Benji tossed and turned in his Queen-sized bed restlessly, his lazy eyes fixing on the blue clock on his Sony CD Stereo system, ‘3:24AM’. He rubbed his hands over his eyes with fatigue, tossing his blue flannel comforter off his black boxers, and leaning up in bed, absolutely befuddled at why these damn depression pills didn’t help with sleeping. He stretched for the sky, his white wifebeater rising above his bellybutton when he heard 3 loud knocks at the front door and then CashDogg’s boisterous barking. Without even thinking, he flicked on his light next to his black dresser and proceeded to his left down the narrow teal staircase to the front door. “Be quiet, Cash!” Benji quietly scolded him and Joel’s boxer, Cash’s stubby tail wagging with Benji’s voice
“Who the hell is that?” Joel asked groggerly from the top of the stairs, scratching the side of his head as he let out a long yawn.
“I’ll see,” Benji told Joel, continuing downstairs, the automatic porch lights vaguely outlining the person, “Go back to bed.” Joel sleptwalk to bed without protest back to his room on the left. “You too, Cash,” Benji bent down and firmly told his dog. Cash lowered his ears as an apology methods and trotted back into the livingroom ton the right and into his large blue dog bed. Benji unlocked the top bolt and door knob and inched the white door open, surprised as to who he saw. “Phoenix? You know where I live? I mean…hi.”
Phoenix stood on his porch almost timidly, holding her hands in front of her, rivers of tears evaporating from her cheeks, the honks of light traffic in the backround. “I dropped Madison off here a few times because…she couldn’t drive. Ummm…” She began awkwardly, tucking her hair behind her ears, feeling like she was pulling teeth with Benji who didn’t take hints. “Can I come in please?”
“Sure,” Benji told her, opening the door wider. Phoenix strolled in, wrapping her arms around her sweatshirt as Benji closed and locked the door back up.
“I’m sorry if I woke you,” Phoenix quickly apologiesed, glancing around the dark house, the only light being emitted was from Benji’s room.
“I couldn’t sleep,” Benji contradicted her, taking a seat on one of the staircase’s red carpeted steps, leaning over and rubbing his fingers against his temples. Phoenix stood in front of him awkwardly, tears beginning to crawl into her eyes. Benji suddenly jerked his head up as if he had ESP, noticing the tears, “What made you come over her so late, Phoenix?”
“I, I woke up from a nightmare and I spilt ice cream on the floor and I was so cold that I ran into my room to put something on and I wasn’t paying attention or something and I knocked a box of Ethan’s stuff over and that’s when…that’s when…” Phoenix rambled, taking out the velvet box from her pocket. Benji’s eyes jumped out of his skulls as he involuntarily rose his hand to his mouth. “I found this.” Phoenix opened the box to reveal the ill-fated charm she would never get. Benji was speechless.
“I didn’t want to wake Madison because I put her through enough already and she needed to eat breakfast today with her family and I couldn’t think of anyone to talk to because I was like ‘Holy Fuck…he was going to…to…’” Benji stood up and laced his arms around her back, pulling her back down onto the stairs with him, Phoenix sobbing uncontrollably into his shoulder, her nails clawing into his opposite shoulder.
“It’s alright,” Benji tried to calm her down, not minding his flesh being pierced, gently brushing his hand though her hair and with his other hand kneeding small circles into her tense shoulder. “It’s alright to cry, Nix. You go ahead.”
Phoenix felt so safe, so comforted in another man’s arms. All the world could be crashing down on her, and someone was always there with bear hugs and consoling eyes. And now there was no one…except for Benji. Her tears began to subside and she turned forward, her tears turning into sniffles. Benji innocently kissed her cheek, Phoenix’s lips connecting with his with magnetic attraction. Softly their tongues tangoed in the darkness, both of their hands exploring each other’s bodies. Without thinking, Benji reeled her into his pudgy chest, Phoenix wrapping her legs around his waist tightly like a wrestler’s move, their mouths never breaking contact even in this constraining environment.
