Heartache and Healing

A couple hours later Colleen descended the wooden staircase and joined the family by the big fireplace.


Matthew and Andrew were sitting in front of a window playing checkers while Sully and Michaela competed against each other in a game of chess in front of the fireplace.


On the other side of the room, Brian was helping Katie color a picture that he had drawn.


Andrew rose from his seat the moment he spotted Colleen descending the stairs. Reaching out his arms to enfold her, he asked softly, "How are you feeling now?"


"Better." She replied, resting her head against his chest.


"Can I get you anything?" he offered, "Tea, water, something to eat?"


Colleen shook her head. "No, nothing, thank you."


"Come and sit, then." Andrew led her to one of the comfortable chairs in front of the fireplace, then reclaimed his seat at the checkerboard.


"Who's winning?" Colleen asked as she watched Andrew jump a couple of Matthew's pieces.


"I am." Both men replied at the same time. Then they looked at each other and laughed.


Colleen smiled and stated teasingly, "Somebody's lying."


"He is." Both men remarked, each pointing to the other. At that everyone in the room laughed heartily. After a few moments silence, Michaela finally posed the question that had been on the tip of her tongue since supper.


"Colleen, Andrew says you haven't been feeling well lately. Is everything all right?"


Colleen looked at her mother in mild surprise, then smiled knowingly. She'd known the topic would come up eventually. The young girl nodded and replied,


"I've been feeling a little off for a few weeks, nothing serious though. It should pass before too much longer I hope."


"You hope?" Dr. Mike frowned anxiously, "you mean you don't know?"


"Oh, I know." her daughter assured her with a mysterious smile. "I just don't know if it'll pass tomorrow or three and a half months from now."


Dr. Mike looked at her confusedly. "Three and a half months from now?" She repeated in a worried tone. "That's an awful longtime to be sick."


"It's worth it though." Colleen assured her. "Colleen Cook, whatever do you mean?" Michaela finally sighed in exasperation. With an amused chuckle, Andrew rose from his window seat and sat on the arm of Colleen's chair. His wife looked up at him and smiled happily as he put his arms around her shoulders. Then, looking to each of her family members individually, she announced, "What I mean is.....I'm going to have a baby!"


After the news finally sunk into the hearers’ brains, the entire homestead resounded with the hearty congratulations and excited cries of the family.


Matthew pulled his sister gently from her chair and hugged her to him. Brian and Katie came over and joined in the congratulations. Both Andrew and Colleen beamed with happiness, and everyone started to share that happiness. Everyone that is, except Michaela, who sat as if rooted to the rug under her. She had feared this would happen. She had warned Colleen that this could happen. Now what would she do with a new baby and trying to finish Medical school?


Michaela looked at her daughter, prepared to pose such a question, but the query died on her lips as she saw the excited flush on her daughter's cheeks. She was smiling so happily as Brian hugged her in a warm embrace. After he released her he turned to an equally excited Andrew and extended his hand.


"Congratulations, Pa." Andrew beamed as he shook the young boy's hand, replying.


"Thank you, Uncle Brian." The young man's face also radiated with pleasure. After the excitement died down, the family bade each other good night and retired for the evening. About two o'clock Colleen awoke from a restless slumber and, careful not to wake Andrew, rose from the bed. She silently exited the room and went downstairs. After getting a glass of milk from the root cellar she went and sat before the dying embers of the fireplace. With a peaceful smile on her face, she leaned her head back and thought back to the wonderful day three months before when she and Andrew had learned the joyful news that they were going to become parents.


Colleen had woken up one morning feeling extremely lousy, but after spending half and hour being sick, she began to feel better. After this routine had persisted for a week, Andrew insisted on examining her. She had protested that it was only an upset stomach, that it would likely pass in a few days, but Andrew insisted she have an examination. She finally gave in and consented to letting Andrew look her over.


