Heartache and Healing

About ten o'clock that evening, Preston and Ruth Lodge welcomed their new little bundle of joy into the world.


The new little boy wasn't very happy to find himself in such foreign surroundings but soon quieted down for a much needed nap.


The next morning, Colleen woke from her tortured sleep to daylight shining in her window. Outside, rain was pouring down in buckets, causing the town’s inhabitants to dash from building to building trying to find some reprieve from the continuous downpour. Inside the clinic, everything was quiet.


The young woman strained to hear voices downstairs, but there were none. Where was everybody?


Suddenly Colleen heard the doorknob turn and the door slowly creak open. Turning her head slightly she saw a young woman coming into the room, carrying a tray of food.


She recognized the girl from Grace's Cafe, she was one of the waitresses that now worked for the cafe owner. The waitress smiled when she realized that the girl in the bed was awake. "Morning, Misses." She greeted pleasantly.


Colleen watched as the girl set a couple of dishes of food on the table beside the bed.


"What's that?" She finally managed to ask.


"It’s your breakfast, Misses." The girl replied. "Dr. Quinn asked me to bring it over for you. I have some here for Dr. Cook as well."


"Where is Ma?" the invalid asked, her voice barely a whisper.


The other girl hesitated for a moment before replying. "She's...she's with the rest of the family. They're at the...the funeral, Misses."


"Funeral?" Colleen looked at the other girl in alarm, then realization swept over her and she suddenly closed her eyes as tears squeezed out from under her long lashes.


"Charlotte's funeral?" she managed to ask, opening her big brown eyes to look at the other young woman. The waitress looked at her with a clearly puzzled expression, so she asked again, "My baby daughter's funeral?"


The young girl nodded slowly, her own face registering sorrow as she took in Colleen's tear streaked face. The young mother quickly turned her head away as sobs over took her.


After a few moments, the grieving girl sensed that the waitress was still standing beside her bed. Turning to look at her, Colleen could tell that she was trying to figure out what to say or do to comfort the heartbroken mother. Understanding the girl's discomfort and hesitation, she took a deep breath, trying to steady her quivering voice and then released the girl from the awkward situation by urging, "You should take that in to Andrew."


The young waitress nodded thankfully and turned to go. After she had left, Colleen slowly raised herself from the bed and gently swung her legs over the edge. Her body ached all over and her head began to spin because of the sudden change in position. It had been a few days since she had been upright. Grabbing the side of the table, she pulled her sick body off the bed and then, once she'd steadied her weak legs, she slowly made her way to the door and down the hall.


Across town, a good portion of the town had gathered at the cemetery to hear the funeral sermon for young Charlotte Michaela Cook. There were very few dry eyes as the group looked mournfully at the tiny casket that held the beloved child.


Sully, Michaela, Matthew, Brian and Katie stood in a huddled group, each trying to help console the other by looks and touches. Sully held Michaela in his arms as she sobbed against his shoulder, beside her stood Brian, who had his arm protectively on her shoulder. And on the other side of Sully stood Matthew with little Katie in his arms, her young eyes wide and fearful as she tried to understand what was going on. At one point she turned, tears running down her sweet innocent face, and buried her head in her older brother's shoulder, looking for protection and comfort.


Standing beside them, but a few feet away, was Ethan, head bowed, hat in hand, his eyes focused on the tiny box that held his granddaughter. He couldn't believe that this had happened. He didn't know what to do or say. It was just such a shock. He lifted his head and turned to look at the group standing beside him. He could clearly see the love and comfort that surrounded the little family and he longed to be a part of it, but he had finally realized that he had done too much damage to ever be willingly accepted back into the clan.


Matthew, Brian and Colleen were no longer his children. They belonged solely to Michaela and Sully, joined there by love, understanding, caring and support. He had no right to lay claim on them, on any of them. Looking back to little casket, he grasped for the first time that the little infant in that coffin did not belong to him. She was his granddaughter biologically true, but in love, in caring, in the true family sense, she belonged to Sully and Michaela. She was their granddaughter -much loved and much anticipated.