Benji slowly stood up and blindly carried her up the stairs, both of their fingers tangling through each others hair, Benji bumping against the wall a few times, a few pictures hanging from the wall rattling in response. He turned to the right and gently laid her upon his bed, releasing his mouth from hers as she laid back, her eyes staring at him with almost an evil, wild twinkle, as she bit her bottom lip suggestively. Benji crouched down slowly unzipped her jeans, tearing them off her body, along with her fuzzy rainbow slippers, licking his lips at her tanned thighs and lacey purple thong. Phoenix grabbed onto his neck and with one hand, ripped his wifebeater of his bare chest, her lips passionately attacking the nape of his neck, Benji glanced down at those naughty panties again, a tattoo peeking over its horizon on her left hip. As Phoenix continued working on his neck and chest, sweat popped in between them, her fingers scratching against his back, he began to feel something rise as he lowered her panties a little, gazing at the tattoo and its intricate detail; A frothy blue wave was pushing a yellow star towards her belly button, inside the star was the date 7.12.99 in red ink, and on one side of the point on the side was P*F and on the other E*B…’EB?’ Benji wondered to himself, his whole body suddenly stiff as a board. “Oh my god!” Benji shouted, immediately crawling away from the bed. Phoenix stared at him confused, sitting up on his bed, her hair like a buzzard’s nest, her legs Indian-style. “What am I doing?! I destroyed your life, remember?”
The realization of what Phoenix almost did came rushing to her like a dam broke loose. She clutched her hands to her face, her eyes bulging from her skull. “Fuck,” she whispered, glancing around his room wildly as if someone was stalking her, her stomach balling into a tight knot, her hands rubbing against her neck, trying to get the feel of filth to go away, “What am I doing?! I never act like that!”
“No, It’s my fault,” Benji differed, shaking his head vigerously and bending down to pick up her jeans, Phoenix scooting off the bed, beginning to pace the room like a crazy person, “I shouldn’t of kissed you.”
“What are you talking about?” Phoenix asked a bit austerely, taking her pants from him and proceeding to put them back on. “I kissed you. It’s just…The way you held me…the way you touched me…it reminded me so much of...that I guess I thought…” She paused, peering into Benji’s eyes, fumbling sightlessly with her zipper. “Still,” Benji told her, lightly smacking himself in the head, “I should have thought…It’s just…wow…you’re so…”
“I should go,” Phoenix interrupted him, not wantng to hear more and bolting for the stairs, almost dripping on the thick red carpet.
“Go home this late?” Benji asked, following her closely, not comfortable with her frazzled nerves, “I’d rather you not drive. You’re in no condition to.” Phoenix stopped, her hand pressed against the wall, continuing to listen to him. “I can take the couch if you’d rather sleep in my bed.”
“That would be nice,” Phoenix told him, looking over her shoulder at him as if they were enemy spies having a conversation.
“OK,” Benji responded with a small smile, proceeding back into his room for a pillow. Phoenix stood at the head of the stairs in a complete daze, feeling disgusted with herself. Benji exited his room, pillow in hand. “There’s an extra pillow on the bed….”
“Benji,” Phoenix interrupted him, staring at the bed like it was the most unwelcoming place, “I wouldn’t mind if you’d…sleep next to me? I mean, I feel awful banishing you from your bed and…I…need…God,” she glanced up to the ceiling for some strength, Benji peering at her curiously, “Someone…to hold me tonight.”
Benji nodded in agreement, soft of happy she agreed to stay, placing his hand on her back as he lead her back into his room. Phoenix took note of such a simple room, a closet on the right, 2 tower racks of CDs to the left, a Rancid and Minor Threat poser hanging above them, a few picture frames scattered across the dresser, a few black suitcases in the lefthand corner of the room. I guess simplicity is all you can afford when you’re on the road so much. Benji tossed his blue pillow back onto the bed. “Which side?” Benji asked genially, “Lady’s choice.”
“This side,” Phoenix told him, pointing to the right side. Benji nodded, curiously looking at Phoenix lowering her hands to her zipper, and then raising them again several times.
“Do you want to borrow something to sleep in?” Benji questioned, already heading for the dresser by the door.
“If you wouldn’t mind,” Phoenix replied softly, crossing her arms over her stomach, suddenly like the shyest girl in class standing next to the heartthrob. Phoenix didn’t understand why her flourished confidence wasn’t with her that night, but then again, she almost had sex with Benji, which totally brought her guard down. His hand came out of the drawer with a pair of blue Bart Simpson boxers and he handed them to her. “Thanks.”
“No problem,” Benji told her, walking back to the dresser and flicking the light off, soft moonlight crawling in from the blinds. Benji resisted watching her change into the boxers as he slid into his side. He felt her weight pressing on the other side of the bed as she tucked herself beneath the sheets. “Goodnight,” Benji gawkily called over his shoulder. Phoenix reached over to his arms and forcefully turned him around. Her eyes began to be weighted down with sleep and she rotated and slipped herself against Benji like they were pieces of the puzzle. The beating of his heart against her back was like soft music to her as she drifted away, her hands comfortable gracing over his on her stomach. Benji didn’t know if he felt comfortable that Phoenix envisioned him as her dead boyfriend, but the vanilla scent of her hair sedated him to sleep before he could think…