"Christ! That’s something I never want to see again!" Declan exclaimed, stalking down the hall like a man on a mission.

"What? What?" piped up Birkoff, struggling to keep pace with his lover’s longer strides. "Declan! For Pete’s sake, what did you see?"

Declan stopped, looked around to see if anyone was nearby, and whispered conspiratorially, "Walter and the Captain in the act!"

"No way..." drawled Birkoff, clearly stunned that people of Walter’s age not only made love but did so with considerable passion.

"They were in the workshop. On the workbench, of all places." Declan sounded impressed. "I had no idea the Captain was so...um...athletic."

"Was it really...you know...?" Birkoff asked timidly.

"You mean, were they full of wrinkles and all that crap? Sheesh, Sey, I don’t think any of us could pass the mirror inspection."

Birkoff looked up at Declan, a beatific smile gracing his face. "You could, you’re beautiful," he said almost reverently.

Declan leaned down and kissed him. "That’s cause you love me, sweetie. I imagine the Captain thinks pretty highly of Walter, too."

Birkoff smiled. Declan always had a unique perspective on things, and sometimes, sometimes Birkoff learned something.

Declan started to continue down the hall, and Birkoff almost let him go, suddenly realizing he had something to discuss with him. "Hey, wait!"

"What?"

"I wanted to ask you something." All at once, Birkoff felt tongue-tied and shy.

Declan peered into Birkoff’s face. "And?"

Birkoff looked like one of the twins when they had something to hide. That didn’t bode well. Declan always worried when Birkoff had trouble talking about something.

"Spit it out, Sey, for God’s sake," Declan commanded.

"Well...okay..." He took a deep breath. "I want to get a job."

Declan shifted his weight from foot to foot, trying not to display his very natural anxiety at such a dramatic proclamation. "A job?"

Birkoff bit his lip. "Uh, yeah... So I could do something useful, make friends, have something intelligent to do during the day..." His voice trailed off when he saw the furious look on Declan’s face.

"You don’t think being Emmy’s father is useful? You don’t think what you do here, for this family, is intelligent? Oh, and lest I forget your most important point...make friends?" Declan’s silvery eyes flashed angrily.

"Christ, Sey! What you mean is I’m not enough for you! You want an excuse to go out and cheat! Well, you’re not getting my permission to do it!"

"Declan, we discussed this one other time, but you blew me off!" Birkoff protested.

"We weren’t bloody married then, were we, Sey? Goddammit, Sey!" Declan’s eyes were wet with angry tears, tears he ignored until they ran aimlessly down his cheeks. Then he brushed at them with the backs of his hands, as if the show of emotion annoyed him.

Birkoff shook his head sadly. "I’m sorry, Dec, but you’re overreacting. A job is just that. A job. Not an excuse to cheat. I love you, Declan. I don’t want anybody else."

"Prove it then."

"How?"

"Give up this stupid idea."

"It’s not a stupid idea, Dec. I need to have something else to do with my life. So do you."

"You’re going to do it anyway, aren’t you, Sey? You don’t freaking care what I think!" Declan stormed off without another word.

Birkoff stared after him for a long, long time. But even though his own eyes clouded with unshed tears, Birkoff refused to give up the idea. There wasn’t anything wrong with wanting something different. He didn’t want to change his entire life. Just part of it.

***

That was how Birkoff came to find himself down at the mall. He had fond memories of the mall. This was, in fact, where he and Declan were reconciled. Where Birkoff finally admitted that he loved Declan. That way.

Now he was just another young man in search of a job. Nothing taxing or stressful. He didn’t need the aggravation. Nothing complicated. He had enough money to live on, thanks to Michael’s foresight and his own gift for investing those funds.

He found what he was searching for in the very next place he looked. A huge bookstore right in the center of the mall. Birkoff loved books. Being relatively introspective by nature, books were often his only friends. But now, thanks once again to Michael and Nikita, he had family as well as friends.

The owner of the bookstore took one look at Birkoff and hired him on the spot. He knew intelligence when he saw it. Birkoff’s dark chocolate eyes fairly glowed as the man praised him to the Heavens. Okay, there had to be a catch of some sort. Low pay? Nope, that wasn’t it. Working every weekend? Yep, that would be a problem.

Actually, the real problem was going to be explaining to Declan that he had found a job. Then he would break the news that he was going to be working every weekend.

Birkoff broke the news at dinnertime. Declan was serving dinner to the family in the dining room. For once, nearly everyone was present. That should have made things easier.

But it didn’t.

Just as Declan came around to put the last of the food on the table, Birkoff spoke. "I got a job today," he said brightly.

Nikita smiled warmly at the younger man she considered a brother. "Good for you, Birkoff."

She saw her mistake a moment later. Declan slammed the bowl of mashed potatoes on the table in front of Birkoff. "I see you wasted no time," he said, gritting his teeth.

Walter exchanged curious looks with his wife. Michael merely blinked, as if this type of thing were common. Nikita decided to rescue the situation before it became explosive.

