The Amazing Quote Page!!
-I wasn't invited to the pahty?! - Raechel on the overarching plot of Emma-Minus the singing crabs n' shit. - me
-Enter large, puffy halibut, stage left. - me
-I'm making tea, you want some? Mind you, when I say, "I'm making tea," I'm doing it using a microwaved glass of water and a tea bag. Yes, just the way the ancient Chinese did it, using their clunky, old, Ming dynasty microwaves. - Brendan
-Our mascot is George Washington. ...And then there's the hippo. - Brendan
-"what's the big deal? The government invokes God all the time." If the government jumped off a bridge all the time, would it be ok? - Stenny (commenting on a news article)
-Lord Cavity is not my "woogie-woo." - me
-Jiminy Cricket is not a cricket. Jiminy Cricket is a generic small animal which had the label of "cricket" thrust upon him. - Brendon
-So how was it talking with Ashok? Online. Now.-Lisa and me
-'Do these pants make me look fat?' 'Hmm, well, it's not the pants.' -me describing my father's lack of tact.
-It's a symbolic thing; no one gives you tupperware. - Mordion
-Put that in the refrigerator in case I happen to want some milk and I want to kill myself. - Mom
-"I have great news!" "Ooh! The Pope asked you to marry him?"-Me and Mordion
-"Goodnight moon. Goodnight particleboard dresser. Goodnight prison surplus bed." "Goodnight insane roommate talking to the furniture."-Mordion and me
-I can hear you chewing through your shoulder. It's driving into my skull.-Mordion
-"There's room right over there." "That's not room, that's my ass!"-Dave and Jocelyn
-"Angry llama, confused llama..." "Wait, it's a yak!"-Dave and Mordion
Tresspassers walk through
They leave behind them no trace
Except this haiku-Dave
-it's not like it's wall-to-wall animal porn.--julia(in reference to the discovery channel)
-there is no taco like the eternal taco.--jenna
-where's that great comm-AHND-ment coming from?--julia
i can't support this baby dolphin--i'm going to get a second job at marineland.--julia
-they're invincible hit points.--ehren
-angola? that's a rest stop.--gina
-"the moral of the story is... is..." "stick to your own buttload."--me and suz
-"you'd love it if someone gave it to you." "what, herpes?"--i can't remember who said these.
-you are wise beyond your year.--me
-you are wise beyond your rear.--lisa
-"i only have like two pairs of underwear left." "no you don't."--me and my mishearing of julia
-do not take off your ozzie pants in front of the children!--julia
-i'm just going to make them greasy...
i mean...
nevermind.
...i'm just going to lather my face with oil. wanna join me?--gina
-i've been using down bow signs, but those could be mistaken for down bow signs...--me
-we just happen to be cursed with an instrument that's in tune...--jen klein (talking about the piccolo)
-are you eating my nuts??--bill stevens asked me this rather indignantly at dr. rudge's party.
-i gave ehren a bulldog this weekend--julia (a cute, stuffed one)
-i gave ehren a blowjob this weekend--what gina and i thought she said. this was even funnier because julia made some comment about what a lucky boy ehren was.
-when you get together around the campfire, i want you to play with each other...
::laughter::
you know what i mean... in terms of what we were talking about...
::more laughter::
ok, it isn't that funny...
::more laughter--dr. guy starts laughing too::--in our aural theory class--dr. guy misspoke slightly--this interrupted our class for about five minutes.
-i think this sweater is very resonant.--dr. guy
-could you do it once without any "quality of life moments"?--annie n. (this was about a melody dr. guy was playing for dictation which he kept adding suspensions, ritards and other "quality of life moments" to)
-"you're going to say things like, 'oh it's too cold,' or 'oh, the sun is too bright...'" "oh, this class is too long..."--dr. guy and steve l.
-It would really suck to spend eternity in five pieces.--jenna
-"so did the colonists drive on the leftor the right side of the road?" "because you know they drove a lot back then."--chris i and adam f
-susan stares psychotically like a well oiled machine--me
-wolverine is like buttah... with hair--suz
-i really like my hair to be clean, i don't know why.--me
-what can i clean with this tampon?--jenna
-if you feed my crotch to matt, i'll come back from the dead to haunt you.--jenna
-i didn't literally grow up on the stove, that would explain a lot though, wouldn't it?--sandy
-they stood tall and straight, like flan on a plate--jenna
-and in turn they'll throw you small treats from the ranger--jenna
-and now you can enact your plaster man! ...oops.--me
-...worship the flaming-haired woman, she will bring you peace. thank you, come again.--jenna
-Back in Irish times...--jenna
-...Gave proof through the night that our flag was not gone...--at one of jenna's basketball games
-"The creature could represent..." "an ugly dad"--roshni and adam l.
