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I don't know when I let myself belive this. When I first realized that not only guys frequented my mind, I tryed to think maybe I was joking myself. Maybe it was a little phase sort of thing I'd get over. But now I've adapted myself to it and I am no longer afraid of this. This feeling. This emotion that even if I disagreed with, I could not stop. I'm not saying I don't like guys. I do. I have a wonderful boyfriend. But I don't put it out of my head to one day be able to walk down the street holding a woman's hand and introduce her as my girlfriend. I think it'd be amazing. I've kissed a girl before. Me and my friend kiss alot. At first I think we did it more for the looks we'd get more then anything else. but I do it now because I like it. I like her. Shes beautiful and we've talked numerous times about having a relationship. I think that if I do ever make love to a woman, I would want her to be my first. Shes an amazing person and I love her. I try to explain my feelings to people, but no one understands. Let me rephrase that; very FEW people understand. They think, "oh god, you like girls, your a dyke!!" And its not that way. For me, I see women as i see men. If I am attracted to them, then its fine. Women are beautiful. They know so much more about each other then any man would ever come close to knowing. I don't remember when I started feeling this way. I don't remember ever not actually feeling this way. even when I used to feel that feeling this way was wrong, morally and socially, I still felt this way. I've always been able to look at women and see them as beautiful. The most beautiful ones are the ones who don't care. The ones like me, and steph, and kait, and my friend. the ones who have gone beyond innocence and have realized who they are. And what they want to be. and they aren't afriad to admit it. Those are the type of women i could fall in love with. And I already have.

Inside Me
Unearthly Behavior