Grabbing Declan’s arm, she stood up and pulled him into the kitchen. "Okay, Declan, what’s going on?" She was tall enough that Declan’s height didn’t intimidate her in the least, and she knew she was easily as good as he was in hand-to-hand combat. So she wasn’t afraid of him when he was angry.

Declan glared at Nikita sullenly. "Doesn’t anybody have privacy anymore?"

"Not when you start trying to break dishes in the middle of dinner. You want to talk about it?"

Declan shook his head. Nikita sighed. Declan could be a country unto himself sometimes.

He went back into the dining room, Nikita trailing behind him, not a little nervously. Standing at the head of the table, Declan declared, in a stilted voice, "I’m very sorry to have disrupted your dinner. It won’t happen again."

Now Michael was staring at Nikita. The impression everyone, including him, had of the situation was that Nikita had taken Declan aside and chastised him, apparently successfully, by the look of it.

Declan couldn’t prevent himself from stealing a glance at Birkoff, who didn’t seem quite as happy with his news as before. "Don’t let me interrupt any further," he said softly, leaving the room.

Walter wrestled with several reasons for Birkoff’s unhappy face, but they all came back to Declan. Clearing his throat, he got Birkoff’s attention. "So, Seymour, you got a job? Doing what?"

"Working in a bookstore," Birkoff answered.

Walter nodded. "What made you decide to go to work?" he asked.

"I wanted to get out and meet people. Maybe make some friends." He paused, waiting for Walter or one of the others to challenge him the same way Declan had.

Walter smiled kindly. "I can understand that. Stuck in the house with us, day in, day out. Must be boring for a young man like you."

Birkoff’s mouth dropped open. "No! No, it’s not! What is it with you people? Just because I want to make new friends doesn’t mean I’m bored with you guys! Any of you!"

Michael intervened. "Is that what Declan thinks?"

Birkoff dropped his eyes to the tablecloth. "Declan thinks I want to cheat on him," he whispered so low only Michael could hear him.

Michael met Nikita’s compassionate gaze. Turning back to Birkoff, he said, "And do you?"

"No...." Birkoff whispered.

"Here’s to your new job, then," said Michael, raising his water glass. "Just remember, Birkoff...no one on the outside can ever really understand who we are."

***

Birkoff crept into the sitting room he shared with Declan. Declan was staring blindly at the television, clearly preoccupied. "Where’s Emmy?"

"I put her to bed early," said Declan listlessly.

"Declan, we have to talk about this," Birkoff urged.

Declan ran his hand over his face, shaking his head slightly. "I’m sorry, Sey. You have every right to do what you want."

Birkoff scooted to the floor just in front of Declan’s knees. Grasping his knees, Birkoff laid his head on Declan’s lap. "Tell me why you feel so threatened, Declan."

Declan kept staring at the television, unseeing, his hand automatically finding his lover’s hair to stroke it. "I dunno. I guess I wanted us to be everything to each other. When you said you wanted a job...it was like you weren’t satisfied with me..."

"I love you, Declan."

"I know you do, Sey," Declan said hoarsely, starting to cry.

Birkoff reached up to pull Declan’s face down to his. Framing his face with both hands, Birkoff gazed intently into Declan’s eyes. "I don’t think you do, Dec," he whispered.

Kissing Declan as tenderly as possible, Birkoff said, "I really do love you, Dec. I don’t want anybody else."

Declan closed his eyes. "Sometimes I think I love you too much, Sey. Maybe that’s why you need to get away from me. I’m smothering you."

Birkoff shook his head vehemently. "No!"

Startled, Declan opened his eyes to stare at his lover. "No?"

"I’ve never felt that way with you." Birkoff laughed unhappily. "If anything, I’m the one who needs you too much. I thought...Jeez, if something ever happened to you...I’d just fall apart."

"But you’ve got the others, Sey. You’ll always have support."

"But it wouldn’t be the same, Declan. Without you." Birkoff held onto Declan’s hands, rubbing his cheek affectionately against them. "Maybe I need to know I could make it on my own, if I had to."

Declan sighed. "So...this job. Are you going to be away from me all week long?"

Birkoff shook his head again. "I couldn’t do that to either one of us, Declan. I’m working two days a week plus the weekend."

"Every weekend?" Declan asked incredulously.

Birkoff nodded, cringing at the thought of Declan’s probable reaction.

Declan blinked. "Can I come to visit you any time I want, acushla?"

"Yes, Declan, yes," Birkoff said with a relieved smile.

"Well, I guess I can survive without you for a few hours a week," Declan commented. "I’m glad you’re not working full time, though, I wouldn’t want you to miss Emmy growing up."

"Oh, no, Declan. That will never happen." He kissed Declan fervently, and Declan clung to his mouth possessively.

"I swear, Dec, if it ever comes down to a choice between you and the job, you’d win. You know that, don’t you?" Birkoff waited impatiently for Declan to answer.

Declan laughed. "Now you tell me."