-Got a life? This is the first time you may actually need one.--my advertisement
-Exact same car. Exact same driving record. It's hard to tell apart when you taste them, too.--my advertisement.
-Scotchguard: a surprise for you thighs!--lisa's advertisement
-Stop right there! Do not lick this page. There's a better way to treat head lice--lisa's advertisement
-everything is more fun with goats--me
-...assorted secondary dollar slugs?--joanne
-i don't recall asking for sex.--adam
-i'm cultivating a reputation as an egghead--me
-one day, barb, you too will find your evil lord jorg.--adam
-well we're not going to do that! we're going to go over here, and have a sandwich and.... act french.--andrew
-doesn't your butt feel good? my butt feels good? no, seriosly, how's your butt?--adam (who was raving about the feel of susan's newly egg-crated bed)
-everything else i own is wrinkled, why not my soul, too?--me
-she's doing the nader mating dance--suz (about me-i should do it for you all)
-this sounds like a tavern/bar piece sung by opera singers.--dr. smith
-when i found the fuging tunes i got very excited--dr. smith(fuging is pronounced fugging--you figure it out.)
-one student asked, "what do we have these rules?" and i felt like it was passover or something.--dr. smith
-"we should all wear lowell mason shirts." "it's the mason geek fleet."--dr. smith and me
-Consider how stupid the average person is. Half of the people are worse.--Evan Hensleigh
(the first is a direct quote from berio and the second is my thoughts on it) "...musical instruments cannot really be changed, nor destroyed nor even invented."
--...and god said "let there be light!...and violas."--me
--and in the ongoing weather saga between cara and me...
--"what's the weather going to be tomorrow?" "why do you ask?? cold and snowy!" "no it isn't! it's spring!" "ok, fine! it'll be WARM and snowy!"
-you can't scrimp on the stuff that covers your stuff!--adam
-"'C' as in 'secret'! strong enough for a man, but pH balanced for a woman!" "it's time for break, isn't it?"--mr.jones and greg w.
-"now that i have patronized their restaurant i can use their bathroom." "so, you make pizza, do you?"--dad and me.
-"what note are you starting on?" "whatever note i want to."--dr.guy and me
(i can't believe i said that--that was in the middle of a mid-term!)
-I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON DR.RUDGE!--jim
-what does your roommate listen to? french rap! is that some new style of rap? no, it's regular rap, but it's in french, you know, like "s'il vous plait, croissant, croissant!"--sarah talking to her friends from home
-i saw the beast...buh dah de beep dah...it was blue...--dr.smith imitating beatnik poetry
-do your people eat potatoes?--ima
-hurry to the cupcake-mobile!--lisa
-what's that wrinkled thing next to the big, black blob?--me
-"vachement? in a cow manner?" "YES!"--dad, debi and me
-"was machst du meine schwester?" "PICCOLO!"--debi and me
-gee, you're tall for chinese...--mom (she has all the tact that jenna has, but worse!)
-you mean there's a dinner?? oh no!!--debi
-i mean, you can make new friends, but it's just not the same.--from fire safety video--the girl is talking about her friend who died in a fire.(we're not shallow!)
-i had an opera called "the urinal"... but that didn't go so well.--dr.smith
-when you see me do this ::bows facing away from us:: get your lips puckered!--mr. jones
-I am a trombonist. I play the trombone.--Mr.Kilpatrick
-Damn it Jim!! I'm a doctor, not a doughnut!--(don't ask)
-"And you know why?!" "'Cause you're not a friggin' doughnut!"--me and jim
-"I learn by taste! ::crumples up paper and shoves it in his mouth:: "mm...allegro!"--Val and Adam
-you can't hit me! ::boom::--andy b to greg w
-tux tux tux!--eric c
-this is one to write down for your posterior posterity--susan
-did you ever fool around with a whip when you were a kid?--Dr. Rudge
-"now you can beat three against four. go forth..." "and be prosperous!"--Dr.Gillette and Val
-and which of the three of us has proved able to live with my mother?--me (to my sister and my father)
-6 days?? the plague of lice didn't last that long!--jenna
-"liixo"?! and you criticised me for "clab"!--me talking to debi about this crossword puzzle which we were mostly successful in solving
-"to stop" nautically: liixo--the crossword clue
-yay added terror!!--me
-there's a table in this scene.--jenna
-i'm going to cook you up a savory flan!--emeril(from essence of emeril)
-you might want to use a donkey for that.--lisa (misheard from lynette jennings)
-Happy Birthday LISOR!!--lisa's birthday cake(with "lisor" underlined about six times in pink and purple gel frosting)
-"jesus" is the answer--bumer sticker
-"who was that masked man?" "jesus"--me
-signalling is the law, mom--debi
-"jesus h. christ on a stick!" "the romans did that."--me and my father
-what the hell is wiliamina's prophecy?--my mom
-i'm in a good mood. shut up and leave me alone.--meghanne
-please make shure the door is slamed. tank you.--note on the door of the 500 house
-my oscar will grow to be three feet long!--jesse
-it's snowing in my lap.--meghanne
-"how's the ravioli?" "no"--me and greg w.
