sully made his way into the world, half the town had gathered around the clinic to hear the cries of the latest town member. Weighing in at seven pounds and four ounces, he was a loud, healthy child. He was named Josef for Michaela's father. Having been unable to compromise on a middle name for him, for Sully refused a namesake, they finally decided on Quinn.

"Josef Quinn Sully?" Brian asked, jotting it down along with other information for the birth announcement. He looked at the proud parents; his parents. "I like that."

Andrew and Colleen stood back from the group, enclosed in each other's arms. They watched as Katie warily walked forward to meet her little brother. They had a feeling that jealousy rages would erupt every now and then for a little while until Katie got used to having a little brother.

"I'm sorry, Andrew," Colleen said quietly. She looked up at him, meeting with the warmth and affection his hazel eyes radiated down at her. "I shouldn't have blocked you out like I did."

"Don't you apologize," Andrew said. "I just want to know you don't blame yourself."

Colleen took a moment and then slowly shook her head. "No, I don't," she said softly. And she didn't.

One Month Later

"I'm concerned."

"I'm fine."

"You're not."

"I am too!"

Andrew looked at his petite wife, standing indignantly with her hands on her slim hips while she vehemently defended her position. There was something funny about it and he chuckled at the sight of her, nose crinkled in determination to ward off a professional examination by her husband. Colleen, knowing he was laughing only in affection for her, was miffed by his amusement.

"All right, Colleen--please?" Andrew compromised. "You've been sick for well over a month. And that's much too long for it to be part of your emotions. You may have a stomach virus."

"But I'm fine!" Colleen determinedly defended.

"Humor me and let me exam you," Andrew said. "Then you can say I told you so. Sound fair?"

Colleen frowned then could not help but smile. "You're mocking me."

"Only because I love you," he said lovingly. "Please?"

Colleen sighed in feigned exasperation, enjoying the bantering with him. It was early in the morning at their homestead and it had been one sick day too many. "Fine," she agreed, pretending to be submitting unwillingly. Truly, she wanted to make this sickness go away, as well. Colleen just did not like being the patient

Andrew Cook hesitated a moment then looked at his wife again. "Actually, Colleen, I'm hoping I don't have to examine you," he said. "I've probably got a one-track mind at the moment but can you tell me something?"

"Sure, of course," she agreed, looking curiously at him.

Unsure if he should ask, Andrew paused once again. Looking over his beautiful wife, he finally asked, "When was your last monthly?"

As if it suddenly hit her, for it really only dawned on her then, Colleen's face changed. A slow smile spread over her lips as she thought back. It made sense! It actually made sense! She had never given a thought all those many mornings she had woken up to vicious nausea. Why had it not even occurred to her? Perhaps it was because she was busy with her new brother and the clinic, perhaps it was because it was an unreal suggestion. But Andrew's one question made the mystery surrounding her illness not so mysterious.

Andrew saw the recognition in her eyes. "Colleen?"

Colleen turned to him with a disbelieving half smile, shock and surprise evident on her face. She felt strangely stupid for not thinking of it herself. "Nine weeks ago," she said.

His mouth fell agape a little, as if he had not really considered her answer giving dignity to his question. His eyebrows lifted and he looked at her in shock. "Nine weeks?" he asked.

Colleen laughed at the small squeak he bore on the last word. Then her laugh was simply because she knew it was true. "A baby?" she asked. "A baby, Andrew? We're having a baby!"