Yet Another Campaign. Cheers
"Aaah, this hallway is blocked by a large pile of corpses. Onward!" - Rich
"Uhh... let's get him, evil things!" - Rich
"Make a 'puke silently' check." - Steve
"I brought you this pointy blade..." - Rich
"It's like telephone: 'there's someone in the tower, pass it on.' 'I saw your girlfriend in the shower, pass it on.'" - me
"We should name those guys... Ham and... Fluffy." "They aren't going to be around much later, are they?" - Steve and Rich
"Tell us where you're from. ...If you do we'll give you a cookie!" - Rich
"He's probably trotting along with them as they run. 'Run faster, you're not getting away!'" - Rich
"Pour arsenic on a doughnut..." "Are you sure that's safe? Well unless my god has forsaken me... Mmm!" - Rich and Steve
"Don't shoot! I have raisins!" - me
"You're severely elvish." - Steve
"Can I talk to someone who knows more?" "I don't know." "Well I'm cute!" "You've got me there." "I'd fuck him." - Scott, Steve, Scott, Steve, Rich
"Aaah! Harmless gas! ...Hey, somebody sent us mist!" - Scott
"I want to go to football games dressed as Waldo. It'd be like, 'hey! There's Waldo!' 'Where?' 'Look!'" - Steve
"It didn't need a trap; it had bats in it!" "I still want to look in the chest." "There's one left. It goes for your face!" - Rich, Dan, Rich
-It's always more appealing when you say "treasure chest" rather than "box full of death." - Steve
-"You find a silver spoon with some jewels on it." "Huh, someone was a priviledged kid." - Steve and Rich
-There's nothing there.... just flowers and butterflies. - Steve (we opened a door which led to a part of the white board I had been doodling on.
-Quit laughing and get the crowbar. - Steve
-It wasn't sanded, guys! Run! - Steve
-"Wuss." "You don't have a giant fish-table next to you." - Me and Steve
-The table is going to lay the piss on you.. if it doesn't critically fail all of its rolls. - Steve
-Where am I now? Oh, let's look at this: dying with a table attacking me. - Rich
-You could hit a peasant in a wheelchair. - Steve
-They just make one hell of an omelette... They give you +20 to your cook checks. - Steve
-"It's like a My Buddy." "But deadly." "And with a targetting system." - Rich, me and Steve
-I thought you said "gruff like the drink." - Steve
-Tastes like pain! - Rich
They chose their leaders by their ability to breakdance. - Steve
-It's called... The Cliché Inn. - Rich
-"He's all sorts of confused. He probably eats the money." "There's probably chocolate inside!" - Steve and Rich
Okay, last campaign, I promise.
-"They think it's authentic. Of course it's authentic! If it wasn't, I wouldn't have ordered it!" "Ordered it? What is this, mail order catalog?" "Bracelet of the gods.." "295.99 plus shipping + handling." "The shipping is your soul." -Rich, me, Scott, me, Steve
"They're orange orange funcakes." "They've got fun inside!" "Nice knowing you, Steve." "Fun doesn't kill you... it just gives you cancer." - Me, Steve, Rich, Steve
-Hey, one of the ingredients in this is "fun cake"! - Steve
-I'm full of chocolately goodness! - Rich
-"You don't have ancient pamphlets of knowledge." "Ahh, this is very informative. And bulleted!" - Steve and Rich.
-"There's a knifehole in his head!" "..and this is the guy who twelve hours ago said, 'why would a scholar need a bodyguard?'" - Rich and Steve
-...That means there's a position opening! ...Yeah, this isn't implicating. - Steve
-I would just like to point out that there are two General Brahm's bracelets and from this point on we should refer to it as "General Brahm's bracelet A." - Steve
New Semester, New Campaign, New Idiocies. Whoo!