-i'll knock you off the bed before you get me in the crack.--brian g.
-ai yai yai yai, i got new mexican flavor!--steve l. (singing)
-i'm going to shoot the next piaget teacher i see.--chris i.
-there's not one nice little hell creature. that'd be funny--hey! how's it going down there?--dr. smith
-8:30 AM! bright and early with Mayo and his cane!--jim
-you're not taking 80 classes again, are you?--brian c.
-i may not be very good at remembering things, but apparently i'm pretty good at treating myself like a five year old.--lisa
-i am evil. my nickname is "Satan." but i'm not that evil!--dr. davis
-it's like wagner on steroids.--dr. davis
-my guinea pig, she loves me!-dr. davis (he is singing this and accompanying himself with a D Mm7 followed by an Ab Mm7)
-spread your legs a little more?--dr. jaconsen (harry j)
-maybe you'll do better in class if you grip it a litle harder.-kat (discussing harry j's comment)
-let's do some rhythmic quickies!--dr. guy
-all i've got is ritz bitz sandwiches.... that happen to move an awful lot.--sarah
-i can't play this because i've just had a pot and a half of coffee... ::maniacal giggling::--brian m (during a violin playing test)
-...the two greatest things you can give your children... ::camera zooms in on sunflower seeds::--foundations adolescence movie
-i have abs of flab!--gina
-"can you see this?" "no." "good."--mark l. showing us an overhead of the ethos budget
- ...as opposed to a five person quartet...--dr.bohlen
-oh great, now we're ALL going to die...--gina (in reference to the overwhelming foot odor in the room)
-you have six hobos?--me mishearing suz offering us ho hos.
-what? oh, yeah, ehren library.--me
-i didn't know that doughnuts could leap.--julia
-i am hoping he is one of your professors and not the future ruler of some small country.--lisa
-even if Zerah had a sword he wouldn't know how to use it.--jenna
-*where are my videos?* *i ate them* .* ::burp::*--jim and me
-they're tanning....in the shade....--karen
-"don't hit me with your umbrella!! rather like you, it is small, ugly, wrinkled, and utterly ineffective." "but notice how you screamed when i used it."--jenna and matt
-yes, i understand a monument may attack my bag at any time. we could make a Fox special out of it. "when monuments attack".--rob w
-there's a beautiful, rural view outside my window of trees, mountains, and the castle gatehouse, and all i want to do is put a Blockbuster in the middle of it--lisa
-...and that's too bad.--david elkind from piaget video
-"there were a lot of abstensions." "what does that mean?" "it means they're pussies."--pat b and dr.bohlen
-SHOSTA-FUCKING-KOVICH!!--lisa
-SHOSTA-I CAN'T SAY THAT WORD IN FRONT OF MY FATHER-KOVICH!!--lisa
-"he's got good bone structure." "what does that mean? his wrists are nice and bony?" "no...well, i mean his skull looks good." "his skull looks good? that sure sounds nice!" "well why do you think i didn't say that in the first place?"--jeff and me
-i may not have made barbara snarf, but i made jenna do the eww dance--the day is not a total waste--lisa
-you shall be known as "tah, the not-so-brave-as-sir gak"--lisa
-damn you double sharp dagoth!--jenna
-another attractive sound brought to you by barbara!--evi
-this is ubergetting uberstupid.--lisa and me
-i'm going to kill you...i'm going to kill you hard!--debi
-coolness...kolmus....--jenna, lisa, me
-talking like yoda, you are--debi
-'cause we're sagacious like tah!--lisa -thank you, Captain Obvious!-me -our lord's the FUN lord! our lord's the SUN lord! vkandis! vkandis! vkandis!-me
-because we're cool like TAH!-lisa and me
-do you own absolutely no lamps, candles, hurricane lamps, flashlights or any source of light in your room whatsoever?-jenna
-Damn you Dagoth!-lisa and jenna
-you THINK you can condescend to me!!-me
-oh harry! you're not my sister, you're my...WIFE! (really loud diminished chord)-dr. smith