She could still see the look of surprise and happiness flood over his face when he'd finished. With an enormous smile on his face he'd announced to her, "You’re pregnant!" She remembered the sheer joy that they had both felt when the news sunk in. "Pregnant?" She had repeated in disbelief. "I'm pregnant?"


Andrew had nodded in affirmation, then had grabbed her in a tight embrace an excitedly swung her around his clinic. They were both laughing and crying with joy.


"I can't believe it!" she kept exclaiming, "We're going to be parents!"


That evening they had gone out to dinner to celebrate their happy news. During their meal, they had discussed how they were going to manage a baby, medical school and Andrew's practice. Andrew figured that the baby was probably due sometime in early December. So he figured, and Colleen agreed, that she could easily go to school for September, October and November. Then she would take the month of December off, but try to keep up with her studies at home. Then, after Christmas break, when classes resumed in January, she should be ready to go back. Andrew would then keep the baby with him at his clinic, which was just around the corner from Colleen's school. She could come over to the clinic during her breaks in the morning and afternoon and then during her noon break, to check on and feed the baby. Both concerned were quite pleased with the plan. They knew it would be difficult the first few months, but after May Colleen would be finished medical school and would be a licensed doctor. Her dream of becoming a doctor would be fulfilled.


"And you, my precious little darling," Colleen whispered softly to her unborn child. "will help fulfill another dream."


She gently placed a hand on her rounding stomach and closed her shining eyes. She began imagining what her child would look like. She pictured a beautiful little girl with her big brown eyes and Andrew's dimpled smile. She pictured Andrew, eighteen years down the road, walking their beautiful, grown up daughter, all dressed in white, her rosy cheeks shinning through her laced veil, down the aisle to meet her loving groom. Colleen then envisioned their son, with Andrew's handsome features and her big smile. She pictured him following in their footsteps and becoming a doctor, a well-renowned doctor. Colleen sighed, a contented smile on her face.


"Colleen?" A voice whispered softly. Colleen opened her eyes in surprise. She looked over to see Michaela standing over her.


"Oh, Ma." She smiled brightly. "I didn't hear you come downstairs." Michaela sat down in the chair beside her daughter. "I couldn't sleep."


Colleen laughed softly, "I couldn't either. I think I slept too much today. I was afraid I'd wake Andrew with my restlessness, so I thought I'd come downstairs and have a glass of milk."


"Are you feeling any better?" her mother asked, concern showing on her face. "Yeah, I'm starting to. I think it was just the long, stuffy train ride." Colleen assured her, "I haven't had trouble with morning sickness or a sick stomach in weeks."


"How far along are you?" Michaela asked. "Five and a half months." Colleen replied.


Michaela did some mental calculating. "So you're due in December?" Colleen nodded. "So, what are you going to do about medical school?" Michaela finally asked, voicing the concern that has been on her mind since Colleen informed them all that she was pregnant.


"How are you going to juggle a new baby and your studies?"


"We'll manage. Andrew and I have already discussed it and we have a plan all worked out." Colleen assured her. She looked at her mother and saw the uncertainty on the older woman's face. But before Michaela could voice her opinions, Colleen continued,


"Look, Ma, we both know that it’s going to be difficult for the first few months. But I want my degree and I'm not going to drop out of medical school just because I have a baby. Andrew has agreed wholeheartedly with my decision to finish school and he has volunteered to look after the baby at his clinic while I'm in school. He's just around the corner from the medical school and I usually pop over there during my breaks and lunch period anyway, so it won't be hard for me to feed the baby during the day. And it'll only be for a few months, then I'll be able to help look after the little darling full time."


Noticing her mother still looked apprehensive she added, her eyes overflowing in eagerness and joy.


"Ma, I know this is not the most ideal time to have a baby, and I assure you, we didn't plan on starting a family yet. But even though this precious little bundle wasn't planned, Andrew and I are so happy. We are both so eager for this little wonder to be born. Remember how happy you were when you found out you were pregnant with Katie?"