"He had to beat a spot check of two" "I was trying to stay hidden." "So he's wearing really big soft shoes." -Rich and Steve
"Save the Morans!" "Sounds like a fund." - Kris and Steve
"I prefer to think of black as mystery." - Jacob
"We're like triple agents." "We're not even loyal to ourselves!" - Steve and Rich
"You get a much more throaty accent at level three.... and more British. At level twenty you sound like Clive Anderson." - Jacob
"We're lucky--he's being very competant." "You haven't given him a chance to be stupid!" - Kris and Rich
"If you shoot that cockroach with a nuclear missile it will probably die... unless it makes its fortitude check." - Rich
"...it's a good thing I'm in such an offensive stance!" - Steve
"Forrest Gump with war paint and a hammer." - Scott
"Can we get subtitles here?" - Rich
"You're getting more and more British by the minute!" - Steve
"And when you're locked in a dark room, that's not a problem... Tallow comes from fat... fat comes from my butt!" - Rich
"You have your pick of any simple weapon."
"Fork!"
"Actually a fork is a small trident, which is a martial weapon."~Steve and Jacob
(This explains why so few people in this era eat with utensils.)
"...and you know half elves are easy."-Sarah (She's a half elf, of course.)
"You have a spot check ability..."
*rolls* "Six!"
"Look! A table!"~Steve and Jacob
"Foster's: It's Dwarven for beer."~Kris
"There's a cache of weapons and a gold bikini."~Kris
"Great. You gave the halfling a shiny object."~Steve
"Infamous double doors..... with large knockers."~Steve
"It's a game..."
"Don't find the thing that isn't hidden!"~Kris and Steve
"We are the elite of the elite: We're level 2."~Jacob
"And now he's on fire!"~Steve
"Have you noticed that all the NPCs we run across are either incompetant or bloodthirsty?"
"Which seperates them from us because we're both incompetant *and* bloodthirsty!"~Rich and Kris
"No no! You should get a shrunken Dwarf named 'Zubie'!"~Rich
"The medics are bloodthirsty, too. That's a no-win situation."
"I'll heal with *leeeches*!"~me and Rich
"I want to kill you! Why? Because I'm *not* incompetant!"~Steve
"Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's Vaseline."~Steve
"I'd be surprised if we could evacuate the city without having them all running into the walls."~Rich (Yes, the whole city was incompetant. It was a sad, sad mission.)
"You realize that you're suggesting that if anyone *doesn't* want to kill us that makes them incompetant?"~me
A whole new opportunity for quotes from my very own SUNY Fredonia. yay.
What was that about making out with an elephant? --Andrew
He looks armed.... a lot. --Rich
It's The Swine of Turin! --Andrew
::checks watch:: It's time to bleed! AARGGHHH!!! --Steve
FLARG!! --Kris' expletive
And you go to a bar called the.... sh-- r--.... umm, The Shiny Fisherman's Hook. --Rich
A mother always likes to see her son. Unless, of course, he's committed a heinous crime... --Rich
I thought you were one of those things with the heads. --Steve
Or in this place it's called... flog. --Rich
That's a very good analogy, Mr. Shit. --Rich
Did you say "bloated savage"? --Steve
Takes off his blacksmithing gloves, puts them in his blacksmithing pocket.--Rich
Fithy Pete!! Drop your... --Rich
PANTS!! --Andrew and me
Put little Kris away. --Steve
it's kinda curvy/slopied--rich
i'm going to get down and look wary--andrew
it sounds like a brand of beer we could buy in marka de jackas--monster lactating beer--rich
i can summon the powers of the cosmos to crush all those who oppose me! but i can't write my name.--steve
what are you doing to my head, boy??--me
"here are the bad guys--b is for bad." "i don't think i can follow that--it's too deep."--rich and me
so that he inserts and... exerts...--rich
...and flashing nipples.--rich
they're four pixel nipples.--andrew
it's attention to detail that makes this game worth playing.--rich
because i don't want to confuse YOU with the good guys.--rich
liz, don't love! we jump you!!--kris