-and representation for women has improved--it is now at a whomping 9%.-dr. rankin
-that sign assumes the literacy of the theives.-debi
--are you fucking blind, deaf, dumb, retarded and living in a cave in Zimbabwe among rabid tigers with autism???-jenna
-it's the handsome but brainless knight-jenna, lisa and me
-Queen Winifred doth proclaim "shop rite and always save!"-renassaince faire
-what will US customs think of sixty people with knives?-me
-how do you feel austin powers represents your country?-random guy in shop rite
-obi wan kenobi is here. we must not let him escape. well DUH!-me in the second coming of star wars in theaters
-froggie! tastes like chicken!-i don't know who from my foundations class
-yee ha! it's a moustache!!-kathryn and me
-are you *fixing your pant leg*?-me
-you can still eat it-it hasn't been digested yet-jenna, lisa, and me
-eww, tea at four and confessional, how droll!-lisa
-you could be a coke fiend and still be sitting in the white house. -dr. rankin
-don't you have to take a drug test to be president?-a classmate
-it's not the olympics.-me
-i don't care how fucking preposterous it is--it's a fucking vi 4 2 chord!-me
-hit me harder than that! hit me! hurt me! hurt me!- dr. rudge
(this is in conducting class--we had to conduct a four pattern with force--if you really wanna know then ask me about it.)
-bananas in pajamas are coming UP the stairs, UP THE STAIRS, YOU STUPID AMERICAN!!-olga
-Eh, Chico?-jenna, lisa
-He's a party in your pants kinda guy-erin and me
-two grey gorrillas and a golden eye....ALRIGHT!! I DIDN'T READ IT!!-Roshni
-it's a perfect cube--eleven to the fourth.-bonnie
-mr.dolgon, he's really the man....shaped like a pear and his bald spot is tan...his taste in clothing is really atrocious...he's got an awful case of halitosis!-evi and me (with help from mr.ballereau)
-est-ce que la maison?-debi (this translates basically to "house?")
-tu eres un---stupid piece of fuck!!!-jenna
-being a history major i see a lot of history-mr.history
-oh no! i have lost my rightful hawk--fetch me my SPAREHAWK!!-lisa
-tempo di zirkin!-kat
-it's her father. the small furry thing is a toupee-adam l
-it's the sixty second sex scene!-mrs.e's class
-this is a new york state table-mr. lesse
-we have a quadratic equation solver on our calculators. they didn't have those when i was in high school. they didn't have the quadratic equation when you were in high school?? i'm thinking ancient greece!-mr.lesse and jason k.
-that was a pitch??-dr.mayo
-(to the tune of "god rest ye merry gentlmen") i know the lord of pesto sauce who nibbles on your ear-me
-you, long things, silver...FLUTES!-dr.mckoin
-you have to like the song. in what other song can you find the phrase "high-browed marxist ways"?-debi
-(toto's "africa", or so i thought) i spent my life trying to get away from you
-::THUNK!!:: you stupid, fucking bastard-assed worthless piece of shit bed!!! ...can i just say how dissatisfied i am with this situation?-me
-i am the harbinger of the arts-jenna
-i bring you ART!-lisa
-doomplaya!-me
-serve it to keiser, serve it to keiser!! why are we serving it to keiser?!-jordan m and anoop w (snoop)
-this is the chapter where they do it.-anoop
-damn! i missed it again, didn't i?-brian
-barbara wiklie?? you spelled your own name wrong?-kenny
-brave botswana!-kat
-southern office supplies-where you can get your very own burning cross paperweight, whitey-out, and other essentials-jenna et al.
-i'm still not a woman.-matt d
-oh! oh! TOO BAD!!-mr.ballereau
-eat em' up! eat em' up! let's go GEICO!!-mike m
-this is where he sings an entire aria which is essentially "ouch".-dr.smith
-mr.fludd! barbara disappeared! never mind that, get back to your work.-kat
-onward to victory! or the band room, whichever comes first.-me
-(in a whisper) the soft boiled eggs were horrible-debi's german tape