Michaela nodded. "Well, that's exactly how Andrew and I feel. I mean, you should see him Ma. He already has a little cradle set up in the clinic. And when one of his patients asks him about it, his face positively glows with joy. I have never seen him so excited. Oh, Ma. Please don't worry, but be happy for us."


Michaela's eyes began to shed tears as she leaned forward and hugged her daughter to her. "I love you Colleen." She whispered into her daughter's hair.


"I love you too, Ma." Just as the two women separated from their embrace a loud knock came on the door. Both women looked at each other in surprise. Michaela quickly jumped up and reached for the door before the knocker raised the whole household.


"Mr. Crandle!" Michaela greeted in surprise. "Please come in." The man removed his hat and stepped into the house. "I'm sorry to be disturbing' ya so late, Dr. Quinn. But my Jimmy's in real bad shape." Mr. Crandle explained.


"What seems to be the problem?" Michaela asked, pulling her housecoat more tightly around her.


"Took a high fever a few days ago. At first the wife thought it was just a mild catarrh, but now he's out of his head with it. She's powerfully worried. I know its late, but could ya come take a look at him? "


"I'll get my bag." Michaela replied, rushing behind the man to grab her black medical bag. She grabbed her coat off the hook and turned to Colleen. "I'll be back as soon as I can."


"I'm coming with you." Colleen pronounced then ran over to grab her own coat off the hook. She threw it on over her nightgown.


"Colleen, I don't think you should...."


"You might need my help." Colleen interrupted. Michaela hesitated, but she knew Colleen was right. She quickly flew to the desk and scribbled a note to Sully explaining where they were. Then the two women followed the worried father out into the darkness.


"Colleen?" Andrew turned over and reached out into the darkness for her, but finally realized that she wasn't there. Groggily he rose from the bed and quietly made his way downstairs.


"Colleen?" He whispered softly, but found no one in the big room downstairs. Where could she be? He suddenly became worried. He turned to look outside, when he found Dr. Mike's note laying on the table. Picking it up he read:


"Dear Sully, Colleen and I have gone over to Myles Crandle's. Little Jimmy is sick. Be back soon. Tell Andrew so he doesn't worry. Love Michaela."


Andrew's worry changed slightly. Now he knew where Colleen was, but what did little Jimmy Crandle have? Was it something contagious? Was it something that could harm Colleen and their unborn child?


"In here." Mr. Crandle urged Dr. Mike and Colleen into the small bedroom where Jimmy Crandle lay.


Mrs. Crandle looked up as they entered. "Oh, thank heavens you've come, Dr. Mike. I don't know what to do anymore. He just keeps getting worse and worse."


"May I?" Dr. Mike asked, trying to get the anxious mother to move out of the way.


"Oh, certainly." Mrs. Crandle hopped off the side of the bed and went to join her husband by the door. Michaela checked the young boy over thoroughly.


"What have his symptoms been?" Michaela asked, listening to the boy's heart.


"Chills, then a high fever. Headache, vomiting, diarrhea and he seems to be developing a really bad cough."


After she finished her examination the doctor hung her head slightly with the weight of her discovery.


"What's wrong Ma? What is it?" Colleen asked, advancing to the sick boy's bedside. Dr. Mike had forgotten for a moment that Colleen was in the sickroom with her. But when Colleen spoke, fear suddenly gripped Michaela.


"Get out of this room, Colleen!" The doctor suddenly exclaimed. "Ma? What...?" Colleen sputtered in surprise. "Colleen, get out of this room now!" the shocked girl's mother jumped up and literally escorted her daughter out of the room, shutting the door behind her.


Colleen stared at the closed door in astonishment. What on earth had come over her mother? She'd never treated her like that before. Colleen was of half a mind to march back into the bedroom and demand to know why she had just been treated in such a way, but common sense told her that there must be some good reason why Michaela had just thrown her out of the sickroom.


Still confused, she sat down at the kitchen table to await her mother's appearance. Inside the sickroom, the young boy's parents stared at the doctor after she had closed the door behind her daughter. "What is it Dr. Mike?" Mrs. Crandle asked, fear written on her face. "What's wrong with Jimmy?"