i need my twenty--andrew (while drinking from a bottle of water with dice at the bottom)
"they have evidence." "that we've teathered??"--steve and andrew
and the other scout is like, "huuummmm la la la!!"--rich
"he was running away like what?" "woom woom wooom woom"--andrew and rich
he tries to stop the blood and it builds up pressure in kris' head AND HE EXPLODES!--rich
we used to pass notes that said "i like cheese" just to make everyone suspicious--andrew
...and kris. why even roll?--rich
very cute, finger humor, yes.--me
oh good, we've been healing his back all this time.--andrew
they're more useful when you're dead--andy
alternately, you could suck a llama's butt--me
with a look on their faces of "quoi?"--andrew
"what's got two legs and bleeds profusely?" "he does" (i point to kris) "half a cat"--andrew and me
that bloody face is EASILY recognizable!--rich
"i'm going to batten down my own hatches." "thank you for that lovely euphemism"--me and andrew
it actually means "what's wrong?" or "who's killing you?" or something.--steve
i need a one-eyed man wtih a patch and hair that goes like this *frantic hand waving* to take me away!--steve
"i'd love to leave a trail of sofa cusions" *everyone looks at me funny* "that's my lifelong dream"--me and andrew
fut the wuck?--andrew
cut his balls off... then we'll sell him on e bay.--andrew
*singing* duke, duke, duke, duke of purf, purf, purf..."--andrew and me
you might want to know that that deflected and hit me in the crotch.--me
and see as how he's a filthy ruffian, we believe him--steve
whatever oath-type bushido crap you do...--rich
i am major snow--kris
"do you have someone you could send with us?" "you mean like a plot device?"--andrew and rich
donatello, raphael, leonardo and michelangelo shall accompany you...--rich
my tongue is probably stronger than yours because my tongue gets practice... that sounded wrong.--me
leonardo did NOTHING! donatello did all the thinking, raphael had all the good commentary, and michelangelo had food!--rich
you can have knuckles--steve
if he kept the money somewhere on the ass' person...--steve
affect british accent--kris' suggestion for a spell
"you induced hans!" "aaay! there's a party in my pants!"--steve and rich
"garrett, my boy, how are you?" (rich with an accent[again]) "it's deckard cain!"--me(and it was, too)
you shoot the shit--actually, you drink the shit with him.--rich
you are what you eat--or drink--steve
"you're in a cart in the hay with a man who's hog-tied and a giantess" "sounds kinky"--rich and me
opi-YUM--me
i shouldn't be mean to my monkey friends--rich
it is duke... snottenheimer--rich
"we don't want any--get out!" "door to door templar salesmen?"--rich and me
"or i could jab it forward and poke their eyes out." "if they were a spider."--nick and rich
you wanna die??? you're dying in style!--rich
...he would lose it to some old man in a poker game, and that man would lose it in the abyss of hell.--rich
"there is no reason behind chaos" "that's very deep, now give me your non-existential reason."--steve and rich
make an influence roll, stuffy.--rich
he's like an octopus--his accent changes with his emotions.--steve
and you wonder why women don't play with us?--rich
moral fiber? it cleans out my moral colon.--steve
lenny likes leather... and so should you.--nick k.
it's shattered continents now.--steve
you have great fondness for children... that's sick.--rich
stop tinkling on me!--steve
*yes!*(with a bad accent) *i mean as a dm* *i mean....yes!*(normal voice)--rich and steve
dirty purf-ert!--me
*i'll split the horse with you.* *that would be disgusting*--andrew and steve
you'd have to rope two horses together.--rich(about erin's possible mode of transport)
rammstein is not a kind of horse.--kris
dadala dadala dadala dadala VEGETABLE GARDEN!
dadala dadala dadala dadala dadala dada dum dum CORN!--andrew
i heard "laundered porn"--steve.
and we'll probably run into "pum-antelopes"--kris
pimento loaves?--andrew
they're carnivorous vampire horses.--andrew
"butter ass knife?" "Mm, butter ass." - me and Kris.