"Farewell, my fair Charlotte." he whispered under his breath. "Sleep well." Then with a final glance towards the family beside him, he donned his hat, turned and strode out of the graveyard.


The rest of the family watched his retreating back in surprise. Then suddenly Sully commented, "I have a feeling we won't see him back here again."


Matthew nodded in agreement, "I was thinking the same thing." By the time Colleen made it down to the Barbershop, she was worn out completely, but she was spurred on by the fact that she could see the cemetery not too far in the distance.


She looked up at the sky for a moment, as if wishing it to stop pouring, before she eased herself off the boardwalk. Her bare feet squished into the cold mud that the heavy rain had made.


Quickly her mind flashed back to the first day Andrew had arrived and she had helped him out of the mud. How cute his looked, flat on his back, a look of horror and embarrassment on his face. Colleen hadn't realized it until later, but that was the moment she had fallen in love with the young doctor.


Wading through the mud, the young woman made her way towards the group of townsfolk that were gathered around her infant daughter's grave. After the Reverend had finished giving the funeral sermon, Jake quickly lowered the small box into the tiny grave and covered it over. Sully retrieved a wooden headstone that he and Matthew had fashioned the night before. Placing it at the head of his granddaughter's grave, tears began to fall from his suntanned face and his eyes quickly glanced across the graveyard to where his own baby girl lay, still and silent, beside her mother.


"It's beautiful, Sully." Michaela whispered after he had finished placing it. The carefully carved marker was lovingly engraved with the following,


"CHARLOTTE MICHAELA COOK beloved daughter of Andrew and Colleen. Here lies our little bud who never became a flower."


The family stood together for a few moments, waiting for the others to leave, when suddenly the townspeople seemed to stop, as if suddenly rooted to the spot.


Brian turned to see what was going on, when he suddenly caught sight of what was the curiosity. "Ma, look!" he exclaimed, shock and horror in his voice and on his face. The entire clan turned to see what was wrong.


"Oh, my God!" Dr. Mike gasped under her breath. Coming towards them, wet and trembling, dressed only in her nightgown, was Colleen. She stumbled weakly through the cemetery gate towards them, her bare feet almost blue from cold.


"Colleen!" Matthew exclaimed as she suddenly tripped over a dead branch that had fallen in the middle of the path. After shoving Katie at Brian, the young man scooped his sister up into his arms, harshly scolding, "What are you doing out here? Are you crazy? Are you trying to kill yourself?"


Colleen looked past his shoulder to the new mound of earth.


"Charlotte." She whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks. Then she looked at Matthew and repeated, "Charlotte."


Her big brother's heart pained at the pitiful look on his sister's tired face. With a heart- wrenching glance at Dr. Mike and Sully, he turned and carried the heart-broken young mother to her infant daughter's new resting place. Colleen stared misty eyed at the small mound from her safe place in Matthew's arms. Her mind running over hopes and dreams that had lately been dashed.


"Down." Her lips managed to quiver. Matthew was about to object when Colleen turned her beautiful dark eyes to him and pleaded softly, "Please, Matthew."


Gently he lowered her to the muddy ground, still holding her arms for support. Silently the young woman's eyes took in the scene, the mound of dirt, the wet grass, the dripping trees, the sympathetic looks of the townspeople.


Eventually her eyes fell on the headstone Sully and Matthew had fashioned. Upon reading the inscription, she fell upon her knees and wept sorrowfully. Matthew quickly shrugged himself out of his coat and draped it across her shoulders as he crouched down behind her. Putting his arms protectively around her he rocked her back and forth until she stopped sobbing.


After she had been quiet for a few moments, her big brother suddenly moved to lift her up again. She looked at him and shook her head. Matthew paused for a moment, while she turned back to the grave, placed a kiss on her fingers, and then touched the headstone. "I love you, Charlotte Michaela. I'll never forget you." Then she looked at Matthew and allowed him to lift her up into his arms and carry her back to the clinic..

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