"And why did you just throw your daughter out the door?" Mr. Crandle asked, confusion on his face.


Michaela took a deep breath. She hated this part of her job. "Mr. and Mrs. Crandle, I'm afraid that Jimmy has typhoid fever."


"How serious is that?" Mrs. Crandle asked.


"Very serious, I'm afraid." Dr. Mike admitted, her eyes growing teary.


"The typhoid itself can be fatal, but he also seems to have developed a secondary infection. As is the case sometimes with this disease, he's developed pneumonia."


"Oh, my heavens!" Mrs. Crandle exclaimed, turning to her husband for support. "So, are you trying to say, Dr. Quinn, that my son is going to die?" Mr. Crandle asked, his face filled with anguish.


"It’s hard to tell right now. He may pull through. Not all cases are fatal. It depends on how developed the illness is. And how strong a person's constitution is."


She looked at the worried parents and promised. "I'll do everything I can to help him get better. Now, If you'll excuse me for a minute. I have a daughter of my own to deal with."


Colleen looked up expectantly when the bedroom door opened. She didn't rise from her chair, but waited for Michaela to claim the one across from her.


"I'm sorry I was so abrupt with you Colleen" Dr. Mike apologized. "I was just worried that you would catch the boy's illness."


"What does he have?" Colleen asked, her eyes wide with worry. "Typhoid fever with a secondary pneumonia infection." the doctor replied. The young girl's eyes widened even more.


"Colleen, I want you to go home. I'll ask Mr.Crandle to take you back to the homestead." Michaela told her daughter.


But Colleen shook her head. "I should stay here and help you. You'll need whatever assistance you can get."


"I don't want you staying in this house any longer." her mother replied forcefully. Colleen looked at her mother in surprise. Michaela explained. "What If you were to catch it?"


"That's a risk every doctor takes." Colleen argued. "You never know what kind of illness your going to be subjected to. That just goes with the job."


"Normally I would agree with you. But under the circumstances, I won't."


"Circumstances?" Colleen asked, puzzlement on her face. "The fact that I am the doctor and you are only my assistant, and that you are the one who is five and a half months pregnant."


Colleen opened her mouth to comment, but Michaela held up her hand to stop her.


"I'm sorry, Colleen. But I can not knowingly expose you to the illness without worrying about you catching it. I would feel absolutely horrible if something happened to you or my grandchild." Colleen opened her mouth to object again, but suddenly realized the logic in her mother's reasoning. With a reluctant sigh she nodded her head.


"Thank you, Colleen." Michaela said, laying a hand on her daughter's. "I'll go ask Mr. Crandle to drive you home." Colleen nodded again as her mother rose from the table. "Tell the family I'll be home as soon as I can be."


It was close to dawn when Colleen arrived back at the homestead. Upon entering the house she found Andrew asleep in one of the chairs before the fireplace. She crept over to him and planted a kiss on his cheek. He stirred and his eyes opened slightly.


"Colleen." he said, his voice thick and groggy. "What are you doing down here?" She asked, turning to stir up the coals in the fireplace.


"I came down to look for you and found this note." He lifted the note he held in his hand.


"Where's Michaela?"


"She's still at the Crandle's. Little Jimmy has typhoid fever and a secondary pneumonia infection." Colleen explained. Andrew's eyes looked worried. "And you were in the sickroom?"


"Only until Ma diagnosed what it was. Then she ordered me out of the room. I was shocked at first. Then she came into the kitchen and told me why she had done it. I must admit, I'm still not that pleased about it, but there was nothing I could do to change her mind."


"I'm glad." Andrew replied, pulling her down on his knee. "You have to be more careful, Colleen. You can't just go charging into every medical case anymore. You have to take care not to do anything that could harm you or the baby."


Colleen turned slightly to look her husband in the face. "Andrew, that's what I do. How can I be a good doctor if I don't try to help everyone who needs me? I mean, there's always a risk of catching something, whether or not I go into a sickroom. What do you want me to do? Cut myself off from everyone just because I'm pregnant?"


"No, I just don't want you to take unnecessary risks, that's all." Andrew looked intently into her face. "Colleen, you and the baby are my whole life. I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you -either of you." Colleen smiled lovingly at the young man and then leaned down to give him a kiss.


"I love you." She told him after they parted. "I love you, too."


It was mid-morning when Michaela finally arrived home from the Crandle's. Little Jimmy was sleeping soundly, so she left him in his parents care, with strict instructions on what to give him and what to look for to make sure the illness wasn't progressing further. If they had any questions or concerns they were to fetch her immediately. When she arrived home she found the homestead empty. Lying on the table, she found a note. It read: Dear Michaela, Andrew went into town to look after the clinic for you. Brian's gone to help Dorothy at the Gazette and Matthew took Katie to go and run a few errands. Colleen's upstairs sleeping. You go to bed and have a nap and then I'll pick you up and we'll have lunch at Grace's with the whole family.
Love, Sully



After the note that Sully had scribbled, was another brief message. Ma, I couldn't sleep any longer, so I've walked into town. I'll see you later.
Colleen.



Dr. Mike sighed, almost exasperatedly. "That girl. We're going to have to tie her down if we're going to get her to take it easy at all."


Loren Bray strode along the wooden boardwalk towards the clinic. He had an appointment with Dr. Mike for his annual checkup. He always hated getting it done, but at his age he decided he'd better do it. For some reason he thought back to when Dr. Mike first came to town and how he would have rather died than allow her to come near him. How things change. He smiled to himself. Knocking on the clinic door he opened it and surprise lit his face when he saw who stood behind it.


"Andrew!" He exclaimed with pleasure. "What are you doing here?"


"Loren." Andrew greeted in return, extending his hand to shake that of the older man. "It’s great to see you."


"I didn't know you were back in Colorado Springs." Loren remarked.


"We just got here yesterday." Andrew replied.


"And where's Colleen?" The older man asked, a big smile on his face.


"She's back at the homestead resting." Andrew explained.


"How's Philadelphia?" Loren asked.


"Great. Great. Colleen and I are settled in."


"Do you ever plan on coming back to Colorado Springs?" Loren asked, his eyes hopeful.


"Actually, we are. Michaela just told me last night that she's saving the position out at the hotel for Colleen and I when we return." Andrew told him. Loren's eyes began to sparkle.


"That's wonderful. I'll tell you, it’s not the same without you around. Folks really miss you both."


"Thank you, Loren. That's nice to know."


"So, where's Dr. Mike this morning?" Loren finally asked, "I was supposed to have an appointment with her."


"I'm afraid Michaela got called out on a house call late last night and she still hadn't returned when I left, so I was going to handle her patients this morning, if you don't mind that is." Loren thought for a moment.


"No, I don't mind. After all, you're helping out Dr. Mike."


"Okay, so if you just want to climb up on the table, we'll get started."


Brian entered the Gazette office, excitement on his brow. "Miss Dorothy, I have a notice to go into this week's issue."


"Well, Brian, you're in luck. I was just about to start printing it. Let's see if we can rearrange something and squeeze it in ." Dorothy smiled obligingly. She picked up the notice and quickly read it, then she looked at Brian and a huge smiled broke out on her face.


"Are you serious?" Brian nodded and a huge grin spread on his face.


"Well, that's wonderful!" Dorothy exclaimed excitedly. "We'll definitely have to make sure that it makes this issue!"


Colleen wandered slowly along the road from the homestead to the small town. She always loved to walk this road. It was still so peaceful, far from the daily activities of the bustling town.


"When you're born, I'll take you for walks down this road." Colleen promised her unborn child. "We'll walk over and visit your grandparents and your Uncles Brian and Matthew and your Aunt Katie." As the young woman turned the last bend in the road before reaching the little town she sighed contentedly. Life was good.

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